Chapter 4: That's Not Gonna Hurt…

Have you ever wondered about what a rock feels? I have… It's amazing, really! Maybe it's a pebble in a puddle, could it feel disagreeable with its temperature? What is it like for an object to do an ordinary things without ordinary senses? Unsurprisingly, people don’t think much about this normally.

A person like me has studied about whether a non sentient object could feel, and yet people nowadays can’t spare a thought for the feelings of others. It’s something to be fascinated with!

The tall bandit wasn’t fascinated, sadly.

“IS THAT THING BLINKING!?” Lai squealed, her face turning to chalk.

“Golly.” Vega remarked.

“Can-n you stop clinging to me-e?” Chakrit struggled, as the mountain Lai jumped into his arms and wouldn’t let go.

“IT'S A GHOST!”

“No-o Lai. It-s a scarecrow-w. Now get-t off me!” He released, plopping her on the ground.

“Sorry, I just was scared of the weird noise-noise so I went to check it out.” Sheepishly rubbing her head in embarrassment, she gingerly chuckled. Lady Lai hid behind Chakrit, pressing her face to his helmet.

“Is that thing talking or have I lost it?”

“It is. But to be fair, you never really had it to begin with.” Chakrit sneered.

“So-so, if you guys don’t mind. I am gonna-” Lady Lai gripped the bird cage and raised it to Vega.

“Wait! Want to fight us?” Lady Lai, slightly braver, presented the task to the scarecrow.

“Not really? I kinda have to go to the hospital.” Vega said, waving her short appendage. The two bandits looked at each. They both thought the exact same thing.

“Well, Amber here can sew you-”

“No. I need a doctor.” Yep. She’s dumb.

“Look scarecrow, you can’t go to the doctor.” Chakrit spoke, knowing that healing a spirit was a matter of priestly duties.

“Maybe you're right. I don’t have insurance.” The pair turned to each other again. Maybe she isn’t as dumb as she thought.

“How about this ghost? You fight us so we can test out our new bird, and we’ll guarantee you get a good doctor.” Lai gently spoke, stepping out in front of Chakrit

“But ya got sharp-sharp stuff.” Pointing to the Kerambit and Guan-dao in their hands. Chakrit shook his head in disagreement.

“Oh right. Ok, I’ll use my meteor chain. And Amber will use his staff.”

“I will?!” He jumped to the face of the giant lady, pleading to have some real action. She placed a calming hand on his chest.

“Calm down Amber, she’s a simple soul.” Lai spoke.

“Oh she’s real simple alright.”

“Are we-we gonna fight-fight or what?” Vega pushed her face between the conflicting parties. “Because I’m not sure if I can bleed.” Chakrit’s orange paprika face turnt to apple cinnamon.

“Oh, you’ll wish you could.” Grabbing his weapon in an iron grip, and whacking the scarecrow past them.

“That’s my line now.” Lai claimed.

“Shall we dance?” Vega started to shuffle her feet. “I want to see-see your moves.” Vega smirked. This was her moment.

“Attack!” Lai swung her skull sized flail to the floor, forming a dust screen.

Vega peered at the cluttered air around her, to see where her fight partners were. She waved at the dust surrounding her. A falcon’s beak appeared.

“Oh. Hi-Hi-” The falcon skewered her arm and dived to the spiral staircase below. The bird was of monstrous wing span, with it barely contained in the corridor. It chomped its jaw at her neck.

“Ya must be hungry. Got a present for ya.” It held its beak at her face, and snapped together like a bear trap. Its mouth was not the cow tail neck of Vega, but the mushroom she put in. It released its spores within the system of the falcon. Reeling and gasping for air, its eyes turned red. Vega felt bad.

“Sorry. Maybe only ghosts can eat that.”

“Eat this!” Chakrit took to using his staff as a spear, carrying them both further in. At the bottom of the staircase, they entered into the cathedral’s catacombs, filled with cobwebs. Chakrit attacked with less speed and more momentum, carrying each step and twist into the next strike.

Vega couldn’t keep up and used the darkened corners of their arena to buy her space. A strike would land in a thick web, another on the pillar of the building. The noise of the battle bounced around, as Vega took to hearing if anything was around her. Each second she spent was each foot Chakrit got. Closer. Dealier. Chakrit’s voice came out, brimming with confidence.

“What's the matter, scarecrow? Can’t keep up?” Vega heard her chance.

“No. But I can keep you down.”

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“Huh? What do you me-?” Vega skipped over a hole in the room, allowing Chakrit to walk into the hole without thinking,

“-eaaaaannnn!” A metallic clang exitted the hole.

“Ow!”

“Sorry.” Vega bent down to the hole.

“No worries. I needed practice.” An honest response.

“Oh. Then-then I’m not sorry.”

“You will be.” Lady Lai struck her side, crashing both the flail and Vega through the catacomb wall. The hay girl flung back to the main part of the cathedral, sliding across the sage wood floor. Lady Lai stepped out from the darkness of the catacombs and into the bright chambers of what appeared to be a room for prayer.

Vega lifted herself up, to see Lady Lai dropping the weapon aside and moving to a wrestling stance. Wide spaced feet, her chest lower to the ground, ready for the scarecrow’s next move.

“Just want to let you know. I’m not scared of you anymore.”

“You’re not scared of girls anymore-more? I’m glad.” Vega was truthful. Lai was infuriated.

“That's it.” Blinding rage controlled her, as she rammed into Vega. Grabbing her by her feet and holding her like a baseball bat, she swung her into the many shelves and crates around. Vega’s smile filled with small splinters.

“Thanks for the toothpicks.”

“Shut up!” Throwing her into a set of pews, Vega spat out the shrapnel. Lai marched up to the laying body, her brows melded to a fixed anger. Stretching out towards the pew. Vega’s hand brushed up against something. A worn out lever on the ground.

