“■■■■■… ■■■■■. ■■■■■??”

 A distant voice called out to her from the darkness, his light melting into smooth stones that paved a road twisting and winding through the nothingness, giving her ground to stand upon.

 She turned her head this way and that, hoping to find him, but everywhere she looked, all she saw were empty gray spires spiraling upward, covered in sinister yellow eyes instead of leaves. Scarlet liquid dripped from their boughs, forming a lake bisected by the cobblestone road.

 “There you are, ■■■■■. You’ve — for — days! Had us all worried, you did. Tatyana thought that — of Whispers would be — you, but I knew ■■■■■ wouldn’t let himselfherself die like that!”

 The confused girl spun to face the voice, but no matter what she did or where she looked, there were just more of the wicked “trees” staring down upon her. Their gnarled roots stretched up out of the ichor and began to dig into the paved stone road.

 Slowly, the crimson tendrils crept towards her. She only had one option, one path. The girl turned around and began running, the road curving and curling into steep slopes and impossible loops as she fled, more stones forming the path with every laden step she took.

 “It really is a shame — conspired — blade in your hand, — brush and palette, ■■■■■. Your — more like a gentle willow than stalwart oak, hehe.”

 “——!!”

 She tried to shout, but her voice was unintelligible. The words she'd spoken on that day were no longer hers.

 But she recognized who that was, when it was. It was unmistakably the voice of Fawaris, from when she’d encouraged ■■■■■ to try painting once. ■■■■■ had never taken her words to heart while living in the Human Kingdom, but the princess had been right.

 Her breath caught in her throat as she fled from the grasping tendrils—though whether they were crawling after her or dragging the path back into the gaping, gnarled mouth of a giant bloody tree, she couldn’t tell.

 No matter how fast she ran, she never seemed to make it any further away. Her heart throbbed in her ears like the pounding beats of a grandfather clock.

        “This is our instructor? He can’t even —!”

                        “I don’t recall raising such a pathetic excuse for a —.”

   “Get out of —, you lush!”

                        “You useless —, — been — if you —!”

 “What are you doing, ■■■■■!? You’re not supposed to be here!”

 A cacophony of voices filled her ears. The sky exploded into pastel tones and mosaiced shapes, like clouds made from crudely drawn flower petals.

 One by one, the petals flaked off and drifted downward like snow, the color draining from them as they dissipated like smoke just before touching the hellish lake, its blood-red waters ponderously rising with every tick of the clock.

 “Don’t you —! You could’ve retired with — by now if you hadn’t— —.”

         “Why go so far for others? You know that my life is— —.”

 Each sparkling mote was a long-buried memory, the vapors rising from the lake reeking of alcohol.

  “You could still—It’s okay, ■■■■■. I’ll—not be able to—pointers anymore, but—they’ll—together.”

 Mizar and Fawaris’ sentences jumbled together and assaulted her in tandem; each word slammed into her mind like a hammer, the anger, joy, and sorrow in their voices like nails piercing her with guilt.

 Her knees buckled and she fell forward, gasping for air that refused to come as her hand clawed at the stonework path, struggling to pull herself forward as it dug through stone like soil and caused more scarlet ichor to well up like soggy soil after a storm.

    “You and that dumb Mizar are both so— —!”

             “But…”

               “Thank you, my friend.”

 She wouldn’t give up here, she couldn’t let them down. She’d failed them once before—twice before. There wouldn’t be a third time.

 The girl scrambled back up to her feet and kept running, as land and sky traded places, crimson droplets falling from the eerie eye-tree filled lake above her and staining the field of flowers blooming around her. With every blossom tainted scarlet, an anguished cry or moan of pain burst forth, the weight of lives alreadynot yet lost hounding her.

  “Come now ■■■■■, what are you doing? Don’t tell me you’re goin’ soft on me.”

 “——!!”

 Mizar was mistaken. He was far more capable than ■■■■■ ever could be. How couldn’t he be, when ■■■■■ couldn’t even—

      “Haah? ‘Student surpassing the master?’ Don’t tell me — idle daydreams are still — —.”

           “One more round, come on. I’ll show you how much I’ve learned! No more holding back on me now, —!”

 The falling lake had begun to stain her clothes and hair, dyeing her red as each droplet sapped her energy. The field of flowers had come to an end, and before her loomed everlasting darkness.

 From above, the trees reached toward her with their gnarled sanguine branches, bulbs sprouting on the tips that all glared at her with wicked radiance.

 Clutching her hands to her chest, the timid girl shook her head, screaming out voicelessly.

 “——!!”

 Since the day she was born, ■■■■■ had never been given a choice in how she lived her life. All she could do was run, survive, and fight to see tomorrow. She was tired, she wanted it to end. She wanted to curse whoever forced this miserable existence upon her.

“Curses? I can break weaker ones with the Goddess’ power, but…” “Curses? I’ve had to deal with one or two before, but….”

““Best not to involve yourself with them, if you can help it. They’re dangerous for a reason.””

 But she could never do that. She was powerless to, and afraid of what consequences would await her if she tried, or who would even shoulder the blame for such a thing. And more than anything else, she didn’t want to admit the truth to herself.

Fame? 

Glory?  

Power?   

 “Is heshe really the sort of person to be motivated by such petty vices?”

 The grasping branches coming after her froze as a figure cloaked in shadows reaped them with a great crimson scythe, crushing the debris under its heel.

 Its form was obscured, but she could make out great shadowy wings spreading from its back. As it turned around, long flowing tresses of silver cast down from the top of its head.

