Chapter 25
4 Years Three Months Post Alien Apocalypse, or 0004 P. A. A.
Aftermath
Sleeping in the back of the Land Rover, Ian was dimly aware of several vehicles showing up the next morning. His psychic helmet made his neck ache as he listened to a tearful family reunion with Tomi.
Crazy Steve and Ted stopped them from waking Ian. Then the Land Rover was moving.
The next time Ian awoke, he was in a bed. The handcuffs were gone, but the helmet was still firmly attached to his head.
His nose wasn't bleeding, his head only hurt a little, he was starving, and he really needed to go to the bathroom.
There were no windows, but he could sense from the minds of people nearby that it was morning and a couple of days had gone by.
He got up. One of the doors opened to a small washroom. After cleaning himself the best he could, he tried the room's second door, only to find it was locked. He was being held prisoner.
Ian could have freed himself through a number of means, but he had enough problems without Captain Bradley finding out how worthless his psychic suppression helmet was.
He pounded on the door, ignoring the tiny camera looking down at him from the ceiling.
There was a beeping noise next to his bed.
Ian picked up the cell-phone, swiped past BG's screensaver: Carpe de Alien. Seize that alien! And answered the phone.
“Yes.”
“Ian Anderson. I take it you're feeling better.”
“Captain Bradley. Why am I locked up?”
“Well, Ian, we did what your friend Steve requested, which was to let you sleep off whatever it is you were dealing with. Steve's fine, by the way. I think he and Ted found the nearest bar. The lock is there for your safety, so nobody bothered you while you were sleeping. Would you like some breakfast?”
“What I'd like is to get out of this fucking room, and yes, I'm starving.”
A few minutes later, a key turned in the lock, and the door opened.
It was Captain Bradley's man, Levi.
Levi led him through a comfortable-looking house to a pleasant room with a table. A housekeeper brought him coffee and a plate overflowing with eggs, toast, and thick slices of squeaking monster-sausage. He was so hungry he ate every bit.
To Ian's surprise, the monster-sausage tasted good.
Looking out the windows, he could see people going about their business in the central fort of Little. The peace had been restored.
Levi yawned, watching Ian from the doorway. The Captain's assurances to the contrary, it was clear to Ian he was little more than a prisoner. The weight of his psychic suppression helmet made his head ache.
Like Ian, Levi had Kityskin armor. Unlike Ian, he was larger and a lot stronger. Ian couldn't help noticing Levi had an internal mind shield, making it obvious why he'd been chosen to guard Ian.
Ian stood up and sighed, feeling much better. “Let's go see Captain Bradley.”
He followed Levi downstairs and through a hall and into a small office.
“Have a seat. The Captain will join you shortly.”
Ian sat down and waited.
Seconds later, the office door flew open and two girls rushed in. The older one was around Ian's age, a couple of inches taller, and quite pretty. The younger was eleven. Without her armor, the little brat almost looked like a normal human girl.
“Hi Tomi,” Ian said, standing up.
“Told you Ian was awake,” Tomi said, arms folded across her chest, glaring at Ian like an angry bulldog. “He still doesn't look like much and I did not need his help.”
“That's right Tomi,” the older girl said, “but it was nice of him to help you just the same. Good to meet you, Ian. I'm Teresa. Our sister Ashley would be here, but she's still recovering from her head injury.”
“Ashley's afraid of psychics,” Tomi said.
Maybe because she is one, and she doesn't want anyone to find out. Ian thought, amused.
“I believe my granddaughters were leaving.” A gray-haired man in a military uniform entered. “Me and Ian have business to discuss, in private.”
Captain Bradley glared at Levi standing by the door. “They weren't supposed to meet.” He said, referring to his granddaughters.
Levi shrugged. There wasn't much he could do if Tomi wanted to go somewhere.
Teresa hugged Ian and whispered in his ear. “Thank you so much for saving my sister, Ian. Twice.”
“You were going to read to me, Grandpa,” Tomi said. She held up a battered old Dr Seuss book titled Hop On Pop.