“What are you gonna do now? Give up or I’ll… what will I do?” Lai pondered. Vega had an idea. A terrible idea. A terrible, no good, very bad idea. She pulled it. An pipe connected into the top of the room flooded liquid onto both of them.

“Damn it! I just had this cleaned.” Lai complained, quickly forgetting about her opponent.

“Huh. Tastes like holy oil.” A soakened glove brushed against the face of Lai. She turned to see that Vega was there.

Well, Vega’s bag head.

With no eyes.

Or… mouth.

Lai saw the muddy black features melt off and fall into the pool.

“Mmmh!” Vega had no mouth, and really wanted to scream.

“Where did your face go!?”

“Mmmh Mwwh!” Both were in a figurative and literal loss for words. Vega, in a bid to redraw her face, ran through the oil laced room. Lai caught her breath and set her mind straight. Before running after her, Lai looked up to the pipe above her.

“Sanguians have such weird marriage ceremonies!” Bumping around the halls of the cathedral, Vega held her one arm in front. She heard the distant cries of both her opponents.

Need to find a crayon. Unfinished murals, packs of broken tools lay all around. She tripped and barely kept herself upright. Running into walls, statues, and a few cobwebs, Vega was frantic. I really need to smile. I’m starting to feel bad, she knew. The whirlwind stomach sense returned.

“Idiot.”

“Kmmlmh!” The corvid was just a few feet in front of her.

“Chakrit? Where's the falcon?”

“Got it. Though it's giving me weird looks at me. Is that bad?” An echoing screech came to Vega, along with Chakrit’s squealing.

“Yes, that's bad Amber.” Lai’s voice was coming closer. Kaliba leapt onto her shoulder. It pecked her head to the left.

“Gmlmmh.” Tumbling into a wall, she kicked what felt to be a rock. Powder sprinkled on her knee.

“Mmmh blmmmh mh klmmh!” Crouching down, she pressed her hand on a pile of charcoal. Searching for something to create a new eye, she gripped onto a small shard. First smacking it against her face. Then carefully drawing out her uneven eyes.

“Gotcha!” Vega darted from the duo’s attacks, dropping the charcoal piece. She attempted to pantomime, shaking her arm in a cross.

“What did you call my mom?!” Lai, enraged by Vega’s clear insult, jumped forth. Chakrit cast the drugged falcon upwards. Kaliba cooed, seemingly unable to understand the battle between the parties. Vega ran up a flight of stairs, and began to throw all kinds of objects.

Ducking and diving around, Vega continually had to give ground to the Falconers. Crossing a half completed bridge, a bed of loose scaffolding clouded over the fight. Swinging his staff horizontally, it broke the last remaining parts holding the structure together. A shaking made them fall off balance. Each person quickly held to whatever was firm, as more parts of the bridge broke off.

“Amber, the secret tool. Use it!”

“But we haven’t tested it yet!” He shouted, beginning to slide off the collapsing bridge.

“Just do it!” He threw off his wrist guard, revealing a cartridge combined with a hook with many barbs. Chakrit grabbed a rock and hit the box. A booming smoke appeared in his face, as the hook impaled deep into the cathedral wall. Both Vega and Lai grabbed onto him, flying upwards onto a wooden beam.

“Haha! It worked!” Wiping the sweat off herself, Lai helped Vega off on a nearby opening. Both of the Falconers heaved and took sigh of relief. They were back on solid ground, and in the same room they started.

“Whew! Was that fight or what?”

“To be honest, fighting in a temple was kind of the change of pace I needed. Good work Lady.” He rested his palm on the towering woman.

“No worries. Plus if you didn’t make that grappling hook, we’d all be dead.” Lai bashfully smiled.

“Thanks for reminding me. Now my good mood is ruined.” Chakrit returned to his contemptible position and Lai grew upset.

“What? We’re bandits. That's what happens.” Vega opened one of their packs and a pencil with her left hand. Quickly, she used it to redraw her mouth.

“Alright! I won.” Both turned towards her.

“What?”

“I won. I beat you. So now-now can I go get a doctor?”

“That's not how… nevermind.” Lai rubbed her hands across face, and began to search through the pack, pulling out a card with the name Linda on it and pinned it on her.

“Look scarecrow. Go to the ‘doctor’ you need and you’ll be fine. If that doesn’t work, just say the Falconers sent you.” She groaned, clearly wanting to have a bath.

“Thanks pretty lady.” Vega closed her eyes and gave a dorkish grin. Lai was taken aback. She appreciated the complement, but swiftly returned to her proud personality.

“No problem. What's your name?”

“Vega. You-you?”

“Lady Lai. And no, it's not Sun Lai.” She complained.

“I think you’d like Kaliba then. He keeps on saying his name is not Sun-Sun.” Vega pointed to the crow on her shoulder.

“So that's where he went.” Lai’s eyes widened.

“Who?”

“Nevermind. Go get your doctor, Vega. Maybe we’ll see you in the city when we’re done recovering.” Lai smiled, finally someone with manners that wasn’t Amber.

“Okie dokie! See ya.” Vega walked through the doorway, pulling the pickaxe in the way, and dropped downward. Lai rested her shoulder on the doorway.

“How do you think she got here?”

“Don’t know. Where do you think she’ll go?” He chirped, petting the falcon into a blissful sleep.

“Places. People. Maybe even-” The rolling of wheels caught their ears.

“Wait. Does she-?” Chakrit rushed past her, lowering his head down to the cathedral floor. Vega drove the donkeys outside the cathedral.

“No way. She had a cart this whole time!”

“Man. We really need some more men.” Lady Lai sunk into a fetal position. “God damnit. She’s going to Core Civitus!”