Sarai was a beautiful kind girl, I’d never forgotten what she’d done for me years ago.

Four years earlier….

“Michael! Michael where are you?!” A voice tore through the night. I didn’t want to go back … I couldn’t go back.

“Michael!” The voice rang again. She was looking for me, but she’d make me go back to that place. It was so dark, empty,vast and I was continually stopped there this was where my heart dwelled, where my internal self cried out, where I was afraid I’d die. Where did this place come from? Why did I call it my home? All of it was created by me it’s where I went when they fought, where I cried when they yelled at me, where I lived when their apathetic eyes stared at my tears. I wasn’t going back.

The uneven ground seemed to catch at my feet every second they touched the clumps of dirt that shifted underneath my weight. I wasn’t quite sure where I was going, I just knew I needed to escape somewhere. Even though the fall air chilled my bones, stabbing at my lungs, my face glowed red with the exertion it took to continuously push my legs forward...again she called to me. Finally the rough field gave way to a boundless meadow full of a tiny blue flower drawn like wisps, tiny little stars that reached out to comfort, without her call I slowed to catch my breath here in this sleeping place. Not long after I arrived, steps echoed through the chill night and a small girl broke through the field to squint at where she was. Her hair, though short, was puffed up in a nest of tangles, her chest heaved painstakingly as she exhaled letting out clouds of cotton as the warmth of her breath mingled with the cold crisp air. I stood still as her eyes found mine and her expression softened, as much as I would’ve liked to run I couldn’t get my the muscles in my legs to work instead I stood there frozen.

“ Michael, you had me worried” her speech was thin, and not but a second after that did she put her hands on her knees and gasped for more air.

“ Sarai, I’m not going back please don’t make me go back there” against my will, my voice quivered. I was frightened, I didn’t want to return to a place that’d make me feel so numb… I was begging not to return.

“ Michael I’m not going to tell them where you’re at, don’t worry” there was a resolve in her voice that made me trust her strong promise.

“ Just would you please stop running I hate long distances” her lips quirked into a loving smile as she looked into my face.

“ O-okay” I stuttered not really sure what to say.

When she’d caught her breath she moved over to me and took a seat in the meadow of blue flowers, then her head tilted expectantly as she looked up at my standing form. I took her invitation, and plopped down next to her pulling my knees up to my chest for the extra warmth.

“ So, tell me what happened so I can understand” she said looking over at me.

I swept my hand nervously through my sandy brown hair ‘should I tell her? She might think I’m a freak. Screw it I need it off my chest’ I’d decided to share all of what ailed me, that night every night before. I told her of my abusive father, my weak mother, my druggy uncle, my crazy aunts, and I told her of my younger sister.

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“ You know three weeks ago when I wasn’t at school?” I asked to see if she remembered.

“ Yeah I thought it was weird because the SAT’s were that week, and you weren’t there” she said.

“ My little sister M-M-M” I could hardly say her name.

“ Marianne...she passed away” I recalled the abismal memory the dark funeral, she was the only one at that point I actually cared for.

“ Oh Michael...I’m sorry” she put her hand on my shoulder, I relished the warmth of that hand.

“ It’s not like I didn’t know this day was coming” I had known for a long while that she would die young the doctors had said as much when she was born.

“ I took care of her, I fed her, held her when she cried, I was there when she woke up scared from a nightmare, or when she got sick, she was the only person I loved” I let my words free, free to the night, and free to be held by my dearest friend.

“ See she was born premature with underdeveloped lungs, and brain damage, gifts from my father… the doctors gave my mom pamphlets when she was born, but she didn’t want to look at them. I knew, I knew and I tried not to get attached, but my mom barely wanted to look at her so since I was older I was supposed to protect her...So why couldn’t I protect her from this-” my voice hitched as the tears started to flow. Suddenly I was pulled into a warm embrace, her arms covered my body not able to fully reach around. Warmth emanated from her arms, a warmth that soothed my tears I felt like a child being held by an adult I felt safe. I lingered in her embrace until my tears were gone, and I was ready to let go into the freezing cold, I felt that I lacked something when her arms weren’t around me.

“ I can’t, go back to where nobody else even cares” I said letting the last word fall on her.

I was drained after everything was said and done, there was nothing left. She looked up at the stars and silver moon that graced us with light, I watched as she chewed on every word that I had said, thinking of what to do.

“ Michael… if you want you can probably stay with us, I’d have to talk to my parents, but I’m pretty sure they’d let you stay at least for now” she said.

I was stunned ‘could people really be that nice?’ I wasn’t used to any kindness.

“ That’d be great, I’m pretty sure my mom won’t even notice, she’s too beaten down on life I guess she just doesn’t care about anything anymore” I remembered all the instances where her eyes would glaze over as she looked at my face, I knew she wasn’t seeing me, but my father or my brother… I was just a memory to her.

“ Okay just give me a sec to call and ask” she whipped out her blue cellphone, and quickly called, it was a brief discussion mainly her reassuring someone that she was okay then trying to explain our location.

The call took about 15 minutes, which to me was brief considering what she was asking.

“ Is it okay?” I asked worried that I might have to sleep outside tonight.

“ Yeah my dad was mainly worried that I was out this late, alone thank God he knows you otherwise he might’ve taken longer to convince” she said with a sigh.

“ Thanks” it was all I could say to her kindness.

From that point I lived with her family in the spare bedroom, I was warned that if I ever messed around with Sarai that nobody would find my body, which I’m not gonna lie scared me when it came to such a serious man as her father, I got a job and paid a little rent then when I turned 18 I joined the army I was still lost at that time… I think we’re all a little lost.

I can’t believe I didn’t recognize her before, or that she didn’t recognize me we were such good friends. If it weren’t for her and her family, I might have just died that day at that point I needed someone something to save me, she was the very first person to save me and Tommy was the last. Well maybe now I can return the favor, maybe now I can save her life.