Alqa woke up with Qotoiyan asleep next to her. She watched him sleep, she wanted so desperately to be happy, she was going to have a family again. But she felt as though she had lost even more of her family. No matter how hard she tried, she could not bring herself to feel any sort of joy. “Alqa. Are you awake?” Buqutai asked.
Alqa jolted, she hadn’t been expecting anybody to speak. “Yes, you may enter,” Buqutai entered and immediately Alqa watched his face shift to anger from whatever it had been before.
“Baatar is dead! He died looking for you! And you were in your yurt with a male!”
“I was not here when he died! I was with him! I only came here because Nergui was killed and my ankle is hurt!”
“But you are still here with a male!”
“So?”
“Do you even know him?”
“Of course she knows me,” Qotoiyan said, Alqa hadn’t even noticed him wake up. She assumed it had been the shouting that had woken him up.
“And who are you?”
“My name is Qotoiyanii Qutuqäz, son of Begterii Qutuqäz. What is your name?”
“I am Buqutaiii Qutuqäz Riidagak, son of Kiingisii Qutuqäz and Alijiaaniia Qutuqäsa,”
“Nice to meet you Buqutai. Alqa had quite a bad day yesterday. I think we would both appreciate it if you didn’t blame Baatar’s death on her. Especially, since it was not her fault,” Qotoiyan said, trying to sound as diplomatic as possible. But Alqa could hear hints of anger in his voice. Buqutai nodded and left.
“Good morning Alqa,” Qotoiyan said, turning to face her.
“Good morning,”
“Is there anything that you want help with?”
“Can you help me stand up?” Alqa asked and Qotoiyan nodded, he stood up and lifted her, letting her balance on him while she picked up the walking sticks. He held the flap as she left. “I hate making you do things for me,”
“It’s fine. What do you want to do?”
“I want to go to the grave trench,”
“Alright,” Qotoiyan said. It wasn’t hard to find, though it did take them a fair bit of walking before they found it. Already tall piles of dirt and looted bodies lined the whole trench, some warriors were taking the bodies into the trench and some were taking bodies to the pile. Suddenly Yid found them.
“Alqa! I managed to save Nergui’s war-regalia and Baatar’s gear!” She exclaimed, pointing at a cart, with her horse Maa hitched up to it. Sure enough, if held Nergui’s war-regalia and Baatar’s weapons. “I’ll help you put this stuff in your yurt,”
“We’ll take you,”
“Actually. Alqa, is it ok if I go and get loot?” Qotoiyan asked.
“Yes, you’ve earned it. I’ll be fine with Yid,” Alqa said. She led Yid and Maa back to her yurt.
“Alqa. Are you alright?”
“Please, slow down Yid. I am not in any mood to deal with this right now,”
“Alqa. Are. You. Alright?”
“No. I’m not. You don’t seem to be too affected by your brother’s death,”
“I. Dunno. I’m. Very. Upset. Maybe. I’m. Better. At. Hiding. It,” Yid said. They finally arrived and Alqa instructed Yid to take the war-regalia inside. When Yid finished she approached Alqa.
“Go find something else to do,” Alqa said and turned around and went to find Qotoiyan, very slowly.
She was just over halfway back to the trench when she saw Taben. He saw her too and approached her. “Hey. Alqa. I–. I don’t know where Qotoiyan is. To be honest, I’m not sure if he survived,”
“He’s fine. He’s off looting,”
“Oh. That’s good. Hey Alqa. What was the deal between you and Qotoiyan?”
“Oh, that. Let’s wait for Qotoiyan’s presence to talk about that,” Alqa said. She had never told Baatar. Or Nergui. Why had she never told Nergui?
“Are you alright? You look upset,”
“Baatar and Nergui died,”
“Oh. Alqa I’m sorry. Narantui wanted to make sure you were alright though,”
“I guess I could go with you to visit her,” Alqa said. Taben led her to Narantui’s yurt and they stopped just outside.
“Hey, get. It’s me and Alqa, may we enter?”
“Go get Qotoiyan, aagt,”
“You can wait here or come with me,” Taben said.
“I’ll wait here,” Alqa said, sitting down. Taben left. It was a long while before he returned with Qotoiyan. Alqa smiled at Qotoiyan and he helped her stand up.
“Now may we enter? We have Qotoiyan,” Taben said.
“Yes,” Narantui responded. Taben held the flap open for them and Qotoiyan entered first, followed by Alqa and Taben came in last. “Alqa. What happened?”
