Bob was happy. The sun had risen to a clear, beautiful day. The smell of breakfast was wafting over the plains. He felt it down into his green orcish soul; today would be the day he would attract more humans and rob them.
“Great orc Bob,” Rick said, “breakfast is ready.”
Bob sat down next to the fire. Ben handed him a piece of leather covered in scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast. Bob scooped up the eggs with his large fingers. The food was good, but it was hard to eat. He could tell that Rick and the twins were also having trouble.
“This is good but too hard to eat with my fingers,” said Bob.
The other three grumbled in agreement. None of them wanted to talk; the food had their attention.
“Great orc Bob,” Rick said, “I see humans eat with weapons. Maybe that is the way.”
Betty and Ben looked at each other. They both drew their daggers and attempted to eat the eggs. After a few cuts to their tongues and lips, they gave up.
“That is a stupid idea,” Bob said to Rick. He did find it amusing watching the twins cut themselves while trying to eat.
Once they ate, the orcs and Rick began their day. Rick went out to shout about breakfast being four gold. Twins began to cook the bacon. Bob set up the canopy over the table. He didn’t attach it to the food cart because Rick would need it later. The line had already formed.
“Egg, bacon, toast. Four gold,” Bellowed Bob. The line of imps cheered. In the middle of the line were four more cloaked humans. Bob smiled and touched his club next to him. He was ready!
The line moved along with little trouble. The imps feared Bob and didn’t like him yelling at them. After some negotiation, Bob worked out what to charge for each item.
Soon the humans were next. There appeared to be two females and two males. Bob could easily defeat all four. He was ready.
“I would like bacon, eggs, and toast, please,” The first female said as she laid four gold coins on the table. Bob nodded and grabbed a piece of leather covered in food. She held out a small round shield. Bob looked at it. “Slide it on the plate, please,” The human said. Bob did as she asked.
The next three humans did the same thing. They each held a small shield for Bob to give them their food. Bob watched them as they ate. They pulled weapons out and began to eat the food with ease. These were odd weapons and didn’t seem well suited for battle. Even the knife didn’t seem sharp.
“Great orc, Bob.” Came a voice in front of him. He glared down at the imp, took the gold the imp offered, and gave it food.
The orc and the imps fell into their routine. He took the gold, silver, or other valuables and gave them food. They were the happiest imps he had ever met. At this point, he had met many imps.
Bob had forgotten about the humans until he heard one shout, “Great orc Bob!” The human waved at him, and he glared back. “Best breakfast ever! We’ll bring our friends tomorrow. Will you be here?”
Bob was thrilled; they would bring more humans. This was it; he could rob a bunch of humans at once. The plan was working. Bob shouted back, “Yes, be here early!”
His sharp ears picked up what they were saying as they left.
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“Best eggs I have ever had.”
“Ok, I need this every day.”
“I wonder if I could get the herbs they used. They were exquisite.”
The humans all waved and left. Bob felt good. Everything was working. Steve would be back today. He was excited to hear how happy the chief was with their business. Bob like that word, business.
“Rick!” Bellowed Bob.
“Yes, boss,” Rick appeared.
“Take some gold and go to town. Get more bacon, eggs, and toast. Also, find out about the shield and weapons the humans used.” Bob ordered.
“Yes, boss!” Rick saluted and left with the wagon.
The twins cooked and sang. The song was a war song and wasn’t unpleasant enough to scare away the imps. Bob sat at the table under the tarp and took the money. He was happy. He liked this more than raiding and robbing. He felt guilty that he wanted this more but soon didn’t care. Today had been a good day, and the line was beginning to shrink.
Rick arrived as the last of the customers were given food. He was happy to report he had bought supplies and some of the human’s food weapons.
“See, boss,” Rick held up a fork, “You use this stabbing thing to pick up the food. The food lies on the shield. You can also use this scooping thing. It makes it easier to eat things that the stabby thing can’t pick up.”
“Like what?” Bob asked. The twins were fighting with each other using the stabby thing.
“Uh, soup?” Rick said, unsure what else to say.
“Ok, we don’t do soup. We have eggs, bacon, and toast.” Bob growled.
“Yes, boss, the humans called this dinnerware,” Rick said, very proud of himself.
“Dinnerware,” Bob repeated. “Fine. Ben! Betty! Cook us breakfast. I'm hungry.”
The twins made scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast. They put the food on a plate for each of them. Rick was included as well since he had done so well. They each grabbed a fork and held it like a dagger. They began to shovel the food into their mouths.
“This is much better,” Ben said.
“Yea, boss, this is easier,” Betty said.
“I do good, boss?” Rick asked.
“Yes, Rick, you did good. This dinnerware is much better than the leather.” Bob said.
As they finished, the imp greedily licked the plate. The orcs were impressed and did the same. Soon a horrible idea hit Bob.
“Uh, how do we reuse these shields. I don’t want to eat on your shield, Rick.” Bob said.
“Yuck, imp slobber would not be good with eggs,” Said Ben.
“Oh, yea. I got something for that.” Rick said as he got up and went to the wagon. He held up a scrub brush and a bottle of liquid. “The man at the market called this soap,” He held up the bottle of liquid, “Hot water and scrub,” He held up the scrub brush. “All clean.”
Bob nodded, “Ok, Rick, you clean these dishwares. I think this is a good idea.”
“Yes, boss,” Rick said as he gathered the dishes.
“Hey boss,” Betty asked, “Rick won’t be able to do all these shields and dishware, get imps to come here, and get supplies. You are busy taking gold, and we cook.”
“Yea, so?” Bob asked.
“Maybe get another imp to do the dishware,” Ben said.
Bob thought for a moment, “Not bad.” He shouted to Rick, “Hey Rick, you got a brother or something. Someone who would do the dishes?”
“Yea, boss, I’ve got many brothers and sisters. I have a brother who would do this, no problem.” Rick said, giving Bob a salute.
“Ok, bring him tomorrow and show him how to wash dishware. I’ll pay him three meals.” Bod said.
Rick cheered, “Ok, boss!”
They had settled down for the evening. Ben and Betty were napping. Rick was cleaning. Bob had settled on a grass mat to look up at the sky. It was a good day. He wondered what was keeping Steve. The stupid orc probably got lost.
The evening was disturbed by a loud, deep shout, “BOB! Where are you, you dirty thief. I want to gut you!”
The chief had arrived.