September 16

Thank goodness Mom and Dad are alright. I thought they had died or gotten hurt out there because it had taken them forever to get back. This is why not having phones and the internet is a nightmare.

Mom and Dad left together in the morning, bundled up in sweaters and old ski jackets, because today was colder than the rest of the days, probably since the fall equinox is coming up this Thursday as the days get shorter and shorter. The sky was still bright and clear, but in the past few days, the winds have slowed, and I'm wondering if it's the end of this respite from the ash storms. Things have been too good with the weather, and there's no chance that the universe will let this break continue forever. There are probably some places on the West Coast that are frozen and snowed in right now, and it's only a matter of time.

Mom and Mira renegotiated the terms of gun use. Thank goodness Mom isn't at the point where she's allowing everyone to carry guns all around the house, but she's allowed Mira to have the safe with the gun unlocked and opened to have easy access in case that we needed to defend ourselves from any looters. I know that it makes Mira happy that she can help people, but I wish she could do it some other way that doesn't involve guns or just the potential to hurt someone, like working at a soup station or a city council volunteer.

May wanted to sleep in today, so while she snored in the living room, Mira and I played cards in our old room. It was pretty awkward and silent, especially after everything yesterday.

"I feel like you're avoiding talking to me," Mira said, finally breaking the silence.

I nodded awkwardly because there was no good way to respond to that. And it was true, I guess I was avoiding talking with her a bit, mostly because I didn't understand what she meant by "non-magazine" people, as if she knew that I was thinking about the guy in the magazine. Or maybe she was just talking about life in general and telling me how I should stop burying my face in books and start exploring real life around me. But either way, I was too scared to ask for clarification because I didn't want her to push the question.

"Do you know where Dad put his poker set?" Mira asked. "It might be fun to learn, and maybe May will join us to play."

"Poker? Isn't that super illegal to play?"

"Only if you use real money," Mira replied with a devilish grin. "Which we are totally not going to do."

"So much for making sure people don't break the law," I said. "Anyways, I think that it's in Dad's bedroom, maybe under the bed."

"How about you go and find the poker set from Mom and Dad's room while I go and wake May up since it's pretty late now?"

"I can go wake May up," I said and stood up a bit too quickly.

I know it's a bit irrational, but I don't want to go anywhere near the safe, especially since it's open, just in case the gun spontaneously combusts and just shoots a bullet out of nowhere. But I guess also that I don't really want to get used to the idea of just having guns being casually carried around at home because it'll be like the situation with the raiders in the ash storm. One slip of the finger, one moment of forgetfulness with the safety, one slip-up, and then, that's it, especially with the state of disrepair with the hospitals.

"Is this about the gun?" Mira asked. "You know the safety is on, right? Nothing bad is going to happen."

I shrugged, though if I was being truthful, I should've nodded. "I'll go get May. She'll probably be less mad if I wake her up from her beauty sleep since she might still be mad."

And before Mira could reply, I left. I could've been honest with her, and I guess it's something important, so I probably should've been honest. It's just that I don't want her to feel guilty about what she's doing because it's something that makes her happy, and it's her way of coping with the death of the couple. Maybe it's time for me to just get over my fear, so that everyone else can be happy about it.

After a couple of minutes, Mira lugged the giant poker set with all the chips in it. We didn't really know how to play, but we tried our best to keep ourselves distracted. We even upgraded the stakes of the game when May decided to empty out a piggy bank, and all of our chips were backed by monetary value. But as time ticked on, we all got nervous, Mira looking out of the window constantly and May losing her gleeful laugh even as she kept winning. By one, Mira was fed up.

"I'm going to check on Mom and Dad," Mira said suddenly, grabbing and holstering the gun, before putting on a mask and leaving the house, leaving me and May behind at home along with Grandma and Grandpa.

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"What's happening?" May asked, looking out of the window, as if she could see the city council building.

"I don't know," I said.

"Mom and Dad should be okay, right?" May said, reaching for her pocket, even though her phone wasn't there, before huffing. "I wish the Moon could just disappear and leave my life alone."

She turned towards me, and her voice cracked a bit. "Do you think I'm going to make it to sixteen?"

"Of course," I said. "So that you can drive Mom and Dad everywhere instead of me because there's no way that the universe will be cruel enough to subject me to that fate."

"I'm being serious here," she said. "What do you think? And I don't want all of that 'everything's going to be fine and great' BS."

