"We are gathered here today to celebrate the once eternal life of Mr. Weh. One cannot recall Weh's life without remembering how he loved his people and did anything to protect them."

Yuck. You'd think for someone who's known for his lies, this bull would roll off the tongue, but propping up a guy like this is harder than you think. Get this: He had anger issues, was a major voyeur, held his employees to these weird rules no one could ever keep (Or even agree on half the time) and could never return a phone call. Oh, and did I forget he was just plain lazy? He admitted to all his faults, had some drug-addled assistants write it and add in some edited bits from other people's stories for some extra pop, then marketed it as a way for ultimate profit. And it worked. My dad's kind of mad he never thought of that, but hey, you live and you learn.

I peer out the mansion window and everyone's here. Some are actually upset, like his bodyguards and personal choir, but I think most folks are here to make sure he's actually in the dirt. He's pulled these kinds of gags before and trust me, no one laughed. Wow, even his old business partner Sam came to see him. They always played it like they hated each other after the company split years back, but I always had a feeling they still had a few deals behind closed doors.

Well, can't draw this out any further. Time to go. Still not sure why they chose me to do the eulogy; even though his employees had plenty of dealings with mine (And none of them good, trust me.), we never officially met. His son said Mr. Weh was a fan of my work though, and I didn't want to be rude, so I agreed. I walk out to the stage but get stopped by my buddy Q right before I walk up. I hope it's a pep talk since he couldn't stand Weh either (His company got it worse than mine during one of Weh's mergers), but as he gets closer, I can tell that's the last thing on his mind.

"Dude, they didn't even spring for good food. They say this brown stuff is supposed to taste like honey, but it feels like sap!"

"Keep your voice down, man. Do you want to piss this crowd off?! Weh's son is sitting ten feet away."

"Oh please, now that his dad's gone, he's going to get as drunk and freaky as possible. We all heard the rumors, it's just a matter of time before we get proof."

"People did say that the only ones who saw him that weekend were the local whor- you know what, never mind. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I don't have time for gossip. I just want to finish this and leave, okay? Any words of encouragement?"

"Yeah, I got nothing. All I can say is if you do a good job, maybe we can get back a few employees from Weh's Son before the takeover's complete."

I flash him a look that shows how low I think our chances are, then head to the podium. Weh's Son gives me a thumbs up for support, and I unfurl my speech.

"We are gathered here today to celebrate the once eternal life of Mr. Weh. One cannot recall Weh's life without remembering how he loved his people and did anything to protect them. Let us not forget how he always gave them guidance, even if it was through unconventional means, and quickly built a reputation as a father figure to his employees. He expanded his company in record time, going across the middle east and Mediterranean to gain new business. He was vicious in making sure he was the best in the area, but it was all for family."

A quick gulp to hold back bile as my mind flashes to when he came to my region. I thought the torches he used were unnecessary, but the past is the past. Refocus on the script, and back to work.

"When his Son came and Weh rebranded the company, he truly showed how much he cared about community. Many said it was insane, even illogical how quickly he changed his business model, but the naysayers were proven wrong soon enough."

His employees don't even keep up with the revamped rules, so how much good did it really do? The minute Weh stopped holding conferences with his company, it all turned to shit. Nope, nope, don't think about that, you're almost done.

"Of course, his greatest hits were his love for nature, Fire and water sports, and his particular favorite, big game, especially when he wanted barbecue! In short, Weh will be honored forevermore for his work ethic, strong connections, and the love he shared."

A few laughs at the barbecue joke and a round of applause at the closing, and I'm bolting for the door. I see Q starting the boat, but I get stopped by Weh's Son and the bodyguards. Man, this is not my day.

"So, L-Boogie, great speech. I'm sure Pops would've loved it. You ever thought of joining the team full-time? Dad never really found someone who could fill Sam's spot on the board."

"No thanks, I'm fine with my dad's company. It's small, and sometimes has a lot of family squabbles, but it's home."

"Of course, totally understandable. Hey, how is your dad? I remember Dad's stories and he said he was quite the fighter in the day."

Don't do it. Don't let him rile you up.

"He's fine, just a bit sad nowadays. No one wanting to work with him and all that."

"Such a shame, really, but hey, risks of the business. Always have to be prepared for losses, right? Especially in your neck of the woods; always so damn cold, it's a miracle you guys held on so long."

All I do is nod and brush by his guards for the exit. All he's doing is gloating, waiting for me to strike and give him some ammo to say we're the bad guys. Still, the guy doesn't give up, and he places his hand on my shoulder. I turn to face him with the best fake smile I can muster.

"Oh, and one more thing. We've been floating this idea of having some smaller companies make some comebacks. Nothing major, y'know, just some pop-ups to make it seem like things aren't going well before we launch our new ad campaign."

Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

"Let me guess, more guys in skinny jeans and songs about building an army?"

"See, I knew you'd get it! So anyway, I looked at the list and you seem like the perfect guy to ask about this. What do you say? Want to feel like a big guy again?"

I don't know why, maybe it's the tone, or the hand on my shoulder, but that's the final straw. I pull out my claws and fangs and strike. Before anyone can respond, he's on the floor and I'm ripping at those stupid nails of his. His bodyguards raise their swords to take me out, but soon I'm pulled off by none other than Sam, who's now pushing me to the door and apologizing to the guards.

