Novels2Search
We Can Go Back
Sentiments 18

Sentiments 18

image [d2d_images/chapter_title_corner_decoration_left.png]

image [d2d_images/chapter_title_corner_decoration_right.png]

image [d2d_images/chapter_title_above.png]

image [d2d_images/chapter_title_below.png]

“I repeat, we’re unable to revive the Guardian. We’re heading back to headquarters now,” the Chief’s voice said from the badge of nearly every enforcer in the room.

Karen Blackwell’s two daughters began to sweat. Lilah waited for them to break into song and perhaps confess. She’d have to confess soon enough, too maybe.

No such luck. Princess sat watching the floor and Rosemarie stood behind her, hands on her shoulders.

Darla stepped beside Lilah, but Lilah gave her space...a lot of it. Of course, it had been Escott’s decision to get married, but Darla didn’t have to allow it. If she’d remained steadfast, he would have given up. This wasn’t jealousy talking. A bald Elemental meant a damaged and possibly abused Elemental. That also meant a sort of osmosis could take place whenever they touched someone. They could easily take or give power that way. A fully powered E could do it at will while one with damage needed physical contact.

Escott called her a snob. She thought about that again and again as she stood in that medic bay waiting on the various E’s passing in and out to give them Princess’s results.

Lilah wasn’t a snob—she didn’t think of herself as one. She’d meant to warn Escott not to be gullible and end up getting himself into trouble at a bald E’s expense. But he called her a snob.

A snob. She was a snob.

Why did that word bug her so much?

“Mother says we can’t have an abortion if it’s an imp,” Rosemarie said, “but if it’s not, can we have one then?”

Darla lost color. Most enforcers around them were women, now that Lilah thought about it. That was at Karen Blackwell’s request before she went to show off her power over imps—and failed miserably by the looks of it.

“You.... Why would you want to...? You wouldn’t have to abort,” Darla said, her voice a quiver.

Lilah waited for her to excuse herself, maybe even sign out and take a leave of absence. Everyone would have understood. But to lose a child because of these girls’ mother, and then have them suggest aborting one, Darla’s reaction was understandable.

Still, she had no place or business talking to Blackwell’s daughters about something like this. Darla should have known better.

“But if it’s not an imp...” Rosemarie began, looking between them. “Then you can abort it?”

Darla kept her mouth shut. A medic came out before she could say anything potentially questionable to them.

“We’re ready for one last test,” the man said, “a female medic is finally on duty.”

The girls stood together.

“If it’s okay, can she go alone?” the medic suggested.

Princess made one turn and nearly collided into her sister who held her close.

“We go everywhere together,” Rosemarie said. “Everywhere. It’s better if I stay with her. She doesn’t like us being apart.”

The medic blinked at her. “Ma’am, it’s a very fast check. It won’t take that long.”

Princess vibrated, opening her mouth. The room shook with the menacing sound that emitted. Rosemarie promptly used her hand to muzzle her sister. “No. Don’t. Hush. I’ll go with you no matter what he says.”

The sternness of her words made the medic lean back. He regarded them in confusion for a moment longer.

“Can they go together? Is there room?” Lilah asked. “If you need one of us to come with her, then let both of them go and we’ll stick close to the entrance. How’s that?”

After considering it, the medic relented. “Very well. They’re lucky we have this many Elementals on hand today, that means for a cleaner read. We have some inconsistencies thus far.”

They were finished twenty minutes later, around the same time as the Chief and company finally arrived back.

Karen Blackwell didn’t walk with her head held high, in fact, she looked frightened. She must not have counted on the Guardian’s inability to rise.

That wasn’t the only reason for her fear, though, the medic’s words turned that to terror.

“What are you saying?”

“It’s a regular Yule gestation, meaning that the baby is about seven months along. It’s just now starting to show, so you assumed it was a typical speedy Newbreed birth. That is not the case, some people are simply slim and carry small. An original imp birth, a human mother injected with the mutation, would carry for thirteen months. Imp to human pairings lead to the opposite, a very fast birth.

