Novels2Search

Chapter Thirty-two: Musings

Day Thirteen of Surveillance

Keiko’s POV:

Despite the fact that it had already been a few days since their almost kiss, Keiko still found herself unable to completely relax around the raven haired detective. He had entered her mind, uninvitedly plaguing all of her thoughts; he refused to leave. It genuinely frustrated her to no end, and she mentally cursed herself for being unable to entirely focus on the investigation. She knew full well that the Kira investigation should come first.

However, that was much easier said than done. A part of her found that she just couldn’t stop thinking about what could have happened...no, what would have happened if L had actually kissed her that night.

This was because, if he really had kissed her, Keiko knew she would have kissed him back. She would have kissed him without thinking about all of the possible consequences. A kiss was never simply just a kiss. After being cheated on twice now, Keiko knew that. She knew that a mere kiss, whether it was intended or not, came with many other kinds of complications. Emotional complications.

Keiko knew that, with her recent break up and the current situation with the Kira investigation, she wasn’t in the best place. She was a mess. Light Yagami had hurt her, possibly even used her for his own personal gain. Not only that, but he was also probably Kira, a mass murderer; a monster.

The worst part was, if that was all true, it meant that she had been dumb enough to trust him, to fall for him. It was more than enough to tear her up on the inside.

She knew that, despite her emotions, she had to keep on investigating in order to find out the truth. There were many questions that she needed answers to, that she was determined to get answers to no matter what the cost.

Keiko knew it would probably hurt even more to know the truth, but it would be a lot more agonizing to never know. She couldn’t live life like that, she knew she was in far too deep. There would be no getting out now. These questions plagued her entire existence, and would continue to plague her until she had answers.

Was her ex-boyfriend really Kira, and was the girl he cheated on her with, Misa Amane, the Second Kira? On that note, did Light really cheat on her like she thought, or had he actually been the victim in that situation like he insisted? Or perhaps, was Light playing her all along like L thought?

These were the types of questions that she desperately needed answered, and she felt like, if they didn’t get answered, she would go crazy.

No, she was already well on her way to going crazy.

The whole investigation had been one big mess. When she started investigating the case on her own, she never expected that she would be contacted by the ever-so-secretive, world-renowned L to help solve the case. She never expected that her boyfriend would become the prime suspect, and she certainly never expected that she would get so personally involved in the case.

Adding in a possible kiss with the world’s greatest detective definitely wasn’t what Keiko expected to happen.

However, the fact was that it did almost happen and now Keiko would now have to find answers to even more questions. Questions Keiko wasn’t sure she should answer, especially given the current circumstances. She knew she didn’t have the time for these questions, but they were still ringing through her mind.

What did their almost kiss mean? Did he truly want to kiss her, or was it all just an act? Did the fact that Keiko would have kissed him back mean that she liked him, even if it was only a little bit? Or had she just been intrigued at the thought to kiss the world renowned detective, the enigma, L?

Keiko wasn’t even sure she would get answers to her first set of questions, let alone the second set. This left her feeling not only very tired but also quite frustrated. She swore that she had never felt so frustrated ever in her life. It felt like, no matter what ended up happening, it wouldn’t be anything good.

The girl let out a soft sigh, running a hand through her slightly tousled hair. It was nearing one in the morning and there still had been no news. No new victims. Meaning that it was even more likely that her ex-boyfriend was Kira.

Wonderful.

Deciding that it was getting too late for her to properly function, Keiko stood up. She stretched a moment, watching the raven haired detective sitting on a chair in front of her as she weighed her options. She didn’t want to risk leaving the hotel room in case there were any new developments with the investigation, but she also starting to find it rather hard to keep her eyes open. There was only one good solution.

The couch it is again...she thought, stifling a yawn as she headed over.

Keiko wasn’t sure if she could actually get a good rest, she actually doubted it, but she figured that it was worth a shot. She grabbed one of the pillows from the couch and the extra blanket that was sitting in front of the coffee table, and made herself comfortable.

It only took a few moments for her to drift off...

