Soleil finds herself wandering aimlessly through rows of books, allowing herself to just exist in this place and feel its comforts. In a way, the library contains its own memories captured and bottled into the form of words on pages.

Almost absentmindedly she reached out to run her palm down a row of books. Where to even begin?

Should she diversify her elements? Or should she look into the depths of what a healer could do?

Kismet already gathered the basics, but Soleil wanted more options. Skills in and of themselves were intuitive enough once learned, they would always remain options. She had not even begun to construct her own Magitech or dabble in any crafting. Maybe once she no longer felt pressured into pushing herself further…

Her hand stops, of its own accord.

Soleil tries not to panic at the reminder that the hand is no longer entirely her own. She waits with dread, but nothing more happens.

Picking up the book at least requires a willing act on her part. Soleil indulges the moment, if only to satisfy a budding curiosity.

She turns the book over to reveal a Skill Book bound in a red cover, [Chain Mastery.]

The book gains a sudden weight to it. It is not uncomfortable, feeling instead like a well made sword might. There is a familiarity there that Soleil can sense… remaining just out of reach. If she desired it, she suspects wielding chains would come naturally to her.

Soleil reaches out to open the book with only the memory of her preferred right hand. A flash of pain and fear shoot through her.

Being in no imminent danger, the fear passes. Soleil is left to wallow in regret of including Maeve in the emotional fallout of her decision as the physical pain fades back into memory.

Balancing the book on the shelf, Soleil frees up her left hand to thumb through [Chain Mastery's] pages.

Not ready to commit to anything, Soleil closes the book before it can offer itself up as a learned skill. She does however hug it tightly and carry it with her. This summons up another unexpected familiarity.

Clutching the book tight invokes the feeling of safety she has found only in the arms of Maeve and her mothers.

“It’s hard to resist. Isn’t it?” Kismet’s voice startles Soleil out of her reverie.

Shrugging off what feels like borrowed feelings, Soleil tries to force herself to feel uncomfortable. Thankfully, the skill book’s contents make that part easy. “It’s less a weapon skill so much as it is meant to bind and control anyone I use it on.”

“I’m familiar with the skill.” Kismet offered.

“I am not sure if She is trying to rely more on my memories or hers, but I feel like I am having to be convinced to learn it.” The only saving grace in Soleil’s mind was in the skill drawing upon Focus and Intensity. If learned, it would share and grow the attribute pools that mattered most for wielding mana through magical means.

Kismet closed the distance, pressing a reassuring hand to Soleil’s shoulder. “It is worth it, I think, to interrogate where each and every skill comes from. This is a good thing. You are learning.”

Soleil steps back and away from the book. “I’m… still not sure. I never feel like I have enough information to make these decisions. But each time I accept something on Calamity’s behalf, I have been able to save Maeve and others.”

“Don’t get me wrong." Kismet said after a suitably respectful pause. "I think [Chain Mastery] would suit you well. It is a good weapon for those focused on magical stats. But the kinds of memories it will expose you to are going to bring you a new kind of unpleasantness."

“Is it always going to be this confusing?” The word felt inadequate to describe the relationship she had with mana. “Overwhelming? Unfair?”

“Call it what it is.” Kismet said with a pleading firmness. “Mana can be manipulative and abusive at times.”

“Not all the time?” Soleil nearly failed to keep her voice down. She had to remind herself that she was in the public section of the library.

“Mana can be genuinely helpful in one moment before twisting circumstances to its own benefit in the next. Both of these can be true.” As if to illustrate that point, Kismet picked up [Chain Mastery] and held it out in offering to Soleil. “You need to stop thinking of mana as a single omnipotent entity so much as it is a storied world of perspectives weighed down by what it has witnessed and been made to take part in.”

Soleil had to stop and really take that in before accepting the skill book. “I… appreciate this. Everything you’re doing really. For me. And Maeve too, I imagine.”

Kismet looked hesitant to accept Soleil’s words. “About that. Maeve and I started opening up to each other.”

Soleil’s heart sank. “Is she okay?”

“No.” Was all Kismet needed to say. “But she wanted me to make sure you were okay first.”

That certainly sounded like Maeve.

Soleil ran, heedless to the many protests that her recklessness provoked. None of that mattered. Not if Maeve needed her.

