The Hunter’s Association building wasn’t nearly as busy as it was yesterday – with good reason. It was already after ten thirty, so the mass of jostling Hunters had already picked up their tasks and gone. And that was bad for me. I was left with the unwanted dredges that no one wanted.

I might have to start sleeping at the shop, I thought to myself. I could take out travel time from Mist Haven that way. Oh, and start waking up earlier. Ugh.

Without any obstructions, I walked up the counter of the Tasks Desk.

A man sat behind, chugging down Coke and still looking a little frazzled from the morning hustle. He set down the Coke with a decisive clunk. “Task number?” He waved his hand to bring up his blue Guide screen, all without looking at me.

My brows pulled together, but I pressed out a smile. “I don’t have one yet. Are there any E Marks or Tasks left?” If it only required one monster, I could always find another to kill to complete the System’s daily task.

He finally glanced at me, his lips thinning. “Not that many,” he said, his voice thick with disapproval.

Note to self, come better prepared next time. Looking at his grumpy expression each morning would start every day off the wrong way.

He tapped on his screen for a bit, then flipped it. As soon as it faced me, words appeared on the originally blank screen. “Take a look. And get the Task App.” He picked up his drink and took another sip.

I ignored his attitude and focused on the disheartening short list of E tasks on the screen. There were exactly three options. I stared at them while pulling up my own Guide to figure out the details, such as what the requested item/monster was and where to find it.

The two Mark hunts available were too unrealistic. It would take three hours for Shiva to travel to either. Round trip, plus fighting time, would put me dangerously close to missing the employee meeting tonight. If Shiva ran the whole way, we could get there in a quarter of the time, but it was unfair to work her so hard when the pay wasn’t even that good.

The last available task was manageable – go collect suspy droppings.

I inwardly cringed at the label. Technically, it wasn’t awful … just unpleasant. The monster ate dirt and pooped out ruby-like turds. There wasn’t any liquid involved, so there was no ‘mess’ or stink. But picking up something that went through a monster’s digestive tract was still a turn off. Which is probably why it paid well, all things considered. It wasn’t asking to fight the monster, just pick up what it left behind.

Letting out a long sigh, I searched where the closest suspy lair was. Okay, an hour travel time was still acceptable. As long as I didn’t encounter the sow, I should be fine. A fully grown suspy was C ranked, but the piglets were E ranked. That could work for my daily task.

I looked at the Associate employee. “I’ll take this one.” I pointed it out.

He glanced at it, then smirked. “Okay.” He drew out the word, barely holding back the mocking tone.

I frowned, his attitude starting to rub at me. The hell? He was an E, too. He didn’t have any right to condescend me like this. But I didn’t pick a fight with him, just filled out the needed information, and left. I didn’t have to contact the buyer – the Hunter’s Association handled all the in-between work for the Hunter and buyer. For a fee, of course. The Hunter simply dropped off the requested item, and the buyer picked it up after they were contacted.

As soon as I left the desk, a System screen popped up. Ding! [Task (Collect 1lb of Suspy Droppings) was added to Tasks.]

This thing knew everything I did, huh? That was fine – convenient even – as long as it wasn’t malicious. Unfortunately, I still didn't know what it wanted from me. What did I even do to activate it?

Stewing on the subject wasn’t going to get me anywhere. Since it knew my thoughts, it could easily answer my questions, but it didn’t. I’d just have to wait until I figure it out myself.

As for now, I needed to focus on my immediate task: picking up monster shit.

*****

Three decades ago, global sized earthquakes wracked the world. Mountains came tumbling down, valleys ripped apart, islands sank into the ocean and even the shape of the continents changed. The rips and tears of that earth shattering event were everywhere – just like the one in front of me.

The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

Shiva and I were happily walking through the thick forest when suddenly, the ground vanished from under Shiva’s feet. A giant fissure cracked open the mountain, leaving a red sandstone u-shaped gorge almost a mile long. There weren’t any plants at the bottom of the steep rocky walls, just a bunch of lumpy sandstone pillars that looked like a child had stacked random rounded blocks on each other – I think they’re called hoodoos? Weird, I know.

The gorge was the suspy’s lair.

I slipped off Shiva’s back and patted her back to let her know to stay. Then I scaled the twenty foot wall down to the bottom of the fissure, trying to be as quiet as possible. I barely touched down when I heard a piggish squeal echoing off the walls around me. The hair rose on the back of my neck and my heart jumped to my throat.

