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When America Meets Immortals and Magic
Chapter 5: When America Desperately Distracts a Deity

Chapter 5: When America Desperately Distracts a Deity

After a few hours, I’ve run out food-related things to talk about. So, I ask some questions about America’s transportation.

“Yeah, so that’s how meatpacking works in America. But I’ve been wondering, why hasn’t the climate in our country changed, despite being in a wildly different location on the planet?”

Sadly, by now all of the cubes are gone. Alseni stops staring at the plate and looks up as he responds, “I don’t have the faintest idea.”

“…Well, I guess no other nation has been transported.”

“No, and only the Syndicate has people from another world. Likewise, your appearance probably isn’t a coincidence or mistake.”

Does he know something? Did the god of the Ebvirsjo Syndicate summon us or something? But according to Yuinae, they shouldn’t have that ability. I can’t tell what Alseni’s implying, he’s emotionless. No inflection, no change in expression, no nothing. Not good considering that I was trying to stall to know whether he’d smash me into the ground if I denounce speciesism.

“What do you mean by that?” Probably a trap, but I don’t know what else to say.

“Well, your location, though there isn’t anywhere else to put the United States on Echarit. It’s a major secret, but isn’t it suspicious that there’s such a large ocean to the west of Central?”

When I saw the satellite images, it did seem weird. But he doesn’t reply to my continued questioning, so when he attempts to ask about the US ideals and stuff, I have to change the subject.

“Oh, hey!” Crap, that came out weird and panicked. I cough and move on. “Yuinae helped fill out this map of the world, but didn’t know all the nations, especially the ones on this rooster continent.”

“…Rooster continent?”

I wait for Secret Service to deliver a print-out of the map and point to the eastern-most continent. “It looks like a rooster.”

[https://imgur.com/a/spOBOlX][https://imgur.com/HeQAe2y][https://imgur.com/6sauHFB.png]

“What is a rooster?”

…I see why he had a difficult time understanding what KFC was. Because there are no chickens here. I thought it was the whole chain restaurant thing, but he seemed to understand and even wanted to start a chain restaurant. Oh, another distraction conversation topic!

Since he said he’d fill out the map after comparing maps at his house, I attempt to explain what a chicken is. Secret Service helpfully provides pictures and eggs. Alseni seems pretty…interested at least. Another distraction, animal exchange.

Currently, my next distraction topic is…”By the way, I’ve heard that the seasons and time are the same here. You know, the four seasons and 24-hour clock. Though we use the 12-hour clock…but up in Frivesinisa, they don’t have seasons. What do they use?”

…I’m not sure Alseni heard me because he’s attempting to eat an egg raw, shell and all. After popping it into his mouth, he takes forever to chew. Are you a sloth? Seriously…

At some point, he finishes eating. “It’s wet and slimy. I see why you mostly cook it.”

“Yes, but what about seasons in Frivesinisa?”

“Oh, instead of autumn and winter, they have mana drain, where mana is scarce and crops don’t grow well because of it. Instead of spring and summer, they have mana rush, the opposite.”

Wasn’t as good of a distraction as I hoped, but the egg thing makes up for it. How long until dark? I don’t wear watches and I can’t pull out my phone because I don’t want to reveal that technology. At least, not right now.

“Um, by the way! I never introduced myself!” Shit, that’s embarrassing. “I’m President John…Johnson.” Now I remember why I skipped it for so long.

Alseni doesn’t seem to mind the late introduction. “Can I call you John the Second?”

“NO!…I mean, no. First of all, my dad’s name was Henry, not John. And…” If I reveal that America doesn’t have nobles, then I’ll have to explain that America’s a republic. And republics don’t exist here. And from the fact that America’s at war with Oso, the concept isn’t easy to understand.

Alseni cocks his head slightly. “And?”

“Uh…” Can dragon people see sweat?

“You know what, I think it’s time I learned about Venerai. Let’s start with, you know, foreign policies.” Time to forget political maneuvering and just bluntly ask the real question.

“Ah, I’m sure you’ve already heard some things.” Alseni looks back down at the plate. Is it me or is he embarrassed?

He asked about Venerai. I don’t think it’s a good idea to talk about the…extermination policies. But he probably already heard about it from other nations.

“Ah, I’m sure you’ve already heard some things.” Looking at John’s face is useless. Reading humans is easier than other species, but it doesn’t mean I’m very adept at it.

“Yes, there are some interesting things that we found out.” Is he interrogating me? Usually I would just smash the table and maybe the interrogator’s face in, but I want to have a positive relationship with the United States. Or America. He uses both terms.

I should make sure he knows that I’m not hostile to America. “I also think that America is interesting. Humans are interesting. I think they’re amazing.”