“Nergui died. My best guess is that I hurt my foot when I fell,”
“Well at least she didn’t fall on it,” Narantui said, glancing at her own leg, wrapped in bandages and covered with a cast of sticks to keep it straight.
Alqa looked at Qotoiyan, she wanted to tell them, but suddenly the prospect felt scary. Qotoiyan sighed, he looked at Taben, then to Narantui and then to Alqa. She nodded. “So. Taben, you still want to know about the deal Alqa and I made?” he asked.
“Yes,”
“Ooh. I want to know too,” Narantui said. Qotoiyan looked at Alqa again.
“We are going to mate. Officially,”
“Hah! Narantui! Even Qotoiyan beat you!” Taben exclaimed.
“Congratulations. You two definitely earned that. I think this is a good decision. Taben. Mock me later,”
“Oh come on. Not like I’m mocking you in front of a stranger,”
“I don’t care. Mock me later,”
“Fine. That is great though. I do think Qotoiyan actually found somebody who is actually a good match,”
“When’s it happening,”
“We don’t know. Although I would prefer waiting until my ankle heals,”
“Alright. Alqa, you haven’t gotten any looting done yet have you?” Narantui asked.
“No,”
“You should go, I’ll be here,” Narantui said. Alqa waved goodbye and she and Qotoiyan left the yurt. They hadn’t gotten far when Alqa turned towards the loot distribution area.
“Hey. Alqa. Can we go to my yurt for a moment before we go over there?”
“Why?”
“Can it be a surprise?”
“Well the last surprise visit to your yurt went well, so why not?” Alqa said. Qotoiyan laughed and led her to his yurt. When they got there he stopped her outside.
“Do you trust me?”
“Yes, of course,”
“Then close your eyes. Don’t peek and do what I tell you. I’ll hold on to you,” he said. Alqa nodded and closed her eyes. He took her inside, she felt like she would fall every time she moved. Finally they stopped. “Sit down and hold out your hands.” she did as she was told, she felt him release her and she waited for a short moment before she felt his presence in front of her. Suddenly he placed something smooth and round, not much heavier than her sword, in her hands. “You can open your eyes,” he said. She opened her eyes. She saw the helmet, it was beautiful. Slightly egg shaped, with six strips of leather, reinforced with bronze, to protect the back and sides of her neck. Atop the helmet, sat a small bronze piece that held a beautiful horsehair crest, dyed dark purple, even though the dye was clearly a little faded. Resting right above her ears were decorations that looked like stubby wings to Alqa, but they stayed fairly close to the helmet and didn’t seem that easy to grab.
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Upon closer inspection, Alqa could see signs of minor battle damage that had been repaired and the leather looked a whole lot newer than the helmet. It had a small chinstrap that would have been tied under the chin and simple leather and felt padding inside, which would hold the top of the helmet away from her head. “Try putting it on,” Qotoiyan said, and so she did, tying the chinstrap under her chin. The suspension didn’t quite fit but she still looked at Qotoiyan.
“How do I look?”
“Beautiful,”
“Thank you. But how does the helmet look?”
“I’ll need to adjust the suspension,” he said. Alqa took off the helmet and handed it to him. He started playing with the suspension and shortly handed it back to her. She put it on again but it still wasn’t quite right. They repeated the process a few times before he finally got it to a setting that she liked.
“Thank you Qotoiyan,” she said, taking it off and handing it back to him.
“No that’s yours,” he said, pushing it back to her.
“But isn’t this my gift for the ceremony?”
“No. I have something else in mind for that,”
“Oh. Well then I guess I’ll have to get you a gift,” Alqa laughed.
“Do you want to go get your loot now?”
“Yeah, how much has Tuva Khan granted to nobodies like me?”
“I’m not sure,”
“You’re too important?”
“Something like that I guess,” Qotoiyan laughed. She left the helmet in her yurt and he led her to an area somewhere near the trench, but not too close. The whole area reeked of death and Alqa gagged as they got closer. She saw piles of bodies. With some warriors carrying them off one by one to be placed in the trench. There were a bunch of Ärchgekui standing around, but many were admitting people past to go loot. They got in line. Behind the Ärchgekui, Alqa saw piles of helmets, armors, weapons and to the side, a decently large herd of horses.
It took seemingly forever to reach the front of the line and when they did, Alqa was face to face, figuratively because he was taller than her, with a very tired and bored looking Ärchgekui. “Formal full name and rank?”