“L-Light-kun,” Keiko softly called out to her ex-boyfriend. He was sitting, cross legged, in front of his bed in the dimly lit cell. She could hear her heart pounding in her chest as she walked forward towards the cell, waiting in anticipation for his response.

Upon hearing his name, Light’s head quickly snapped up and she could see deep into his wide light brown eyes; they were round and pleading. He quickly stood up and rushed over to the front of his cell, getting as close to Keiko as he could. His hands gripped the bars of the cell, and he stared straight into Keiko’s eyes, tugging once more on her heartstrings.

Keiko bit her lip. She had to try to remain strong, no matter what.

“K-Keiko-chan!” Light yelled out to his ex-girlfriend. She could hear the desperation hidden deep within his voice “you can surely see how ridiculous this is! I swear I’m innocent! You have to believe me, right?”

Even with the emotion in his voice, his words felt as though they had been rehearsed. It was all very puzzling to Keiko. It was getting harder and harder for her to trust her ex-boyfriend. She truly wanted to, but something inside of her was telling her that trusting him again would be a huge mistake. Something told her that she shouldn’t have trusted Light Yagami at all, let alone get involved with him.

Before Keiko even had the chance to respond, a certain detective’s voice suddenly rang out from behind her.

“No. That’s where you are wrong,” L started, “you are not innocent, Light Yagami. Or should I say...you are not innocent, Kira.”

His voice grabbed Keiko’s attention, pulling her away from her ex-boyfriend. She turned around to face the world’s greatest detective. His dark eyes met Light’s, and she could see the coldness as it dripped from his piercing gaze. She had to stop herself from shivering, despite the room itself not being cold.

“B-but I’m not Kira, how could you say that?!” Light demanded, crossing his arms defensively in front of his chest.

“It has been thirteen days since you have been under surveillance. It has also been thirteen days since Kira last killed. Coincidence? I think not,” L responded, keeping his eyes focused on Light’s, “one would be a fool to believe you’re innocent, Light-kun.”

“I swear, I’m really not him, I’m being framed!” was Light’s desperate response. He turned to look over at Keiko once more, “you know I’m innocent, right, Keiko-chan?!”

Keiko took a deep breath and glanced between the two of them. She could see the pleading look in Light’s eyes, and the hardness of L’s gaze. Somehow, Light’s words still didn’t quite match up. She knew, despite wanting to fall into those deep eyes of his, she couldn’t risk it. The evidence was stacked too high against her ex-boyfriend. She no longer was sure that she could, or even should, trust him.

It was hard, but she had to speak the truth, especially because something just felt off to her. She took in a deep breath before finally speaking, “n-no. I don’t know. I’m sorry, Light-kun…for all I know, you really could be Kira…after all, that’s what it looks like right now. If that’s really true, then I refuse to be a fool any longer.”

L took a step forward towards the cell. Towards Light, facing him head on. There was no fear in his eyes, only determination and amusement.

“You heard her...now, why don’t you give it up, Kira. The game is up, you’re no longer fooling anyone.”

His strong words reverberated off of Light’s holding cell. To Keiko, it felt as though the world had entirely stopped moving. She could feel her heart slowly pumping as she waited, yearning for a reaction, any at all, from her ex-boyfriend.

After a long moment of silence, Keiko heard laughing coming from Light’s general direction. It was soft at first, but it slowly grew louder and more malicious. More threatening. It was unnerving for Keiko. For probably the first time, Keiko didn’t feel safe around her ex-boyfriend. Light lifted his head up, his face illuminated by the bright light on the ceiling above him. He ran a hand through his already disheveled light brown hair.

“Alright...like you said, I suppose there’s no use putting on a show anymore; I can’t fool you guys anymore...you’re right, L. I’m him,” Light chuckled, turning his head so that he was facing both Keiko and L once more, “I am Kira.”

There was a wild, almost feral, look in his eyes. It was a stark contrast to the round and innocent look he had on his face only moments before. He didn’t look like the man that Keiko had fallen in love with; he looked like a monster. Keiko’s blood ran cold and she felt as though she had just been punched in the stomach.