I'm not an expert at reading people, but I’m fairly certain John just showed an expression of fear. I see that one a lot, so I can’t be wrong. Why would he be afraid though? I haven’t done anything hostile or displayed my abilities. I complimented humans, did I not?

Maybe I should express my interest directly? “…I want to have a positive relationship with America.” Oh, I see why John uses the abbreviation ‘America.’ It’s very convenient.

John blinks. I hear the armored people who are presumably bodyguards or soldiers mutter, “What does he mean by that?” Or, “Is this a declaration of war?”

…Why would they think I’m declaring war? I need to correct that immediately. “I’m not declaring war, I simply want to have a positive relationship. Perhaps even an alliance?”

Everyone goes silent. Now there’s no way for me to know what they think. I have to sit in this chair made out of a strange material surrounded by humans with blank faces. I have the sudden urge to squish the chair.

That would obviously alarm the soldiers, so instead I shift my weight. It’s not the most comfortable chair.

You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

After what feels like an eternity—strange as I’ve lived for hundreds of years—John quietly says, “Yes? An alliance? …I’m afraid that I have to refuse.”

Ah? What? “…Why? I have no interest in extending the…thing to America. You will be honorary members.”

At that, John looks…horrified? What-I don’t, I don’t know why his reaction is like that.

He clears his throat. “The United States of America stands for democracy, freedom, and equality.” Oh. I see. Venerai’s policies are fundamentally against their ideals.

“Ahem, I appreciate the friendly stance you’ve taken towards us, but…” He pauses. “The United States of America cannot have any sort of positive relationship with a nation that not only disrespects the basic rights of…people, but activively seeks to destroy all they deem unworthy.” He then ducks behind one of his bodyguards.

Somehow, I feel a little wronged. Extermination wasn’t my idea.

The extermination of all other races…well, it was suggested by him around a hundred years ago. At that time, the Ynare-Cantorian Empire was an ally, but was getting annihilated by a nation that was once considered a superpower. They suddenly appeared in the Potonic Ocean and conquered the entire western half of Central in a mere year.

They reached Ynare-Cantoria. Even Venerai could not stand a chance. But as I was preparing to attack them myself, he said to instead join them. He said something like, “If you can’t beat them, join them. Besides, wouldn’t you get smited by the Laws of Divinity if you went out?” He didn’t know I didn’t have divinity, so even though I signed, nothing would happen if I broke the contract. “Plus, extermination would take up a hundred and fifty years according to your estimates, right?” I didn’t think that type of thing was very useful for my sanity, as once it’s complete, there would be fewer people and fewer types of people around, but I agreed. Since I could then convince that superpower to spare Ynare-Cantoria.

So it worked. But somehow, the nation collapsed a few months later. It didn’t even get to the Ruparai Empire. I suppose it couldn’t control all of the different nations it conquered. All of the gods of the conquered nations now had successors and no trace of the nation could be found. The people of the nations in the west of Central were wiped out, but with the divine domains of the nations remaining, the nations of Oso, Yuinae, Triskyu, Ikuanir, and Alsa’ene replaced them. It could’ve been worse than Devastation. But it ended so quickly.

Oh, I get so distracted when thinking about him. In any case, the extermination policy is something that I’m not very enthused about in the first place. I rather end it than lose the chance to ally with America. Which…is in the Potonic Ocean. Why does every disaster appear from there? Not Devastation, but the remnants also came from there.

So I declare, “Then the extermination of non-dragonair will end now. Friendship with America is to be prioritized.” He may not be here now, but I doubt that he would be very enthused about extermination either.

…Did he just, end the horrible thing Venerai’s got going on because he wanted to be friends with America?

“You can do that?” I half-mutter. I peek around my bodyguard to see his reaction.

He doesn’t seem to be concerned with all of the guns and tanks aiming at him. He doesn’t even get up. “Yes, I have had the authority to make decisions for Venerai for four hundred years.”

Not the question I was asking, but good to know. Though, isn’t Venerai supposed to be ruled by their patron deity? Oh, fuck. Is Alseni a god?! Or did he kill the old one to take power?! Wait, no, Yuinae didn’t say anything about that. But maybe he made everyone forget he did that!

…Ok, now I’m being paranoid. The real question is, why does he value friendship with America so much?

Since he’s probably not going to attack, probably, I take a gamble and sit back at the table. The Secret Service didn’t like that.

Alseni glances at the guy trying and failing to convince me to stay away. After I sit down, he comments, “They seem concerned for your well-being.”

“The Secret Service? It’s their job to protect the president.” Though I guess I’m not very easy to protect, sitting in front of a maybe-god who might be hostile.

“Can I learn more about America? Such as what democracy is, what freedom America seeks, and how you wish to achieve equality.”

