Shiva’s hard hooves were surprisingly soundless on the mount path that ran alongside the roads in Mist Haven. She didn’t hesitate when we reached the bridges that crossed over the roads, just ran up the non-slip rubber mat then down the other side. I was used to riding horse-like mounts, but even my stomach tightened a little at the speed that she handled the bridges. She was going a lot faster than most of the training mounts. But every time she landed on the ground again, adrenaline pumped through me, making me look forward to the next challenge.

That lasted until Mist Haven’s huge gate came into view. There were two openings to the twenty-foot wall around the town, one in front and one in back. They were closed during the night, but during the day, they were wide open.

I didn’t even realize that I pulled on Shiva’s reins until she slowed to a standstill just inside the gate. It didn’t even take a lot of pressure for her to react. But my attention wasn’t on her, it was on the forest on the other side of the gate. Huge pine trees rose into the air around the two-lane road and mount path, throwing oddly shaped shadows everywhere. Bushes and yellow late-spring flowers spread across the ground, mixing with the random orange-ish rocks that stabbed into the sky. Insect songs hummed in the air.

It seemed so peaceful. Such an illusion.

Once I passed this gate, the next safe place was twenty-five miles east of here. And west? Well, Mist Haven was the last human settlement until California. Everywhere between here and the coast was monster territory.

There were human settlements in the Montana Wilds, but I didn’t know anything about them. A group of Hunters took over that area – along with some of Canada – when the Gates first appeared fifty years ago and governments first collapsed. The American government had attempted to reclaim that land recently, only peaceful negotiations weren’t working.

But that didn’t impact my life, really. Right now, what mattered was the innocent-looking forest on the other side of the wall.

Shiva continued to stand like a statue while I pulled out the map Uncle Maveric gave me and spread it open. The map touched her neck. Her slender left ear flopped back in my direction as if curious, but she didn’t startle.

“Such a good girl,” I mumbled and touched her shoulder under the map. I’d never actually seen such a mild tempered mount. Was it because she was a herbivore? It’s true that carnivores tended to be more temperamental.

The place Uncle Maveric marked was eleven miles east and half a mile to the south of the road. Instead of cutting through the forest, it would be easier to take the mount trail along the road and then work south at the eleven mile marker. Most monsters had enough intelligence to avoid the road, since Hunters were always patrolling it. So as long as I stayed near the road for the most part, I shouldn’t run into trouble.

I put the map away and gripped Shiva’s reins. I closed my eyes and took a second to breathe through the nerves that jumbled in my stomach. Then I opened my eyes and clicked my tongue. Shiva jumped forward, sprinting down the path.

We hadn't gone very far before I noticed a group of Hunters on mounts coming in my direction. I’d been around enough armor to spot good quality at a glance and their mounts were just as amazing. The lead rider was a man in black leather armor, riding a large white tiger with wings coming out of its back.

I steered Shiva to the side of the path and stopped under a tree to let the group go past. There weren’t any cars on the road, so they could have easily gone around me, but I didn’t want any trouble on my first day. Like Uncle Maveric said, Hunters still followed the rules of ‘the weak bowed to the strong.’ And I wasn’t strong. It was best if I stayed away from such people, until I knew who it was safe to approach, and who would try to lord over me.

I could tell from just the gear and mounts, that these Hunters were strong. Very strong. Flying tigers weren’t just extremely rare, they were also an A ranked monster and didn’t accept riders that were weaker than them. I’d never even seen one in real life, just pictures in books. The rider wasn’t even using a bridle to steer his mount, just a loop around the large cat’s neck and a soft saddle on its shoulders between the large white wings tucked into its side.

I didn’t even know you could steer a mount without a bridle. Since when was that possible? Or was the man just so strong, the mount subconsciously obeyed him? What a scary thought.

It wasn’t until they were closer that I recognized the craftsmanship on some of their gear. Most of them were made by my uncle. Of course, he was the best armorer around and I’d handled his work enough to identify his skills at a glance. But the lead man in black leather, his armor wasn’t made by my uncle. Whoever made it, it was done beautifully. Even the elaborate emblem made out of blue gems over his heart – a sword rising out of a cloud – was exquisite.

I wonder if my uncle knew he had competition? Strong competition, from the looks of it. Funny, I’d never seen that craftsmanship in Eden or Garden City. So was it a local armorer?

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The Hunter’s auras suddenly washed over them when they came within range. Instantly, my body felt like a million pounds, trying to flatten me to the ground. Hunters naturally exuded auras, like an odorless cloud of perfume, telling others how strong they were. Most Hunters could control the effect enough to hide them with practice, so they didn’t affect the humans around them who had no aura – ergo, no protection from the Hunter aura. Some Hunters didn’t care enough about weaker people around them to hide it. Certain strong Hunters – mage and melee alike – could even control their aura enough to use it like a weapon.