“N-no,” she choked out, her eyes filling up with tears. Her worst fear had just been confirmed. She had loved a monster, a mass murderer, without even knowing it. It was her fault for letting herself be fooled by him, his sweet words and his soft kisses.

She had loved Kira.

That fact now made her sick to her stomach. It was one thing to suspect him, it was another thing entirely to hear the truth coming from his lips. It was almost too much for her to handle, she felt as though the world was collapsing around her.

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“Yes,” Light laughed maniacally, “it’s true...and, on that note, you’re quite fun to fool, Keiko-chan…”

While Keiko felt like her heart had been ripped out of her chest, she noticed that L seemed unfazed by Light’s sudden confession. He had been expecting this sort of result all along, of course. She had been the only fool.

“I knew it,” L smirked. He took another step forward, now face to face with Light, only a few inches and the cell bars separating the two, “all I needed was just a confession, which you’ve just given me. Thank you, Light-kun. This will be quite useful for convicting you.”

“Did you really think that you would be convicting me?” was Light’s chilling response. Keiko was unsuccessful in holding in a shiver. She closely studied the two men; her ex-boyfriend with his eyes tinted red and L, with his dark eyes. He looked unafraid and ready for anything else Light was about to throw at him.

Or so he thought.

All of the sudden, the detective unexpectedly doubled over, clutching at his heart. Keiko watched in horror as L writhed in pain. She could feel her heart breaking as she was powerless to stop it. Unfortunately, she knew that there was nothing she could do to help him.

“Soon you’ll be dead; I’ve won, L.”

“L,” Keiko cried, her lips trembling a little. She knelt down, grabbing the detective and holding him in her arms. His eyes were still open, but just barely, and she could tell he couldn’t even muster up the strength to speak. On top of everything, Keiko could still hear her ex-boyfriend laughing in the background.

“L,” she cried once more, as the detective’s eyes started to close for good. Keiko was near hysterical now, her body now fully trembling, her eyes now dripping tears.

She couldn’t lose him, not like this. Not after they had finally solved the case that they had spent months on. Keiko couldn’t bear to see L like this, a detective she looked up to, killed by Kira, her ex-boyfriend. It couldn’t end like this, it was unfair. And yet, here it was happening, and she was powerless to stop it.

Keiko was a multitude of emotions: sad, hurt, enraged. There was now one thing that she knew for sure; she would never be able to forgive Light Yagami.

He had tricked her. He had killed thousands of people, and now, he had killed L. Somehow, she had to stop him before he killed anyone else.

L’s POV:

The detective let out a soft sigh and closed his eyes. It was now nearing three in the morning and there were still no new developments with the investigation. On top of that, he had been thinking for hours and still hadn’t come up with a solid theory as to why the heart attacks simply stopped after confining Light and Misa.

He had been so sure that Light, in order to keep his name clean, would have found a way to keep on killing criminals even after being taken in his cell for confinement.

If things kept continuing the way that they were, it would only be a matter of time before he could have the two of them arrested and convicted of being Kira and the Second Kira. However, Light’s original goal with his confinement was to prove to himself and to L and the rest of the Task Force that he wasn’t Kira.

Things just weren’t really adding up.

Surely, if Light Yagami were Kira, he would have been smart enough to figure out a way for criminals to keep dying even after being confined…that way, his name would easily be cleared…however, it’s now been thirteen days since the start of his confinement. Why would Light want to convict himself on purpose?

L leaned forward, studying Light Yagami’s sleeping form on the video. His eyes narrowed as he zeroed in on his face. He looked peaceful and innocent. Too innocent.

Was he truly unconscious of his actions as Kira? …for some reason, I find that highly unlikely…it seems almost too simple, too easy of an excuse. And he must know, even if he was acting as Kira unconsciously, he would still he punished for his actions. There’s no excuse for murder…

The raven haired detective continued to watch Light as he slept, unconsciously reaching down for his stash of sugar. He needed a boost. After a moment he realized that he had already gone through his stash. There was another stash at the other side of the hotel room, but he’d have to get up first.