I lunged behind the closest hoodoo and pressed against the warm rocky structure. Please don’t see me, I thought desperately. I didn’t know how big the group of suspies was yet. It could be one or two, or several dozen. The piggish grunts echoed off every surface of the gorge, making it hard to figure out the monster’s locations.

My mouth pinched to the side as I considered moving. Unsure, I leaned around the hoodoo. It didn’t look like there was a monster nearby, but I could hear it…

Just when I thought it was okay to start looking for monster poo, something moved behind a hoodoo. A second later, a small monster wobbled into view. Its brown body was shaped like a furry, round pig. Stumpy pig legs tucked up under its round tummy and a pink, bald curly tail rose in the air behind it. Its pink head was bald and looked like a noseless goblin. Its circular, beady white eyes were spaced a little too far apart and its large jawed mouth stretched all the way across its face. Two demented pixie wings sprouted from its hairy back, fluttering frantically to keep the plump monster haphazardly in the air. Like really, it wasn’t even ugly cute – it was just ugly. A title bar over its head read: [Suspy Lv 4].

The suspy wobbled over to a tall hoodoo and nudged the red sandstone, as if testing the rock. There wasn’t a speck of life on the rock, so what was it looking for? I didn’t have to wait long for the answer. The suspy opened its wide mouth, looking like its head was cracked in half, and bit into the hoodoo with its powerful jaw. It took a chunk of rock off, with barely any resistance.

My stomach twisted into a frozen knot. God, what if that was my arm it was biting? If a level five suspy could do that to solid rock, my flesh wouldn’t stand a chance.

I glanced at the hoodoo I was hiding behind. I thought they looked like wonky blocks a giant had stacked together. I thought they were formed by water or wind eroding the gorge that an earthquake created. It just dawned on me – the hoodoos were created by the suspies chewing on the rocks. Ugh, does that mean every inch of this place was covered in suspy saliva?

My nose wrinkled and I looked back at the monster. It swallowed its chew with an exaggerated movement of its head. A long tongue drooped out of its mouth, like a satisfied dog. Suddenly, the monster convulsed … and a long, multi-faceted red gem plopped out of its back end.

The suspy fluttered away in obvious satisfaction.

I stayed glued in place, staring at the red gem on the sandstone. Go pick it up, I ordered myself. Come on, go get it. That is what this job was all about. No fighting, just … picking up shit.

Admittedly, I’d touched a lot of gross stuff in my family’s shop over the years. Blood and guts galore. But I had to admit, this was a new thing for me. Even when intestines were involved, I was always careful to make sure the stuff inside stayed inside. Shiva was my first pet, and other people were hired to take care of her living space. Okay, okay, I was spoiled. I admit it. After all this time, I didn’t expect to have such a ‘growing experience.’ And it was totally self-inflicted, since I chose the task myself.

I’m never doing something like this again, I vowed. Nope, na-ha.

Taking a deep breath through my nose, I took a pair of blue latex gloves out of my Items Bag and slipped them on. I could keep the suspy droppings in my Items Bag, but I had to touch them to do it. Ugh.

The question – aside from the obvious ‘where are all the other suspies?’ – was how many of these little treasure nuggets make a pound? I didn’t have a scale on me, I’d hate to go all the way back to Boulder just to find out I didn’t have enough.

This was my first real task, not something Uncle spoon fed me. Hunters were rated according to their completion of the task, just like how buyers were rated for their fairness in the jobs they offered. While Hunters weren’t restricted from taking a task, if they turned in a less than satisfactory item, they could receive a fine for making the buyer post the task again. If the Hunter screwed up enough tasks, they were kicked out of the Association.

In order to not mess up my first job, I should just collect droppings until I knew I had more than I needed. I could always sell the extra ones at the shop for a couple bucks.

I got this, I told myself. I can touch the dropping. It’s not like it was smelly or soft, and I was wearing gloves. It was just a gross gem. Just a … really gross gem. Yeah.

I glanced around, looking for movement. When I didn’t see any, I ducked low and hurried to the red dropping. I only hesitated a second before I grabbed it. It was about the size of my thumb and weighed as much as a fun sized candy bar. I was going to need a lot of these things to fill the task. Crap.

I lifted my head, looking for more oblong stones on the red sandstone ground.

… At the same time a suspy teetered around the hoodoo. I froze, suddenly inches away from the suspy’s ugly face.

*****