Chapter Forty-Three

“You need to be careful.” Speranzi said while looking down at the young elf. “Hold on to these.” She added and tapped the wooden pole that was sticking up beside her. She had one hand on it, and when Ahmorantha looked around, he saw that everybody else was holding on to one as well.

While the boat was crowded, other than Skana and Corwin, there was at least three paces between Speranzi and the other passengers. He looked up and saw her eyes falling on him like a sudden snowstorm, the blue irises seemed to pulse like pupils in reverse, almost shaking like a door being pounded upon by someone trying to get in, or to get out.

“Are you alright… child?” She asked, and his mouth ran dry as he tried to form words.

“Forgive me!” He eeped out, and struggled to scramble his body backward, it was only the fat, soft fingers of the merchant who’d bought him, coming out to take him by the shoulder again that let him steady himself. Ahmorantha felt his eyes well up with tears. “I didn’t mean to hit you, I-I swear it! I swear!” The woman with the high cheekbones and set jaw, said only…

“Obviously. It was an accident, nothing more. Just be careful.” Speranzi then turned her back to him, and the fear that grasped his child’s heart of the hateful looking stranger molded itself into confusion. ‘Ugh, maybe I could at least ‘try’ to be a little friendlier. And for now, give him a little distance.’ She confirmed for herself and moved away to give the boy space as the barge stabilized.

Above him, Corwin said quietly, “She can actually be very nice. Don’t worry, you’ll get used to her.”

Ahmorantha clenched his jaw, ‘At the inn that would have earned me a caning up and down my legs and I wouldn’t be sleeping on my back for a month, is she… really not going to do anything to me? Is he not?’ Corwin’s words sounded almost sad to even Ahmorantha’s mutilated ears.

Like it was something he had said often and was tired of repeating it. The other crowd of passengers was looking at him differently, with a mix of cruel anticipation, the usual sneers of the smug, eagerly anticipating the pain of someone weaker for their entertainment… or indifference, as if such things were just background, or less commonly, pity, like they knew what was going to happen.

‘I suppose they can’t do much on the barge, at least not until there’s more space than this.’ He thought, and began to take long, deep breaths. ‘Just prepare yourself. They won’t kill you, and you just have to be careful next time.’

The other elven prisoners, being counted as cargo, had the advantage of remaining ‘on’ the wagons at the back of the barge after boarding, and looked at the brief chaos with their own silent stoicism, their faces turned to wooden masks of passivity.

All Ahmorantha could do was stand there and wait.

For what? His experience taught him… nothing good.

Skana found herself enjoying the bobbing up and down of the barge and ventured toward the forward edge, the river seemed to stretch on forever, slowing as it widened and the world expanded, she stood at the far end of the barge to watch the rolling river and listen to its steady babble. ‘I’ve always heard this thing was big, but I didn’t know there was this much water in the whole world.’ She thought and rested her hands on the loose chain around the edge.

Down below, small fishes swam beside ones that were easily wider and longer than the barge itself. ‘How did they get from the narrow end to this one?’ She wondered. ‘Are they monsters capable of using magic? Or could there be some big underground cavern they can swim through?’ The mystery would likely never be resolved, at least not for her.

But it made the auburn-haired former brigand curious. Compared to the little tributary of a tributary that was the creek and river from her former village, this was a veritable ocean. But then… ‘According to Corwin, even this river is just one thing that feeds into water that surrounds the whole world.’ To imagine something like that, in Skana’s mind, was to long to see it for herself. ‘I can still hardly believe the world is this big…’ The thought was both thrilling and terrifying at once. Demihumans lived to the north of her country, dark elves and dwarves beyond that, the Divine Kingdom well to the east, and south of them lay the elves, beyond that? She tried to recall, briefly closing her eyes to try to remember the scant stories she heard from wandering bards about the mighty empire of Auxkos…

Her body swayed back and forth, rocking with the loose chain that acted as a minor safety barrier for passengers or goods that came loose from their security.

‘I could travel the whole world and still not know every people, even if I had nothing else to do but that…’ She thought and let out a snort, it just made war seem all the more foolish in her mind. ‘There should be room enough for everybody in a world this big…’

And as she thought of that, and the sun began to warm the world and caress her skin, she tried to imagine the life she sought, and where, in whatever strange fashion it might, she hoped her trip on the barge might lead. ‘A cottage somewhere, it doesn’t have to be big, but something on the water. Someone… that one, only her… to wake up with, and some music playing outside. A harvest festival, a place to dance… is that so much to ask?’ Skana wondered, and one hand left the chain to press against the now healed place where Speranzi’s arrow struck her before.

‘Even if she let me live… gave me a chance in her company, let me walk at her side? Could a noble ever be satisfied with that life? With me?’ She wondered, and recalled the feel of her sword piercing body after body while she learned and struggled to stay alive in the aftermath of the war against the Demon God, Axadam.

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The memory of her ‘test’ was still fresh in her mind, ‘She really would have killed me, I’m sure of it… if they’d not voted in my favor, I would have died there.’ Thinking of all that put a crimp in her enjoyment of the feel of the rocking boat beneath the sun’s glow, and it was more than enough to give her heart pause.

At the very least she had one clear conclusion, ‘Don’t tell her it’s anything more than admiration. Even if she believed it, she’d never go that far. You’re at her side, you overeager idiot, let that be enough.’ And with that, she buried her desires deeper than the riverbed that was so far down she couldn’t see even a hint of it no matter how hard she stared.

“Be careful you don’t fall over the side.”

Skana whipped her head around to see Speranzi at her back, caught off guard by her commander’s words, she flushed red in the face for a moment and said nothing. There was a smile on Speranzi’s face, or… rather an attempt at one.