"I feel like you want me to say no," I said.

"Is that what you think?"

There was a long moment of silence because I didn't really know how to respond. I could've said that we were going to be alright, and May would probably scoff and call me a liar, or I could've said that we were all going to die, and then May would do something risky, like go house looting. So I stuck with my default answer or really our default answer.

"I don't know," I said.

"I should've let Mom celebrate my sweet sixteen early," May said. "We're actually doomed."

"Don't say that," I replied, but by the time that I finished talking, she had gone back to pacing around the living room and staring at her nails, now slightly chipped.

By the time we hit five, all of us were basically in full blown panic, and May wanted to go out to see if Mom and Dad were alright, but I told her not to because she could get lost or worse. Even Grandma and Grandpa started pestering us with questions about where Mom and Dad were, and all I could say is that I didn't know, which (unsurprisingly) is one of the few phrases I actually remember how to say in Chinese.

I guess at that moment, I sort of started planning how we were going to live without Mom and Dad and Mira. I know it's morbid, but I thought that without Mom or Dad or Mira, the rest of us would probably have enough food to make it to May's sixteenth birthday. Of course we'd probably freeze to death first since May and I would probably be the world's worst wood gatherers, and there's the whole water situation too. But still, I couldn't help thinking about it like that. Maybe that's another way that the Moon has changed all of us.

By the time it was nine, the sky was pitch black, and we had both stopped our uncontrolled pacing around and were just sitting on the couch, staring at the flickering fire.

"Stop biting your nails," I said to May.

She grumbled and looked at the fire. "Why is everyone disappearing? First, it's all of my friends and now Mom and Dad are gone too. It's like I'm going to mysteriously vanish soon too."

"Mom and Dad should be fine," I said.

"Can you cover for me tomorrow?" she asked. "If Mom and Dad don't make it back, we're going to need more supplies."

She then paused before adding, "Actually, never mind that first part. If Mom and Dad don't make it back, you won't need to cover for me, freedom and independence and everything."

"Stop thinking about this."

"Well I can't, and you can't stop me," she replied. "We need to prepare, just in case Mom or Dad gets hurt, and we can't avoid that because it just will happen."

"What we really need to prepare is a good way of dealing with the axe situation because—" I said before being cut off by a loud knocking on the door.

We both looked at the door, and a whole flurry of thoughts ran through my mind. It ranged from the most reasonable (Mom, Dad, and Mira being all alive and well) to hopefully less reasonable (A random person informing us about what happened to the three of them) to hoping that it'll never come true (A looter holding them hostage or just a polite looter). Then, I hear Dad shout, "It's us."

So we both rushed to the door, and Mom, Dad, and Mira hustled in, all of them sweaty and tired. "What took you guys so long?" May asked.

"We are never going back to the plaza again," Mom said. "Never."

"What happened?" I asked.

"We got trapped in the square," Dad said. "There was a large crowd of people, all very angry, especially all the homeless people from the earthquakes, protesting in front of the city hall. I think the mayor already left because he didn't show."

"You guys should've just left," May said.

"Too angry. They were already looking at the people standing around the edges of the plaza and some of them were being followed as they left because if those people weren't angry enough to protest, they definitely have food," Mom said. "And I wasn't going to lead them to us. It was risky staying back in the plaza, but far more dangerous if they managed to follow us back."

"We had to protest along with them," Mira said. "When I came, Mom and Dad had joined the crowd and I joined them."

"We stayed until it was dark," Mom said. "Because that's when they started lighting the fires—"

"They burned down city hall?" I asked.

"No," Dad said. "I don't know. We left when they started lighting them since there was chaos and it was too dark to see anything. Right now, it's too dark to tell what happened. We'll be able to see in the morning from the smoke if they burned it down."

"The sun set at literally seven, and it's nine right now," May said. "What took so long?"

"Scenic route," Mira said. "Just to be extra careful."

"So, you guys are fine?"

"We're going to have to make some new rules in the next few days, but we are alright," Mom replied.

"Good," May said with a small sigh, which seriously understated how much panic she was in a couple minutes ago.

Then, all of us sat down to have dinner like nothing was wrong. It's scary how we just moved on from this, like nearly dying was just an everyday occasion. At the same time, maybe it's best that we didn't talk about what happened today and just pretended everything is all fine. If we just keep living this lie, everything, at least, might feel more alright.

I just hope that everything will be alright.