The dining room was quite expansive for a mansion built to house only one person. Dullish-yellow walls rose high, a little too high for anyone’s liking. Frames that would normally display the countenances of those living here instead displayed numbers and reports, test results and certificates of approval. The dinner? The body of one Alyx Thibault, splayed out for all to see, white lab coat and hair blotted with blood, but still calm even in death.
For all his talk of how macho he was, Big Bill could not help but throw up into the nearest trash can. Heaving into the small bin, he points accusingly at the rest of the group and mutters underneath the bile: “Which one of you idiots gone up and dressed the poor lady’s body like that?!”
Bill’s finger finds its first victim: Shay, who throws her hands up and yells, “I didn’t do fucking shit to him! Do I fucking LOOK like a murderer to you?!” Shaking her head, she backs away from the body and hits the foot of a chair. As she yells, she instinctively hits a glass, sending it shattering to the floor with a crash.
At that, Leo screams and covers her ears, yelling profanities back at Shay in Italian. “What - no, I didn’t see the chair there, there’s a whole-ass dead body on the table! What kinda sick trick is this?!” Shay barks back at Leo, who yells at her louder, this time in Spanish.
Leaning against a wall, the leather-jacketed lone-wolf Blake simply giggles at this farce of a display. She calls out to the group, “Leo isn’t accusing you of anything, she just doesn’t think it’s worth our time. Do they not have language classes on the other side of the pond?”
Blake wraps her arm around Jake, her slightly-taller companion for the moment, and leans in to whisper to him, “See how your precious partner acts under pressure. You’ve got terrible taste.” To that, Jake looks at Blake with shock in his face and retorts, “Speak for yourself, mate. You not worried about this body on the table?!” Blake simply laughs it off; “Makes for a nice decoration, sure.”
Bill’s finger flies rapidly towards everyone in the room while Leo quickly steps toward Shay, full intent of punching the lights out of her gleaming through the goalie’s eyes. Jake looks between the two, hyperventilating, about to black out while Blake laughs maniacally. The powder keg is set to blow.
Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.
But then, someone cuts the rope at the last second. Well, someone and her dog.
Strolling into the room like it was a casual Tuesday stroll is a girl clad in pink, to put it simply. Pink dress, pink shoes, pink eyes. Even a pink poodle! Humming a classic from Marc Anthony, she strides into the room and, upon looking at the chaos, gasps incredulously. “Oh dear, looks like we’ve gotten ourselves in quite the pickle, dearest Lucia!” The poodle sniffs the air and scrunches her nose. Everyone in the room stares at her like they’ve seen an angel descend to Earth and grow a new head.
Leo’s the first to ask. “¿Quien puta eres tú?” To which the lady responds, in perfect Spanish, “Soy solamente un visitante! Ahora, porque peleas con este…” The woman turns to Shay. “Mister? Miss?” The hockey player simply shrugs. “...persona? Y porque hay una mujer muerta en esta mesa que es muy elegante?”
The Anglophones slowly gather around each other, feeling a little locked out of the loop. Before they could speak, the lady in pink reassures them, “Don’t worry, darlings, I’m simply wonderin’ what’s all the ruckus in this fine lil’ abode!” Leo rolls her eyes and counters, in English, “Your name. We want your name.” The lady, as if remembering something, puts a hand to her shaking head. “Oh, my sincerest apologies, I haven’t even introduced myself! My name’s Jensen. Red Jensen. And this is my precious poodle, oh aren’t you the bestest?!” Red puffs Lucia’s cheeks adorably. Everyone just stands there confused.
Eventually, Bill is the first to speak. “Howdy, Miss Red. Pardon the, uh, state of affairs. But we’re just as in the dark as you regarding the body.” Blake then unwraps her arm around Jake and tilts her head up. “I’ve heard of you, missy. Aren’t you the one who solved that one case in Dallas? The one with the celeb couple and the murder orgy?” Shay mouths to Jake, “The fucking what?” To which Jake shrugs and mouths back, “I don’t bloody know, mate!”
Red shakes her head. “Oh, dear, I would surely hope so! But unfortunately, you may be thinking of the Prince of England and his gruesome murder by those Insane Clown Posse enthusiasts. To which, I will maintain that there is simply not enough evidence to fully render them culpable.” Red accents this with a knowing wink at Blake, which both Shay and Jake giggle at.
“Mira, oye, el cadáver.” Leo snaps her fingers, bringing the party back into focus. “Lo que pasó es que nosotros recibimos una carta invitando a nosotros para comer. Venimos, y mira que pasa.” Leo points at the body. Red immediately strides over to the body, not caring about the blood that has latched onto her shoes. The rest sidle away from the table, watching in awe as Red takes out a pair of black gloves from her breast pocket, puts them on, and begins searching the body.
As Red does her work, Blake tilts her head. “How did she even get here? Where did she come from?” Bill rolls his eyes, “I ain’t even know. But for all that Texas talk, I reckon she ain’t even from there.” Shay side-eyes Bill, “Isn’t… dude. That sounds racist.” Jake tugs at Shay’s letterman before she can continue. “Don’t… poke the bear. If you know what I mean.” Shay whispers back, “He’s called me some fucked-up things before. I can handle him.” Jake pouts. “I know… but. Y’know.”
While the duo whisper amongst themselves, Leo turns to Blake, then turns to Red, then turns back to Blake, who looks at her a little confused. “She with you?” Leo wrinkles her nose and quickly shakes her head. Blake turns back to Red while addressing the small goalie, “Figured. Something’s up if she’s here. She’s one of the best detectives. A little rough around the edges, but we’re most likely gonna walk away with our killer in cuffs.”