July 30

Leon tagged along with all of us to the food drive.

Dad was trying his best to be nice to Leon today. I mean, even I would at least try to get to know the person that may become your son-in-law. Before we headed out to grab our weekly bag of canned food, Dad offered an air-mask to Leon, almost a kind of olive branch.

"Here," Dad said gruffly. "Take this."

Mom smiled approvingly.

"It's alright mister— Sorry, Avi," Leon said. "You guys have already done so much for me. I've got my own stash of air-masks."

"No, I insist," Mom said. "We're the hosts and you're our—"

"I've got plenty of masks. Don't worry about it," Leon said.

"But—"

"Mom," May said. "Leon doesn't need any air-masks. He's got his own. You guys don't need to keep doing this pointless 'I insist' battle. C'mon let's go."

"Okay, great," Dad said. "Let's go."

We walked down the empty sidewalks. Mom in front with Grandma and Grandpa. May and I behind them, crammed in the middle. Dad, Mira, and Leon hanging out in the back. The houses all around us were abandoned, or at least looked so. There was no movement inside of them, no fluttering of curtains or flickering of candles or anything. Just complete stillness.

Occasionally, you would see some movement around the houses. In some of the houses we passed, the curtains were billowing as the wind blew, but if you looked closer, you'd realize that the windows were smashed, and the house was more likely than not looted. The kitchen cabinets would be flung wide open, and any valuables would be long gone. I wonder if Charles and his family need to do that to survive.

Dad made sure that we stayed close to each other, especially when we went downtown. It had been two weeks since the mayor's speech, and with food running thin, people's memories of that nice speech may be fading away. Last week seemed too calm to be true, so this week, Dad was extra wary.

We passed by the looted buildings and smashed windows of cafes. The shops that were looted had a couple of chairs thrown around, and all the glass was broken. It felt like the people weren't looting the store, but just smashing all the glass containers and windows because they're angry at the mayor or the president or the Moon.

When Dad wasn't looking around for rifles or other guns, he was busy talking with Leon. Leon had checked one box in his approval sheet, which was being a Democrat, but Dad wanted to know more. The more cynical part of me wants to think that the only reason Dad was talking with Leon was because Dad wanted to find some flaw with Leon and somehow get Mira to dump him, but the more hopeful part tells me that Dad was talking with Leon to make up for the past few days.

"What was your major in college?" Dad asked.

"Journalism," he said.

"You want to work for the New York Times someday?"

"Maybe when the world goes back to normal," he said. "But I'm probably going to work for the local newspaper just because it's close to home."

"Any particular writing focus?"

"I did sports journalism back in high school for our local team," he said. "Right now, I'm more interested in the environmental stuff."

"What sports do you watch?"

"I watched mostly volleyball and basketball, some baseball, not a whole bunch of football since the rules are pretty confusing," he replied. "What about you?"

"Football only," Dad said. "And sometimes the finals of basketball."

"That's cool," he said. "You watch the Niners?"

"They're terrible," Dad said. "Quarterback is bad, defense is bad, offense is bad. Our family is from New England, so Patriots all the way for us."

"What about basketball?"

"Warriors," Dad said. "They're decent. Used to support the Celtics, but..."

"Yeah," Leon said. "They're not that great."

"So, what about your family?" Dad asked. "You guys from California?"

"Born and raised here," Leon said. "Inland, though. The northern part of the Central Valley."

"Were there lots of farms and orchards?" Dad asked.

"Yeah," Leon said. "Pretty much everywhere. Lots of fruit trees and almonds, especially. Our family grew cherries, but we had a small garden for other smaller things, like tomatoes and squashes."

"Did you guys go to church?" May asked all of a sudden.

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"I mean, yeah," Leon said. "My parents were the religious ones. My brother and I just went along because it was just a habit to go to church, you know."

"I mean, I believe in God," Leon added. "But I'm not like super church-going or that anymore."

"And you think he's watching over us or something?" May asked. "So he's just standing there and watching us suffer and having all of our friends killed by the tidal waves and choking us with ash—"

"May," Mom said. "You need to watch your tone."

"What?" she said. "I'm being honest."

"I don't believe that God's up there, watching and changing the world," Leon said. "Some people believe that, but that doesn't really align with my faith. I just believe that there's something higher than me, you know. Some higher power or creator. It's kinda hard to explain."

"Yeah," May said. "I didn't get anything you just said."

"Faith is complicated," Mira said.

"No, duh," May said. "No need to state the obvious."

Everyone walked in a pretty awkward silence after that. We arrived in the plaza, but there were only ten or twelve people there. It was pretty empty, but I think it was because we arrived a bit late. Piles of damp ash laid on the lawn in front of the building. We waited in line until it was our turn. Dad gave the man at the gate all the IDs and proof of residency form.

"ID?" the man asked Leon.

"Oh," he said. "I—"

"He's a guest of ours," Dad said.

"Out of town?" the man asked.

"Does it matter?" Dad said.

