I really didn’t have any appetite to eat anything right now. Everything was so messed up, completely different from my long awaited happy middle school reunion wish. But, I realized that I must still force myself to stay strong in this kind of critical situation, to prevent any more life stolen from us. I really don’t want to see another friend in the state of corpse again. I would do anything to protect my still existing friends, and of course, my very own life.
I don’t want to be killed like this. I don’t want to die clueless.
The twins suddenly suggested that we must shuffle the meal and drink from now on. To prevent another drugging incident? Or just playing? Nevertheless, nobody was so eager to argue with them anymore, except the rich daughter who insisted that she had to pick first. Whatever!
After the lifeless lunch, I regrouped with Elena and Chika. I wanted to help the latter to investigate more for the whole truth. I think she might be willing to share more of her thoughts and clues, just like what she had told me before about Kaede’s fake act, rather from than Kaigo and Ringo who only tended to keep the secrets between the two of them. As for Chika, she was only meaninglessly following her only left oneechan here.
Kaigo and Ringo went to discuss more about the murder cases in the drawing-room, aided by Ryouta and Megumi who were still somewhat restless by the existence of a gun. While its owner was just sitting far away by herself beside the window like the first time we came here. But, she wasn’t reading any book this time. Instead, she was just peering blankly onto the breezy sunny outside through the opened window. Maybe, she was also thinking about the whole cases or the other things, and had preferred to be alone again like most of her time. Though, she was also inside of the same room with the other 4 people, she didn’t seem to like to take part in their conference at all. Their worlds were so separated away.
The three of us had gone to the outside to breathe some fresh air. The atmosphere inside was too tense and rigid. At last, I felt a little more relaxed for the first time after all those horrible incidents. Actually, the setting right now is just like yesterday’s excited free activities, except for the absent of the other two. It still hurt in my inside when I think about their fate. But, I had countlessly committed to myself to just focus in the present time. I must pull myself together even if it really is very hard for me to pretended as though nothing had actually happened. I was beginning to admire Fionna’s expressionless nature by now.
Suddenly, Chika eagerly went ahead to pick up something unknown in front of us. After she had gone to a distance that shouldn’t be able to hear what I was going to talk about. I confessed to the only partner besides me.
“Why don’t you tell Chika-chan about what had happened to Kaede-chan? You had even lied to her when she asked if you know the meaning of what Fionna-chan had said earlier. She must have been very worried about her, you know? Even more than us because Kaede-chan is her sister. And she is … also assuming you as her sister who will always be supporting her. You should have known better than me. She is … a very fragile being, so easily shocked by those tragedies since last night, but still tried to stay strong for not to be worried by us more than anything else. Just because you had told me about Kaede-chan’s disguised purpose alone, I am feeling … I am feeling … extremely guilty for her right now.”
Elena’s expression was still as placid as though I hadn’t said anything so persuasive and emotional. She must have thought of that already.
“I am very sorry for her too. But, … not now. If I were to tell Chika-chan at this moment, then, why didn’t I just tell everybody else? The purpose of protecting Kaede-chan secretly by locking her up in the sturdy basement room will all be wasted. She will be freed at once if our reasoning were to be announced. Not even to mention about the other potential problem like it doesn’t seem that all of us will so proudly agree with the release. For example, Megumi-chan who had falsely accused her in the first place. Before we know the reason behind Kaede-chan’s strange behaviors for not defending herself against the wrong charge, we shouldn’t tell anyone about this. And instead, now we must take this advantage of Kaede-chan being safe there temporarily, and go to investigate for her.”
I was reluctant.
“You are right, … actually. But still, … why did you tell me?”
The black-haired detective told me an unreasonable information.
“At the very least, I know. … I know that you aren’t the murderer of those homicides, … with certainty.”
I also know that I myself am not the murderer. But, I also realize that to make the others believe in me in this kind of dubious situation, requires solid prove.
“Um …, why?”