‘Was that a joke?’ Skana tried to determine, and then, ‘No, no way.’ She reasoned and shook her head. “No, no ma’am, that won’t be a problem.” Skana confirmed and straightened up. “I’ve always had good balance.” She promised, and what might have been a smile, left Speranzi’s face.

‘So much for appearing friendlier.’ Speranzi thought and gave up the attempt at a smile, ‘Maybe I’m just godawful at jokes?’ That wouldn’t have been a surprise, and for a lengthy moment there was an awkward silence.

“Have you… ever seen anything like this?” Speranzi asked and approached to stand beside Skana at the chain barrier.

“No Ma’am… ah… Speranzi.” Skana answered, finding her tongue properly again, she faced the distant horizon again. “It is beautiful though, isn’t it?”

“It is. It really is. I’ve never been on it before though, at least not here. Since Axadam nearly dragged us all into his personal notion of Hell, I’ve been all over Qadish and as far away as the Auxkos Empire, but my favorite places have always been ones like this.” Speranzi rested her hands on the chain and leaned forward, her fingers closing into a fist and one foot crossing in front of the other.

“Because it reminds you of home?” Skana asked.

“No.” Speranzi spat into the water. “The opposite, because a place like this is as different from my former home as possible. Nothing to give me any unpleasant reminders. A lot of my soldiers are like that. Not all, but a lot. And I’m one of those that thinks that way.” She replied without any obvious regret, but still, Skana sensed from the long stare into the distance that she should tread with care.

“But, m- Speranzi, you’re a noble woman, don’t you have to head home sooner or later?” Skana prodded, and Speranzi only shrugged.

“It’s true I’m of the Jadara line, but I don’t feel any connection toward any of it. Not the land, not the people there, not the house of my father and mother. I don’t ever plan on going back.” She looked side-eye at Skana, appraising the woman briefly. “You don’t approve?”

“It’s not for a peasant to make a judgment like that. But my home?” Skana sucked in a breath, “It’s dead, everything and every one. If they were still living and things had gone differently? I’d still be there now. It wasn’t a bad place to live. I used to take crops to town to sell, there was a fortress near the wall holding back the demihumans, I would go there every year. I would sell crops, and dance, and have fun. Then it was back home where my family was, our little farm… it was my whole life.” She looked down into the water at her reflection and mimicked Speranzi’s stance. “I wish it were still there.”

“You’re luckier than I, then. The only thing worse than having no family was having mine. The only thing worse than having no home was having mine. Axadam did a favor to me, burning down the estate, even if doing me a favor wasn’t exactly his motivation.” Speranzi answered in return, a little wistful, her words were barely loud enough to be heard.

“Oh, so your father, he was one of… those.” Skana guessed, and stretched out her hand to touch Speranzi’s shoulder.

Speranzi cocked her head at the attempted comforting touch, she had to think for a moment about what Skana meant, and when she did, she violently shook her head. “No.” She answered and set her jaw tight for a moment. “No. Whatever kind of bastard he was, he wasn’t that kind. He never saw me that way. Quite the opposite. As soon as it became obvious I couldn’t be a proper lady, and I would never have the beauty needed to snare a good husband, I became a useless burden. The only one worth a damn there was the priest. Everyone else, I was just the expensive burden.” Speranzi huffed, ‘That boy is why you’re so talkative all of a sudden. Get over yourself.’ Speranzi remonstrated herself and shifted the subject.

“Why’d you really speak up for those elves before? They’d have killed you, you know. Elves are evil creatures, mostly anyway.” Speranzi said, and Skana’s hand fell away from where it touched her leader’s arm.

“By your reckoning, who isn’t?” Skana asked. “Besides, they’re just trying to get home, stealing food isn’t nearly as big a crime as starving somebody.”

“So you don’t think they did anything wrong? You buy their story?” Speranzi asked, and Skana could feel the doubt coming out of the woman at her side.

“I don’t know. But I know nobody gets up and goes somewhere else unless there’s nothing for them where they are, especially with young ones. You saw that boy, whatever his name is. He’s terrified, what could terrify him that much when we’re all at ease and comfortable?” Skana asked, and Speranzi frowned deeply.

That was an uncomfortable question. Her fingers squeezed tighter around the iron chain. It was a fair point.

“A center of piety like that, it can’t be a bad place. It can’t be.” Speranzi insisted, and to her surprise, Skana became utterly relaxed and rested her arm on the pole to which the chain was secured. She leaned against it and said…

“Alright, you’re so sure, make a wager.” The former brigand’s eyes lit up when Speranzi didn’t refuse.

“What did you have in mind?” Speranzi prompted. “I’ve never gambled before.”

“Never?” Skana asked, her mouth briefly dropping open in utter disbelief.

“That requires company.” Speranzi said matter of factly, prompting Skana’s mouth to snap shut.

After a half a second’s hesitation, Skana rolled on as if she hadn’t just heard what she had. “I’ve never been there, but Corwin seems to think you won’t like it, you’re a paladin, right? So you can’t break a geas, that’s true, isn’t it?”

“It is.” Speranzi replied, her eyes narrowed at the casual looking woman.

“So impose a geas on yourself against violence for the duration of our stay there. And if you break it, you have to do one thing I say. If you don’t, I don’t know… I’ll return to the faith in the divines. My soul is yours to give to any god you wish.” Skana made her smile friendly and open, even ‘inviting’ but Speranzi’s furrowed brow did not relax itself.

“Breaking a geas would mean abrogating my entire faith, you want me to do that… over a bet? A bet for your soul, no less?” Speranzi wasn’t sure to be impressed or affronted, and there was a long enough silence between them that the boat rocked three times up and down before Skana answered matter-of-factly…

“Yes.”

“Alright, then. You have a bargain.” Speranzi said and closed her eyes to summon her body’s mana to impose a geas against herself.