"Only residents are able to pick up food," the man said. "That's all that we can afford now."

"He's only going to be here for a week," Dad said.

"Sorry," the man said. "No exceptions."

So we walked and grabbed seven bags of food. I peeked inside. There were only four cans per bag, far from the dozens we received in the beginning. "That's not a lot of food," Leon said.

"We make do with what we have," Mom said. "It's best not to talk about food over here. Too many people watching."

We walked out of the center as fast as we could. Grandma's knee was working better, so we walked briskly home. The sky was dark gray, but I didn't think there was going to be an ashfall today.

When we walked into the house, Leon turned towards us. "Is this how much food you guys have been receiving every week?"

"It used to be more," Mira replied.

"But this isn't enough for someone to survive on for weeks on end."

"We've got a lot of stored food," Dad said. "We're going to be fine."

"And the food you've given us will be very helpful," Mom added. "Thank you."

Leon looked worried. I was too. Doing two cans a day will mean that the food will only last two days before running out. We're fortunate enough to have lots of food stored up, but some other people are less fortunate. I hope Charles' family is alright.

July 31

In the middle of the morning, I had just realized that Leon had been here for a week. Leon and Mira were talking in the bedroom, and I was walking towards the bathroom when I heard them talking.

"Mira," Leon said. "We have to talk about it."

Mira sighed. "Now's not the right time."

"Please," he said. "I'm not talking about the marriage proposal—"

"I know," she said, cutting him off. "It's just. I just can't make this decision right now."

"I know," he replied. "But we've got to make it soon. Next Sunday, we're all going to be leaving for New Mexico, and I want you to come with me."

"But why can't you stay here with me," she said. "Our house has got food, we've got shelter, we're by the ocean, so winters are going to be milder than if we go to New Mexico."

"Mira, you're the smartest person I know. It's the middle of summer, and it's forty-degrees outside. Who knows how bad it's going to get in winter?" he asked. "New Mexico has got natural gas. Texas is right next to them, and they've got oil and power. It's going to be warmer down there too."

Mira sighed deeply. There was a moment of silence. I was just standing awkwardly in the hallway, leaning against the wall. I knew it was wrong to listen to, but I did it anyway. I just had to know.

"What about our family?" Mira said. "Could we come with you guys?"

Leon inhaled sharply. "I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I don't know. Everything was just so chaotic," he said. "Maybe. I'll see what I can do with my family."

"You didn't think of my family," Mira said. "What if we were starving?"

There was a rustle. Leon probably ran his hands through his hair. "I didn't have time," he said. "I knew that we were going to leave eventually, but I didn't expect it to be so soon."

"So what do we do now?" Mira asked.

"Do you think you can convince your family to leave?" he asked. "I know it's going to be hard, but just tell them that it's better in the South and that my family has got food and gas if we can make it down there. And I might be able to talk to my family to figure it out."

"My parents are going to be a problem. Dad won't go if everything isn't completely figured out," Mira said. "Mom too. They're both too jaded. Hope has never been a strong suit for either one of them. They won't even consider leaving unless the whole plan is laid out or they're desperate enough to take a chance."

There was a stream of whispered swear words from Leon.

"What about you bringing your family to our house?" Mira asked.

"We'll be too much of a drain on your resources, and when the weather gets cold, we'll all starve together," he said. "You guys have enough food right now to last till spring if your weekly deliveries keep happening and ration carefully. With my family in the mix, you won't even make it till the end of winter."

There was a long sigh. "What do we do?"

"I wish I knew."

"And you guys can't wait?"

"With the way the weather is going, we might be snowed in before we can reach Arizona."

"It's the middle of summer though."

"Who knows how the ashfall has changed the weather? Maybe it'll stay sunny, and we'll be fine if we stay, but if it snows, then we'll be trapped."

There was a moment of silence, just soft breathing, and everything was still.

"So this is it," Mira said. "It's our goodbye then."

"I don't know."

There was a pause.

"You know, you sound just like Neal," she said. "You're always saying that you don't know even though somewhere in you, you do know."

"He's a smart kid," Leon said. "Sometimes, we just don't know the right answers."

There was some rustling in the room, and the floorboards creaked. Someone stood up. There was this tense silence in the house.

"I think I know the solution to our problem," Leon announced. "Love. It's the solution to everything."

"God, you sound like one of those cliche characters in the movies that say that love will cure everything."

"Maybe it will," Leon said and they shared a chuckle. "So you'll try convincing your dad?"

"I'll try."

"You know that I love you."

"Of course," she said. "I love you too."

There was a brief smooching before the door began to creak. I tried walking down the hallway as naturally as possible to make sure they didn't think that I was eavesdropping on their conversation.

"Oh hey, Neal," Mira said.

"I'm just heading for the restroom," I said. "Everything alright?"

"Of course," she said. "We were just talking about what we'd do if college started again."

"Okay," I said and walked away. "Hope you had fun."

Mira lied to me then. I thought being honest about the important things was one of her values. I guess Mira and I do have something in common.