“Ahh…ahhh…” Too much too much too much too much. I feel my breathing becoming irregular and hard to track as I stare at my reflection in the toilet water. Disgusting disgusting failure disgusting failure! Look what you’ve done! Why are you even alive?! Why didn’t you message him? Why weren’t you there to protect him?! Fuck! GOD FUCKING DAMNIT YOU WORTHLESS FAILURE, THAT’S ALL YOU ARE AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN! I almost slam my hands on the sides of the toilet, but not owning the thing is the only thing that keeps me from doing so. I heave quietly, close to losing my mind.
“Worthless…failure…hic…” I grit my teeth, unable to bring myself to properly vomit. Add that to the list of shit I can’t do right. Ahh, I can’t take this. This shouldn’t have happened. No, there’s flat out no reality where this should even be possible. So why…why did this happen?! God damnit, why?! I hold my shaking head, feeling like my head is on the verge of exploding. The pain emanating through my breaking mind almost convinced me to start smashing my head in. “Urkk…gack!” I spit up what bit of bile I can manage to get up, utterly disappointed in the meaningless amount.
“Chris?” I hear Maria on the other side of the door. Her worry is palpable enough to feel it even through the wood of the door. I stare almost emptily at the wooden portal before placing a hand on it. I try to say something back to her, but my throat closes up. Nothing feels like coming out. The only thing I can do is make the sound of a choked sob. No part of me wants to remain here. Please, just let me disappear. That’s all I deserve. I’m sorry dad, I should have just died right where I was. They shouldn’t have bothered bringing me back. At least if I’d died, I wouldn’t have to accept its cause I was a coward to start with.
“Take it back.” I choked out, my hands on the door. “Take my life away from me again. I don’t deserve it. I’m a…wasted effort.” I reasoned from my side of the door, while on the other side, I could feel the conflict she was going through. Surely she understands I’m right. It just makes sense, right? The only thing that must be getting in her way is a guilty conscience. “I don’t deserve to still be here. The people who do are long gone. So, please, kill me. Permanently.” I begged gently. I waited, and waited, but nothing awful came my way. After another moment, I hear some…tears. Not any hardcore crying, but definitely there.
“No. I won’t.” Maria promised from the other side of the door. “I couldn’t even if I wanted to. Your soul is already tainted by the Demon Revitalization Process. It’s…not reversible, unless you want to die again, which…please. Please don't.” Maria asked of me. “I saved you because you deserve it. I know you don’t believe that, but I want you to at least believe that I do.” There’s a moment of silence. O wanna interrupt it but she’s first to. “Do you remember when you saved me?” Her voice was soft. “I wasn’t ready to take that thing on. I was more prepared than you snd still had no clue half of the things it could do. So many times, it would have been so much easier, so much more understandable, for you to run. You didn’t. Why, Chris?”
“...w-why?” I mumble that word. I know exactly why. I can see his face, right now, staring back at me so warmly. “...because I didn’t have any other choice at all.” I admit. My hand curls up into a trembling fist. “H-he’s dead. I couldn’t save…him.” I whisper. “Someone who was really nice to me. Who treated me better than anyone else in this world, and I…couldn’t save him.” I felt tears starting to well up in my eyes. “Harley…I’m sorry…” I get out as my tears start to become overwhelming. I really am still nothing more than a failure, and even if I stay alive, what do I really have w-
Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.
“Well, I’m no Harley, who…ever that is. But, if you think for a second that I won’t treat you just as warmly here…you’re just stupid.” I stepped back as I watched the doorknob turn and the bathroom door open. Standing there, with a gentle and warm smile, she looks straight into me. “Maybe…if you can find it in you to stick around…we can start to feel like family.” Fami…ly. I feel the word beating around hard in my head. Like family…I don’t…really deserve something like that, but…I smile anyways. Nodding my head, I move forward, and feel her wrap me up in an embrace. “You’re one of us, Chris. Don’t face this world alone or make such a lonely choice when that's the case.” She’s really warm. Family. Not alone. It all sounds like some novel. Still, I don’t have the heart to say a single thing.
…
“So, officially gonna be one of us, huh?” After the events of a few hours ago, I found myself in a small little makeshift classroom. In said classroom, the seat next to me was immediately taken up by the rather unreadable woman with white hair. Her tight black one-piece did the job of covering her breasts while revealing plenty of cleavage, and the purple cloak and tight jean shorts did their best to help her standout even more. She was, admittedly, quite the sexy unknown. Still, the fact I felt I could never tell when or when she was not scheming put me on edge. Thus, I do my best to answer minimally. “Aww, no fun. Give me some words to play with please, ehehe~.”
“I have the feeling words are the last thing I should trust you with.” I mutter, earning me exactly what I would have preferred to be without. She continues on and on with her teasing and prodding until someone I have yet to meet comes walking in. Dressed in white khakis and a white button up dress shirt, I’m immediately terrified by the sharp look in this woman’s eyes. She arrives at the front of the room, in front of a rather cheap looking projector and screen. She checks the laptop connected to the projector, grumbles about technology, and starts fiddling with cables until she seems to be satisfied.
“Alright. As you all are aware, new face or not, things have escalated. We can safely say that, in our week of recovery and research, the entirety of the United States has been overtaken by the angels. Most of humanity within this area can be assumed to have been wiped out.” The woman debriefs quickly as I struggle to keep up with so much awful news. “However, now that we have our full team back on its feet, along with knowledge on how the angels work, or at least, how to get a clean kill in, we can begin to fight back. While the souls already taken can not yet be retrieved, we can make sure no more are to be taken. Especially since it would seem that expansion and travel from the United States has yet to occur for these things. Whatever is keeping them, it's the reason for us having a chance.” The looks of varying emotions spreading across everyone’s faces is a mix of terrifying and inspiring.
“So, with that said, I’d like to announce the beginning of our new operation.” The woman hits a button on the projector and, after a few moments, a light shines onto the screen.
The words OPERATION VALHALLA’S GATE are displayed proudly.