They were well on the road when Skana saw that her commander was simply standing there, waiting for the wagons to roll past. When Speranzi met her eyes, Skana gave a bright, even joyful smile at her commander, hopped up to her feet, put her foot on the top of the wagon wall and jumped off to land with a light splash into the mud.
It spattered and struck the dark armor of Speranzi, the spatter bringing an immediate wide eyed look to Skana’s green eyes. “Oh! I-I’m sorry, Ma’am! I-”
Speranzi waved one hand in a dismissive fashion, “It’s wet dirt, I don’t care.” She answered, shutting down the apology. “What I do want to know is how you did that.”
It was not a request, and Skana knew it. Seconds ticked past while she thought, the wagons marking the drifting moments as they rolled past and curious horsemen turned their eyes toward the pair, plodding forward at a leisurely pace. The sunlight was thinly cast in beams of gray that pushed through silver clouds that promised another rain was chasing the caravan. The straw gold and and fall auburn hair blew lightly in the breeze, with Skana’s hair drifting toward Speranzi’s and Speranzi’s away from Skana’s.
It wasn’t until there was no one to look at them that Skana found the words to answer.
“Promise me you won’t kill me?” She asked.
“No.” Speranzi replied and snapped her jaw shut.
Skana felt the air go out of her lungs and had to take another deep breath to speak, “I lived with reavers so I could study the sword. What would they do if they found out I was a woman?” She didn’t wait for an answer, she just barrelled ahead, “So I bound my breasts tight with cloth and wore armor and my helmet as much as possible, and I moved between smaller gangs until Bodger started taking over. But I still ran into problems.”
“Let me guess. The same problem that got Bodger caught and killed?” Speranzi surmised.
Skana didn’t deny it, “Right, I got caught with my pants down once or twice. Or more. Or it wouldn’t even matter to some if they thought I was a boy. For a few that seemed to be a preference.” She crinkled her nose up and admitted, “So sometimes I had to kill someone to keep them quiet. Sometimes… sometimes I had to frame someone or hide the fact that I’d used a weapon of someone else. I noticed things, I got pretty good at it. And when you murder someone in the dark… you learn what it’s like to fear getting caught. It’s worse than any raid. Just you, and shadows, and every noise whether yours or not threatening to be the wrong person at the wrong place at the wrong time to throw it all to ruin.”
Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.
Skana finally crossed her arms in front of her chest. “So there you have it, I’m a murderer and a bandit and I killed my own side to save my own skin. That’s how I realized it just wasn’t likely that scrawny bastard had the guts to murder someone that way, and that’s how I figured out he didn’t do it. Because I did it.”
She closed her eyes and waited for the arrow to find her body. It was surprisingly easy to think about. The Captain of the Black Quiver company had a reputation for discipline and, in her own brutal way, justice. It would be a clean death. ‘Cleaner than I expected, if I think about it.’ Skana thought and brought a hand up to run through her hair, ‘I still kind of miss it being long.’ Perhaps it was a strange ‘final thought’ to have, a bit of vanity was pointless at the moment, but it was enough to bring a smile to her face while she waited for the arrow.
But there was no blinking out.
No loss of consciousness.
No feeling of pain.
The arrow did not strike.
Skana opened her eyes. “I thought you were about to fall asleep on your feet there for a moment.” Speranzi remarked, she was putting an arrow back in her quiver while she spoke, and Skana struggled for words.
“You’re not going to…?” She trailed off.
“At the end of the day, you killed to protect yourself. You don’t have to tell me what they’d have done if you hadn’t. Reavers like that are not even human anymore.” Speranzi replied while she put her bow back over her shoulder. “Now come on, they’re slow, but not so slow we can stand here all day.”
Yes, My Lady. But can I ask,” Skana felt half mad, crazed to even press her luck, but it wasn’t something she could resist, “why didn’t you let the village execute the priest?”
The ground was soft and squelching under their feet as they walked back to the string of wagons, cool even through their thick boots. Speranzi exhaled a hot breath close to her newest member, “Because they wouldn’t have. He’d have talked them out of it, or convinced them that outsiders like us did it. Now he won’t convince anybody of anything.” Speranzi’s hand clenched into a fist, her knuckles cracked with the tension though her face never wavered from the calm expression.
The silence hung between them until they caught up with the wagons and Speranzi added, “You did good work back there. Very good work. I was right to spare you. Now get back in there and ride, we’ll put a horse under you at the next city.” She pointed up to the rear wagon, and Skana made ready to jump back in, but she felt the need to ask one more thing.
“My Lady… can I ask why you don’t have a horse?” Skana scratched her head, “You can afford it, obviously.”
“I can afford it. But there isn’t an animal or even a monster I’ve ever met, not dog or cat or wolf or horse or bleeding chimera, that will let me come within ten paces of them, with an intent to touch, let alone ride them.” Speranzi waved the matter away with a defeated laugh, “Now go on, and enjoy the easy part of your job while you’ve got it.”
And with that, Skana watched her commander take long strides to carry herself back up to the front of the line.