Chapter 20
A Little Bit of Magic
Life is simple.
In a modern civilization, we are always striving for the best in life. Among our peers, rivals, or even enemies, we always try to be superior in at least one thing, and make it out to be something that defines us. However, take away all that ego and privilege, then what’s left is simple, really; eat, sleep, and grow.
That is to say, eating this delish wonder means that I’m having the time of my life right now. This slab of roast, served with a savoury sauce, crunchy yet tender on the inside that I can chew without worrying about my jaw. And then complementing the main dish; a thick and rich broth, drenched in it some kind of bran and meaty veggies. I don’t even care what they are. As soon as they go into my mouth, each chew would take me to different tastes of bliss.
Say that I’m pitiful or whatever, but for me, this is what a good life is—to have a meal without starving to death beforehand, or to be able to sleep in a bed whenever you want, without having to worry that a lifer might be around the corner.
Yes, I feel like I’m having it pretty good right now, and for that reason, I feel... guilty. Here I am, enjoying what I have and taking it for granted, meanwhile, those three are still down there...
To tell the truth, I’m scared. What if, by the time I got them out, it’s already too late?
They can’t even use magic like I could, so would they fare against lifers? It should be fine as long as they stay and work together, but... would they? Without me there, would Yammu lose her sight again? Would Hadda and Eretz try to kill each other? If I’m not there to keep them together, then...
“Miss Fay... are you listening...?”
Huh? Ah, yes...
“Geez, you and Aira both are so out of it, these days! What’s up with you two...?”
I look at Aira, her expression so still as if she didn’t even hear what Kaelyn just said.
Hah... I guess there’s no point in worrying about that now, when I’m already in a mess myself. In the first place, what am I even worrying about? Those three were the ones who helped me, so who I am to be so arrogant as to doubt their survival?
That’s right, I have problems of my own...
“Ai? You’re done already?”
Kaelyn asked as Aira stands up from her seat. On her plate, the food is practically left untouched.
“What’s the matter? You don’t like the food?”
“S‒Sorry... I’m not feeling well...”
the luphaen answered, turning to leave the dining hall. I watch her as she listlessly goes, clumping away with clumsy steps. Her wolf-like ears are drooped down as well as her tail, her legs wobbly as if she could collapse at any moment.
“What’s with her...? Ah, maybe I should ask miss Farica to check on her? But she always seemed so busy, so I wonder if it would be a bother? What do you think miss Fay... Eh? Are you done too?”
Taking Aira’s slab of meat in my mouth, I stand up and look at the blonde-haired man, sitting a couple rows away. I pace towards the exit as I gobble down the meat along the way. Luise seems to be preoccupied with all that people around him, so he shouldn’t notice me going out the hall.
......
...Ah. He saw me. Well, time to go...
Gulping down what’s left, I rush out towards the exit, marching with large strides as fast as I can to avoid the wolf.
“Miss Whitey,”
a charming, courteous voice greeted me as a flower suddenly appeared in front of me, its clement fragrance promptly reaching my nose. From the translucent threads and five scalloped petals down to its stem, the flower is painted in a stunning white. It was probably beautiful once, when its crown is not all torn and muddy.
I look at the blue eyes of the person holding the flower, amazed by how fast he caught up to me.
“I found this Rosellion on my way back. So delicate and beautiful, yet sturdy on the stem. It made me think of you,”
Luise said, a coaxing smile on his hunky face.
“Err... the journey back was harsher than I thought. It used to be pretty, but it’s all mangled and ugly now. I apologize, of course I can’t give this to you.”
“Hey, stop! You’re not allowed near her!”
Kaelyn shouted, running between us and pushing him away from me, her hands spread as if to block him.
“Kaelyn? No, I just wanted to talk to her...”
“No way! She’s injured, and she needs rest!”
“Injured?! But, who would...”
“Now, now...”
a growlish voice suddenly came behind him as a large furry hand appears on his shoulder.
“The lass is right. The little magus passed out this morning and only woke up recently. You should let her go to rest for now.”
