The bus ride to Booker’s Beans wasn’t as terrible as I thought it would be on a Tuesday morning. It provided ample time for me to immerse myself in my sketchbook and gather my thoughts for the day ahead. Anxiety had kept me tossing and turning all night. By around three a.m., unable to bear it any longer, I sought solace in my studio.

I had retrieved the oversized painting, which I couldn't recall creating, and sat with it, perplexed. The more I had examined it, the less it resembled my usual crafted style. My own brushstrokes were deliberate and distinct, but these were chaotic and random. After hours of contemplation, I had stored it back in the hutch and attempted to rest, though sleep remained elusive. So the thought of a comforting cup of coffee was especially appealing this morning.

The bus dropped me off two blocks away, allowing me to enjoy the pleasant sixty-degree weather with overcast skies. As I strolled, I admired the familiar shapes and characters in the clouds, tracing sunbeams breaking through them to the ground. Cooper often teased that my artist's perspective colored my view of the world. I smiled at the memory as I neared the entrance to Booker's Beans.

I entered the turntable doors of the old diner-turned-coffee shop and noticed Aster already seated in a back booth. She must have noticed me walking up because her eyes were already on me, and she waved in the air to make sure I saw her too.

"Wow, this is an amazing day out today, isn’t it?” I asked.

Aster nodded, finishing a sip of her coffee. “Mmm, sorry I took the liberty of grabbing my coffee. I desparetely needed it, so I apologize I didn’t wait for you. I hope you don’t mind.” She sat her cup on the saucer and smiled.

“Oh no, not at all. Trust me, I understand. I had a horrendous time sleeping last night.” I stared at the giant cup, and my eyes went wide. “That is one big ass cup of coffee… is it a bowl or a mug?” I giggled as I inspected it more.

“Yeah, it’s for sure a bowl they're passing off as a mug. You’ve never been here before? It’s one of my favorite places, so I was happy when you mentioned it.” Aster turned the mug around on the saucer. "And this is more like a plate than a saucer.”

“No, I’ve never been in here, but I pass it on my way to my therapist’s office every week, and it always catches my eye. I like the architecture of the building but I never make time to stop in, so this was the perfect excuse!”

"Yeah, it’s crazy they turned it into a coffee dive. Personally, I would’ve kept it a diner. Nothing can beat diner food. Nothing," Aster said.

"Oh, I bet. I’ve never been to a diner either, at least not one I can recall.” I gestured humorously towards my head. “You know, memory problems and all. But hey, maybe someday. Coop mentioned there's an old diner up north he wants to show me.” I paused as I noticed Aster shifting in her seat, focusing on her coffee. “I mean, as a hangout with him and Rachel. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if you joined us too. It would be a lot of fun!”

'Nice recovery, Savi. You dolt.'

I peeked at the coffee menu on the table. “I didn't realize they had so much more than coffee here. Tea, cakes, cookies, pastries. Sweet, lots of desserts! Just my style. By the way, your coffee looks delicious; what is it? I need to give it a try.”

“I have no clue. I walked in, and the guy in front had one, and it looked so tasty, so I said I wanted whatever he was having. The waitress called it some sort of 'Mocha Frothzilla' thing for the holiday coming up," Aster replied, looking at the cup again.

“Ah yes, Halloween! I bet that’s your favorite time of year, isn’t it?” I eyed Aster as she sipped her coffee and stared. She laughed as she put her mug back down. “Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude or anything. I assumed with all the… " I leaned in and whispered, "witch stuff it would be your favorite time. I hope I haven't offended you.” I swore under my breath, trying to make myself smaller in the booth.

“No, not at all. You’d be correct. The weeks leading up to Samhain are my favorite time, but not only because of the witch stuff.” She whispered that part back to me as well. “I love it more for all the various changes. The weather, the leaves, the harvest. And yes… the other stuff too, like the thinning of the veil.”

I laughed and set the display menu back against the window of our booth. "Whew, good. Well, in that case, I’m going to go order my drink and possibly a small snack. Would you like a pastry or anything while I'm up there?” I turned back to Aster as I slid out, waiting for her response.

“No, I’m okay with just the coffee. Thank you, though," Aster assured me.

"No problem. Be right back.” I turned toward the counter to place my order.

'Gods, could I be any more hopeless? Come on, Savi.. you can do this. You can have a conversation with someone new and not tell your entire life story or bring up things you’re planning to do with their boyfriend.'

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I stomped up to the front, trying to shake the nerves free from my body. The young lady behind the counter popped a giant bubble of her gum and smacked her lips together as she stared at me. She waited a moment to have her gum back in her mouth before she spoke. "Yeah, and what would you like to get today?” she asked, her nasally—almost raspy voice grinding against my ear drums.

The sound sent shivers down my spine as the vocal fry got on my nerves quicker than anything. I smiled and turned my head back to the booth. “You see the girl over there in the back booth? I’ll have whatever she’s having, which is what some guy in front of her earlier was having. Whatever it is.” I turned back to the lady to see if she understood anything I had said. The woman deadpan stared at me before huffing the loudest huff I had ever heard.