Maeve remained precious to her. No amount of guilt or stress could diminish what she felt when in Maeve’s arms.

***

“No.” Maeve said the moment the door opened. “I’m useless to you.”

“So what?” Soleil shrugged off the comment and closed the distance.

“Kismet and I went over my options. I don’t have it in me to become a demon. I can’t break my promise to the people of Haven. I do not have the relationship with the Everqueen to [Awaken] early like you. I… could barely protect you.”

“Maeve.” Despite being in the privacy of a study room, Soleil’s voice fell to a gentle whisper. “You are not being fair to yourself.”

“Nothing has ever been fair! And it just won’t stop. Not for me. Not for Kismet. None of us can help you in the way you need. We’re going to come up short. We’re going to leave you alone like Aliza.”

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

“Hey.” Soleil said, pulling Maeve’s head against her chest. “We’re alive. We’re okay. We’re together.”

Maeve’s words became nearly indistinguishable from sobs. How long had this been building up? “I… I… I hurt you… Could have just… -convinced you to run. Couldn’t even do that… And now.” Maeve pulled away, looking up at her with fear and desperation in her eyes. “Now you’re… Calamity's.”

“We’ll figure this out.” Soleil nearly choked on the words. “Together.”

The two clung to each other.

Soleil found herself getting caught up in what ifs and things they should have done, things they could still do. Anything to offer Maeve the tiniest reassurance. “We never should have left the village before preparing properly. We should have asked Aster if the Sprout school had anything it could teach us.”

Maeve countered almost immediately. “But then we wouldn’t have saved Aliza. I understand what you did and why you had to do it. You didn’t want us to die. I get it. I just…”

“There’s understanding, and there is feeling okay afterwards.” Soleil pressed her forehead to Maeve’s.

“She’s right, you know.” Kismet’s contribution to the conversation was cautious. “Those are two entirely different processes and outcomes.”

Maeve took a deep breath.

Soleil was happy to just hold her for as long as it took. “We can still help those Knights. Malady said they are probably missing at this point though. But we can find them.”

“Malady said what?” Maeve moved to rise to her feet.

Soleil reached out, dug her clawed hand into Maeve’s shoulder and pushed her back down. “I think she attacked every party that ventured out. It’s okay.”

“How is any of this-”

Soleil shushed Maeve. “Malady and Calamity have been playing gently with us. They want me to go looking for Caesar’s group and see something. Something on the borders, or maybe past them in the world beyond.”

Maeve was stunned out of her own anxieties, forced to process just how much more might lay ahead.

“But after that.” Soleil made it a pointed declaration aimed at her bag sitting on the table, where Malady’s orb sat within. “I’m done. We need a break.” Soleil leaned close, hugging Maeve protectively.

“I’m sorry.” Maeve only seemed like she was just beginning to apologize.

“It’s okay. We’re okay.”

“Are we?” Maeve sputtered. “I hurt you. I promised to protect you.”

“We’re alive.” Soleil said, forcing a smile. “And we’re together. No one here is in danger.”

“I think… that’s the problem.” Maeve finally admitted, slumping back in her chair.

She looked like she had more to say, so Soleil gave her time.

“I can… finally fall apart. I think. After pushing myself to my limit and constantly worrying I wouldn’t be able to save everyone. But now I know you’re still in danger. I can still lose you.” Maeve tightened her grip around Soleil. “Now Malady and Calamity both are baiting you back out there in their own ways. I’ve got to sort myself out. Or I’m not going to be of any use to anyone.”

“Is that really a bad thing?” Soleil gave into the impulse to run her hand through what little black hair Maeve had to be appreciated. Monstrous claws or no, they both needed the reassuring touch. “You’re asking too much of yourself. We’re both still far too low level to be expected to protect the entirety of humanity’s food supply on our own.”

“I just… wanted to protect you.”

Soleil dragged the back of a clawed finger down Maeve’s cheek, taking great care not to harm her precious knight. “I know. You did save me though. From those plants. Before we knew how much danger we were really in when confronted by Malady.”

Maeve shook her head.“I swore an oath to protect the people of Haven. My oath to you was… an extension of that. I…" She hesitated.

That hesitation caused Soleil’s heart to ache. She knew she shouldn’t interpret this as Maeve assigning blame, but so much had gone wrong.

