Chapter 54: The Glow, and Everything Beyond [Finale]
Violet fell back, a gasping panic rising to squeeze her heart. The cat watched with open alarm, fur beginning to rise, but Violet could think of nothing to say to her friend. Nor to the beast, which was drifting closer now, jaws grimly shut.
The first thought that came to her mind, almost accusingly, was that it seemed more sad than surprised. But….
No.
Violet shook her head, a numb incomprehension mounting. It was as though she’d stared into the heart of a demon, a horrible absence where there was supposed to be anything but. She was trembling too badly to stand and so instead crawled on her hands and knees towards the edge of the pool, still glowing so fiercely. And that confused her even worse, for how could such beauty be emanating forth from an absence? It felt impossible.
Wait. ---- Said the beast, a new urgency in its voice. ---- You shouldn’t—
It was too late, Violet found the edge of the pool and looked over. This time, for just a moment, she truly was dazzled, the sight shocked from her eyes and replaced with a field of blue so intense and perfect that everything else she’d ever seen was rendered pale and tawdry by comparison. Then her eyes adjusted again, and amidst a sickening surge of pain that twisted in the center of her head, Violet could see further than she’d ever expected.
The pool was not filled with fire, but she had known that, even if only in the back of her mind. It was water, startlingly clear and lit from within, utterly shadowless but for a textured bottom at which….
The beast settled next to her, becoming small and low, just as she was.
You see now. ---- It said, and sounded impossibly sad.
At the bottom of the pool, down some impossible distance, a scattered collection of cylindrical shapes lay amidst the twisted ruins of an ancient machine. They each glowed with an undying blue light, and though Violet tried again to reach out, a near feral desperation animating her efforts, it was like trying to scoop a rainbow into the palm of her hand. As beautiful as they were, as impossibly righteous…they were not real.
Slowly, Violet sat back, a desensitized numbness growing within her as she struggled to process what had just happened. She had come so far, gone through so much, only to end up with this.
“What is that?” She asked, voice small and hollow. There were tears welling in the corners of her eyes. The cat slipped up against her side, solid and comforting, but Violet hardly noticed.
Fuel. ---- Said the beast at last. There was a clipped shortness to its voice that betrayed a sorrowful distress on her behalf. ---- …Still burning away after all these years.
Violet tried to speak but found her throat plugged and her eyes overflowing. She sniffled and choked back a sob, but still could not manage so much as a word. She buried her face into her hands, the canvas cover of her notebook rough against one cheek. Tears blurred the sigil there.
The world was in collapse. Home felt further away than ever.
She was thinking about the pool now, the glowing water and the chunks of seething energy sunk down at the bottom. That was where the particles were coming from, the whole Glow, really. To acknowledge it made her feel small and stupid, as though she’d been tricked. And it hadn’t even been by anyone else. She’d done this entirely of her own volition, the journey had been nobody’s idea but her own.
“It’s alright.” Said the cat, but its words were stiff and uncomfortable. It clearly didn’t know what to do.
“No it’s not,” Violet mumbled from behind her hands. Even there she could still see glimmers of Glow piercing through her fingers. “Why did I do this? Why did I…I…if it’s all just dead and nothing….”
The beast shifted closer. On some distant level it felt nice to be sandwiched between friends, but Violet could not focus on that. After a moment her friend spoke, voice quiet and even.
You still made it here.
“My mother’s hair is falling out. My friend Maud has twisted legs. Is this why? Because of the particles and the…the Glow?” Violet asked.
The beast ground its teeth for an uncomfortable moment. It was looking at the shattered wall, its gaze tracking lower, to where cracks ran from the edge of the glowing pool, places where the foundation had been compromised.
Yes. ---- The word was small and bleak.
Violet found herself thinking of the little streams she’d seen while walking away from the refinery, their waters alight with Glow. With poisonous particles. A tiny groan leaked from between her lips.
“You couldn’t have known.” The cat said. This time it had gathered some firmness into its voice.
Violet sniffled.
“It’s not fair.” She mumbled.
What isn’t ?