“That’s the Mocha Monster Frapzilla," she said between smacks of her gum.

I stared back at her in bewilderment, and for a split second, I could have sworn I felt my left eye twitch. Visions of me reaching across the counter, popping her second bubble, then smacking her upside the head with one of the giant saucers danced in my head, giving me the biggest internal giggle. “Yes, I’ll take one of those, please."

I managed to eke out a smile, not out of politeness but at the thought of this woman’s reaction to me whacking away at her. The noises she made in my vision brought joy to my heart.

‘Oof, man, I really do need therapy, huh?’

I paid for my drink while trying to ignore the sound this woman made as she said, “That’s eleven dollars and ninety-two cents.” Her voice sounded as if it belonged in one of Coop’s favorite horror movies, crawling out of a bathtub in some old Japanese house.

The young lady turned to make my giant-sized coffee, and I delighted in even more fun visions of ways to smack her vocal cords back to their proper tone.

‘They can’t say all young folk are created equal because we most certainly are not.’

I decided it was best to stop thinking of ways to unalive the barista in front of her and glanced around the place some more. The walls were mint green with pops of brown. A bulletin board littered with about a million flyers hung on the opposite side of the diner to my booth. I made a mental note to take a peek at them if I had the time. I needed to enjoy my coffee and make sure I caught the bus on schedule to get to work later. A bell dinging on the counter beside me pulled my attention back to the barista.

"Uh, hello, I said here’s your coffee, ma’am.” Emphasis on the ma’am. One last throat punch image for the road couldn’t hurt. I smiled as I took the gigantic coffee and headed back to Aster.

Aster gave me a puzzling stare as I placed my coffee on the table, being careful not to spill it, and slid into the booth. “What’s with the devious grin?” she asked, stirring her coffee.

I considered sharing the absurdity of my thoughts but opted against it, not wanting to risk scaring Aster away so early in her relationship with Coop. He'd kill me if she dumped him because of something I did or said. “Oh, it was nothing,” I said. “I just can't stand the vocal fry some people do. It gets on my nerves.” I chuckled, observing Aster’s reaction to gauge whether she thought I was a complete psycho or not. My shoulders eased when I saw her smile and laugh along.

"Yeah. I hate that too. It's irritating," Aster agreed.

We both sat in silence for a moment, sipping our coffees almost in unison. I caught myself rubbing the scar on my neck and dropped my hand to my lap.

'Stupid Theo, making me self-conscious about it now.'

“Yum, this is divine! I’m glad I chose it, well, I mean I’m glad you chose it… which I guess in fact means I’m glad the first guy chose it or none of us would have chosen it.” I peeked across the table at Aster, who was trying her best to hide her reaction to my awkwardness. Aster laughed as she sipped. “Gods, I’m sorry, I’m all over the place today. Whew, I need this coffee to help me think straight.”

“It’s okay. I get it, nerves are quite the annoying problem. Aren’t they? And by the way, what’s with the "Gods" reference? You’re the only other person besides Coop who I’ve ever heard say it like that, plural; what’s up with it if you don’t mind my asking?"

"Actually, I first heard it from him. I asked him the same question soon after we met. He talked about his philosophies on religion and how the world works, blending old and new gods from mythology. He shared stories of ancient beings like Cthulhu and Lovecraftian lore, which intrigued me so much they stuck with me. 'Gods' refers to them collectively, not one entity in particular. He introduced me to a lot in those early days."

Smiling at the memories Cooper and I shared, I glanced out the window before turning back to Aster then realized yet again I had made awkward comments about her boyfriend. “Sorry again. Coop's a great guy. You're lucky to have him. And just to clarify, nothing has ever happened between us, in case you ever wondered. Not saying that you were, just saying, in case you ever did.” I bit my lip and stared down at my coffee to stop myself from saying more.

Aster giggled again and placed her hand on mine beside my mug. “It’s ok Savi, I’m aware of y’alls history. It was my first question I asked when he told me he lived with two female roommates and he explained the same thing. It’s all good. And I understand the nerves, I wasn’t meaning to judge a moment ago. Things can be a bit awkward, especially after the other night. I’m still very sorry about that by the way.”

The emotion on her face was genuine; she was sorry about what had happened and though I had forgiven her for it, I still had a lot of questions. I waved a hand in front of me as I took a gulp of coffee.

"Ah, it's alright. No need to apologize. Life throws curveballs sometimes, right? Don't worry about it." I took another big sip to collect my thoughts, memories of it flooding back, making me swallow hard and stifle a cough. "But about that night, could you tell me what happened? It felt strange afterward, and I haven't been able to shake the feeling." I hoped Aster could shed some light on it.

Aster's eyes widened as she sipped her coffee, nodding as if I'd jogged her memory. "Actually, that's partly why I wanted to meet today. I wanted to apologize for everything and talk about it a bit, if you're okay with that." She shifted in her seat, signaling that the conversation was about to become more serious.

"Yeah, that’s fine,” I agreed.