Chapter 55: Ghostly Mirror

“Dear… Kaliber. Is that how ya spell it?”

Vega, continuing on the lonesome road ahead of her, took to preparing. Preparing both a letter and a sort of speech card, not sure how to compose her thoughts but knowing that she needed to. Too often people blurt out their passionate guts on the floor instead of composing them in an organized manner.

This part of the Gambler district was far less populated, as most people either had little work in these early morning hours, or had been sleeping away last night's wins and losses. Aside than a few stone lizard thugs chatting in a restaurant, and the a man sleeping in an alley, there was little noise.

Like a field only populated by wind, only the lapping of garden leaves nearby added a sense of ambience, which helped Vega keep focused. She didn’t want to explode again, especially with someone like Kaliber.

Not that emotion shouldn’t be spontaneous, but that Vega understood that if she failed to keep control, it would yield to new things that she wouldn’t understand.

Plus, she didn’t want another pitchfork appearing out of nowhere again.

“Alright… now what do I write-write…”

“Write-write?” Kaliba flew onto of her hat, squatting down and resting.

“Oh hey Kaliba! Do ya any idea of what I should say when I meet her?”

“Food-food.”

“Hmmm.” Vega considered the angle. Afterall, she had limited senses but was rapidly approaching new ones. Disgust, anger, even having to blink!

“Oh yeah, I keep forgetting to do that.” Vega blinked a hundred million times there. While blinking, she wondered how she came to be.

How was she created?

Why was she so far from Kaliber?

And why does the Voice keep plaguing her so?

“There’s a lot of questions I want to ask her. But is that really enough?” Vega held her head down to her paper, as the sun disappeared from the section of the district she was heading in. Bathed in an azure shade, the breeze of the wind died down and all that could be heard were her own footsteps. The apartments became tall and sloping, as they loomed over her like waves in the sea.

“I wonder…wonder… wonderwander.” The scarecrow decided that this line of questioning would be suitable enough. And with a cleared conscience, like wiping away mental cobwebs, Vega set out to write what she wished to ask.

“Dear Ms. Kaliber lady,

I don’t think I have met you before, but my name is Vega. Vega the Scarecrow.

For some strange reason, I exist. Well, I exist without knowing where I come from. I know I was made, but not from who or where. Did you… make me?

Not in that weird person way where they hug each other for a long time, but… like… did you intend to create me?

For another weird thing, I’ve found myself writing these letters in Tripolian. They’re about you and this girl named Ena. She seems smart and nice, I hope I can be friends with her one day. You both seem like nice people, which is kinda of a rare thing nowadays.

I don’t want you to be scared when you get this, because plenty of people are scared or weirded out by me. I’m… an odd girl, but I that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. I know there is a reason why I know you and why I feel pulled towards you.

I may be gullible, or outright inconsiderate or plain stupid, but I’m a good person and I like myself. Not love, cause I don’t know how to quite love myself yet, but I like me. I really do like me, and I think you’d like me too.

This is not some feigned effort, some way to steal from you information or gold. I’ve never been that type of lady, I’ve alway tried to do good, in my own bizarre way that I can. And I’m sure that you’ll find that what you see is what you get with me. I don’t want to hurt or betray, I just want a person that will stay and explain. Explain why all these weird and… emotional things are happening.

Why do I cry?

What does food taste like?

Why am I able to see?

How does sunlight feel?

What is pain?

How can I do better?

How can I make sure my friends won’t leave me?

How can I be a better… me?

Sorry, I sort of rambled there. But, I hope that shows that I really want to do good by you. Because, as one of friends said, if your anything like me, you’ll be a super awesome good person.

From a really big fan,

Vega the Scarecrow.”

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Oh… oh no… I’m… I’m so sorry Vega…

What was I saying? Oh yes, Vega finished the letter with only minor bumps on the page and the road. In fact, she hadn’t even noticed how well she had written. Well, compared to her previous attempts.

“Ya think this will work Kaliba?”

I, personally, am not so sure.

“Oh it’s this fucker again.” Vega shook her head and stuffed her letter back into her jacket. She felt a little glad at the circumstances, at least none of her friends were there so that she’d get embarrassed and humiliated in front of them. Finally, it was one on one. She wouldn’t let the Voice hurt her so easy this time.

Ouch! You know I have feelings, right? Haha!

“I can tell-tell. What is it this time, want to make me doubt my friends? Make me think that Kaliber isn’t going to help me? Well, I’ve heard it all before.” Vega speed up her walk, shouting to the street walls around her.

Ah, you are sour today, huh? By the way, nice job getting on the roof. My Assassin was laughing at it the entire time.

“...what? I mean-I don’t care. Let her watch.” Vega proceeded to flip off behind her.

That will show her!

“Why are ya doing this anyway? I know-know I fought that bad guy back on the island, but I think ya should be more concerned with him rather than me.”

Vega, after she had finished, was rewarded with the Voice’s silence. One that she relished. Doing a quick fist bump and a high five to Kaliba, Vega went on to think of happier things.

The roofs of the district building extended further, with some touching together. Cracks in the street and the walls grew, along with the lack of sunlight. As the sun was less visible in the area, plantlife was replaced with water works of communal fountains and pipeworks. Gangsters camped beside the fountains, most playing games with others charging customers with that particular fountain. In a few minutes, the streets became a tad more populated as many workers went to operate the systems of pipes.

