I pace back and forth in my room, next to my bed.

When Orien stormed out of the dining room, everyone was looking at me like I had some sort of plague. But, once Strider and Theon left the room, everything seemed to go back to normal because it was only my friends and I left.

At first, we were all quiet as we ate our breakfast but then after Pierce broke the silence then all of our mouths learned how to work again. We stuffed our faces until we were full and then we were all escorted back to our rooms as a group. That’s when June asked one of the guards if we could all hang out in one room for a bit. The guards immediately said no but then decided to get approval from Queen Amelia.

After hours and hours, realistically it was only a few minutes, Queen Amelia approved our request with a condition. We must have extra guards at the door of the room and they are allowed to walk in at any moment unannounced.

I am assuming these conditions are just in case we wanted to plan our escape or some sort of plan to kill the queen but, honestly, my friends and I all just want to be around each other and catch up. Especially after this morning.

“So, you going to stop pacing the room and actually tell us what is going on?” Cheleste says.

I continue to pace, ignoring her question. How do I tell my friends that I kissed a queen, a Magnificent? I don’t know how they will react, and honestly I don’t really want to find out.

“Xavier, obviously something is bothering you. You can tell us, you know. Whatever it is, we are here for you,” June says.

I take a minute to stop pacing and look back at my friends. Pierce and June are sitting on Pierce’s bed while Cheleste is on mine. They all look at me and Cheleste gives a slight nod of encouragement and a small smile of support. My heart starts to race and I can’t keep myself still anymore so I go back to pacing in front of them.

“Come on, I bet you will feel a lot better after you get whatever it is off your chest,” Pierce suggests.

I groan into my hands which turns into a muffled scream. I can tell this makes my friends more interested in what I have to say because June and Cheleste have a look of confusion all over their face while Pierce is looking like he is watching a very interesting play.

“I may… I…”

“Spit it out, man,” Pierce says.

“I kissed Orien,” I mumble.

“I’m sorry, what did you just say?” June asks. She leans in forward as if she didn’t hear me but I know that she did. “You kissed a magnificent?”

I look down at my feet and nod slightly. I am not ashamed of the kiss, however, I am ashamed that I have not talked to her since then. When we did kiss, she ran away quickly as if she wanted it to stop and she has been avoiding me ever since.

“Are you insane? Do you know how much trouble you could get in? You can’t just kiss A Magnificent! She could get you killed for this.” June explains this to me as if I didn’t already know.

The Magnificents are like gods. Average citizens can’t do anything towards them without facing consequences, good or bad. If Orien tells that I kissed her without her wanting it, she could get a guard to kill be in just a snap of her delicate fingers.

Those very same fingers that were wrapped around my neck last night. Soft and warm, her touch felt like a soft blanket on a cold, winter night. Her eyes could melt snow if she looked at it. Those golden eyes shine brighter than the sun itself and looks like treasure anyone would love to find. Something else that anyone would love to find is how good her lips felt on mine. Soft and warm, just like her hands but not like a blanket. Her lips felt more like a cloud rolling in on a mountain and opening up to give a firm hug to that mountain.

“Hey, snap out of it. You can’t do anything like that anymore, Xavier. You should try to avoid her as much as possible until we get out of her and pray that she doesn’t order your head to be sliced off,” June says.

June is right. If I risk doing anything else, I could get in serious trouble and even get myself killed. Avoiding her won’t be hard though since she is already doing a fine job at that.

“Come on, I think this would be great for him if she continues whatever this is with him. She seems level headed enough to be a good influence on him. Maybe she can help him finally take that stick out of his ass,” Cheleste says. She stares right at me when she is saying that last sentence as if she is telling me something.

I know I can be a drag sometimes but that’s because I like to stick to reality. Because I am not as delusional as most people, I tend to ward of everyone with my presence.

I glare at Cheleste but she has a good point as well. Both, Cheleste and June give me different looks of desperation. June’s eyes are begging me not to do anything more that could further complicate our situation. Cheleste’s eyes are telling me to go for it and if anything happens that I should go along with it.

I stop pacing and collapse onto the edge of the bed, burying my face in my hands. I can feel the weight of their eyes on me, the solence stretching out like an endless tunnel. What’s the right move here? They’re both right. But how can I avoid her when all I can think about is that kiss?

“Xavier, you need to think this through,” June says softly, her voice steady, but there’s an edge of concern. “I know you’re not an idiot, so don’t act like one. Orien is a Magnificent. You have no idea what she could do to you, to us, if you push this.”

