Bren knew they should be having a great time. A terrific time, even! They were in one of their favorite outfits. There was a big bonfire, which in itself was a novelty after growing up in a crowded city. Old and new friends were mingling with the Addams clan and appeared to be enjoying themselves immensely...but that hollow, sinking feeling kept creeping into their chest and dragging itself down into their stomach.

It had a funny habit of doing that. Crawling up from the depths in a rather happy moment to dull everything around them and turn their body to lead. Finding them in the midst of a high only to suddenly sink in its claws and drag them back towards the gaping abyss. It wasn't fair, and it didn't make much sense. It just...it just happened. They knew they'd be fine, eventually. They always were. Even the bad days eventually would end. Even when it felt like they never would.

That knowledge didn't stop the hollow feeling, though. It just was a tenuous string in the dark. Like that Greek story April told about a magic ball of string or yarn or something that someone used to navigate a giant underground maze plunged into darkness. It would be easy to stumble and accidentally let go of the string, losing yourself in the dark with a wandering monster that, if it catches you, will ensure you will never leave the prison you're forced to share.

Damn, April was really starting to rub off on them.

"Bren!" They startled as a hand clapped down firmly on their shoulder, looking to see Gomez smiling down at them from their place watching on the outskirts of the fire's light. Though, there was something a bit soft in his gaze that confused Bren. "Come! I need a sparring partner!" Bren arched a brow in confusion.

"Sparring partner? Gomez, its the middle of the bonfire-?"

"Precisely! What better time?" He declared before holding out an arm with his signature beaming grin. "Swords, please!" Within moments swords indeed were thrown to them from somewhere. Gomez caught his with flourishing ease while Bren barely fumbled for the sudden projectile in time to keep from getting basically brained by the hilt. They almost immediately released their grip, barely tossing it up with a light spin and catching it so the guard was in the proper placement, grip in the proper form. Scarcely had they secured their grip when they heard Gomez eagerly shout "Allez!".

They noted the incoming Fleche just in time to raise their sword, managing a clumsy disengagement prior to a hasty retreat, the shadows of the evening making them have to focus more closely on footwork over the uneven ground. Focus honing on Gomez's body language as they recovered, they looked for the few tells the unhinged man had.

The flickering light of the fire wasn't exactly helpful in such pursuits, though, so they missed it when the fucker lunged forward with a compound attack.

Aka, Gomez jumped forward with manic glee while swinging repeatedly at them like an oddly precise windmill with bloodlust.

They had little time to think with the successive parries needed to evade Gomez getting a hit. Eventually, though, their muscle memory kicked in. Mirroring movements and anticipating responses to the attacks became instinctive. They couldn't think of much beyond the bout, formulating responses and focusing on the movements and blade of the opponent. They even managed to land a hit themself, twice.

"Five!" Gomez declared triumphantly, disengaging from where his point had thudded firmly onto Bren's chest. Definitely leaving a bruise. Only to immediately make some damned flourishing movement Bren's eyes couldn't begin to track that sent their blade jumping out of their hand. "Good show, Bren! Great improvement! Brilliant Appel at your second hit!" The victory declaration prompted Bren to hit their knees before falling onto their back to catch their breath. The night air was cooler in the short distance the two had traveled from the fire, sending a pleasant chill across their sweaty skin.

Bren heard more than saw Gomez throw himself down next to him. Of course, the lunatic was barely short of breath. For a long moment, they just sat in a companionable silence as they stared up at the stars. Bright and glinting between whisps of clouds that sailed across the bright, moonlit sky.

"You know," Gomez hummed merrily. "Tonight feels like a funeral."

"...okay, Gomez, I say this knowing you've got an odd outlook on certain things, but...how the fuck does tonight feel like a funeral?" They asked, taking the bait. "Funerals aren't happy occasions for most people, you know."

"It feels like an end and a beginning." Gomez hummed. "That bitter taste of loss, that pang of pain for things gone by never to be attained again...yet, the promise of something new beyond what we may understand beginning! Both dispair and delight in a terrible twisting in one's being. It is exhilarating!"

Bren considered for a moment, searching the stars for understanding. "Huh. Kinda like that hate and love being linked thing April talks about. I guess I can see it. In a weird, backwards, inside out kind of way." They forced themself to sit up, the overgrown, now dying grass starting to feel scratchy against their skin. Drawn by the light of the blazing fire, they somehow instinctively found April in the festivities. Her form swinging and swaying with the weirdly good music Pugsley had concocted. Dancing with Wednesday and Morticia like the trio were in their own eclectic little coven summoning the devil or some shit like that.

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

They wouldn't doubt their ability to do so.

Sure, they saw the others dancing and moving around each other, swapping partners and groupings with vigor. Always, though, their gaze returned to April. Eyes seemingly determined they could only be content with her as their sole focus.

