It was another busy day at Orc Cafe. Bob and Richard were at their spots taking orders. Rose and Batty were making the lattes. The twins were making breakfast several times faster than they had ever done before. The line was out of the tent and was at the edge of the clearing. Bob thought the whole town had shown up.

“Good morning, Chief Richard,” Said Greg as he approached the Orcs.

“Good morning, Greg,” Richard said, “How are you today?”

“Good, thanks. Dad sent me over to be the officer on watch today. Said I can stick around if Batty wanted to come home tonight.” Greg said.

“We appreciate you doing this,” Richard said as an old woman and a ghoul stepped up to him to order. “If you want, grab some breakfast. Tell the twins what you want.”

“Thanks, I’ll do that,” Greg said as he headed to the kitchen.

“We’ll both have the BLT and a coffee,” the old woman said. The ghoul emitted a noise, a mix of a moan and a whimper. “Fine, Edward,” the woman sighed. “He’ll have a Vanilla Latte instead of black coffee.”

Richard took the gold from the old woman and said, “Your food will be right up.”

“Let’s sit over there, dear,” the old woman said. “Ah, this reminds me of our first date, what two, three centuries ago?” The ghoul moaned, and the old woman's cackling laugh echoed through the tent, prompting other patrons to give the pair plenty of space.

Richard looked at Bob, who only shrugged with confusion. Richard finally said, “Well, not our oddest customers.”

A commotion in the line caught the two Orc’s attention. A nicely dressed blonde man was striding past the line towards them.

“You there,” The man pointed at the two Orcs, “Which of you is Great Orc Bob?”

Bob raised his hand, “I am.”

“Do you know who I am?” The blonde man stated.

“No,” Bob said, giving the man a good look. “Did I fight you in one of the warlord’s battles?”

“No, I don’t battle,” The man said with a sneer, “My father is a prominent man in the town. I demand breakfast immediately, and I may give your little,” The man waved his hands around, “Uh, tent my endorsement.”

“Your what?” Bob asked, glancing at Richard.

“I can make or break your little establishment,” The man said with his condescending sneer.

“Fredrick,” Greg said, standing behind the man. Frederick’s eyes become wide with fear. He stood up straighter and didn’t look back.

“Greg,” Frederick said.

“You’re pulling that 'my daddy’s important, so give me free stuff' routine?” Greg asked.

“You know my father is an important man,” Frederick said, still not turning around.

“He’s a barber,” Greg said.

“That best in town,” Frederick said, his eyes glued to the Orcs before him.

“The only one in town,” Greg said, “Remember what happened when you pulled this at my dad’s place?”

“Uh, Greg, um, you don’t need to throw me again,” Frederick pleaded, his sneer turning to a look of desperation. Bob and Richard couldn’t help but smile.

“Oh yes, I’m going to throw you again. Let’s see if I can beat my record,” Greg said.

“No, Greg, you don’t..” Frederick let out a yelp as Greg grabbed his belt and shirt collar, carrying him towards the tent’s entrance.

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At the entrance, Greg began to swing the man. The line started to count.

“One!”

“Two!”

“Three!”

Greg threw the man out of the tent. The line erupted in cheers. Doug approached Greg.

“Good throw,” Doug said.

“I like to throw things,” Greg replied.

“Me too,” Doug said, holding up his fist.

The Orc and the human fist-bumped. And that, dear reader, is how Greg and Doug became best friends.

Following the human-tossing incident, peace was restored. Anyone disruptive was calmed either by the crowd or by Doug and Greg's stern glares. Breakfast went as smoothly as ever for the Orcs and company. Bob and Richard were happy with the amount of gold they made for the day.

“Chief, this is amazing,” Bob practically shouted, “We take money and give food. This, this may be better than raiding and fighting.”

“I’m starting to agree,” the chief said, “This is more gold than we have ever made.”

“We are living it up chief!” Bob continued, “This is easy gold.”

“Too easy,” Said Richard solemnly, “I’m worried we will get soft.”

Rose laughed, “Soft? Batty and I will be in the best shape of our lives if we keep pace with the lattes.”

Batty chuckled as she flexed her muscles. She didn’t need to be in even better shape, but she wouldn’t complain. “Waitressing helped my ax swing. You’d be surprised what carrying large amounts of food all day can do for your swing.” Batty said, swinging her imaginary ax.