So chief said, but I can see the cold sweat between the creases of his eyebrows.
Anyway, I should go now while I can.
--- --- ---
I make my way up to the third floor, skipping up the steps and tripping a couple of times in my haste. Upon reaching my destination, I sigh in relief seeing Aira just as she enters her room, locking the door behind her. I’d feared that Ichard might summon her again, but it seems that he’s actually sensible enough to care about the health of his luphaen “friends”.
She should rest while she can, so I probably shouldn’t bother her since there’s nothing I could say to help her, anyway. Now then, I should probably lock my own door so that Luise doesn’t find me, but... Aira is still...
I’d thought that she seemed rather composed despite her circumstance, but I’m not really sure now. Her eyes seemed so lifeless, and the fact that she’s keeping quiet makes it all worse. Is she really okay?
.......
After going into my room, I decide to leave a small gap on my door so that I can hear the sounds coming from the hallway. That way, I’d know if Aira left the room.
..........
.....I shouldn’t sleep if I want to keep watch, but.... shite, this bed is so... soft and.... plush...
Argh... I can’t lie still. Stay awake, you. Looking at her state, Aira might just do something reckless. I can’t sleep now.
.......
Ah, maybe I should try playing with Nexy.
< “Playing” is not recognized as an internal or external command, operable program or batch file. Please restate your request. >
No, no, I don’t mean that....
Thalvos said that I could use Nexy to read somehow, but how?
Hmm.... you know anything about this?
< Missing syntax; please specify a request. >
Oh, geez... why are you still so reserved with me?
Ah, come to think of it, there’s something else I was able to read aside from Nexy’s little windows. Hmm... where did I put it? Oh, there it is.
⌠n□□□Δ□⌡ ┤Vim Rate├
▐ │7│ │59%│
Σ⌠Δ□∞⌡ ┤Pull Rate├
▐ │81│/
Name
▐ □τη□ρ□, ΝΞΙΔ IndolantFay, │Fay│
Species
▐ Γ□ Human
Gender
▐ Female
Age
▐ 17 months old
Titles
▐ □ρβ□τ□ρ
□νδ□λ□ντ Φ□ψ
Ωη□τ□ ς□λκ□ρ□□
Γ□ϖ□ρ □φ Ω□σδ□μ
Μ□ρτ□ρ□δ Γ□δδ□σ
Master of Sins
Indelible Survivor
Champion of the Dark God
She Who Deals With Demons
Mana Affinity
▐ High –
Mana Pool
▐ 81
Right, I can read the status card like I read Nexy, but why? How does it work?
I wonder...?
Nexy, if you could please...
< Request confirmed. Analyzing... >
[ Name, |□τη□ρ□|, ERROR: Access restricted. ]
...Huh?
Wait, what?
That’s new. Let’s try again!
Nexy, if you would...
< Analyzing... >
Appellation, |Γ□ϖ□ρ □φ Ω□σδ□μ|, ERROR: Access restricted.
Appellation |Μ□ρτ□ρ□δ Γ□δδ□σ|, ERROR: Access restricted.
Appellation, |Master of Sins|: A transcendent title granted to those who’ve mastered their own darkness. It is the conflux of seven; Master of Lies, Master of Blood, Master of Discord, Master of Malice, Master of Desires, Master of Hunger, Master of Pleasures.
Appellation, |Indelible Survivor|: Irritatingly persistent, eluding death when it is your fate. Even he who governs the underrealm cannot erase you.
Appellation |Champion of the Dark God|: You asked for it.
Appellation, |She Who Deals With Demons|: “Make a deal with the demon”, a most heinous and profane taboo of the Church of Athyra. You have a demon’s mark imprinted somewhere on your body, making you a target for the Church.
H‒Hey, now... I thought you could only identify living creatures, Nexy.
< False; the Nexus Identification System is applicable to all objects stored within the local Subnex database. >
Objects? Does that mean I can identify inanimate things as well?
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Identify.