"Our affections create the most devastating, maddeningly beautiful creatures, don't they?" Gomez mused quietly from where he had sat up by their side. Voice soft in a gentle, knowing tone that Bren hadn't heard from the man, before. "It is an Addam's blessing, their curse. To be possessed by their love's gaze. Our waking thoughts consumed by depraved hunger for their presence and in sleep...devoured in unholy longing that they may rend us to unrecognizable pieces of what we once were so we may be forged anew into the creature of their desire. Desiring for ourselves only that they may tear our still beating hearts from our chests. Blessed torments we surrender to willingly. Throwing ourselves into the flaming brazier of their altar of our own volition. All so we may earn a single glance, a hint of a smile. For what else shall quench the flame they stir within us? We who are bewitched, body and soul...grateful of the strangling vines ensnaring us and pulling them ever tighter so we never may leave our prison. Relishing the ache of the embedded thorns who's punctures weep blood with which to ink their claim upon us. The pain but euphoria as we bleed our utter devotion, our obsession branding their name into the core of our being. For what use is freedom without the very beat of our wretched hearts that they hold captive, cradled in an iron grasp? Knowing the agony of love...what bliss."

Bren hesitated, a bit embarrassed, but...Gomez wasn't teasing. He wasn't making light of what they felt for April. Seeing her smile as the blazing bonfire lit the night was captivating. The rare flash of green light sometimes seen upon the horizon but a pathetic mimicry of the radiance her eyes contained in the shifting glow. Her hair aflame in shades of red, orange, copper, and gold in the unbridled, dancing light and shadow. It filled them with an...an ache. Simultaneously overjoyed that she was happy as well as devastated that the smile was not for them. Their chest burning, as if they were breathing in the heat of the flames she seemed to embody.

Fuck. They really were as messed up as Gomez was.

"It hurts." They blurted softly without thinking. "It hurts to breathe around her, sometimes. Like...like..."

"Like your breath is not your own?" Gomez sighed happily. "Yes, our very breath knows whom it is slave to. Every heartbeat is at their pleasure, every breath for their enjoyment."

"But...but how-I thought it was supposed to be gentle." They admitted, a hand coming up to rub at their chest, feeling a vice around it as they heard her distant laughter. "If it hurts, why do I keep craving more of it?"

"Because love is gentle in its torture. Our hearts simply aren't designed to hold such depths of devotion, and struggle with it's magnitude. They no longer belong to us, and as such must endure the glorious struggle to beat away from it's rightful place in her hands. Every breath is unfulfilled if not at her side. Embrace it, Bren. A love like that...it is all one can hope to devote themselves to. The pain is glorious, just as the relief in the full embrace of her affections euphoric. Who would not come to crave the pain that proceeds nirvana?." Their shoulder recieved a firm squeeze before Gomez's tone brightened once more as he stood. "Speaking of nirvana, I have a wife in need of a dance!" He began striding purposefully towards Morticia, a certain bounce in his step.

"Yes, Bubel-ah! Gomez!" Bren smiled softly at the sight of Gomez dipping his wife and kissing her dramatically, shiluetted against the flames. Morticia soon happily surrendering to his attentions. Nearby April beamed and giggled at their antics, brighter than the firelight. Outshining the stars and putting the moon to shame.

"A man had given all other bliss,

And all his worldly worth for this,

To waste his whole heart in one kiss

Upon her perfect lips."

They murmured, a new appreciation gained for the prose that had echoed in their mind after that afternoon in the library shortly after they had first met. Now branded into their soul.

"Bren!"

Their heart leapt at the call, finding emerald eyes focused intently on them. Delicate arms raising to reach in their direction, palms up and fingers curled gently as if sculpted to allure all who see the gesture to take the offered hands. Half of her form haloed by the hazy glow of firelight, the other shrouded in shadow though her eyes still seemed to glow in the absence of light. A soft smile that surpassed the sun bringing back that pang of pain in their chest before her sweet voice reached them once more.

"Come dance with me!"

Their heart seized for a moment. Lungs revolted. Every aspect of their being rebelling as it sought to race to her side. They didn't bother trying to speak, voice having abandoned them, as well. They simply hurried from the shadows into the shifting light, finally finding where their voice had raced ahead to the only ears it cared to be heard by when they took her hands.

"At your command. Always." They insisted with a quiet finality that had her eyes taking on that sweet thoughtfulness they wanted to drown in. Heart stuttering as she squeezed their hands gently, feeling the phantom crush of the organ in her grasp. They beamed as she seemed prepared to ask a question they weren't sure they had the courage to answer just yet. Pulling her into a wild, uncoordinated dance that sent them prancing about the fire as she giggled and squealed at their antics. Sure, it was no fine waltz or tango like Gomez and Morticia often performed. There was time to learn such things eventually. Until they could properly dance with her, though, this would be more than satisfactory. Simply having her in their arms felt like home.

So maybe they were as insane as the old man. Maybe they were obsessed, but...maybe that meant there was a chance of even being half as happy as the deranged fool.

Wouldn't that be wonderfully awful?