“With her being a Newbreed herself, should the father of that child be an imp, we’ve estimated that might lead to an extra-long pregnancy as well, or a shorter length like a Newbreed birth. This is a regular and very, very normal pregnancy. We’ve asked several E’s on hand to double check. Each and every one says it’s a normal pregnancy, that they cannot sense anything similar to that of a potential Newbreed. Meaning that it’s likely a human father.”

Karen Blackwell’s jaw hung slack. Each attempt she made at closing her mouth was unsuccessful.

“But...but.... But she was numb to the touch. She was....” Karen lost power, eventually. “But...” was all she could utter.

Now instead of just Princess Blackwell watching the ground, Rosemarie kept her head hung as well.

“Here’s the other inconsistency,” the medic said. “We’ve checked with five imps who have each taken a whiff of your daughter’s blood. Each say there is in fact imp venom in it, and it’s pretty potent.”

Karen shook her head. “None of this makes sense. You’re saying an imp bit her but.... No. This makes no sense. Imps won’t eat other imps or Newbreed. And Newbreed saliva’s poisonous to a real imp. That’s probably why he bit her and gave her too much venom first, to make sure she couldn’t bite him back and the....”

She huffed and puffed, meeting eyes with whoever’d meet eyes with her as she struggled to get a grip.

“Kiki,” Darla began, “she doesn’t have a mark on her. No bite. Nothing.”

“He couldn’t bite her,” Karen snapped. “Maybe he was afraid to.”

“But he could sleep with her?” Darla growled. “Wake up, you idiot, no imp did this.” She waited, challenging Karen to say something to the effect of it being a Newbreed.

But Karen Blackwell couldn’t.

Darla wasn’t finished. “Escott’s the oldest Newbreed, and he’s literally now going through the maturing process. So if you’re going to blame him, I’ll think you’ll more than find that he is currently unable to father a child even if he could have sex.”

Lilah must have made a sound, because everyone looked at her. She was sure that wasn’t it, so she stepped back. Escott couldn’t...she had thought the opposite, feared the opposite that she’d end up pumping out one child after another if they started.

“Then what about the venom?” Karen challenged, her eyes red with tears. “What about the venom?”

“It’s Lander’s venom.” Lilah closed her mouth too late. She didn’t know where those words came from. She’d meant to mention Winrose, the rogue Newbreed nobody could explain. Offer him up for scrutiny as a possible factor. But that wasn’t what came out. The way Rosemarie’s face colored told Lilah all she needed to know. She was right, she was more than right. “Lander gives it out as a drug, and it’s a very strong one. You lose all feeling for quite a while.” Lilah gestured to Rosemarie. “Maybe something a sister would gather and give the other in an attempt to abort....”

Karen Blackwell’s head turned so slowly, she appeared possessed. But she didn’t look at her daughters, she looked straight at Lilah.

“What did you just say?”

Lilah lost confidence, but not by much. “He puts it on paper and lets it dry.”

Darla stepped forward, begging, “Stop. That is an awful thing to say. It would take a ton to have that effect. So stop.”

“Would it?” Lilah asked, remembering how her own body lost power with a kiss. “Because Lander is physically mature and—”

The force of Karen Blackwell’s slap left Lilah’s face burning.

Silence filled the room.

Lilah kept her head hung, disbelieving of the strike.

“Are you suggesting that person had anything to do with my daughter’s injury?”

Heart pounding, Lilah fought to find something to say. She focused more on the words. “You talk as if this occurred more than once.”

The next hit was a punch.

Lilah held out her hand to break her fall. Stunned, she regained her balance and backed away.

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

Karen seethed, but something else drew her focus; she turned to Rosemarie.

The look in her eye made the girl back away, hands held up. “Ma’am...ma’am....”

Rosemarie cowered away. Her little sister rushed to stand between them, but Karen couldn’t even glance at that belly.

“What have you done to the Guardian?” Karen asked. “Because if you’re messing with potions and poisons then it must have been you who gave him something else. What did you give him?”

Trembling, Rosemarie muttered, “Just...just...just sugar.”

Darla’s breath hitched.

Karen closed her eyes.