< Identifying... >
|Trifold Candlestick|: A candlestick capable of holding up to three candles.
...Well, now.
Let’s experiment on this.
--- --- ---
Time passed as the ticking of the longcase clock in the hallway fills the silence. I tried a number of things with Nexy, and it surprised me how much I didn’t know. I’ll elaborate on that at another time, because rigt now I’m... too sleepy...
Ah... maybe I should just sleep‒
*click*
...Oh. This sound...
The sound of the lock opening is followed by a door swinging open, and then the nimble footsteps of a person. My guess is right, I suppose...?
I go out my own room and follow her, following her as she makes her way through the dark corridors. I stay in the shadows, far enough from her lupine senses, but close enough so that I can stop her if she decides to do anything dangerous.
Where are you going, Aira...?
Eh... she’s going up to the fourth floor? No, further up... the rooftops? What is she intending to do? Considering her mental state, could it be...
I follow her out, and as soon as I open the door to the rooftops, the night breeze hits me like a gale. Ugh... the northern wind is so cold... I should’ve brought something to keep me warm. Even at daytime, people rarely go up here, so it’s no wonder that it’s empty right now. Now then, where is she?
Aira‒
I halt my steps as soon as I saw her. It’s like something struck me when I saw her figure, standing there with her eyes closed, basking in the dim moonlight. Her hands are joined together in front of her chest, as if praying to the distant moon.
Then, with her eyes still closed, she treads forward, her steps so light as though she’s walking on air.
Slowly, she raises her arms on her sides before joining it back together in front of her, her movement so gentle like she’s swinging feathers instead of her own limbs. She repeats this a few times, and each time she does that, I feel something changing with the air around her.
This is... mana? Is she doing this...?
Aira continues on, stepping with her tiptoes to and fro, her arms twirling along with her. Like a stream of gold, her hair whirls following her steps as she moves from one turn to another. Behind her, her tail sways along enticingly, inviting me to join her.
At this moment, she is the centre of the world. I can feel the very air around her tagging along as she lost herself in her own world, following a melody I can’t hear.
What is this....? Every twist, every turn... I feel like I’m suffocating just watching her, but I can’t turn my eyes away.
As I freeze in place, a whirlpool of emotions attacks me relentlessly. Seeing her like this, it’s as though she is crying. There’s no tears, but it feels like she’s in pain, pouring out all her ineffable suffering and sending it away. Through the silent dance, she screamed and screamed, defiantly protesting at the gods for the terrible fate they had given her.
Stop it...
I can’t describe it.
Every step of her dance is arresting, pulling me into an image that’s blurring into the view before me. An image that I don’t want to see.
Stop it!
--- --- ---
It... disappeared?
The chaos, the screaming, it disappeared all of a sudden. It happened so abruptly, as if her dance and what it brought with it was just an ephemeral dream.
“...Miss Fay...?”
Oh, um...
.
She takes her time composing herself, looking at her own shoulders to hide her own face before finally looking at me.
“You saw...?”
*nods*
Back to her usual self, she drowsily walks to the wall-fence at the edge and leans her back on it, letting her body drop down to the ground. I approach her and sit down next to her, hugging my knees to lessen the cold. She stays quiet for some time, staring at something I can’t see while rubbing her own fingers nervously. Her body shivers in the cold, her lupine ears tucking under the wind as her tail wraps around to give herself more warmth.
“...The spirit dance, do you know it...?”
Eh?
“It’s a dance used in Hrakian blessing rituals. That dance you saw in particular is an expression of acceptance, but even so, I....”
Her words turned into a soft whisper, so small that I can’t hear it before she switches the topic altogether,
“uhm... m‒more importantly, we should go back to sleep. It’s not good for our bodies if we spend too much time up... here—.......You... you know about him, don’t you...”
... *nods*
Tears well in her eye as her body slumps back against the wall, sighing in a manner that I can’t tell whether it was relief or of distress.
“Of course you do...”
She looks up at the starry sky, her teeth clenching as she forces the tears from falling.