“When the village gets here, we can take some breaks. We can still train.” Bob said.

Richard nodded, “It would be good to keep everyone sharp. We could still be robbed.”

A man's voice from the tent entrance interrupted them, "Robbers concerned about being robbed - now that's a refreshing change.

“Sorry, we are closed. Breakfast will be served at dawn tomorrow.” Bob said.

A man dressed in all green and carrying a bow entered with more men behind him, spreading his arms. "Breakfast sounds wonderful, but that'll have to do for another day. I'm Ralph, and these are my men, Ralph's Roughnecks. Consider yourselves lucky - today, you're being robbed by us," he announced with a bow and a wide grin beneath his neatly trimmed mustache.

Richard burst into laughter so intense that he started crying. Now, in the middle of the tent, Ralph and his men appeared frustrated at being mocked.

“What’s so funny, Orc?” Ralph shouted. He didn’t like to be laughed at by his victims.

Richard took a long breath, “You, rob us!” He gestured openly to the group of imps, orcs, and Battleaxes. Doug and Greg had secured the entrance. The imps started snarling, their sharp teeth glistening with saliva and claws unsheathed. The orcs brandished various weapons, from axes to war hammers and daggers. Greg twirled his nunchucks, grinning a menacing Battleax smile. Batty gripped her battleax, her smile as daunting as Greg's.

Ralph turned to one of his men, “You idiot, you said this was an orc-themed restaurant, not one run by actual orcs!”

“Boss, who else would run an orc-themed restaurant?” The man replied.

“I don’t know? Humans who really like Orcs.” Ralph retorted. He signed heavily, “OK, fine. We can still do this. That girl over there has a battleax. How hard can this be?” This prompted a collective gasp from everyone, including Ralph's own men.

“Boss,” another man chimed in, “That wasn’t very nice. We’ve been beaten by two women before, and she seems as strong as the plainswoman we took on that time.”

Rose glanced at Batty. She had expected an outburst from her friend, but the woman stood still. Rose began to reach over and touch Batty when suddenly Batty exploded.

“GIRL!” Batty shouted, charging forward with her battleax raised. The men scattered as Ralph began to run around the tent with Batty chasing him. With each swing of her battleax, she got a little closer to his head. Ralph ran for his life, screaming like a girl.

“Batty,” Shouted Greg, “Beheading him in the tent will make a mess. Chase him outside.”

“Outside, bitch!” Shouted Batty as she herded Ralph to the tent entrance, “I don’t want to clean up your misogynistic blood!” Batty and Ralph burst out of the tent, followed by a stampede of Ralph’s Roughnecks.

Rose dashed to the tent entrance, blocked by Greg. “Move!” she demanded.

“Nah, let her have her fun,” Greg replied casually.

“There are too many of them!” Rose exclaimed. “You should be helping her.”

Greg chuckled. “Those stooges? Barely a light workout for her. She needs it after being cooped up for so long.”

Rose stared in disbelief, first at Greg, then at Doug.

“Rose,” Richard said, “You forgot these are Battlaxes. If anything, we should chase after them to save them!” He began to laugh. Soon, the others joined in.

“Fine!” Rose conceded loudly. “Let her have her fun.” Then, more quietly, “Maybe I want to have fun too.”

Richard chuckled, “You get the next ones.”

“Do you think others will be stupid enough to try that?” Bob asked.

“Yes, I do!” Richard exclaimed. “We did, didn’t we?” The orcs nodded in agreement.

An hour later, a breathless Batty reentered the tent. Rose approached, quickly checking her for injuries.

“How was the hunt?” Greg asked.

“The cowards can run!” Batty said, “I would have had them if they hadn’t run into the pride of lions. I had to save them from the lions. Here.” Batty handed a bag of gold to Rose, who looked at the bag with confusion, ”They paid me for saving them. We can use that for our girls' night out!”

Rose began to laugh, “Then let’s go party.”

Rose and Batty waved to the others as they left.

“Don’t wait up!” They shouted together.

“Hey, chief?” Bob asked.

“What?” Richard asked, looking at Bob.

“Do you think the town is ready for Rose and Batty partying?” Bob asked, genuinely concerned.

“Well, Battleax will be there. He will keep them in line.” Richard said.

“That’s what worries me,” Bob said.