“I didn’t know what else to do. He stood up. He stood up; he was gonna move around. You didn’t say he was gonna move around. Ma’am, I just figured I gave him too much. So I tried to fix it. I just wanted to fix it. So...so I gave him sugar.”

Pace slow and measured, Karen asked, “How much sugar?”

The girl’s posture withered. “Two liters.”

Darla’s jaw dropped. “He’s never waking up.”

“He’ll wake up,” Karen said, meeting her gaze, “if we give him food. Anyone looking to volunteer?”

The medic looked between them. “What exactly...?”

“We have to feed the imp to get him up,” Karen Blackwell explained. “That would involve another Guardian opening his mouth and dumping a lot of blood and meat down his throat.”

“We have livestock,” the doctor suggested.

Darla shook her head. “No. It’d be human. Even Mara cannot eat the meat of Topside animals. He resolves instead to either eat nothing, or plants. But....” She shrugged, “We’ve had some mishaps where....” She pulled her collar back. “I’ve had to make sacrifices.”

The medic looked between them. “We have to tell the Chief.”

“He didn’t come back with us,” Karen muttered. “He took off somewhere else.” She stared at her daughters for what seemed like ages and said, “A Newbreed, man or woman, has the strength of five men.”

Relief filled Darla’s face—most people around shared the same expression; Karen Blackwell was taking back her claim of rape.

Karen met Darla’s gaze. “But just because she didn’t fight doesn’t mean it was something she accepted.” It was one of the few times she looked vulnerable. She didn’t pay Lilah a second glance. “I’m sorry about your loss,” Karen said to Darla, “it was meant for the Renegades. Not you. I hadn’t imagined it would hurt you, hurt any Newbreed.”

Darla’s expression hardened. “Is that what you told yourself about the Osbournes?”

“That was a long time ago and many awful things came about. But two years ago, one of our servants attacked a colleague. She bit him in the neck and was halfway through eating him by the time we found them. And she was fast, and she disappeared into the underground below our house.

“I wanted to sedate her and figure out why she moved like a Newbreed. I made a powdered form, too weak to harm an imp, and not potent enough for an Elemental. Sure enough, she came back in the night. I doused her with it. But she passed out.” Karen met the medic’s gaze. “I called the enforcers, but the body disappeared before they arrived. They said there were no missing person’s report for a woman that old. None of the blood matched any DNA strand in the only computer we have, and that I must have imagined it. Until I awoke to find Winrose in my house, saying that I’d killed his child.”

“Killed?” Darla asked. “You killed her?”

Karen Blackwell knew better than to directly incriminate herself. “That’s what he said. When I saw him, unchanged, here at the station, I thought to myself how dangerous he could be.”

“How did you keep him away?” the Medic asked.

“Oh, I made an empty threat to him that I’d release this powder throughout the entire underground. One place in particular. Which was impossible for me to do. You see, unfortunately...that powder was stolen from me last year. Not sure how it became attached to a bomb of any kind. But I did report it, and I did come here to report it in person. Not that anyone would believe me.”

The silence that time, came with an uncomfortable shuffling of feet.

Karen needed a moment before she could turn to her children. “Come, we’ll go home.”

Rosemarie wouldn’t budge. “But if it’s a normal child, won’t we abort it?”

Her words stunned Karen. She looked from Rosemarie then to Princess and back again.

“You do not speak for Pricilla,” Karen told Rosemarie. “If that’s what she honestly wants, she’ll have to open her mouth and tell me.”

Princess met her gaze and shook her head.

Karen sighed. “I didn’t think so.” She cast Darla a glance. “Don’t think you all have won a victory today. If she was drugged with imp venom, then the potency could have been high due to a number of reasons. The reoccurring length of the rape, for example.”

The medic shook his head and scoffed. “Other than directly, that much concentration would take years.”

Karen swallowed hard and let out a deep breath. “I suppose it would.” Her face set in a frown, she held Princess by the shoulder and attempted to leave.

“There’s the matter of the Guardian,” Darla said.