“My family... we were survivors of the Hrakian genocide. We travelled from border to border, living off everything we could, and everywhere we go, they called us heretics. We were... trying to get out of the empire when we‒”
her voice breaks just then, overwhelmed by her emotions. She takes in deep breaths, forcing herself to calm down before continuing,
“...’We must forgive’, that’s what my mom used to say. ‘We must forgive and endure. Even when the whole worlds hates us for what we are, we must persevere. And then, maybe someday, they’ll learn to accept us as we have accepted them’. That’s what I’ll do, Fay. I will endure.”
She looks at me, her wet eyes betraying her unyielding expression.
“You told me that there’s no such thing as selfless kindness, but you were wrong. There are people in this world capable of it, people like you. You are kind, and I know you’ll try to help me, so, please... don’t.”
...Eh?
“I‒I know I’m weak, I know I’m not like you, but if I keep depending on other people, I will stay weak forever. So, um... please just leave me be.”
That’s what she said, but she’s been holding my arm tightly for some time, now, as if she’s afraid I’d leave her if she let go.
“I’m sorry... I promise I’ll change, but for now... can you stay with me for a while?”
*nods*
At my answer, she lets out a weak smile.
“Thank you...”
--- --- ---
We stayed up there for who knows how long, sitting side by side in the silent cold. When Aira nodded off, we decided that it’s time to turn in for the night, to rest in preparation for whatever the morrow holds for us. We went back to our own rooms after that.
Here I am, lying on my bed, still unable to sleep. Her words weigh on my mind for some reason. If what she said were her true feelings, that naivety would drag her down someday. How foolish.
Even if she hadn’t asked me to lay off, I still wouldn’t help her. I barely know her, and she has nothing to offer me, so... why did I do all those things? Why did I chase that woman? What is it I wanted to do when I rushed out for her this morning?
The chief was right. At that time, I merely acted on impulse. When I saw what I saw, I just felt... angry. Even now, there’s this uncomfortable feeling in my chest, like an abundance of energy sqeezed in tight, ready to burst with a mere spark.
Aira was wrong about me. I am not kind. After everything I went through, I’m anything but kind. If she knew the things I did to survive, she wouldn’t have thought that way.
If I ever had a heart, it’s already broken a long time ago.
(It used to be pretty, but it’s all mangled and ugly now. I apologize, of course I can’t give this to you...)
I chuckle to myself.
Him too, if he knew what I really am, he wouldn’t have wanted me. After all, no one wants a broken flower.
I won’t help Aira. I have myself to worry about, with the Church and all. Heck, I might have demons on me soon enough. She even asked me to leave her alone, and it was never my business, anyway.
...................
(The weak are always used and abused, and the rulers had no care for any glint of morals...)
Yes, I know... I mean, that’s just how the world is, right? What do you expect me to do? I can’t just...
(No shame at all, the lot of them, people and gods alike, turning a blind eye and went about their own business...)
Shut up, Hadda! I‒I know, I’m... I’m not like you. I don’t have any reason to help her.
(Everyone dies at the end, some with more regrets than others...)
I... I’m...
(Which would you be?)
--- --- ---
.......
...I understand.
In the end, we’re all living for ourselves.
That is why, I’m doing this for myself.
I hop off my bed, head towards the staircase and then down to the second floor, noting a clock I pass by to see that it’s already past midnight. The offices are dark and empty besides a few, and there’s only a handful of lamps and candles that are lit. At day, this place is so busy and hectic, but now, there’s only me here in the darkness.
If I can’t find him now, then I’ll do it tomorrow. If possible, though, I’d like to do this as soon as I can, before Ichard subjects Aira to his desires again. Even so, where can I find him?
--- --- ---
After some time searching, I notice a light coming from under the door near the main offices. There’s a plate on the side of the door with words written on it.
......
Nexy...
< Translating... >
“Chief Constable’s Office”
“Who’s there?”
The voice came from beyond the door. As expected of him, still so sharp even this late at night.