Time for a momentary break, I guess.

L reluctantly stood up from his chair, heading towards the table holding the extra sweets in the back of the hotel room. He had nearly arrived when he heard the soft whimper coming from Keiko’s direction. The detective turned around to get a good look at her.

The girl was curled up, her chest rising and falling as she lay fast asleep on the couch of the hotel room. The detective knew by now that it wasn’t uncommon for her to move around or to make noises in her sleep.

He had grown rather used to her presence at night, especially seeing how often Keiko fell asleep at the Task Force headquarters, despite having her own separate hotel room with a comfortable bed.

I suspect it’s because she doesn’t want to miss any new developments with the investigation…how admirable of her…it shows how far she’s willing to go to be seen as a true detective.

He chuckled a little, slightly shaking his head. The detective was about to keep moving when he heard yet another whimper coming from Keiko’s direction. He stopped a moment and listened, really listened. It sounded as though she was crying in her sleep.

Despite having heard her make noises in her sleep multiple times before, this time was a little different. He could tell just from the desperation in her voice that she was having a nightmare. A rather terrible nightmare, judging from how vulnerable Keiko sounded.

L could feel the pangs in his chest starting up again, which he fought rather hard to ignore. He had been feeling them every time he knew that Keiko was close by, something he was starting to find rather annoying. The detective knew that he had to control himself or else he would be risking the whole investigation. He simply couldn’t have that.

The detective turned back around so that he could no longer see the sleeping girl.

I cannot allow myself to have any feelings for Keiko...that would only distract me from that case, and I can’t allow that. Not now, not when there’s so much at stake...not when there are so many questions that need answers. It’s over 30% possible that if I turn back around now, I will start to fall for her…

He knew that he should have just let her be.

However, despite his better judgement, the curious detective turned his head back around to get a better look at her. He noticed that she had shaken off her blanket, it was now lying in a puddle by her feet. He also noticed the dots of perspiration on her forehead, signaling that she was having a stressful dream. It was way more than a usual nightmare, that much he was able to tell.

Before he knew it, it was slowly walking towards her, his sweets suddenly almost forgotten. It was as though he was being pulled in her direction. He found that he was unable to stop himself. He was so wrapped up in her.

I’ll only be fixing her blanket...that’s all... he reasoned with himself as he reached the edge of the couch where she was sleeping, after all, I can’t have her waking up cold. If she’s cold, she won’t be able to focus as well on the case after she wakes up. That action in itself isn’t that risky, it’ll just be a few seconds… it’s really not a big deal to fix someone’s blanket, it doesn’t mean anything. It’s just a nice gesture that people do.

L took a seat on the couch next to Keiko, carefully fixing the blanket so that her body was covered once more.

Afterwards, instead of getting up like he had originally planned, he studied her a moment. Somehow he didn’t want to get up quite yet, he wanted to test something first. The detective knew it was a risky move but a part of him wanted to stay and make sure she was okay. He wanted to make sure that her nightmare was over.

He noted that the added warmth of the blanket must have somewhat soothed her, because she had stopped making noise in her sleep.

However, he could still see that the nightmare she was having was still clearly bothering her, as marked by the perspiration on her forehead and her still trembling body.

Something very traumatic must have happened in this nightmare to evoke this strong of a reaction from her…

He hesitantly reached over, lightly resting his hand over the small of her back, which was now covered by the hotel’s blanket. He was so close to touching her.

A part of him knew that he had already outstayed his welcome and was well overdue for getting up, but another part of him wanted to stay by her side. He knew full well that he had veered straight into dangerous territory, but he felt as though he was being pulled in by her. She just looked so vulnerable, so innocent as she slept.

He remembered once again the sadness, the desperation in her voice earlier. It had intrigued him, it had made his chest ache, a feeling that he found he was having quite often whenever she was around.

L thought back to a few nights ago, remembering how Matsuda had comforted Keiko when she had been crying. He slowly raised his hand back up, the way Matsuda had done, and was about to touch the small of Keiko’s back when he hesitated a moment.