“Alqaiia Qutuqäsa, daughter of Tarmaagii Qutuqäz and Bortuiia Qutuqäsa. Q’niilii,”
“You are permitted three items. Any item. And you?”
“Oh, I’ve already looted. I’m just helping her carry stuff,” Qotoiyan said.
“Alright. Enter,” They went past, and the scale of the operation hit Alqa. It was massive. Helmets, any armor you could want, swords, bows, axes, spears, hooked spears, even shields. There were personal items, and finally, horses.
“What do you want to look at first?”
“I don’t know,”
“Well. Let’s go over what you need,”
“Alright,”
“You have a helmet, you have a bow, you have arrows, you have a sword,”
“I have war-regalia and a saddle as well,”
“So all that leaves is armor and a horse, or another bow. Or whatever else you want,” Qotoiyan said.
“So, does Narantui get to loot?”
“No, she didn’t participate,”
“You should go get her,”
“But she can’t loot,”
“But she should pick out the horse I get for her,”
“I’ll get her,” Qotoiyan said. He left and she started to wander around. She knew he wanted her to have armor, so she first went over to the cuirasses. She was looking at them, but something seemed like she shouldn’t get one. It took her a while to figure out what it was, if she was gonna mate with him, she shouldn’t get hard armor that she wouldn’t be able to wear. She left the cuirasses and went to the orqhu pile. She couldn’t really pick any up because she had to use her hands to stand. So she went back to where Qotoiyan had left her and waited. It was a while before he and Narantui got there, Narantui walking with the same type of walking sticks as Alqa.
“Hi Alqa,”
“Hi Narantui,” Alqa said. The three of them walked over to the horses. Alqa and Narantui looked at the horses. Narantui chose a young looking dun stallion. Alqa looked at many horses, but one caught her eye. A young cremello mare.
“Hey,” Alqa said, inviting the mare to approach. She did. Alqa reached out to scratch the mare’s neck as Qotoiyan helped stabilize her. “Do you want to go with me?” Alqa asked. The mare sputtered and pressed her head closer to Alqa’s face. Alqa began scratching her head, slowly and tentatively at first, but once she knew the mare liked it, she was less cautious about it. “Do you like the name Bege?” she asked. The mare nuzzled closer to Alqa and Qotoiyan laughed.
“I think she likes you,”
“And the name,” Narantui said. Alqa retracted her hand and stabilized herself as Qotoiyan took Bege and Yelten, the dun stallion, with them.
“What else do you want to look at?” Qotoiyan asked.
“What about the orqhu?” Alqa said.
“Alright,” Qotoiyan said and the five of them went over to the orqhu pile. Qotoiyan picked up a few and let Alqa look at them and try a few on. She eventually settled on a round, bronze orqhu, decorated with an angular pattern on the edges and a sun in the middle. They took everything with them and left, first they dropped Narantui off at Narantui’s yurt, and Yelten off with the rest of the horses of the Yisra of Begter. Qotoiyan took Bege to the horse pens, and Alqa to her own yurt. They went inside and Alqa sat down, Qotoiyan sat across from her. Alqa reached up and felt her necklace. Shouldn’t she tell Qotoiyan what she did? Should she revoke her gift? Could she do that? If she did that, she’d have to give back the necklace though.
Qotoiyan watched her and it dawned on her that he could tell she was thinking really hard about something. As though he could read her mind, “What are you thinking about?”
“If I tell you. Promise not to be angry,”
“Yeah. I promise Alqa,”
“Alright. I waited too long to give Baatar a gift,”
“Why would I be angry about that Alqa?”
“Because of the gift I did give him. Right before he died,”
“Oh. Alqa. You don’t belong to me. I can’t stop you from doing things like that. It’s your choice,”
“So you’re really not angry?”
“No. Besides, he loved you, I think that was probably the best gift you could have given him,”
“Wait. How did you know?”
“Bes iyi yaamgii. I wasn’t supposed to mention that I knew to you,”
“He told you?”
“No. He just did a bes job of hiding it. I assumed it was a secret. How did you know?” Qotoiyan said.
“He told me,”
“Oh, interesting. What did you say?”
“I said I was sorry for punching him,” Alqa said, being completely serious, but Qotoiyan burst out laughing anyway.
“You actually punched him when he said that?”
“No. I punched him when he insulted you. They just happened to be in the same sentence,”
“I’m not even gonna ask,” Qotoiyan said.
“Hey, can I ask you a question?”