“Not right now, Tomi. I have too much to do. I'll read to you this evening, I promise.”
Tomi glared. “Stupid Ian.”
Ian shrugged, amused by the interaction.
“Ian is our guest, Tomi,” Captain Bradley said. “Be nice, and since you both obviously have nothing to do, the north wall construction crew could use help with heavy lifting. Levi, perhaps you could escort them.”
Teresa smiled and waved goodbye. Tomi sniffed, and bumped into Ian as she left. It was like he'd been bumped by a four-foot-tall brick wall.
“Sick of rebuilding the stupid north wall,” Tomi said.
“I got a bag of M&Ms,” Levi said. “I'll share it with you once you're finished.”
“I love M&Ms,” Tomi responded.
Once the three of them left, Ian sat down again. “I want to leave as much as you want to be rid of me. Let's do this.”
“Sorry about Tomi,” Captain Bradley said. “I love that girl, but she can be a handful.” He pulled out a pack of cigarettes. “Mind if I smoke?”
Ian shrugged. “Go ahead.”
Captain Bradley pulled out a cigarette lighter. “I quit for years, but then aliens invaded. At least lung cancer isn't a problem anymore.” He lit up and inhaled, blowing smoke into the room. “So Ian, when you were in the blue room with BG in the beginning, what did you ask for?”
“I thought that was obvious,” Ian said. “I requested the full psychic package. The two psychic gifts BG offered.”
“That's it? No physical upgrades? Weapons skills?”
“That's it. Obviously, if I could do it over, I might have done things differently. Why?”
“I believe BG rewards sacrifice. You're very strong psychically, but you sacrificed any physical improvements. Before the aliens came, Tomi would read me that book she was holding. She was a bright six-year-old. BG changed that. In Tomi's case, BG was very generous with physical improvements and weapons, but Tomi lost the ability to read, along with around thirty IQ points. My other two granddaughters went with more standard warrior princess builds.”
The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.
It seemed Captain Bradley didn't know about Ashley's psychic gift. Ian wasn't about to tell him.
“Look,” Ian said. “I have an unspoken agreement with every town and enclave I drive through. I go where I want. In return, I leave people alone and I don't damage anything I don't have to. If you pull this stunt again, I won't sneak into town and save your asses. I'll leave you guys to it. I might help the survivors after aliens destroy this town, or I might not.”
Captain Bradley, to his credit, didn't even blink. “You do what you have to do and I'll do the same.” He pulled out a small leather bag and put it on the desk. “Here's one hundred thousand credits. The reward for Clancy's death or capture, which you've more than earned. Again, I apologize for how we treated you, but after what just happened, I don't think I have to explain why psychics make me nervous.” Captain Bradley leaned forward, studying Ian from behind his office desk. ”Is there any way you could find people like Clancy? so they can be dealt with. If not, I'm sure this will happen again.”
Ian sighed. “I do what I can. Clancy had the sense to stay away from me. He couldn't sense me, but he could read the minds of all the people who seem to be keeping track of my activities. Most psychics I've encountered are decent people, trying to get by. But yes, I do keep an eye on things. Every so often, I encounter someone who's going to hurt or kill people if I don't do anything. When this happens, I take care of it.”
“Take care of it, how?” Captain Bradley asked.
“I take care of it,” Ian said.
“Maybe if you could show up to places unannounced, in disguise?” Captain Bradley said. “I could help. I even have a guy in Kityskin armor who could pass for you from a distance and take your place from time to time, make it look like you're somewhere you're not.”
“Maybe,” Ian said. “In the meantime, I'd say you owe me big. You can keep your reward money, but there are things I want.”
“What do you want?”
Ian told him.
***
A cold breeze blew through the rocky hills, and the late afternoon sun created long shadows, bringing a chill to the air. After his long hike in the foothills, Ian was drenched with sweat and gasping for breath. If he rested here for too long, he'd be freezing.
It was hard to tell because each of the aliens had five eyes around their center, but the three, five-foot-tall, cylindrical bibi seemed to be eyeing him in an unfriendly manner. The three were joined by two more, then the five started jumping up and down and beeping. Never a good sign. At least his psychic suppression helmet had been removed, so there was that.