I’m not sure what he’s trying to do, but I really need to know why he wouldn’t be hostile to America before telling him anything. “Before we get into that, can you tell me why you’re so eager to work with America?”

“Ah yes. America is a summoned nation, beings from another world are always interesting. Especially when the only other examples are essentially…super soldiers.” Didn’t expect to hear a modern term. Though maybe it’s not that modern. It’s also not very reassuring when the de facto leader of a nation that already seems exactly like WW2 Germany uses a term they created.

Alseni continues. “And I’ve been cursed to live forever. For the sake of my sanity and to prevent suicide, I’ve created a list of things for me to do. However, outside variables are much more valuable in that respect than killing other species, especially as that would lead to fewer variables on the planet. For moral concerns, I’m not a fan of the policy. The…he suggested it. I did agree, but it wasn’t something that was very high on the list.”

Doesn’t seem like the most moral person, but I expected worse. Maybe I’m biased because of expectations, but considering the medieval fantasy setting, I think Alseni isn’t a super bad guy. I mean, he literally could’ve squished me at any moment. I don’t know how effective tanks would be against him, though.

“Understand that America can’t trust you yet. So no discussion on technology.” He nods. “But we can discuss America’s core ideals. Let’s start with democracy, I guess.” This will probably take me through the night.

“Um, there are no nobles, so don’t call me John the Second.”

“John Junior?”

“No, just John.” He nods.

I continue. “A democracy is the type of government that America runs. Like monarchy or uh, whatever deitydom’s governments are called…”

“Deitency.”

“Oh cool. So yeah, in democracies, the people can elect their leader…”

I don’t think he got it, but he seems interested at least. I decide to switch to freedom after I begin to repeat myself four hours later. I don’t want a repeat of Prince Aleu’ie.

Freedom and equality are easily understood, and he promises to move Venerai towards it. Uh, okay…I don’t know how it’s going to work in a fanatical empire like Venerai, so I offer help if he needs it. For some reason, he immediately accepts, so now he’s preparing to take a group of diplomats and lawmakers to help. As for me, I’m fucking tired. It’s four in the morning! I can barely stand!

Alseni isn’t tired at all, no wonder he hasn’t heard of coffee. Also because there’s no coffee plants in this world, but that’s besides the point. Before he leaves, he asks when he should come back to discuss other things and to report on the equalization process, but I just mumble a random time. I honestly can’t remember what I said because after that, I rush to bed. Luckily, this whole meeting took place outside the White House. Davis yells at me when I enter the building, but I stumble past him and collapse on a bed.

The next morning, I learn that I collapsed on Davis’ bed. And that I set the meeting for next year, which confused Alseni greatly. After I eat breakfast—a piece of toast—I have to call the team leader of the Venerai Equalization group to tell Alseni the meeting is now scheduled for next week.

The leader, Ethan, picks up after a few seconds. “Mr. President.”

“Yes, hello. First of all, please tell Alseni that the meeting is not for next year, but for next week.”

He chuckles. “I figured. Though, Alseni seemed to have taken it at face value.”

Something tells me Alseni’s not the most social dragonair. “And another thing, how’re you doing? What’s teleporting like? And the capital?”

“Well, teleporting just felt like standing in the same place, though the air got a bit cooler. But you will not believe what just happened.”

He sounds…less panicked and more confused. A good thing?

“Alseni blew a bunch of church people up?” I don’t expect the religious people in Venerai to take very kindly to a change in policy.

“No, the opposite. When we arrived at his house, Renairis Palace—by the way, everything’s white and they have magic lights—he told us to find someone named Henas. She’s the Minister of Foreign Affairs, looks like a dragon with two legs. Kinda a shock, because I thought dragonair would look somewhat like Alseni, but apparently he’s an outlier. I mean he’s immortal, what did I expect. Anyway! The rooms are nice, the chef is gone for some reason so the food is terrible, but that’s not the important part!”

If it’s not important why are you telling me about it…

“Alseni used some magic to communicate with the whole deitydom and immediately declared the end of the Species Extermination Program. And we were shocked. We expected mass rioting but everyone, including the priests, just…went along with it.”

“But it’s not like their prejudices just went away,” a woman who I recognize as Miranda chimes in from farther away. “It’s just that…they stopped lynching and enslaving other species. Though the current slaves haven’t been released yet, there needs to be whole program for that. But it’s…unsettling how quickly the people did a 180.”

I give my judgement. “Probably some kind of mass brainwashing.”

“Yeah, probably.” Ethan agrees. “But only on the masses, because none of the ministers seems brainwashed. From what we can tell anyway.”

“Well, it’s worrying, to say the least. What do you think of Venerai so far?”

There’s a pause. Then Miranda neutrally responds, “I don’t know yet. We would have to wander around the capital and other cities to investigate further. But we’re not built for that.”

“No, but the CIA is.”