The young woman answered with confidence without any concrete evidence again while still looking at one of the flower bed beside her.
“I just have the reason to judge like that. And, as I had said that you aren’t the murderer, so do the twins, Kaigo and Ringo. And of course, that includes me as well.”
“What do you mean? You are speaking without any supporting proof. You really aren’t being yourself now and … before this. And the twins were acting so nonsensically. And what Fionna-chan had said previously was so ….”
Elena was already shaking her head forcefully before I finished, then, looking at me.
“I am still being myself, and in a very clear mind. I also don’t understand at all what she was talking about. But actually, I have my own good proof as the basis for thinking like that, and I am only saying the result for you alone, because I know you are not guilty. If you still want to help me find the murderer or their partner out, then, there really are only five living suspects left to be considered, by not excluding Kaede-chan, and Ryouta-kun who claimed to have been attacked by someone, yet.”
I answered without thinking first.
“Even I am still not very clear about your meaning of having the proof of me, the twins, and yourself for not being the murderer. But, I will trust in you, and just focus … at the other five persons.”
I realized something too unexpected way too late.
“But wait, does that mean you also suspect in Chika-chan? She is your own delicate little sister.”
Elena looked as though not even concerned anymore.
“I could do nothing about it. I still have no proof to clear her out of the suspicions, even if I wanted.”
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I was the one who was getting a little agitated now.
“Then why couldn’t you just look for another proof for her, like me!?”
But it was not long before I realized just how pathetic I was.
“… Sorry, I am just ….”
The woman was silent for a moment before she looked up to the bright sun. The soothing wind was flowing her black and shining long hair smoothly. She said the rest in a cold manner while just nonchalantly covering her eyes from the hot weather with her small white right hand.
“Please do wake up, Yoru. All of us here already … aren’t the same us whom we had known before, aren’t as innocent and simple minded as back then in the middle school period. We are beginning to become adults, and many things might have changed us here. The transition time really have so much impact on us, and we don’t even know what had happened to the others after all of us were separated to our own chosen road of life. Their mind might had been distorted by some unknown influence factors since then. Everyone has their own problems. Physically, they might have changed very much, but we would still be able to recognize them. But, if the changes are developed inside, we wouldn’t be able to ever realize that before it is too late. They might even have kept some dire secrets that definitely couldn’t be let known to the others, even to their closest friend either. And I myself must admit some of those facts too.”
I tried to understand that growing period is to search for our truest goal in life and identity in this social world. It really is the most floating part of our life. Actually, I do understand Elena’s meaning very well. But I just … don’t want to admit that it had happened negatively to my childhood friends too. I don’t want to think that I am still living in my own private world made entirely from those time’s happy memories that should have already long passed, either. I really don’t want to lose all of those ex-middle school playing partner’s still innocent mind images. I wanted them to stay the same, that is why … I tried my best to stay the same.
I gave out a really pathetic fake smile.
“Yeah, I … I know.”
She is indeed … right. Everyone might have changed so much tough they are still looking as friendly as 6 years ago. There are so many things to be considered of, to be thought of, to be accepted of. More importantly, there are so many things as well that had happened since the first day we came here that I still haven’t understand. I couldn’t bear to get confused in this critical time if I really am intended to find out the real identity of the murderer who had caused all these messes for us in our reunion.
For now, I will just need to focus on trusting in Elena’s granted information which had underlined that the murderer or their partner is among those five remaining living friends. No, if it really is one of them is one themselves, then, he or she isn’t our friend anymore. But, an enemy. To say it for revenge? Maybe it is true. I couldn’t deny that I was feeling extremely angry and hateful right now that I wanted to kill them myself for the sake of my murdered friends, and the pain they had brought to us. It is them who had started the killings first, so if I were to kill them later, it is only natural, right? That is the law! I will get it back ten times … hundred times from them!!
As though the woman beside me could read inside my current wicked mind, she spoke out.
“Yoru, please …, don’t let hatred conceal your sincerest heart.”