“Oh. Yes. The Guardian.” Karen looked back at them. “And that new stipulation of exile. Does the mayor honestly intend on exiling a teenage mother? A Newbreed no less. Does he really? Because if so, I’d like to see him try.” She made her way out. “I think this child has been through enough. If the Chief or mayor wants an audience with me, they’re welcomed to it.”

Still frozen to the spot, Lilah watched Karen’s retreat, careful to note that no one seemed concerned with the fact that the woman just openly assaulted an enforcer.

Glances came Lilah’s way here and there, but one thing was clear, she was not that popular, and she won no favors by suggesting that Princess’s older brother’s venom aided in the child’s violation.

Instead of Darla, Lilah took the rest of the shift off. The cold way no one protested Karen Blackwell’s blows was one thing, Lander’s part in all this was another. Lilah could hardly stand the thought of it when she went home.

He stood waiting at her door, a strange smile plastered on his face. “Hey.... Essy’s down at the fights. I wanted to talk to you.”

“Princess Blackwell and her baby send their regards,” Lilah said. Without affording him a glance, she opened her house door and stepped inside. And bolted it.

Her legs didn’t start to shake until she pressed her back against the door. Each gentle, tentative knock from Lander made Lilah flinch.

And she’d kissed him. She’d kissed him more than once. He gave his venom to someone else as a drug...and that person used it to rape his thirteen-year-old sister. And Lilah’d kissed the bastard.

It took her all of ten minutes to steady her knees. Their stairs had no railing, so she kept close to the wall for fear she’d tumble down it. Not that she’d care at this point.

She needed a shower. She needed several, but the one was enough. Eyes failing to focus until she was fully dressed, Lilah relived the encounters with Lander over and over again.

A gag left her, but she didn’t vomit. Dressed in a clean enforcer’s uniform, she lumbered to the window and sat down on the sofa there. A radio rested on the sill and she flicked it on, searching for anything—maybe for that music.

What she found was Karen Blackwell’s station.

“I bring sad news, my friends. Now I hear that imps are giving out their venom on papers. If you don’t understand the significance, then I must share it with you. It can render an adult paralyzed. An adult ‘woman’ paralyzed, too.”

That not-too-subtle emphasis was cheap at best. And the way she refers to it as imps rather than Newbreeds. Lilah supposed that was a good thing, because the number of adult Newbreeds was too low to miss judgement.

“And I have an announcement. It’s a joyous occasion I must share. My husband and I would like to announce our pending birth.”

Lilah raised an eyebrow. “This woman is ridiculous.”

“At my age...I couldn’t believe such a thing was possible. I pray that it is a boy—I’ve always wanted a boy.”

Click. The radio turned off.

Lilah sat up to regard it in confusion.

“That woman’s awful,” someone said.

Nearly jumping out of her skin, Lilah scurried back. Her heart was in her mouth by the time she could focus. “Gwen?” She surveyed the hall, more than certain Gwen had been at headquarters. “But...but....”

Gwen shrugged. “You didn’t see me walking behind you? I’m invisible.”

It took a moment for Lilah to swallow down her fear. She rested back. “That is not funny. Why are you here?”

She wasn’t wearing that awful wig at least when she sat down. “Came to check on you. Nobody said anything when Karen hit you. I almost said something, but I didn’t want anyone to see me there.”

The strike still stung. Lilah brought her hand to her face but eventually lowered it again.

Gwen was a chatterbox usually, so when she stared out the window, silent, Lilah worried.

“You and Lander, huh?” Gwen said, “I can leave if you wanted some privacy.”

The very idea made Lilah cringe. “No. That won’t be necessary.” A glance at the window showed Lander standing under the street candle, watching the ground. “Hopefully he’ll leave soon.”

Gwen’s blue eyes watched her. She resembled her brother greatly, though with red hair instead of black. That look of disapproval she wore matched his as well.

“You’re not gonna see him? Not even for a minute? Not even to tell him fuck off?”

“He can hear my fuck off from here, I’m sure,” Lilah muttered under her breath.

Sure enough, hands in his pocket, Lander shifted against the light pole. He was listening. He must have heard Karen Blackwell’s coded message to him, too.