“You just did. But go ahead,”
“How do you figure everything out? Like you put everything together,” Alqa asked.
“My mother taught me to look for subtle hints in peoples’ actions, tone and habits,”
“Will I get to meet her?”
“I can invite her. Hopefully she will be up for the journey. If not, we can make other plans,” Qotoiyan said.
Alqa smiled. She wanted to find Baatar and Nergui before the funeral. And she hadn’t actually eaten. Her stomach grumbled loudly the moment she started thinking about that fact. Qotoiyan smiled, “Do you want me to get some food?”
“Yes please,” Alqa said and Qotoiyan stood up and left. He came back a while later, carrying one large platter, set with dried meat strips, rendered fat, dried beets, dry hardbread and berries. He set the platter down. “Do you want gusui?”
“We have some?”
“Apparently, it seems somebody thought to bring it. No clue why,”
“Sure,” Alqa said and Qotoiyan left again. He came back with two horns of Gusui. He handed one to her and sat down. She took a sip, it tasted normal. They dipped the hardbread in the rendered fat to soften it so that it would be edible and not shatter their teeth into a hundred pieces. At least the fat tasted good. Alqa could tell it had been solidified and then boiled back down with water and gusui though, maybe even some goat milk as well. Once they had finished Alqa looked at Qotoiyan. “I want to see Baatar and Nergui,” Alqa said.
“Do you want to do it alone?”
“No, I want you there,”
“Alright. Let’s go,” Qotoiyan said. He helped her up and they walked, more or less, together towards the trench. The closer they got, the worse the stench became. They were just at about a hundred paces away when Alqa felt slimy, chunky and warm liquid bubbling up in her mouth. She leaned over and vomited up the food she had just eaten. The stench was the worst she had ever smelled. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah,” Alqa said, she wiped her mouth with her sleeve and started to continue forward.
“You should rest,”
“Not until I’ve seen them,”
“Don’t be stubborn,” Qotoiyan said. Alqa ignored him and kept going until she reached the trench. The stench was so overpowering that she could not smell anything else, but she had to find them. She hobbled along the side of the trench for a long time before she finally found Baatar. His eyes were closed and his arms rested at his side. His blue tsud was stained reddish brown by blood, all over his stomach. Alqa couldn’t look at him for more than a moment. She quickly turned away and returned to her yurt, all willpower to visit Nergui evaporated out of her.
She returned to her yurt and sat down. Surprisingly, Qotoiyan hadn’t followed her. She laid down and rested for a long while. She never reached sleep, only that blurry point drifting between sleep and consciousness. She was shaken out of it by the low bellowing of kebur. She stood up, careful to not put too much weight on her injured ankle and picked up her walking sticks. She left the yurt and saw a column of warriors. They did not wear armor or carry weapons and their horses did not wear war-regalia. She saw many white horsehair banners and most warriors wore white.
Alqa approached the gathering horde. She could only see glimpses of the Baltui warriors as they dismounted their horses. She couldn’t see what happened next, but followed the group as they lined up on one edge of the trench. To her small relief, she was not the only one retching. The line began moving. As she got closer to the front she could see warriors each throwing one shovelful of dirt into the trench before looping back around. When it was her turn, an Ärchgekui handed her a shovel, already filled with dirt, and she helped Alqa stand while she threw the dirt into the trench. She returned the shovel and looped back around to the end of the line. She had to do this three times before the trench was filled.
When the trench was filled, warriors began to separate, many went to sit on the trench, but many went back to their yurts. Alqa chose the trench. She found a relatively open spot and sat down, laying her walking sticks beside her. It took some time before she spotted Qotoiyan and waved him over and he sat down next to her. “I haven’t seen you since I vomited,”
“I thought I should give you some space. Did you see them?”
“I saw Baatar. That destroyed my will to see anybody else I knew,”
“If you ever need anybody to talk to you can talk to me,”
“But, you can’t understand. Nobody can understand. I lost everything. All my friends, my family. I-I-I I took care of Nergui ever since she was a foal. And now she’s gone. All I had left was Dagan and Nergui. And now it’s just Dagan,” Alqa said, as tears began to stream down her face.
“I know I can’t understand how hard it is for you. But I promise that I will be there whenever you need somebody to talk to,”
“I know,” Alqa said. She leaned against him and they sat all night, watching the stars, the lights of ai er delkhaäsa dera. As dawn was beginning to break, everybody began standing up and going back to their yurts. Alqa joined them and shortly after reaching her yurt was fast asleep.