"These young guys, I tell ya! Sometimes things just get a bit heated, yeah? No reason to make a hasty decision. I'll take him home."

Before I can argue, I'm getting pushed onto Q's boat with Sam hopping in after me. He motions for Q to start rowing and he complies, not wanting to argue with such a legend. I, on the other hand, am in perfect arguing shape.

"Why did you stop me? It doesn't matter how much of a generous facade the guy puts on; he's a self-centered douche."

"And you don't think I know that? Who do you think tried to talk Weh out of having him in the first place? That argument was part of the reason the company split."

"Really, split? You guys have been chummy way after that split."

He seems hurt by my statement, but he doesn't disagree.

"Look, I'm the first to admit that we had a few bets and freelance partnerships after we divided everything, but it wasn't supposed to go that way. I made those contracts to try and make him look worse, not better, but he was always a master at optics."

I'm not in the mood for a history lesson, so I get up and walk below deck. Sam seems persistent though, and he follows me.

"I know what Weh did to your family, and it's horrible. I also know you're not the only one, and neither is your friend Q. There are dozens of companies that got screwed by YAH International, and none of them deserved it."

"Your point? Stating the obvious doesn't bring my family's reputation back. We've been the butt of the joke for years while even the slightest jab at Weh gets you beat up. How am I supposed to find a bright spot in that?"

Sam starts to pace the floor, planning what to say next. At first, I think he's prepping a lie, but I can't detect it. Only fear. Soon enough, he turns back to me with a serious look and asks me a question I can't believe.

"What if we could jab back? In a big way? No more YAH International except in history books."

"I'd... be intrigued, but to what end? Weh has fucked up everyone's alliances so much we'd all kill each other before we realize we could just reestablish separate areas of control."

"That's the hard part. We need to shut down all the companies, for good."

I don't know whether I should laugh or leave again. Shut down everyone? This had been their livelihood for centuries, and the plan was to just leave it all behind? It was idiotic at best, but somehow, I wanted to hear the rest of his pitch.

"How would we do that? There's too many people to do something on that scale."

"I'm not saying it'd be quick, but it'd be worth it. We educate them instead of control them; give them something to work with through themselves, not us, and in time the problem would take care of itself. Sure, there'll be a lot of ad campaigns to keep influence, and things will get ugly for a while like last time, but just like then, progress can't be stopped."

A part of it all made sense. Why fight head-on with old tactics and products when you can create an entirely new alternative? Weh's son would never expect such a thing, and certainly not an alliance. A part of me wants to say yes, but I hesitate; what about my family? We've worked desperately to survive, and if they find out I helped Sam with this, it'd crush them.

"What about the heads of the companies? What happens to everyone? Won't we end up like... like Weh?"

Sam nods and lets out a deep sigh. Clearly, this is not a plan he made lightly.

"Loki, it's a hard pill to swallow, but they don't need us anymore. Sure, we were helpful when the world had a lot of unanswered questions, and when natural disasters came and they needed guidance, but we're holding them back now. They need to fight for each other, not with, and certainly not over our dusty asses."

"What... what would I tell my dad? My brother would kill me before I walk out the room."

"When it's all said and done, you tell them you're sorry, and you cherish the time you have left. The harder we keep fighting this, the worse it gets for us and them. At least this way we go out on our own terms with a little bit of dignity left, and when YAH International retaliates, which we know they will, in worse ways than ever before at that, we do what we were made to do: Protect and guide, until we can fade peacefully."

Sam turns to leave. He wants to give me time to think, but I know he needs an answer sooner than later.

"How much of this plan is already set up?"

"95%. All I need are partners to help me keep it hidden from Weh's group until the time is right. I wouldn't be asking if I didn't already test all other options."

I walk over to Sam, tears in my eyes. The thought of disappointing my family again, especially in this way, is almost more than I can bear, but I can't help but agree with Sam. I refuse to let Weh's underlings win for good, much less with such a smug look on their faces.

"Weh amassed an empire, and all he used it for was to bathe the world in even more blood as people starved, died of diseases, and went through unimaginable trauma under his care, and barely anyone has been able to realize that. If we do this, we make it hurt, no matter the cost. Deal?"

Sam at first seems shocked, but then he pulls me in for a hug and starts laughing like a little kid.

"There's the boy who used to lead giants into war! We're going to put that wolf to good use, but first, let's talk to Q. If anyone can help spread learning while blowing a few tornadoes Weh's way to keep him confused, it's him."

Sam leads me on deck to talk to Q. This plan still seems counterintuitive to everything I've been told throughout my life, but for the first time in a long while, I feel excited; excited to have a purpose again, even if it's for a short while, and excited to work with my friends. I had to make a promise to myself: No matter who I piss off, who comes after me, I stick to the path, because for once this is no longer about us. It's about the billions who plan their every waking moment around us, and still go through unprecedented horrors. It's about truly having the free will Weh loved to tote and protecting that right no matter what. And for me, it's about finally finding justice for my people. One way or another, YAH International would pay for their crimes against humanity, cultures, and deities alike, and even I can't lie about that.