“All of…this,” Violet swept a listless hand across the broken reactor chamber, and out to the Glow soaked forest beyond. Up through a thin patch in the aurora she thought that she could see a single tiny star. “The animals get to live their lives not knowing that there’s nothing past the Glow. That all of this is just an accident. And how come they aren’t getting sick?”
A bizarre anger arose within her, jealous and frightening in its intensity. If only she were strong enough, Violet would have raised her fists up and crumpled the whole reactor with a single furious blow. Yet the beast remained calm, and so did the cat.
Everything in the forest—animals and plants alike—has lived here for a very long time. Generations and generations.
“Adapting and changing.” Added the cat.
“But it’s hurting me. And everyone at home.” Violet said, a plaintive, horribly helpless note falling into her voice.
I’m sorry.
“Isn’t there anything you can do to fix this?” Violet asked.
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The beast looked to the pool again, newly lost. Its fabric shivered.
No. ---- It admitted at last. ---- I could patch the leaks in this pool, but the damage has already been done..
Violet could only stare.
“Why would you ever build something like this?” She asked.
The beast made a peculiar noise that sounded almost like a strangled laugh.
It means nothing now, but this really was the best way to create energy. To keep the lights on. To keep the troubles away.
…
I’m…so sorry you didn’t find what you were looking for, Violet.
The tears were rising again, a new realization of the bleakness settling in around her. It made even the Glow seem colorless.
And then the cat spoke.
“Your friend doesn’t often make much sense,” it said. “But it’s right. You got here, actual objective be damned.”
Violet blinked.
“You learned how to talk to almost everything, how to fight and defend yourself, how to…how to drink feverfew tea and befriend beasts. And you killed the worst thing in the world. Even worse than this. It’s not like the whole journey was completely worthless, right?”
Violet shuffled in place, caught completely off guard. The cat had put its front paws on her knee and was staring her in the face, so close that its whiskers tickled her chin.
“…Right.” Violet made herself say. The word was barely a whisper, but it carried with it a strange spark of power.
“And besides,” her friend continued, stepping slightly back. “While I do take majority credit in teaching you how to be brave…you might not have left your village, crossed a river and hiked through a monster infested forest if it weren’t for this horrible, useless light we’re sitting next to. You might not be able to wish for a world free of demons now, but…you never needed to.”
“And what about the particles? What about everyone in my village?”
Silence for a moment.
Everyone will need to move…but even though there isn’t. ..
isn’t some magical thing to rescue you, you can rescue yourself
and everyone you love too-. º your world isn’t over yet, Violet.
The cat brushed against her with one cheek, wiry whiskers tickling her arm.
“Might’ve just stolen my words, but….” It flashed the beast a look of faux admonishment. “You have everything you need in order to live your life now. Any way you want. If that means going home to a cottage somewhere and never stepping foot in the forest again, or talking to bees and foxes and fighting demons, and—”
“Cat.” Said Violet quietly, for her friend was beginning to launch into something of an unfocused reverie.
The cat caught itself and cleared its throat with a gentle ahem.
“…The one thing you can’t do is nothing. As nice and glowy as everything is around here, if you drape yourself over the moss and shut your eyes, then….”
“I’ll be eaten by wolves.” Violet finished, and stroked behind the cat’s left ear.
She still felt shaky and hollow, a terrible emptiness opened in her heart, but the panic had receded and she felt steady enough to stand. Again her gaze went to the pool and the whole empty edifice of the Glow. There was no easy way to describe how her feelings lay. Her wonder at the illuminated complexity of the forest remained, as did her sorrow at being unable to stay…and the dread when she thought about home.
It wasn’t even that the Glow was an annihilator, as the influence had been. There was a forest being left in the wake of its light, animals and plants and insects entirely changed and forever altered, a new order rising to compliment the old…as happened everywhere in the world, over and over again.
As dizzyingly bad for her as all of this was, the beast was right. It still wasn’t the end of the world.
And the cat was right too. She had learned many new things, had become braver and stronger and more capable than when she’d set off. And even if the Glow was but an illusion, and even if her life was to be forever different from this point on, it was still a life, and it was ongoing. She could not stay and become a part of the Glow’s change, but she could always do so elsewhere, for the world was vast even beyond the forest.