I open the door and see Orlev’s tired face, a quill in his hand as it hovers over a piece of parchment on his desk.
“It’s you.”
Hello.
“Something you need, magus? Ah, pardon me. It’s Fay, isn’t it?”
Promptly, I walk to his desk and snatch the quill in his hand.
“Hey, what...”
On the parchment he was working on, I start to write, overwriting whatever he just wrote.
“No, wait... that’s the report for the...”
Here you go.
Orlev exhaled in a frustrated manner, hitting his own face with his palm.
“I worked on that for the last three hours,”
he complained, but takes the parchment back and reads it anyway.
“... ‘I see regarding carp?’ What are you...”
Argh, darn it. I guess a few practices wouldn’t be enough, huh. Let’s try again.
--- --- ---
“ ‘I know about Ichard’, is that what you mean?”
*nods*
Orlev heaves out, the lines between his brows multiplying as he leans back against his chair.
“Somehow, I knew you were going to find out... this darkness of our guild. But then, what are you going to do about it?”
The look in his eyes, they’re different from the chief’s, who’d already taken things as it is and accepted them as part of reality. Instead, the commander is looking at me expectantly, as if interested to know what I have in mind. Am I right in thinking that he’s conflicted with Ichard’s leadership?
“Just so you know, Ichard is vital for the livelihood of Tarnlake. Without his influence, the Movals would’ve attacked Lephander a long time ago. It’s also in his power that avlarks and luphaens are able to live normally in this city.”
I know all that.
“...Your eyes tell me that you already know this, and yet...? I’m curious, do you have something planned?”
Alright, then. To start with...
Everything is as I suspected. Even if the people close to Ichard are discontent with how he plays with his subjects, there’s nothing they can do about it because certain things get in the way. Without Ichard to keep the trust of the people here and protect the current peace with his politics, every “inhuman” in the country might be subject to prosecution, or even the entire kingdom itself. That’s why no one’s ever did anything against him. However, I already have a resolution of my own.
I’m not a kind person. I also don’t have any idyllic justice of good and bad because I know they don’t exist. Just like the case with Ichard, virtue and wickedness are often two sides of the same coin. “For the greater good,” and that’s why no one’s ever done anything; not Orlev, not Aldwan, and certainly not the luphaens that cowered under him.
Even so, I don’t care. I don’t have that kind of value. Even if there’s repercussions to come from this, I’ll still do it. I’m not doing this for Aira, nor am I doing this because what he’s doing is “wrong”. I’m doing this for myself, and that’s why what stopped everyone else won’t stop me.
With that kind of ideal in mind, I take a new blank parchment and start writing on it the details of the plan I have for tomorrow.
--- --- ---
When I realized it, dawn had come. I’d spent so much time trying to get this plan of mine across to the commander, but without the proper writing skills, it was harder than I thought. Thankfully, he was quick to catch on, though my thought transference might’ve helped with that. All that’s left is for him to agree with this, and then we’ll—
“I can’t let you do this,”
he said as he rests his chin on his hands, eyeing me with a dangerous glint in his eyes.
Eh?
“I don’t even know your competence as a magus, and someone could get killed. I’ve heard Sallis recommended you as an arcanist, but how can you guarantee that you won’t lose control?”
Well, that’s...
“And even if you succeed, what then? In the first place, there’s no guarantee that everything won’t fall apart after that. A dozen luphaens are just not on the scale with the thousands living in this country.”
That’s where you come in.
“Don’t smile at me. This isn’t a game. At any rate, I can’t betray my own guild. Ichard might have his dark side, but what he did for the people was well beyond that.”
“Tch.”
I shouldn’t have known it would be that easy. Now, what would convince him to help me...?
I write the next word, hoping it would persuade him.
‘Debt.’
“...I was afraid you’d bring that up. Get me, I’m very thankful for what you did for us back in the Dread, but what you’re asking of me now is mutiny. I can’t possibly betray my own values.”
Ah, I see... so in the end, it’s his own justice that hinders him from taking action. I’d thought I could use those very values to convince him, or at least appeal to his personal ambitions if he had any. Seems like I was wrong again.
