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Chapter 85: Just Don't Die

Rick grasped for the yellow light again and caught it, though it flickered. Before he could stabilize it and slip into empty mind, Ditto-not-Ditto attacked.

The strike was blistering fast, and though Rick shifted away, his terror interfered with his drilled-in self-defense training. The bot’s hard right straight smashed into his forehead and he stumbled backward.

He rolled once, then again, trying to conjure the yellow light, but DnD—the bot that wasn’t Ditto—kicked him in the guts, breaking his concentration.

Dirt crusted and stuck to Rick’s lips as he rolled in the dirt again, rolling further until he was on the grass at the edge of the path. This time, when he reached for the yellow light, it caught, and he bloomed into empty mind, as if he’d swum through a tight tunnel and emerged from the water on the other side into the gloriously less constricting air.

When he stood, he was empty, but DnD was blindingly fast, and Rick wasn’t as fast as he expected.

He fended off the attacks and fired off the Hard Angles technique.

It failed. Utterly. He moved to the side, but his strikes didn’t have the signature punch they should have, nor did the icon for the skill flash when he performed the action.

What the hell? In his shock, he barely deflected DnD’s next strike, a knee aimed at his groin. The bot had put so much power into it, it still struck his upper thigh hard enough to shift him from his center of gravity.

Rick dropped to his knees and tried to perform Twinder, the new skill he’d earned from his previous fight. Although he performed the actions, the double uppercuts that finished the move had far less effect than they should have. He rolled backward out of Ditto-not-Ditto’s range, then again as the bot pursued, then stood.

But it had been too much. He’d crashed out his stamina bar for the first time in weeks. The half-second of confusion passed as a realization overtook him: Stamina Camel—a passive skill he’d had since near the beginning—was also not working. What the hell?

You— Ditto’s voice in his head cut out again. —ills are null—fied.

No skills? He used the sliver of remaining stamina to slip out of DnD’s grasp as the bot went for a hold, but then had to slow down to not draw further stamina. How the fuck am I supposed to win a rank three match with no boosts or skills?

He didn’t have long to think about it. DnD’s second attempt at a grab was successful. The kung fu bot slammed him into the dirt, and before Rick could squirm away, DnD was already atop him.

He struggled to prevent the bot from putting him in a sleeper hold. He got close to breaking DnD’s grip, but his stamina bottomed out before he succeeded. The bot’s arms constricted around his neck and his vision narrowed into a long, black tunnel. He elbowed the bot in the ribs, but it didn’t loosen DnD’s crushing hold. Rick couldn’t voice his frustration as his alertness began to fade.

Then, like that, DnD’s constricting hold was no longer there. The dark tunnel slowly receded. Rick’s head, which had been held above the ground by DnD’s arm, now swam as he tried to reorient himself. He coughed, and dizziness tilted his newly colorful world to and fro as he panted. He struggled to his knees. The noise of a scuffle happened outside the range of his rapidly returning vision. He rubbed his face and blinked. Empty mind had slipped away, so he conjured the yellow light in his solar plexus again and within a moment, it was gone. The dizziness decreased, and what little remained did so at the edges of the profound silence within him.

The sight that greeted created a hopeful smile on his lips. Ditto-not-Ditto was fighting with R3D_Button, and his erstwhile partner was holding his own. Rick took a deep breath as his stamina filled and the bar disappeared. He’d have to be much more careful, but as long as he kept it in—

He leapt backward as DnD launched a wildly unexpected flying kick at Rick, leaving R3D_Button with a puzzled look on his face and no enemy to fight.

Rick dashed back again as Ditto-not-Ditto launched a high kick at his head. He ducked the next incoming punch, then blocked an elbow before spinning away and landing a jab that seemed to have little effect on the bot.

What am I doing? How the hell am I supposed to defeat an aspect of the program itself in the form of an avatar? Was he simply delaying his defeat? He dashed away again, deflecting another hard forward kick from DnD as he did.

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

R3D_Button had gotten over his shock, and had approached DnD from behind. That took the heat off Rick for a moment, as DnD turned to fend off a flurry of punches and kicks from R3D_Button.

“I got your back, bro!” the dark-haired player called out a half-second before Ditto-not-Ditto switched from defense to offense, pressing R3D_Button back a half step with each strike.

Rick dashed forward to attack the bot, but the anti-cheat bot that inhabited Ditto’s avatar blocked Rick’s punch, seemingly without the need to see it coming, and without turning. The avatar’s arm was simply there behind its back. Before Rick could react, DnD turned the block into a hooked arm that trapped Rick’s forearm between its own biceps and forearm, then twisted, shoving Rick back as it turned to face him, while simultaneously performing a backward kick that bent R3D_Button in two as he’d tried to advance.

There’s no way this—

DnD froze as if paralyzed. R3D_Button and Rick each came at the bot at the same time, Rick with a hard abdominal knee and R3D_Button with a high right hook. The bot took the hits, but didn’t reflect the physics of the game at all, which made R3D_Button pull back his arm.

