Alex had only waited another week before she insisted she join Rick’s training sessions.

His sessions with Ditto were brutal, but they’d borne some limited fruit. He’d forgotten all about his boost points and skills.

“I can’t believe you haven’t allocated a single thing,” she said.

Rick sighed and kicked the sandy floor of the starting cave that had for so long set the stage for his early training. For the first time, he noticed the sound of trickling water in the distance, and the air carried the faint smell of dampness and fungus. “I still don’t know what to emphasize—not until I know where my weaknesses are now.”

Jesus. Does her avatar look—

“But come on, man. The new implant is better. After an initial bit of adjustment, you should be better. You’re worried about nothing.”

He glared at her. “Look at me and don’t talk for a sec, okay?” He waited for her to nod. “Do you think I’m some timid pacifist who doesn’t want this as badly or, uh…” He stumbled with the syntax of his argument, then said, “More badly? Anyway, I do. So when I tell you something, assume first that I know what the fuck I’m talking about regarding my own abilities, okay?”

She didn’t say anything for an exaggeratedly long moment. Rick said, “Okay, you can talk now, smartass.”

She exhaled forcefully, then took a deep breath. “It’s my job to push you to be everything you can be, to the extent I’m able. If you have problems, we can work with them.”

Rick sighed. “Remember our first day?”

Alex’s smile dropped. “You’re telling me—”

He shook his head. “It’s not that bad, but it’s not good.”

“And you’ve been trying to overcome this alone?”

“Yeah,” he lied.

“Yeah?” Alex’s look was one of skepticism.

He rushed in with a more elaborate lie. “I’ve been programming the bots around it so I can—”

“Alone?”

He nodded again.

She looked away, then back at him. “Why do you insist you have to do everything by your goddamned self, Rick?”

“But I don’t.” His frustration mounted. “I’m fucking reliant on everyone, and it’s exhausting. At any second, you could say you’re done with me and I’m fucked.” He ticked away the point on his extended index finger, then slapped his ring finger. “And Hector is a whole other level. That sociopath still holds my entire future in his hands, and I get to dance a fine line like damned circus bear or risk losing everything.” Rick raised his voice. “He’s in my fucking house now, Alex. Right now I’m using his SR array and he can make my entire world impossible at the drop of a hat.”

Alex sighed and nodded but Rick wasn’t finished.

“And now, after years of just scraping by with my wife, we finally start making progress, and I have some head-shrinker making damned well and sure she remembers that once, in an entirely different life, I was unfaithful.” He gritted his teeth and forced himself to breathe. “My whole life is me relying on the whims of other people, and I gotta say, I’m fucking done with it.”

Alex nodded again, her eyes wide. “Okay, Rick. Calm down, okay?’

He forced his frustration back underground and tried to make his expression less angry.

“You’re right. Your life is a shit-show, okay? But let’s be smart about this. For now, you need me and you need Hector—and fuck you for equating us in any goddamned way, okay? But you’re in a hole and you’re right, you’re climbing out.”

Rick closed his eyes and tried to take in what she was saying.

Her look was stern. “I’m not some sinister mustache-twirling villain, looking to fuck you over at the earliest opportunity.”

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“You need to prove yourself. That’s why you’re helping me,” he protested.

“Oh my fucking God, Rick—grow up a little, huh? Yeah, I have an agenda, but that doesn’t exist in a vacuum. Now Hector, he’s a socio, no doubt about it, but I’m not.” She looked down. “I don’t have many friends, but I consider you one of them.”

Rick opened his mouth to speak, but stopped himself.

She looked him in the eye. “I know friendships aren’t always fifty-fifty, but man, it hurts that I’ve done all this to help you and you still think I’m out to fuckin’ fuck you on this. No wonder your wife is…” She stopped.

Softly, he said, “Finish the thought.”

She shook her head. “Shit, man. How does anyone get close to you?”

Rick had to think about it, because the answer wasn’t immediately there. How had Kristina gotten in? “Time,” he said. “It takes time.” He shook his head, bit the inside of his cheek in thought, and sighed. “No one wants to put in the time.”

“Gee, Rick. I can’t imagine why that is.”

He nodded. “I’ll get it sorted. Eventually.” He looked down. “Right?”

They ventured from the cave, and Rick felt like his fly was down, like he was about to be humiliated. Again.