‘Will do myself’
“ ‘Will do my...’ you mean you’re going to do it anyway?”
I stand up from the chair and turn to leave the room. Just as I open the door, Orlev halts me,
“wait, why did you think I was going to help you? What would you do if I try to stop you instead?”
I smile at him in reply, answering the threatening glint in his eyes with my own.
You can try.
I leave the room, not bothering to see his reaction. I don’t really need him to agree, anyway. I’ll just have to force his hands.
--- --- ---
At my back, the sun rises ever so slowly as it paints the sky blue. Even up here, I can still hear the bustling down on the roads. All the people living their lives peacefully, ignorant of the few that suffered for it. I take a whiff of the morning breeze, feeling the air with my every sense, telling myself that I’m alive, here at this moment.
Ever since I first woke up in this world, I always felt like I’m out of place, like I’m not really here somehow. So far, all I’ve been doing is mirroring what kindness was shown to me to the people around me. Without knowing what to do, I was only replaying a broken record, but... it won’t be like that anymore.
From now on, I’ll pave my own road. I’ll do whatever I will and whatever I can, be it become an arcanist or finding the true king. I won’t let anything stop me, not until my debt is paid. Perhaps... that is one reason I’m doing this; to do for Aira what they did for me, to give some sense of satisfaction that I’ve paid my due somehow.
They gave me strength through what they taught me. They gave me power, yet I’ve held myself back out of fear that I can’t control it. But in the end, what’s there to be afraid of?
(We are weak because of what we don’t know.)
You’re right, Hadda... the difference of the mana between here and there was what made me afraid. Up here on the surface, the mana is more... receptive, in a word. No... it’s not just mana. Whenever I reach out at the aether, it felt like everything was pulsing with it; the air around me, the earth below my feet, even my very body.
In the end, it’s just a matter of knowledge. Once I get to know how the elements work here, I can use them. I’ve gotten a grasp on air magic, somewhat, so I’ll use that. Anything else would be too careless.
Now then, with that sorted out, it’s time for action.
--- --- ---
I braved myself one last time, emptying my mind and letting my long forgotten instincts take over. Up to this point, I felt like my body was underwater, but now I’ve come out of the water and onto the surface. I can feel my own heart thumping, vibrating my whole body.
Here we go.
With a prayer to a nonexistent god, I jumped off the roof.
Just as I do so, I create layers upon layers of dense air to cushion my fall in stages.
First layer. My muscles wail at the shock, my whole body trembling at the mere pressure.
Second layer. I see my reflection whizz past the third floor window. My target is right below.
Final layer. I make the cushion densest, stopping my momentum momentarily. Within that instant, I create a shield of whirling air in front of me, just before I blast myself into the window.
The glass breaks, shattering the pieces all over the room. The man, whose back was just at the window, is blown away over his desk, landing ungracefully on top of his fancy rug.
“Agh... wha... You?! What is‒ “
Not giving him the chance to complete the sentence, I blow him away again. The door breaks on its hinges upon receiving his body as he flies out into the hallway. I watch him slide across the floor, until a whimper catches my ears.
I look back at the room and there, cowering in a corner, I see a young luphaen woman watching me with terrified eyes.
Get out.
She understood quickly, dashing out the door without ever looking back. I turn my attention back to the sprawled man, coughing away while trying to regain his bearings.
“What... in the bloodyfuck do you think you’re doing?!”
What I do best...
I gather up another ball of compressed air on my palm, smiling mischievously at my opponent as I did so.
Giving you the little bit of magic that you need.
Following the rumbling of footsteps, numerous drifters appear around the corner with their weapons ready.
“It’s the commissioner! He’s under attack!”
“Who’s the attacker?!”
“It... It’s the little magus...!”
“What?!”
“It doesn’t matter who, protect the commissioner!”
Huh... that’s quick. It’s as if they were just standing by nearby when I attacked.
Oh, well... no matter. Here’s where the fun begins.