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I look up at her, trying to make sense of her words, but all I can see is Orien’s face in my mind. That softness, that fire hidden beneath the surface. I don’t even understand what happened between us, but it feels like I’m stuck in some kind of whirlwind, spinning between desire and danger.

“She’s not just a Magnificent, June. She’s her,” I murmur, more to myself than anyone else. “I can’t explain it. I know the risks, I know the rules, but when she looks at me, everything goes out the window. I don’t know how to turn it off.”

Cheleste leans forward, crossing her arms as she watches my closely. “You don’t. You never will. But that doesn’t mean you have to let it control you, either.” Her tone is firm, but her eyes are soft, trying to balance out her bluntness with a little comfort.

“You think I should just… go after her then?” I ask, meeting her gaze.

She shrugs. “I think you’re being ridiculous if you don’t. You’ve got to stop pretending you don’t feel this thing. If it’s gonna end badly, it’ll end badly, but at least you won’t be sitting her wondering what if. Besides, she’s not going to bite your head off just for looking at her wrong. You’ve got to know that.”

I turn my gaze to Pierce, silently begging in him to offer some kind of answer. He’s been quiet through all of this, sitting with his elbows resting on his knees, watching the exchange with that contemplative look he gets when he’s trying to piece something together.

Pierce sighs and leans back against the wall. “Look, man. June’s right that it’s risky, but Cheleste has a point too. You can’t keep letting this fester inside you. You’re not exactly the type to fall for someone like that, so maybe this is something worth exploring- if only to figure out what is going on in your own head.”

I rub my temples, the pressure building again. It’s hard to think clearly with all the noise. They want me to make a decision, to act, but I feel stuck, like I’m being pulled in two directions and I don’t know which way to go.

“I just…” I hesitate, trying to find the right words. “I don’t want to make things worse. I don’t want to ruin everything between us, especially not when things are already tense with her family, with everything going on.”

“Then don’t ruin it,” June says, her voice sharp yet calm. “You don’t have to ruin anything. Just… leave it alone. You can’t control it, but you don’t need to make it worse either. Let things happen naturally, whatever that means.”

I lean back against the wall, staring at the ceiling. The noise in my head doesn’t stop, and I wonder if it ever will. What is Orien doesn’t feel the same way? What if she really did want me to stop, and I just misread the situation completely? What id I’m just some stupid human caught in the crossfire of something much bigger than I can ever understand.

“She hasn’t said anything to you, right?” Pierce asks, his voice breaking through my spiraling thoughts. “No, ‘I can’t believe you kissed me, that was a mistake’ talk”?

I shake my head, my heart tightening. “No. She hasn’t said anything.”

“Then you have no idea how she feels either,” Cheleste chimes in. “You don’t get to decide what’s going on in her head without talking to her. So, go talk to her.”

I stand up, pacing again, but this time it’s a slow, deliberate movement. “I don’t know. Maybe I should just… wait. I’m not the right guy for her. I’m not even supposed to be in this world with her, let alone entangle myself with her.”

“That’s your problem right there,” June says. “You don’t think you’re good enough for her. Well, guess what? You’re wrong. Just because she’s different from you doesn’t make you any less deserving of something real. If anything, that makes her more worthy of you. You shouldn't be afraid of what’s going to happen- you should be afraid of letting the fear win.”

I freeze, my breath caught in my throat. For a moment, it feels like June’s words pierce through the fog that’s clouded my mind. She’s right. This fear- this paranoia- has kept me from seeing what’s right in front of me. I’m scared because I don’t want to screw things up, but the reality is that if I don’t do something, I might lose her before I even get a chance to understand her.

“I… I think I’m just scared,” I finally admit, my voice quieter now. “Scared of losing her before I even get the chance to know her. Scared of making the wrong move.”

“That’s okay,” Cheleste says with a soft smile, standing up and crossing over to clap me on the back. “But you’ve got to make a move. Otherwise, she might end up wondering why you’re not taking your chance.”

I nod, feeling a sense of clarity settling over me. Maybe I don’t have to have everything figured out. Maybe I just have to act- now.

“Alright,” I say, standing taller. “I’ll talk to her. But only if you guys promise to be there when I mess it up.”

“You mess it up, we’re all here to pick up the pieces,” Pierce says, grinning.

I take a deep breath, knowing what I have to do.

And as I walk toward the door, I feel a small spark of hope that maybe, just maybe, this won’t end in disaster after all.