“Goddamn! Like hitting a tree wrapped in a blanket. Fuck!” The other player shook his hand and winced, as if trying to dissipate pain.

He stepped back and R3D_Button followed suit. Rick shot a questioning look at the black-haired fighter. “You ever seen—”

“No.” R3D_Button shook his head, then stepped in at the same time the bot came back to life. Rick pulled back for a punch.

Wait! It was Ditto’s voice in his head.

R3D_Button had gotten the bot into a sleeper hold.

“Its… me… this time!” Ditto’s voice was back in his avatar.

“Hold up! Hold up! Let him go,” Rick said.

R3D_Button screwed up his face. “Are you out of your mind.”

“It’s not the same person. I know this guy.”

The other fighter cast him a doubtful look, but he let go his hold and stepped back, clearly ready to begin fighting again.

Ditto took deep breaths, then said, “Thank you.”

“What the fuck happened?” Rick asked. “Was that the—”

“Anti-cheat bot, yeah.” He nodded.

R3D_Button’s eyes went wide. “Wait, what? We were fighting the anti-cheat? How is that even possible?” The player stepped back further and pointed at Ditto’s avatar. “Who’s in there now?”

Rick ignored the player, instead addressing his question to Ditto. “How did you get back control?”

The look Ditto gave him suggested it was a complicated story. “It had entirely new levels of lockout programs on me. I had to…” Ditto took a deep breath. “You know the rock monster from the temple? Imagine fighting ten of those at once, except, well… it’s finding exploits in code. That’s why it took so long—” He stopped short. “Hold on, gotta divert audience traffic away, or this”—he pointed, indicating himself, Rick, and R3D_Button—“will look suspicious to anyone who knows how this game works.”

“Who is this guy?” R3D_Button pressed.

Rick waved the dark-haired player away and kept his attention on the kung fu bot. “Is the anti-cheat coming back?”

Ditto shrugged. “Probably. It’s in the same situation I was in, so if it does, it’s going to be angry.” Ditto tilted his head and nodded toward R3D_Button. “Who’s your friend? This the guy from the qualifier?”

Rick nodded. “Yeah, shit.” He faced the other player. “Thanks for that, man. I would have been fucked if—” Rick cut himself off and attempted a move from his list, throwing out Hard Angles. He stepped to the side and mimed a tripping move. The skill flashed and the cooldown began. “Just checking,” he said by way of explanation. “I’d lost access to everything. Without Red here, I—”

“You’re welcome.” R3D_Button nodded.

“Without Red, I wouldn’t have had a chance. Did you know that could happen?”

Ditto shook his head. “No, but I should have considered it. The anti-cheat has considerable leeway in its pursuit of cheating players.”

R3D_Button narrowed his eyes. “Are you cheating? That would explain—”

“No, I’m not cheating,” Rick said. “Not technically.”

“Not technically?”

Ditto said, “No matter the leeway, though, the anti-cheat shouldn’t have overtaken my avatar.” The bot narrowed his eyes. “Perhaps the anti-cheat is—”

“Like you?” Rick raised an eyebrow and Ditto gave him a knowing look.

Thunder boomed in the background. “Are you gonna tell me what’s going on?” R3D_Button tapped his foot.

Open-mouthed, Rick gave a long glance at Ditto.

“Should I?” Ditto drew his finger across his throat.

Rick sighed. “I have to win. I can’t risk second place.”

“Holy shit, you are cheating.” R3D_Button backed up.

“No, I’m not, but I have too much riding on this—my wife—Jesus, it’s shit I can’t even—” He stumbled over the words. “You don’t want to get caught up in this.”

“Caught up in—”

“Can you accept not taking first place?” Ditto asked the dark-haired player.

“Well, yeah. If I get beat, that’s—”

“No,” Ditto said. “I mean you can’t have first place.” The bot squared up and approached the player.

R3D_Button stepped back. “What, do I have to fight you for it?”

Ditto shook his head. “You won’t win.”

A look of realization appeared on R3D_Button’s face. “But you’re not cheating?”

“Wait,” Rick said. “Hang on.” He looked at Ditto, then at R3D_Button. “I can carry him to the top ten.”

“Carry me?” R3D_Button’s eyes went wide. “You don’t have to carry shit, man. Fuck you, too.”

Rick rolled his eyes. “I just meant—”

“Fuck you, man.”

Ditto looked at Rick, as if expecting permission.

Rick threw up his hands and glared at the other player. “Look, man, if I was cheating, do you think you’d have gotten as close to beating me as you did in the qualifier? You ever come up against someone with cheats enabled?”

R3D_Button said nothing, but pointed at Ditto. The player wore an expression that screamed, “Really?”

“I have to go.” Ditto looked at R3D_Button. “I am the game. I don’t cheat at the game.” The bot walked off the trail into the tall grass, then disappeared.