"I don’t feel like I am living up to my promise to you.” Maeve said, a plea in her eyes. “The Guardian Class helps me gain ranks in skills that let me better withstand punishment. But I don’t want to just stand there and receive the trauma in anyone’s place. Nor do I want to sit and cower behind shield or armor while my friends can be saved. I want a kind of power that will let me decide my own fate.”

“Okay.” Soleil said. What was there to think about? If this is what Maeve needed, it was what Soleil would give her. “If you need me to release you from this burden, I do.”

Maeve shook her head, before reaching out to take Soleil’s hand in her own. “I need you to understand what you’re doing. I have sworn to protect the entire Town of Haeven by following you. But if I can’t protect you, I don’t know if anyone short of another Demon Lord can. I need you to see me as inadequate, break this oath of mine so that I can become something more capable of making a difference.”

Soleil’s understanding came in the form of a suffocating feeling. She could not escape the realization that she had already acted upon a perceived inadequacy of her entire party. Soleil acted on that inadequacy by welcoming a Calamitous monster inside of her soul and it was tearing Maeve apart in her own way.

Soleil had to make this right. She wanted to throw every validation that Maeve had ever given back at her beloved Maeve. But if Maeve needed her to let her go, she’d do so.

She would do whatever was necessary for Maeve to heal in her own way. Was that not what Maeve wanted for her? What kind of monster would she be to deny Maeve his unkindness now?

Soleil leaned close, cupping the sides of Maeve’s head. Verbally, she let go of her Knight in a way that mana would take great offense to. “Maeve, you cannot help me or Haven as you are now. Consider your oath to me and Haven broken. There is nothing you can do as a Guardian to protect me or the people of Haven, not from the likes of Malady or Calamity.”

Kismet chose that moment to quietly activate a nearby Magitech [Analyzer.] An orb hummed as mana flowed through one lens and into a box containing another. Light spilled from the second lens, painting a familiar picture of how mana assessed someone’s soul. Only the image of Maeve’s soul was cast onto the far wall of the room for all of them to see.

Maeve’s Class changed from Guardian to Oathbreaker. Five points of Vitality, Endurance, and Strength seeped out of Maeve’s soul.

Maeve’s Faith stat disappeared entirely.

Soleil felt the grip of Maeve’s hands weaken. The knight all at once looked tired and relieved. Soleil pulled Maeve close, feeling protective all of a sudden. Was Maeve’s pain and vulnerability worth turning into a lesson?

“I know it hurts.” Kismet offered in that gentle way of theirs. “But sometimes the only way to heal is to willingly endure a bit more pain.”

Soleil could not ignore what She had shown her. Whether [Analyze] was an invasive skill or not did not erase that there was very real trauma affecting all of them. It deserved to be seen, acknowledged, and given an opportunity to heal.

Soleil gained a deeper understanding of [Healing.] The skill can now be raised to Rank 2.

“I know you’re trying to show us things.” Soleil’s voice was stiff and strained, only barely holding back a building anger. “But you can’t just subject us to more trauma and expect us to go back out into the world.”

Kismet shook their head. “Everything you need is here in Mender’s Crossing. You just need to be willing to see and learn from it.”

“What more do we need to see? Who can show us?” Soleil rose to her feet, a fire burning within her once more. She needed to know, needed to make certain that Maeve wasn’t being hurt for nothing.

Kismet’s voice turned wistful. “The last one Malady failed to bend to her will.”

Maeve reached out, pulling at Soleil’s hand. “We... should hear her out.”

Upon turning to dismiss all of this as going too far, Soleil found a light in Maeve’s eyes. A hope that was not there before.

Soleil turned back to hug her Maeve once more. “Okay. I’ll hear you out, but only because we need an easy win.”

Kismet shook their head. “I am afraid that will not be up to me. But there is a teacher who runs trials for Sprouts and Paladins both.”

“What are we signing up for?” Maeve asked, rising to her feet with Soleil’s support.

“A mock battle. You’re still at real risk of getting hurt, but healers will be on hand and no one will try to kill you.”

“How soon can we make this happen?” Soleil clenched her one hand around Maeve’s arm. They were going to have to fight again.

Kismet turned to make for the door. “Learn what skills you intend to use. I'll see if I can make arrangements with Wisteria right away.”