These same workers wore heavy pads around the knees and elbows, with red copper masks on their faces. They had an unfortunate lot in their life, which Vega understood but didn’t know why.

Traveling beside a more industrial street, bursts of hot steam were common. The very pipes being powered by prayer papers glued on, which Vega recognized had similar symbols as the ones back in the mermaid sanctuary, particularly ones relating to Nymph Yukos.

“Huh. Wonder how she’s doing. If there’s one thing that I could do Kaliba, I’d want to get new-new hair like hers. Or Florato, Skaldi’s, or Sorbet’s, but definitely like Yukos’.”

“Amber.”

“Yes, ya did get an amber crown.” Vega stopped and decided to admire the workers. Leaning against a dilapidated wall, she sat down on the fragments of old brick, staring at them.

The more that she looked, the more she felt identified with them. Beneath the slits in their masks, scars and wrinkles could be seen, and the shaggy hair was tied behind with simple string. From atop a watchtower, a feathered cap wearing boss shouted down at them to work harder. She could hardly see the man, but she could hear the unpleasant nature of his words and his voice.

And yet those same workers pushed on, in spite of that venom. Vega did not know to feel pride or to feel pity. Should you feel proud when you merely survive? Should you feel sad for something you had no choice in who you were?

She did not know. She hoped that Kaliber would answer.

Don’t waste your time on these fools. They’re simple tools of the state, nothing more, nothing less.

“And you’re just background noise. Let’s keep going.” She rose up slowly and kept her eyes on them before turning back to the road.

How to put this… You see, your friends mistake you for a sentient thing, a thing that’s got a choice. That’s their problem. They see you as too much of a person… not the ‘helper’ that you want to be. What you need to be.

“That’s a good thing. I like being know-know as a person.” Vega moved faster, as if trying to move past the Voice.

Ah, now compare that… to my Assassin. You don’t even know her name, and you still fear her presence.

Vega tripped for a moment, bumping into a lady who looked at her in mild annoyance.

“Sorry-sorry.” She bowed swiftly before returning to her normal pace. The Assassin… the scarecrow couldn’t deny that she was different. Not like Runtaii who look at her in amazement, not like Sabere who was prone to anger. Not even the Voice, this intimate and constant poison in her mind, was the same as the Assassin.

The Assassin knew her, not only in mannerism and speech, but in that mimicry, of being foul copy. How she melted and shifted into her form was something beautiful, and yet distant.

How she too spoke of the moon, all of it stuck with her.

See? You are too… gullible? No… foolish? Closer. I got it! Too sensitive. You and your friends care too much about yourselves and each other.

“Too sensitive?.” Vega argued back, taking a turn into a lonely alley. “Being sensitive is what got me friends. They are with me. They care about me.”

Oh, don’t think a bunch of pretty words means that they’ll stick around… you are still scared that they’ll leave.

“I’m not…”

Then why were you so sad yesterday night?

“Shut up… I’m still learning how to be proud of myself. To live for myself,”

You’re doing a poor job at that. You had to have your own friends to stick up for you. If it was just you alone, you would have folded against that Oligarch. You can’t plan on your friends staying, and you know it.

“And what does your Assassin have? I’ve stood up to everyone I’ve faced. This Assassin is nothing. Look at what me-me and my friends have gotten done!” Vega was pushing her bravado, trying to quell that doubt in her.

Yes. You’ve gotten into a city that’s about to be invaded, while your team is starting to crumble.

“Ya must have some really selective thoughts, huh? I saved countless people and have been rewarded for it. I have gold, friends, and even a girlfriend!”

Ah, but you don’t have one thing. That particular thing you’ve been searching for this entire journey.

“Hah! What’s that?”

Purpose.

The scarecrow’s laughter stopped, as her soul felt a great cold take hold.

Always listening to others. Always being dragged around by the nearest crybaby. Always trying to be a helper. Always trying to find the next friend.

Hoping that in that bottomless pit that you call your dreams, that the next job, the next person, the next smiling face will finally be enough for you.

The scarecrow stifled, a tear came to her eye.

That despite your odd circumstances, that somehow, you’ll be able to get through ‘your own way’.

Hoping that you’ll find out what it means to exist.

Hoping that you’ll be enough.

Hoping that Kaliber can explain what you are and how you can be better.

Do you think my Assassin questions what she is?

Do you honestly believe that finding out the truth will save you?

She has it all figured out, because-

“What do ya think is the solution, huh?! Ya think it’s easy being me? Being something that’s beyond what is-is accepted? Being treated like gutter trash? Well, I’m sorry that I’m trying to be a good-good person! I’m sorry that I want-want to help people! And I’m sorry I’m a ghost in a field of life!”

The Voice did not return, as only the alone breezes past by.

“...I’m sorry for trying to figure out what it means to be me-me. You just being an asshole to me isn’t exactly helping. I’m learning how to love myself and live for others and myself.” Her head was low and her hat hid her eyes as she wiped the tears from them.

Right next to her, from the wind blowing thin strips of hay and pink petals, was a lone rose with thorn spikes.

One that hadn’t been there before.

Noticing it at her foot, she picked it up and her eyes expanded wide. Tying it to her hat, Vega stood tall and proud. Not unhurt, but ready to take on the challenges of the future.

“ I am something new entirely. And I’m going to figure that out, no matter what. I’m not celestial, and I’m not completely earthy. I am chaos and unity. Life and death. I am Vega, and ya won’t beat me you clod.”