Due to a staggering 8/0/1 vote in only the first hour it was up I decided to proceed with the original. Btw I forgot to mention that wishing for more was also out of the question, that was a rule that was so obvious i felt i didnt have to state it, but I guess I do anyway. As to things akin to altering reality those are too close to divinity. Such as pocket dimensions and other things.
For realz now, Without further adieu here it is...
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"You have done well surviving and reaching this point young mortal. To reward you I shall grand you three wishes, however there are limits. You cannot wish for more wishes, true love or anything that alters reality." The genie said, his voice resounding throughout the chamber.
Hmm that ruined some of my plans, but no matter, a forward thinker always has some backup plans.
"Ok." I said." Before proceeding I must know, would anything I ask for be able to affect you?"
My intentions were simple, I would ask for the ability to convince anything of anything, for example convince a rock that it is a pop singer or in a more practical sense, convince the genie to give me more wishes. This would not be wishing for them and would therefore not be against the rules.
His voice rumbled out a few moments later, declaring my hopes useless. "No, any power given to you would apply to things of your level and below; no higher beings would be included amongst the effects."
I thought for a moment more, and asked calmly "Can I wish for you to remove that restriction?" To which the genie answered the obvious "no". It appeared that restrictions on the wishes were set in stone, and could not be changed, even with other wishes.
The genie appeared annoyed by my attempted evasion and exploitation of the wishing system, but he had patience enough to wait for me to announce my first wish.
"I wish for the ability to control probability" I said, very matter of factly. It wasn't against the rules, nor was it explicitly explained what I wanted to be able to do.
The genie paused for a moment, then shook his head, saying
"Denied mortal. You have no right to dictate to the universe what should happen."
At the failure of that, I feel back onto my wildcard. The one which I had high hopes for but ultimately could be useless if I was wrong about humans.
"I wish, for the ability to release a human's, myself included, potential."
It appeared that I would have to abandon the plans for universal conquest and be content with a limited scale conquest, and expand later.
The genie contemplated for a moment. He knew as well as I did that the potential for human beings was almost limitless given time. He grumbled for a few moments and then accepted the wish.
"Granted," He roared,"With conditions. This power cannot used on more then ten people aside from yourself. Once used the power cannot be taken away, and another person may not be fully unlocked until an original holder dies."
Only ten people? I sighed internally, but ten would suit my needs just fine. After all, an "unlocked" human would be incomparably more intelligent and incomparably more useful then those who were not unlocked.
"Fully?" I asked, confirming why that word was added at the end of his sentence.
"Yes," It nodded. Apparently it wasn't going to explain further then that at this point in time, so I let it be and simply went on to the second wish.
"I wish to be able to make them completely loyal to me. To the point where they would give their life, their families life, their dogs life, and the life of their entire planet simply because I implied I wanted them to. Such a deep seated loyalty, that even if I were to die, the control would not be relinquished. No, instead of control simply the inability to have anything other then eternal loyalty to me and wish to serve me. That is what I wish for."
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The genie grumbled again, then granted me the power which I had asked for.
"Done, with the same conditions as the previous wish. No person can be "fully" loyal until a previous holder dies."
He was implying that to a certain extent i was able to "partially" unlock somebody while "partially" making them completely loyal to me, this was an added bonus on top of the ten people. Of course these people could not be completely trusted, however some sense of "absolute" loyalty would be imparted upon them.
And finally, the one I had been waiting for,
"I wish to be able to give immortality to myself and others." The genie nodded, and I started celebrating. My hopes and dreams -"No"- had just been... wait what?
"No?" I repeated after the genie. He nodded again, and started to explain,
"Through time all things come. If you were given unlimited potential and immortality, eventually you would reach godhood. That is not allowed, as it would change the natural law. Instead I can offer you the inability to die from age, or the inability to die from mortal wounds. The two cannot coexist however, even if one were to use two separate wishes on them, the universe does not allow it." I started to curse in my head. This fucking guy tells me this NOW of all times, not at the start. I had been building up to this, and yet here he stands cock-blocking my ability to become a god.
Like he said however, through time all things come, so of the two options he presented I decided to go with the eternal youth part, as I am confident that my subordinates (meat shields) will prevent me from dying.
"I take eternal youth, and the ability to pass it off to another." I said, expecting the same 'ten person' and partial rule, and yet this time I get something different.
"Granted, with conditions. You and three other people you grant it to shall now be immune to aging. For the ones whom it is granted to, theirs is only temporary, and if they are away from you for a period of time (a month or two) they will start to age normally." The genie said, very blandly
So basically I have to choose three people among my ten, to save?
"If they die I am assuming that I will be able to give it to another person?" I asked, just to be sure.
The genie held out his hand as if to stop my train of thought.
"That is only if they die in combat. If they die of age, that slot shall forever be filled, and you will never be able to replace them. Do cherish those under you, the other beings around you are not simply tools for your enjoyment. If you treat them as such, karma will avenge them. Especially if you lead them into an unjust death such as suicide. Head my words mortal, the forces you are trifling with cannot be changed by my petty powers. Now then, begone from my realm, and use your powers wisely..."
At its last words, my vision faded to black, the genie slowly started disappearing, its last words and posture burning themselves into my memory.
Its a weird feeling, being slowly engulfed into darkness, loosing your mind to the ravaging emptiness, endlessly falling through space as I returned to my original place on earth. My body went numb, and I started suffocating. It had occurred to me that there was no air in between dimensions. That was the first time I had been teleported, and I would never forget it...