Chapter 75 - Fried Calamari Armpits

As the blinding, supernova-like explosion faded, a stunned silence fell over us. What we saw next made our stomachs twist in dread—the squid-type Cosmic Beast had multiplied. No longer just one, but two colossal queen squids now loomed before us, their eerie, pulsating bodies radiating an unnatural glow.

From their writhing, translucent tendrils, smaller squids rapidly spawned like nightmarish spores, slithering through the void with terrifying ease. Within seconds, the battlefield was swarming—at least thirty drone squids now lurked in the darkness, their glowing eyes locked onto us.

“Myrrh, get back!” Agent Feena commanded, her voice sharp with urgency. Her Frame Unit raised its beam rifle and let loose a volley of brilliant energy blasts, each shot streaking like a comet towards the advancing swarm.

“G-got it!” Myrrh stammered, quickly engaging the omnidirectional thrusters attached to her Frame Unit’s back. The boosters flared to life, propelling her behind Agent Feena’s shield just in time.

Agent Feena’s precision was razor-sharp—each shot struck true, disintegrating a drone squid in a single hit. But no matter how fast she fired, the situation was spiraling out of control. With two queen squid Cosmic Beasts now doubling the rate of reproduction, the drones multiplied as quickly as she could take them down. For every one she destroyed, two more seemed to take its place, writhing and weaving through space like a tidal wave of bio-mechanical nightmares.

“Any time now, Zaft!” Agent Feena barked, her frustration evident. “Please tell me you have your Weapons of Mass Destruction ready!”

“Chill down,” I replied, fingers racing over my controls as I adjusted my parameters, switching my support target to Agent Feena. A smirk tugged at my lips as I threw in a jab. “Are all middle-aged unmarried women like you this impatient?”

“How dare you!” Agent Feena shrieked, her voice laced with both outrage and disbelief. “I’m not middle-aged! I’m just a few years older than you two kids!”

“Wow, so you’re already in your thirties?” Myrrh chimed in with a teasing grin, clearly enjoying the chance to gang up on our superior.

“I’m in my mid-twenties, you cheeky brats!” Agent Feena snapped, her frustration manifesting in the way her beam rifle suddenly fired twice as fast as before. Blazing energy bolts tore through the swarm of squid drones with newfound ferocity. “This is NOT the time to be making fun of your senior! Is the WMD series ready or not?! Or should I just have Myrrh get blasted by another supernova!?”

“H-hey! Are you seriously considering sacrificing me again just to activate the WMD series!?” Myrrh yelped, eyes widening in alarm.

“One moment,” I interjected, a smirk tugging at my lips as I finished calibrating my system. The holographic interface of my WEEB System pulsed beneath my fingertips, and in response, glowing crimson circuit patterns traced their way along my arms like flowing magma. “It’s all set. Agent Feena, I’ll be supporting you with a close-range weapon! Get ready!”

“Got it!” Agent Feena responded without hesitation. With a swift motion, she tossed her beam rifle to Myrrh. “Here! Cover me with support fire while I close in on the enemy!”

“Roger!” Myrrh caught the rifle and immediately took aim.

As beams of concentrated energy streaked across the battlefield, slamming into the swarm of squid drones, Agent Feena surged forward like a comet. Her light shield flared to life in front of her, a shimmering barrier that radiated with intense energy. The squid drones retaliated instantly, unleashing a barrage of crimson lasers in an effort to bring her down. But their attacks were futile—all of them deflected harmlessly against her shield, flickering like fireworks against an unbreakable wall.

When Agent Feena closed in to about two hundred meters from the enemy, I tapped the holographic interface of my WEEB System.

“Proton Slicer, Activate!”

A surge of crimson energy coursed through the system, and in an instant, Agent Feena’s right arm warped, transforming into a massive, kris-like sword. The blade was obsidian black, lined with intricate, pulsating energy panels that crackled with particle-charged protons. As the quantum spin accelerated, the entire blade became magnetized, humming with a force that bent the very fabric of space around it.

Then, the effect kicked in.

A powerful magnetic field burst outward, distorting the void like ripples in a pond. The moment it reached the swarm, the drone squids were wrenched toward Agent Feena, yanked helplessly through space like metal shards drawn to an industrial magnet.

Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.

“Eat this!” Agent Feena roared, gripping her newly-formed weapon with both hands. With a single sweeping motion, she carved through the clustered enemies, the blade leaving behind a dazzling arc of light. A pulse of raw electricity followed, expanding in a fifty-meter radius and engulfing the trapped drones in an unseen storm of electromagnetic energy.

In an instant, thirty drone squids convulsed violently as their bodies were sliced, fried, and vaporized into thick, dark smoke that dissipated across the battlefield.

Agent Feena smirked as she admired her handiwork. “Mmm. Smells like fried calamari in here.”

From the cockpit, our pilot, Agent Steve, muttered, “How the hell can she smell in deep space?”

“It’s just an expression, dumbass,” Feena shot back with an exasperated sigh. “Phew, this is awesome!”