Was he really capable of doing that?

Was he really capable of comforting another person?

The detective honestly wasn’t sure. He had never done something like that before, but a part of him wanted to find out. Another part of him was telling him how dangerous it was but he eventually found that he was unable to stop himself.

I simply can’t work knowing that she’s like this, it’ll just be too distracting…besides, it’s not like there’s much to work with as far as the case is right now.

After a moment, he hesitantly reached down, and lightly patted her back in an attempt to comfort her. L continued on, giving her back awkward pats. He knew that he was more than inexperienced with comforting people, but judging from Keiko’s reaction, he was doing an okay job of it so far. He had gotten her to stop trembling so much.

A few more seconds went by without a negative reaction from her and he concluded that she was stable once more. L rested his hand on the small of her back when he was finished, just basking in the quiet. He supposed he should get up and finally get the sugar that he had been craving.

The detective leaned closer to the edge of the couch, and was about to stand up when he felt a sudden slight tug on the edge of his shirt. He moved slightly so that he could glance in Keiko’s direction and noticed that her eyes were now fluttering open. Once her eyes were fully open, she stared, doe-eyed at the detective for a moment, drinking in his form before breathing in a big sigh of relief.

Before L even had a chance to register what was going on, Keiko sat up on the couch. She inched forward, reaching over to envelope the detective in an awkward hug. She wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulder as she did so.

“L…y-y-you’re really here,” she muttered in his ear, “y-you’re w-well and a-alive…”

L stiffened, unsure how to proceed with the affection he was now getting from her. He could feel the warmth emitting from Keiko’s body, he could feel her heart as it slowly beat in her chest, and he could also sense the emotion hidden behind her stuttered words.

The raven haired detective could simply feel her, vulnerable and real.

He knew that the girl was not a threat to him, she never had been. Knowing this, he decided that it would be okay for him to relax. It felt strange, as he was nowhere near used to having this much physical contact with someone, but it didn’t feel bad.

In fact, L deduced that it felt rather nice.

He rather liked how it felt having Keiko hold him, but he had to remind himself that it was only temporary. L had to remind himself that this was only happening because of a nightmare she had, no other reason. He also figured that Keiko was probably still half asleep, or at least she hadn’t fully realized herself what was happening.

That she was hugging the world’s greatest detective in one of her most vulnerable moments to date.

“L,” Keiko softly breathed out, her head still resting on his shoulder, “please be careful…”

Please be...careful? Me? ...is this about her nightmare? Did Kira, Light, finally find a way to get rid of me? If so, does this mean that she’s taking my side over her ex-boyfriend…? And, if so, perhaps…does she care about me? He quickly shook that thought away, no she’s only confused...she’s still hurting because of Light right now. It’s only natural for her to feel drawn to me at the moment because we’ve been spending a lot of time together. I’m a rebound in a way. It doesn’t truly mean anything, and I suspect it her possible feelings for me will clear up soon enough.

Knowing this, there was no way he could allow himself to hug her back.

He couldn’t risk it. He had risked so much already.

“You should try and go back to sleep,” L said simply. He attempted to pull away from the partially asleep girl and her warmth. Getting sucked in even more would be way too dangerous, “it’s late for you. Your body needs sleep. Proper sleep.”

Keiko, finally realizing that he was pulling away from her, rubbed her eyes a moment and looked up at him. Her eyes widened, as if she finally realized the absurdity of the situation. She gave an awkward little cough, “r-right...I’m sorry, Ryuzaki-san, for bothering you...but...you should try and get some sleep as well. You stay up late every night...do ever sleep? Surely even hot shot detectives like you get tired.”

L stiffened at her comment. It had been, in fact, a couple days since he had gotten any real sleep at all.

“I’m fine, Kagami-san,” he said after a long moment, “don’t worry about me.”

With that, L got up from the couch. As much as he wanted to, he didn’t glance back behind him. He waited until he got back at his desk and was seated for a few minutes. When he finally decided it was safe to look back, Keiko was fast asleep once more.