I was totally taken aback by her short but downright advice. Finally, I, too, realized that I had really been consumed by devilish rage in those few moments. It is a shame really. I had never been like that before. Of course, mainly because I hadn’t experienced those crazy murders in front of me. I am a person who don’t like to argue with anyone. I usually let the others win as long as they are happy and satisfied. But now, even for a second only, I had really changed totally, to an entirely different person that even I myself couldn’t recognize. I never wished to change into that resentful personality ever, no matter what happened. This young woman really just did barely save me from falling into that hell of hatred forever. I must try my best to stay as calm as possible to still be able to judge logically … for the sake of the truth.
“Yes, thank you, Elena.”
She smiled warmly to me.
I myself also don’t understand why I am willing to believe in Elena so much without any question when she said that everyone might have changed since then. What if she had also changed as well? It is only natural for me to think of the other way around, right? I must admit that I still had the thought of believing that all of my friends are innocent, and wouldn’t have betrayed us. Yet, I also don’t disagree at the fact that they might have not been the same already. Such contradiction really is a part of life. Am I the only one innocent here?
Though I don’t want to be unfair to the other friends. But, my gang members especially Elena alone would be the last one I have believed to ever lie to me. I am not paying back for her baseless trust in me. She is just the one that I had already known better than anyone else. She is a very understanding and sensitive woman. Though sometimes she might seem a little too harsh, but it was just because she is worried about us. Like she just almost had a dispute with Fionna earlier, it was just because of me. She had even let herself to be detested by us when she was disguising to protect Kaede in dark. She is also the one who had always been secretly supporting me during those hard times in middle school. And now, giving those important clues out, while reminding me for not going too sentimental in reasoning, to still consider everyone as an equal suspect for the crimes.
Yet, she still couldn’t tell me the reason behind why she believed so much in me and the twins for not being the murderer. Maybe, there is a reason for her to stay in confidential. What is that!? But most earnestly, I sensed no lie in the whole of her. This is my last believe in this already unrecoverable rotten distrusting reunion.
We walked together toward the Lolita who was still kneeling on the grass in front of a flowerbed. She was arranging some flowers into three circle bouquets. The results were very magnificent and fully elaborated. She was very skilled in organizing those. She just barely finished when we arrived at her location, and she showed us one of them understandingly.
“Look, Ele-nee. These are for our … died friends.”
Elena and I were utterly taken aback by that still innocent thought in this kind of despairing situation that we were indeed facing together right now. I was already readying myself to be thinking neutral from now on, yet once again couldn’t bear to suspect this guiltless young woman. She was still even more concerned about the death of Kazuki and the others rather than her own safety.
By making those three big flower bouquets equally impartial could only mean one thing. She already holds no grudges against Takuma and Ken whom had always been bullying her and her best friend so severely back in middle school, though I doubt she ever had that kind of ill thought from the first place. She had already forgiven them from long ago. She even tried to forget and talk with them normally, though the two of them still tried to harass her yesterday. It really is just too inhuman for having such good innocent girl added into our suspects list. Could I just suspect at the other 4 persons though it is already too hard for me? Could I really pass through this painful ordeal?
Elena bended over with her hands on her knees to be able to speak with her little sister at the same height.
“I am so sorry Chika-chan, for what had happened to Kaede-chan,”
Chika just smiled and shook her head twice.
“Um, um, you were only doing that for the sake of Kae-nee too, Ele-nee.”
This little girl is just too understanding that made us felt even guiltier. Elena just smiled back forcefully, but still trying to look as soothingly as possible as she patted her little sister’s head for her good work. She was also in pain for suspecting at Chika. She must have tried very hard in searching for the latter’s guiltless proof already, though still couldn’t find any up until now. And by now, I was also already not so sure that the detective could still be fully reasoning based on her logical thought after all of these touching occurrences.
“Thank you, Chika-chan. They would be … very grateful for you.”