His anxiety crept up when a bot came into view ahead along the familiar forest path. Alex gave him a sidelong look, and like a man headed to his hanging, he approached.

The male bot’s look was consistent. It wore a grey karate gi and sandals, and its brown hair had been styled into a simple style—short, but not a crew-cut. Rick raised his arms as he got nearer and crossed the bot’s alert radius.

As it got nearer, Rick bolted forward, then stopped, trying to draw out the fighting equivalent of an off-sides commitment from the thing. It didn’t oblige. Great. A smart one.

They circled one another on the sandy, pebbly path, their combined careful footsteps making staccato crunching noises in the gravel whenever one of them quickly changed direction.

“You gonna hit the fucking thing?” Alex called out.

He swallowed and initiated a kick, but as soon as he connected, he rolled backward and stood to get a read on his distress. His heart pounded, and he frowned, trying to force the fear into something that felt closer to excitement. His mouth was dry and the horizon swayed as dizziness began to overwhelm him.

Short Hair tilted its head and jabbed. Rick weaved, then blocked the bot’s knee as it came up. Again he stepped back. His hands shook.

The bot advanced, and though the terror threatened to swallow him, Rick kicked forward, connecting with Short Hair’s groin. The bot dropped. He tried to zero in on the grounded bot, but Rick’s whole world swayed again, and nausea overwhelmed him. He breathed deeply. The bot tried to crawl away, but Rick jumped on it. Just giving it a hug, right?He locked his arms around its neck and squeezed, but the bot rammed its elbow into Rick’s ribs, shifting his weight enough to weaken Rick’s hold on its neck before rolling him over.

The bot covered him, and the closeness chased away his calm. He panicked, flailing without any organization. Though he made no solid connection against the bot, in an instant, its weight had been lifted from him. Alex?

“Wow, man. You really are struggling.” Alex landed an intricate series of kung fu pressure strikes on the bot, temporarily paralyzing Short Hair so it lay prone on the rocky path.

Rick stood and nodded, swaying like a drunk. He flopped down on the bot, and in a few seconds, it was over.

The boxes turned into icons, giving him one each of orange, yellow, and blue. Alex extended a hand to help him up, and he had to concentrate to guide his shaking hand toward hers.

“Jesus, Rick. What the actual hell?” She narrowed her eyes. “Are you coming off drugs?”

Rick panted, afraid to say anything lest he vomit. Unable to resist the urge, he dashed for the side of the path and got on all fours. The rainbow colored blocks poured from his mouth until he thought he’d pass out from lack of air.

Alex’s expression was one of silent alarm. She helped him to his feet again. “Seriously, Rick. What’s wrong with you?”

He shook his head. The matter of Kristina’s eggs was one thing, but there was no way he wanted to get on the radar of anyone involved in reCon. Legally, his records were supposed to be scrubbed. He didn’t believe they were, though. And if they did catch up to him, he wanted to narrow the number of possible informants to be as few as possible. “I can’t.”

Her expression turned angry.

He put his hands up. “You don’t understand. I’d be putting you in danger, and I can’t do that. Not…”

“Not yet?”

He shook his head again. “Not with how much you’ve helped me.”

She appeared to consider his words, and her expression turned from frustrated to concerned. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to help you if you’re like this?”

He let out a sardonic laugh. “You have.” He raised his hands again. “It’s not bullshit, Alex. Without you, I…”

“Then tell me.”

“Why have I never seen you in person, Alex?”

“This isn’t about—”

“That’s not gonna cut it.” The last of his dizziness vanished, and he looked her in the eye.

“I can’t…”

He rolled his eyes. “Trust me when I tell you, I recognize that look on your face. I won’t push you. Don’t push me.”

She sighed. “How are you going to fix this? Y’know Hector wants reports on all my time with you. How am I supposed to cover for”—she spread her arms wider—“this?”

“Be as vague as possible. I’ll train off-hours and try to get it under control. If you don’t see me improving, we can cross that when we come to it.”

She nodded, but the look on her face was one of reluctance. Rick brushed away the dirt and a few errant pebbles that had caught in the folds of his uniform.

Alex narrowed her eyes again. “Am I gonna be saving your ass in every fight you do today?”

“You don’t have to, but I suspect I’ll be restarting a lot if you don’t.” He shrugged. “Your call.”

She frowned. “Let’s go.” She shook her head slowly. “It’s a shame. You’d just figured out how to conquer the Wild Ones, too.”