But before we could even think about celebrating, the eerie glow of the two queen squids intensified. Their massive, grotesque bodies pulsed like living reactors, and from their writhing tendrils, more drone squids began to emerge—faster than before, growing in numbers like a self-replicating nightmare.

Just like before, Agent Feena wielded the magnetic properties of her Proton Slicer with deadly precision. The moment she activated its pull, the drone squids were helplessly dragged toward her like moths to a flame. Then, with a single devastating slash, she unleashed another electromagnetic wave, tearing through the swarm. One by one, the drones crackled, convulsed, and disintegrated into plumes of smoke.

As the next wave of enemies fell, Agent Feena grinned, her confidence unshaken.

“I can do this all day!” she taunted, spinning her blade in a flourish.

From the comms, Myrrh’s voice crackled through, laced with unmistakable jealousy. “Zaft, give me a weapon too!”

“Got it,” I replied, smirking as I raised my crimson circuit-covered hand and tapped into my WEEB System. Energy pulsed from my fingertips, locking onto Myrrh’s Frame Unit as I activated the next Weapon of Mass Destruction.

“Ion Cannon, Activate!”

Myrrh’s mechanical right arm shimmered, shifting and transforming in a cascade of metallic plates and glowing conduits. Within seconds, it had reformed into a sunflower-shaped cannon, its twelve gleaming petals housing solar-charged particle ion cells. The entire weapon hummed with raw, condensed energy.

A wicked grin spread across Myrrh’s face as she locked onto one of the queen squids. “Let’s fry the big one!”

She took aim and fired.

A brilliant bluish-white beam erupted from the sunflower cannon, a concentrated blast of ionized energy streaking through the void. The moment it struck the queen squid, the ions surged through its grotesque body, triggering a chain reaction.

Electric tendrils burst outward in an unpredictable web, arcing between the smaller squid drones like living lightning. Each enemy caught in the blast convulsed violently as their overcharged ion systems went haywire. The cascading effect continued, jumping from drone to drone until the entire swarm was caught in the storm.

One by one, they disintegrated into nothingness—reduced to glowing embers, then to ash, then to nothing at all.

The queen squid, its body fried beyond repair, let out a final, eerie shudder before its core ruptured. A brilliant explosion followed, sending a yellow-hued dust cloud rippling through deep space.

Silence hung for just a moment. Then, Myrrh let out an exhilarated laugh.

“Now that was satisfying.”

Seeing its twin obliterated, the remaining Cosmic Beast quivered, its grotesque, pulsating body flaring with ominous light. Its massive central eye dilated, glowing with a blinding intensity as energy rapidly gathered within its core.

Was it preparing to unleash another supernova?

“Oh no, you don’t!” Agent Feena roared, surging forward in a burst of thruster fire. Her Proton Slicer crackled with electromagnetic power, distorting the space around her like a gravitational storm.

The Cosmic Beast had no chance to react. The moment the field enveloped it, its massive form was yanked forward, dragged unwillingly into Feena’s range like prey caught in a vortex. Before it could resist, she executed a precise, lightning-fast slash—her blade cutting straight through its monstrous eye.

For a split second, the Cosmic Beast shuddered. Then—

A violent detonation ripped through the void, its body rupturing into a billowing yellow dust cloud. The shockwave dissipated, leaving behind nothing but empty space where the creature once loomed.

“Target neutralized,” Agent Feena declared through the radio, her voice as steady as ever. “Returning to base.”

“Roger that,” Agent Steve responded, guiding our spaceship forward with a satisfied hum.

As the two WAIFUs re-entered the hangar, their sleek Frame Units powered down, shifting back into their humanoid forms. The mechanical plating folded away seamlessly, revealing Myrrh and Agent Feena, battle-worn but victorious.

However, the moment they stepped onto the bridge, a peculiar scent drifted between them.

A familiar, unmistakable aroma.

They both smelled like fried calamari.

I made my way to the hangar, greeting them with a grin as they stepped off the bridge. "You girls should shower up. Your body odor is spreading through the ship." I smirked, waving a hand in front of my nose for added effect.

Agent Feena shot me a deadpan look, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Yes, Commander Zaft. Geez, kids these days are so disrespectful.”

Myrrh rolled her eyes, crossing her arms. "Zaft is always that disrespectful. You'll get used to his bullshit."

As we talked, Myrrh—still clad in her tight bodysuit—subtly raised an arm and gave her armpit a quick sniff. It was supposed to be an innocent, absent-minded gesture, but for some reason, the sight of it sent an unexpected jolt through my brain.

A weird, very weird realization hit me.

Oh no… do I have an armpit fetish now?

Before I could process this, Myrrh caught me staring. Her cheeks tinged pink, her blue eyes narrowing into a glare sharp enough to cut steel. If looks could kill, I'd be vaporized on the spot.

I let out an awkward laugh and quickly turned away, scratching the back of my head as if that would somehow erase my shame.

Then, before things could get any weirder, Agent Steve’s voice crackled through the ship’s P.A. system.

“All hands, prepare for another sortie. We are closing in on the Void Box.”

The moment of levity vanished in an instant. The air grew tense, the weight of our mission pressing down on us once more.