Lilah didn’t like the look Gwen was giving her.

“Oh, come on. It’s his fault. He gave someone his venom and his thirteen-year-old sister’s raped repeatedly with it and you expect me to what...what go down there and strike up a fucking conversation?”

Lander picked his head up, but it was a little too late to be just getting the message.

Hanging her head, Gwen said, “I wanted to be like you. For as long as I could remember. Tall like you, skinny like you. I even wanted the curly hair. For a second, I thought maybe that was where my obsession with Gus-Gus came from. But it’s not. It’s because nothing had the amount of integrity you do.”

The words sounded positive enough, but her voice held a note of disgust.

“And nobody can. Nobody ever can. Nobody can live up to your expectations, and the ones who can’t are fucking disposable and that means everybody. Right?”

Lilah bit her lip to keep from saying something she might regret.

“Does Essy know about you two?” Gwen waited and when Lilah didn’t answer, she sighed. “So now Karen Blackwell’s throwing out hurtful things like that. Essy’s mad at him. And you...you don’t want him.”

Lilah glanced at the window. The sight of Lander still standing there was one that turned her stomach. “Look at him.... What has he ever done right to deserve all those free passes? Huh? I sat up studying by myself because my parents, despite one of them near dying, had to run after poor, pitiful Lander. He could do anything he wanted, and we all felt bad for him as if he can’t help himself.” She shook her head. “His thirteen-year-old sister, Gwen. She’s seven months pregnant and the medics said it’s years of getting venom. What the fuck does that say to you?”

Gwen shed a tear, but then she was always so sensitive. “I’m sure he didn’t know.”

“And I’m not so sure he wouldn’t have given over that venom just so he’d get another pat on the back from people who don’t care about him. So no. I’m not going to be strolling around hand in hand with the likes of that.”

Lander eased off the light pole, finally. Gwen also stood. She seemed crestfallen when she said, “It must be so hard for you to be the only saint alive, to never make a mistake, to never cause damage. But you are causing damage. You knew he could hear. And saying all this is just cruel. We’re not playthings. We’re your friends. You don’t have to keep us at arm’s length for fear we’ll hurt you.”

“That’s honestly not it. How can you...how can you sympathize with Lander?”

“How can you not? How can you possibly not sympathize with him? He caused pain he hadn’t intended. Someone gained his trust, bought his trust—and he was so desperate for that pat on the head you talked about that he gave a piece of himself for it. If someone acted like they liked you and accepted you and all you had to do is give them your spit. Wouldn’t you give it?”

They stared each other down before Lilah finally said, “No. No, I wouldn’t. I have more pride than that.”

“Well how fucking fortunate for you.” Gwen slammed the radio down and walked out. “No wonder you’re alone. Karen Blackwell should have slapped you a little harder.”

Her heavy footfall against the steps faded. The front door banged shut.

Gwen was a bleeding heart—hell, so was Escott. But being friends with Lander never did anybody any good. Lilah was fearful. To her, her own responses and actions made sense, but everyone around her didn’t see it that way. For a moment she feared something was wrong with her. She feared she was making a mistake. And when she thought of Lander and could muster up little to no sympathy, she worried about why.

Gwen, Ms. Invisible, shined under the light poles as she rushed down the street. She pulled Lander to a halt, an action that startled him enough to shrug her away. Hands in his pocket, Lander barely cut her a glance as he walked on.

Simply leaving was never Gwen’s style, though. She was a friend no matter what. Hell, Escott was a friend no matter what. Lilah struggled to feel the same way but...nothing.

When Gwen caught up to Lander again and held his shoulder, though, Lilah felt some relief that the shrugging away of her hand was considerably gentler. Lander was heading home. The way he nodded might have meant Gwen would walk him to make sure he didn’t drown himself in the lake.

Lilah shook her head.

She picked the radio up and sat back as she turned it on.

“Got a new song for you tonight,” the announcer said. “One night only at none other than Big Henry. DeGrasse.”

Lilah looked down at the device in her hand.

“Get your tickets early. Talent like this hasn’t been with us in over twenty years.”