Ian watched them from where he'd collapsed on the ground, trying to catch his breath. Hours of hiking the hills around Little had worn him out.
“You've got the most glass-cannon character build I have ever seen,” Levi said, jogging back to Ian. He'd just run up a nearby hill to check their perimeter before jogging back again and he wasn't even breathing hard. “You're good at the psychic stuff, but one of these days a monster is going to sneeze in your direction and take your head off.”
“I know,” Ian said, gasping for breath. What was embarrassing was after eating gold happy-bouncy-berries from the small round bush that alien had turned into when they'd killed it, he was feeling stronger than usual. “Could you kill those things?” He motioned towards the five bibi.
“Why don't you mind-kill them?” Levi asked.
“I could,” Ian said between breaths, “but it would be tricky. Each bibi has five brains, and I'm concentrating on something else, so will you please just kill them.”
“Okay, no problem,” Levi said. Not bothering to take his pack off, he rushed the five bibi, and with five swings of his sword, he cut the bibis in half before they could move. They emitted plaintive beeps before dying.
Ian slowly sat up. “Thing is, people with super strength are a dime a dozen, but I'm the only one I've met who even comes close to being able to do what I can do.”
“I didn't know what was going on in the blue room,” Levi said, relaxing next to Ian. “I took the first two gifts BG offered me, Iron-Eyes, and Regeneration, figured whatever, I wanted to get back to sleep or something. But it worked out. I'm not as strong as some people, but with regeneration I never get tired and I'm hard to kill. As long as I keep eating, I can go forever. With Iron Eyes I can see through illusions, and once I put some stat points into it, it comes with a great mind shield. You were bluffing the other night about being able to mind-kill the four of us, weren't you?”
“No comment,” Ian responded. “During that big battle three days ago, I sensed you and Ashley fighting that Kitykity. I'd have helped you if I could. I'm glad you survived.”
“Yeah. That thing was terrifying.” Levi's hand shook as he pulled out a large chunk of monster sausage. It squeaked when he took a bite out of it, its insect-like legs moving back and forth. “But enough about me. The reason people are scared of you, Ian, is they know what they'd be doing if they were in your place. Clancy was a shit, and I'd have killed him if I could, but there was nothing wrong with his taste in women.”
“11-year-old Tomi?” Ian asked, laughing. “Yuck.”
Levi laughed. “Oh hell no. Even if Tomi was old enough, I feel sorry for the guy who hooks up with her. Clancy was there for Teresa. You met Teresa this morning. If I had your gift, she's who I'd go for. I got to ask, Ian, what do you do for sex?”
“You're being awfully personal,” Ian said, sighing. He stared off into the distance. This was not a question he enjoyed answering. “It's not like you think. I'm not a god who can sleep with whoever he feels like. Clancy lived in fear. When I looked into his mind, I could tell he was terrified. He knew it was a matter of time before someone caught up to him, but he couldn't help himself. I do not want to live like that. I work hard to stay on good terms with the communities I go through because I got enough people trying to kill me as it is.”
Ian stood up. His legs ached from all the hiking, but other than that, he was okay.
“So you never have sex?” Levi asked.
“I wouldn't say that. I could tell you a few stories, and I have a sorta girlfriend. But she wants to get married and have kids. I can't deal with that right now.”
“You know, we'd move faster if I carried you,” Levi said.
“Fortunately, we're almost there. In that battle three days ago, one of the Kitykity released something when it died. Whatever it was fell into the rocks and ran off.”
Ian had requested Captain Bradley's help in getting into the foothills so he could find the damn thing. Levi had been the Captain's response.
“What do you suppose it is?” Levi asked.
“No idea, but Kitykity don't usually drop shit when they die, so I think it's important to find out.” Ian staggered over to a small crevice and reached inside.
“You sure that's safe?” Levi asked.