“I guess this is the part where I go home.” Violet said, and felt a brief wave of surreality at those words.
The journey, at least that part which she’d actively planned for, really was over now.
“Home to your village?” The cat asked.
Violet nodded.
“My mother is probably worried about me. Maud too. And everyone else. I’ll need to tell them what happened. What needs to be done.”
“Will they listen to you?” The cat asked, but it was a simple and honest question, no double meanings contained.
Violet took a deep breath and slowly let it out.
“I think so,” she said. “Because it’ll be me telling them. And I’ll make them listen.”
“You might need some help.”
“You?” Violet asked, surprised. “You’d…do that?”
“You’d need to introduce me,” said the cat. “And make sure nobody’s carrying anything that could be thrown…but yeah, I think I could.”
Violet turned to the beast.
“Then you must be coming too.” She said, caught between nervousness and a growing excitement.
I.. . ---- A hesitation caught the beast. Its fabric shivered.
There are amends I need to make. Even if I cannot fix this, I can still make things better for a while, to buy you some time to move your home. My repairs will fail—everything does eventually—but if I do that I will need to stay here for some time.
Violet began to say something, feeling strangely crestfallen…but she could not argue against the base sentiment of the beast’s words. Even though they would be apart, it would be performing its own mission, trying to hold back some of the damage its old work had done.
“Okay,” she nodded sharply and made herself smile, though uncertainty lingered on her face, and the tears slowly gathering in the corners of her eyes. “My village isn’t very far away. Just downstream, on the first island you see.”
“And if you dally, I’ll come tell you when everyone’s planning to leave,” the cat promised. “Don’t worry, I won’t stay long enough for these particles of yours to perforate me.”
The beast was smiling.
I’ll see you soon. Both of you.
“Yes.” Violet agreed, then hugged the beast as tightly as she could.
“As for our immediate objectives,” said the cat. “We’ll need to build a raft and float downstream. No fancy flying for us.”
“That’s alright.” Violet murmured, not wanting to let the beast go.
Thank you for being my friend, Violet. It said, and Violet reluctantly broke the embrace, her friend floating backwards until it was over the top of the glowing reactor pool. Lit like that, by the full force of a brilliant azure light, the beast seemed full of stars.
Violet smiled, doing her best to hold back tears, then turned and exited the room, passing the blast doors and leaving the heart of the Glow behind.
The rest of the reactor building seemed dim by comparison, the light dull and tawdry. The scarlet streaks dancing across her vision seemed dimmer now.
It was only when they exited through the front door that the cat let out a small breath.
“Are you alright?” It asked.
Violet managed a tiny nod.
“I don’t know what’ll happen to home.”
“Worse comes to worst, you could always come live in the forest,” the cat offered. “You’d be welcome.”
“Were you serious about helping me explain things?” Violet asked, though she already knew the answer.
“Of course. I will need to gauge the overall mood, but if your neighbors prove accommodating, I would not begrudge a brief display of my tremendous demonic powers.” As it spoke the cat flickered from one side of the reactor doorway to the other, fangs flashing in a great big grin.
Violet smiled faintly.
“I hope the beast will be alright.” She said.
The cat seemed less concerned, but still put on a dutifully serious face.
“It’s probably just excited to play scientist again. Once all the beakers and lab coats are used up, it’ll come running.”
“I guess we’ll set camp at the edge of the forest and build the raft tomorrow.” Violet decided. She had no real desire to do yet more night walking. At least not yet.
“Sounds good. How’s your head? Shall I fetch you some willow for tea?”
“I’m feeling okay, actually.” Violet said, and couldn’t help but feel surprised by this. After everything that had happened, it seemed nearly impossible. “It’s like…the world is very different now, and so am I…but that’s okay.”
“Very Zen.” The cat remarked.
Violet didn’t know what that meant but decided to accept it anyway. Together, her and the cat stepped into the azure mist and took their first steps back towards home.
The End