I don't want to go home.

Lately the atmosphere at home has not been pleasant.

There was no arguing, no screaming, no sounds of things being thrown. None at all.

There is no conversation between Father and Mother.

I thought this was just a normal fight and they would forgive each other again after a few days. Just like Mother taught me. But I was wrong. This time there might be a storm in my family.

"I am home ...."

"Mother's beautiful daughter is home. Rest first, then mother will make dinner." Mother greeted my return with a smile. If people don't pay close attention to it, they won't see signs of fatigue on his face. But, I saw it.

Mother's beautiful face began to fade. I still remember that there were many people who still looked at my mother with faces attracted by her beauty.

Should I comfort my mother?

But how?

I don't know. No one ever told me how.

Mom and Dad only taught me fun activities. I grow every day with good things and positive thoughts. Maybe if you count only a few times I felt sad.

The first time was when I just entered a new school. There was a feeling of sadness coming over me.

I don't know how to act when sadness comes.

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I cried. But that's useless, my sadness is still there.

Then I cried again and again. Until my body gets tired and I fall asleep. But, the feeling of sadness is still there. What should I do to get rid of this feeling of sadness?

After a few days I found the answer. My sadness disappeared at dinner with my family. The dining atmosphere at that time was very warm and cheerful. Dad tells jokes and mom sometimes adds to them too.

My first sadness disappeared.

My life was always happy after that. I met good friends. They always play with me and we get along well. But then a sad incident happened...second come

The friends I liked didn't like me as much as I thought. They consider me not fun. Boring person.

Of course, I immediately asked them, that's what my mother taught me.

They let go of all their complaints. They think I'm the one who doesn't like hanging out with them. They think I don't like them. They think I'm forced to be friends and hang out with them. I don't understand why they can think like that.

I enjoy being friends with them, I like them, and I never feel forced to be friends with them. But they don't listen to me. They don't believe my words.

That was the first time I was abandoned. It hurts. I feel like no one understands me.

After that I closed myself. I'm scared. I don't want to feel that pain again.

I wanted to tell Mom about this, because Mom always emphasized telling her about my feelings. But, I can not.

I couldn't open my mouth.

What happened?

I want to tell my mother about this incident.

I want to share that.

I want mother to help me lift this feeling of sadness.

But why ...

Why ...

Nothing came out of my mouth.

No words came out of my mouth.

Not a word.

I can't tell these things to anyone.

I finally kept it to myself. I put this incident in a corner of my heart that I would never see again. But because I put it in my heart, I will always remember this pain.