“Slightly sure,” Ian answered. “I put it to sleep.” He felt around until his hand encountered a tentacle. He grabbed it and pulled, slowly dragging it out into the open.
“What the fuck is that?” Levi asked, backing away and pointing his gun at the thing.
Whatever it was, it had four legs, four eyes, and weighed about fifty pounds. Six tentacles came out of its face. Its display popped up. This is a baby Kitykity. It is hungry and wants to eat human babies.
“I've never seen sexual organs on a Kitykity,” Ian said. “I didn't think they could reproduce. Suppose it was in a pouch or something?”
“Fuck! We didn't have enough problems!” Levi said. “Now they're having kids. You know what we got to do.”
“Put your gun down. Our baby Kitykity is physically and mentally undeveloped. It's only moderately dangerous right now.” Ian pried open its mouth. “Teeth haven't grown in yet.”
“So let's kill the filthy creature before they do!”
Even asleep, the creature sensed the two of them arguing. It let out an “eerp” and struggled to wake up.
Ian suddenly felt exhausted. He sighed, stroking the creature's skin. “I know how you feel, Levi. These things killed my sister. Thing is, if we kill this one, BG will just make more. But if we can tame it, teach it to protect humans instead of killing them, it could be the key to winning the game. I have a branch on my psychic-skill tree called Alien Friendship and I'm putting all the stat points I've gained over the last four days into that branch. I don't know if this will work, but I have to try.”
Levi raised his gun again. “I've met some dumb people in my life, but you've got them beat. That thing's got to die.”
Levi fell to the ground with a loud thud, unconscious.
“Thing about us glass-cannons is we are pretty powerful,” Ian said. “And I didn't want to hurt your feelings, Levi, but your mind-shield isn't that great. I'm going to try and improve it before I leave.” He looked down at the sleeping baby Kitykity and sighed. “I guess I got to carry you back. At least it's mostly downhill.”
***
Much to Ian's relief, they were soon on the road again, and the town of Little was receding into the distance. Crazy Steve was at the wheel of the Jeep.
“If you're trying to raise a Kitykity as a pet, you are one crazy motherfucker, Ian, I hope you don't get killed.” Captain Bradley said over the cell-phone. “Per our agreement, ten percent of the happy-bouncy-berries are being saved for you, and I've given you every video we have on The Mechanic, who's also my nephew, Dante Smith. In the blue room, Dante told BG he wanted to build weapons. BG did something, and he's now one of our most valuable people. I told him about your wizard brother. He said he'd love to meet him, and if possible, trade for a few guns like the one you used on that Happy Bouncy thing. Next time you come by, be sure you announce your presence at the gate, and I promise nobody will shoot at you.”
The baby Kitykity was now trapped in a heavy Galactic Market cage made of thick, transparent, alien glass in the back of Ian's jeep. It sniffed suspiciously at the bowl of vitamin enriched monster-milk Ian had bought from the galactic market. It let out an angry yowl, loud enough to make the whole Jeep vibrate.
“Thank you, Captain,” Ian said. “Got to go.”
He hung up on the Captain, turned around, placed a hand on the cage, and used his gift to calm it down. “Shhhh. It's okay, little guy. I'm taking you to a secluded spot, and we're going to hang out and become friends.”
The Kitykity's response was to let out another loud, angry yowl.
“Happy-bouncy-berries taste like sunlight,” Crazy Steve said, putting another tiny gold berry into his mouth.
Crazy Steve's new friend, Ted, had left to seek out Pete, the drug manufacturer, with the promise to try to get him to meet with Ian's brother.
“I don't know about sunlight, but they taste pretty damn good,” Ian said, eating one.
His third and final request to the Captain was they get first crack at the new Happy Bouncy tree, and ten percent of any fruit it produced in the future. It was a tiny bush, but the golden berries growing on it were the best thing he'd ever tasted.
“Remember to save some berries for Gabe's wizard research,” Ian said. Higher-level alien fruit seemed to provide physical benefits and healing properties.”
Ian wasn't sure if it was the golden berries, or the real chance of a breakthrough with the game, but he felt better than he had in a long time.