As uncomfortable as it was for me, I didn’t blame them for not controlling their auras. I doubted there was a monster strong enough in the area that would willingly attack this group of people. Any monster close enough would turn tail and flee. These people weren’t just riding from one town to the other, they were scaring monsters away from the road.

Only one person in the group of six seemed to notice me as they rode by – the lead man on the flying tiger. His head turned in my direction – no, it was more like Shiva's direction. After he focused on her, he looked at my face. I didn’t even have a chance to lock eyes with him before he was past and gone in a cloud of dust.

Now that the path was clear, I clicked my tongue and urged Shiva forward. I had more important things to do than to meet the other Hunters in the area. If I didn’t collect the Fire Marten’s fire sac by the end of the day, I’d never be able to join the Hunter’s Association, anyway. First and foremost, I needed to pass my task, then I’d worry about other things.

Not long after, I pulled Shiva to a stop. She waited patiently while I took the map and a compass out and checked them. The Guide that Hunters were given a GPS function that helped with navigation. Since I didn’t have a Guide yet, I had to do things the old fashion way. Luckily, what I did have was a good sense of direction.

“This should be eleven miles,” I muttered to myself and put the map and compass away. The Fire Martens were a mile south of here. “Get them, and get home,” I chanted to myself. “Prove…” My voice died out before, I could finish the sentence. Prove that I’m worth it.

I’d never been able to verbalize that insecurity. Not even to myself. If I didn’t voice it, it wouldn't exist, right?

I knew what I had to do. It was time to leave the safety of the mount path and go into the forest. Yet I couldn’t bring myself to urge Shiva forward.

The last time I went into this forest, my mother died.

My stomach twisted until it was so painful, I wanted to bend over. A cold sweat broke out over my brow and I couldn’t stop the shivers that shook my body. My heart sped up and stuttered, and I had to consciously keep my breathing steady.

I was so excited to do this, why was I hesitating now? Somewhere in the back of my numb mind, I could hear my old councilor’s soothing voice, explaining this was a PTSD reaction. But I thought I had gotten past that. Were all those years of counseling pointless? Was I going to fail this task, before I even got in the forest?

The late morning sun beat down on the trees, making the quaking aspen leaves pop like neon lights between the tall evergreens. Short trees and brush gently swayed in a gentle breeze and the rainbow of flowers were charming. It was the picture of a nature-lover's paradise.

It looked like Hell to me.

Shiva’s ear flopped back and she shifted, obviously aware of the anxiety that rocked me.

Go in, I ordered myself. Go inside the forest. I have to. I … can’t let this terror dictate my whole life.

But I couldn’t move.

Dimly in the back of my mind, I was aware of the sound of several cars getting closer on the road ten feet behind me. I heard them, but I couldn’t take my eyes off the nightmarish forest ahead of me.

Suddenly a squeal of brakes and a loud horn blared in the distance.

I jumped in surprise and turned around with wide eyes.

Shiva reacted faster. She didn’t spook or dump me on the ground, but she turned her head towards the noise and stepped a couple feet to the right.

Two identical white large SUVs pulled off onto the north side of the road not far from me, crunching the loose gravel under their tires as they stopped. A couple men jumped out of the cars and yelled at each other with animated, near-aggressive gestures.

I didn’t know what they were saying – I was too far away to hear – but I was grateful for their interruption. Their misfortune was enough to break through my anxiety. I still felt a little shaky, but I didn’t feel like I was going to collapse anymore. I was fine. I was going to be fine.

Before I lost my nerves again, I pointed Shiva towards the woods and nudged her sides softly. She immediately stepped forward.

Breathe in, one, two, three, four, I chanted to myself as the trees grew closer. Breathe out, one, two, three, four. Just like my therapist taught me years ago. It’s been a long while since I used this method, but it was still helpful.

I couldn’t help but close my eyes just before Shiva stepped past the tree line. Since I didn’t stop her, she kept walking even though I couldn’t see. I trusted her enough to not steer us into a tree. A tall bush brushed against my foot, causing me to flinch. The smell of pine and flowers grew stronger than ever.

I was back. Back in the forest that killed my mother. The place where my childhood ended. Now, it was the place where my adulthood would start.

I still wasn’t fine, but I opened my eyes, anyway.

I couldn’t go through life with my hands over my eyes anymore. Not if I wanted to live in the Hunter society. Not if I wanted to prove to myself and Dad that I didn’t need to be coddled anymore. If I wanted a future without fear, I had to face the trauma of my past.