Chapter 1 - Wong Batul
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In all aspects of the term, Wong Batul was a completely ordinary college student. He was twenty years old, in the middle of his sophomore year. He had spiky black hair (that just wouldn’t go down) that he lazily left unkempt every morning. Finally, he had a skinny, medium build, the type that resulted from going to the gym once every few years.
Just like any other college student, Wong was lazy. If he was taking a class, he would make sure to show up to as few lectures as possible. If he had an assignment, without fail, he would wait until the day before to start it. He was someone who would constantly ride the edge of mediocrity. Many who knew him would say that, although it wasn’t likely that he would achieve much in his life, he could probably still achieve a little. He might not become a prestigious doctor, but he could probably be a nurse’s assistant - or maybe, one of the hospital’s lead janitors.
But underneath his mundane looks, Wong was smart. This smartness was not in terms of studies, or even street smarts - rather, he was smart at being lazy. From the moment he had arrived at college, he had meticulously arranged his life so that he would have to interact with as few people as possible, do as little work as possible, and ideally, spend all of his time sitting alone in his room reading online novels and eating ice cream. In this manner, you could say that Wong was hard-working.
There was one thing that Wong Batul was adamant about - his poops. He was very particular about how he pooped. Call him picky, but Wong could not stand pooping in anything much less than ideal conditions. It had to be clean, it had to be spacious, and most importantly, he had to be alone. There was nothing Wong hated more than going on with his business, peacefully pooping in his little cubicle, when some other buffoon strode into the cubicle right next to him and disturbed his sanctuary. He would have to sit there for ages, listening to the other guy shit and puckering his own poor asshole, before the guy finally left and he could finally resume his business.
This was why he never pooped in his own dorm. Those giant, dirty, dorm bathrooms - every time he thought about them, he involuntarily shuddered. There were only two on every floor, shared among dozens of students, with people constantly walking in and out. The stalls were dirty and small, and there was seldom a moment you could poop alone - Wong couldn’t stand it.
However, the admissions building was right next to his dorm, and as Wong quickly discovered, it had a lot of nice bathrooms. Not on the first floor, as there would frequently be prospective students and staffs people there. However, in the basement… that was where the good stuff was, where the offices were - where normal people rarely went. There, there was an entire line of clean, private, single-stall bathrooms, just waiting for people to take peaceful shits in.
That was where Wong had just came from. As he strode down the road from the admissions building back to his dorm, he hummed a happy tune. He had just taken, he dared say, one of the best shits of his entire life. The whole experience has been amazing - he had walked into the building, no one noticing him or questioning why he was there. He had then stealthily worked his way down to the basement, and after seeing the wall of private rooms, entered the second private stall he saw - he couldn’t pick the first, because it was still a bit too mainstream (what if someone knocked on the door)? Then, he had sat, and just easily let it all out. He had eaten a gigantic meal for lunch (two whole burritos), so there was a lot. Even so, there was no constipation or wetness - the whole thing was a very simple, clean experience. As it should be. After scrolling his phone for another half an hour, he left, satisfied.
As he walked down the street, eyeing his dorm approaching from the right, Wong was the happiest he had been in months. This was how life was supposed to be - simple and stagnant. Eat, sleep, shit… this was the beautiful cycle of life. It almost brought a tear to his eyes. How could he ask for any more?
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He was so euphoric that he didn’t notice a water bottle lying in the middle of the street, directly in his encroaching path. Even if he wasn’t so distracted, he still might not have noticed it. After all, it was just a water bottle. If he had looked down, he would have noticed it was Evian brand. Some rich snob (like seriously, who buys Evian??) had probably dropped it and never bothered to pick it up, littering it in the street.
But this was Wong’s crucial mistake. Never could he have imagined that this single water bottle, simple as it was, would lead to the biggest change in his life.
This change would start with death.
Wong tripped on the water bottle. Feeling it slip from underneath him, his entire body lurched and flipped backwards.
As he fell, and the starry night sky entered his vision, Wong instantly could sense that this was the end. It was just an unexplainable feeling - he just knew for certain that in the next few moments, he would have passed on.
Wong was filled with regret. If only he hadn’t chowed down on that second burrito… then he wouldn’t had to take a shit so badly, and then he wouldn’t have had to head down to the admissions building. Then, he would never have had to walk down this shitty littered street, tripping on this stupid plastic bottle that would be his end. But it had been such a good burrito…
As his head approached the hard paved street, Wong felt his life flash before his eyes. Every cringy moment of his twenty years came rushing back to him - that time in fifth grade when his pants had ripped, exposing his bare butt to everyone in the class. That time in seventh grade when he had laughed a little too hard at something in class, and everyone looked at him weirdly. That time in senior year when Amber Jones had rejected his prom proposal, laughing at him in his face.
But still, the good times also came - that one time, after ten continuous hours, he had finally won a FortNite round (by abusing the SMG). That time when he hadn’t studied at all for the history test and still got an A. That time just a few minutes ago when he had taken one of the best shits of his life.
But it was all over now. It was too late for any more thoughts. His head hit the floor, and he went unconscious.
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“Impossible!” An old man shouted out. He was staring into a crystal ball that had suddenly lit up with a radiant starry light. The whole of the dim room was lit up with this brightness, illuminating the old man’s face, which was weathered and wise-looking.
“It’s impossible…” the man man continued to mumble, his lips shuddering. “It can’t be… it’s just a legend! The legendary Evian Warrior… was he just born, into this world?”
At that moment, the light left the crystal ball, leaving the room in darkness. A moment later, another light appeared, hovering a few inches above the old man’s hand - a blurry figure of a water bottle (Deer Park brand). This spirit illusion gave the room a dim glow, allowing the old man to stumble toward the crystal ball once more, feeling it all over with his other hand.
“The world is due for change…” the old man suddenly mumbled. He shook his head sagely, as if his years were finally catching up to him. “A great tribulation is coming! Deer Park… Dasani… Poland Spring… those dominant forces who have been in power for so long, is that going to change?”
His eyes suddenly turned determined. “I must find this Evian warrior, before it’s too late! We must turn him to our side before he is turned against us!”
He left the room in a hurry.
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“So it’s happened.” A handsome young man smiled coyly, looking toward a crystal ball that had just lit up with a brilliant starry light. He was lying lazily down on a bed, lazily twirling a faint spirit mirage of a Dasani brand water bottle above his fingers. “Interesting… interesting! I hope I get to meet him, to see what he can do…”
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“He’s come, he’s come!!!” An old woman in a small hut was exclaiming, eyes full of tears. In front of her was a crystal ball, which had just shocked her when it had lit up with a bright starry glow. “The savior… the Evian Warrior! He will save us all!”
All around the continent, similar scenes were occuring. People rushed outside and lit bonfires, commemorating this historical event. This was destiny. The world was going to change!