 As it opened its eyes, twin motes of crimson burned inside its head. It wrapped its wings around itself like a cloak, shielding itself from Her light. The blinding radiance destroyed everything that She cast it upon, leaving naught but cold oblivion in Her wake.

 “Haha, of course not. ■■■■■ is a true champion of the people. There’s no one I’d trust more with the fate of the world! Honestly, he’sshe’s probably more deserving of this sword than I am!”

 “The Goddess has put Her faith in you, though.”

 “Then I’m putting my faith in himher.”

 “Ah yes, the transitive property.”

 “Who asked you to butt in?”

 “And what is this property you speak of?”

 “Don’t tell me they don't even teach math in Dauwen these days!”

Who cares about that? 

 She raised up her hand, smearing away the light as she shielded her eyes from its stinging brightness.

 The sound of clacking heels echoed from the void behind her, drawing her attention towards a regal woman steadily approaching. She was clad in deep blue and gold, a single scarlet hairpin tying back her platinum locks.

 She was breathtakingly beautiful.

Wasn’t there something else that I actually wanted? 

 The woman slowly offered her own hand toward her. The same hand that’d unflinchingly been offered, time after time.

 She hesitated, hovering amidst the drifting nothingness, but the only things she feared were inside herself.

Was there some reason I always had to suffer? 

 The girl nervously reached out her own hand.

Is craving happiness really that big of a sin? 

 Tenderly, her fingers locked with the woman’s, and as she was pulled into her warmth, the darkness surrounding them collapsed in on itself, replaced with rolling green hills and gentle white lily bells.

All I ever wanted was a real family.

 ＊　＊　＊

 Wincing, Lycoris slowly opened her eyes. Even though it’d only been a dream, she still felt like she’d just ran a marathon in ill-fitting boots. Perhaps because she really had been running away. From her parents, her “enemy,” and herself.

 She’d lost her armor first, then her hatred, and finally her blade.

 Having finally experienced unconditional love, her previous life felt laughably hollow in comparison. Like she’d been a little girl piloting a person-shaped golem that whole time, rather than an actualized human being.

 Pushing away the nightmare, she looked at the ceiling and… realized that the familiar purple canopy bed wasn’t hanging over her. She hadn't realized how accustomed she'd gotten to seeing it each morning until it was missing.

 Briefly, the thought occurred to her that the entire several months had all been an alcohol-induced fever dream. Somehow that felt far more terrifying than anything she’d experienced in her nightmare just now.

 She raised her pale and lithe hand, looking at it as though examining a curious little bug before grasping a lock of silver hair and sighing in relief.

 Relief? Why do I… I mean I don’t! But… There must be something wrong with me. Maybe I’m sick. Th-That’s probably what it is! I’ve got a fever, that’s why I had such a weird dream, and such strange thoughts. Yes, I'm just sick. I caught something weird while wandering the city. Maybe from those dracybaras!

 …Can vampires even get sick? Come to think of it, I’ve never really heard of one succumbing to anything other than the shining light of the Goddess or a hero’s blade.

Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.

 Though, that was just in stories like the ones the Princess read. Lycoris had come to understand the far more banal reality during her little excursion. If vampires really were no different from humans… as far as civilians went, at least… then perhaps they could fall victim to illness too.

 She should have expected as much, considering how inglorious her former life as a knight was compared to those gallant tales of chivalry. Even after she’d become vice-lieutenant, most of her days were spent drilling soldiers rather than doing field work, much less going off on adventures…

 And neither attempt she’d made to save a maiden in distress had succeeded.

 Her thoughts shifting from princess to maid, she squinted her eyes shut as she rolled over in bed and pressed her face into the warm, lace-covered pillows.

 Wherever she was, the bed felt far softer and more comfortable than usual. It was hard to imagine a luxury greater than the bed placed within her room, but this one felt almost as if it was pulling her in.

 “I hope Athena’s okay… It’d be awful if I risked Mama’s wrath and ended up not even actually… …”

 She trailed off, her face quickly reddening as her mind quickly shook off the sleepy haze hanging over it.

 W-Wait wait wait, Mama!? What the hell’s wrong with me!? I-I mean, I know that she’s… But, what am I doing acting like a little kid? Gugh! Get a grip, Lycoris! What if you said that in front of someone!?

 “Fear not, darling flower. The maid has already been returned to our palace, shortly after you were.”

 Her mother’s voice reverberated through her body, as though the bed itself had spoken… to… her.

 “HbwoorgyaAAGH!? W-W-W-Why are you here!?”

 Lycoris bolted upright—or at least attempted to, though she found herself embraced by the linen-clad Exaltare and unable to pull away.

 After stroking her head and chuckling quietly to herself, Lilianna allowed Lycoris to sit up and look around in confusion.

 “There is no land that may bar our entry, but would it not be most natural to find us in our own bedchambers in the early hours of the morning?”

 “Then… W-Why am I here!?” She wanted to draw the sheets up over herself to hide, but instead opted to grab a pillow—an actual one—to hug in front of her instead.

 “We were hardly going to allow our dearest little flower out of our sight after her reckless escapade. And why would we not embrace her when she was bawling in her sleep?”

 Lycoris’ voice dropped to a whimper. “I-I was… what?”

 “It sounded like quite a terrible nightmare. Would that we could do more to soothe you than just hold you in our arms…”

 Lycoris felt her heart throb in her chest as the frustration inside Lilianna came out in her tone ever so briefly. There’d be no escaping the inevitable consequences of what she’d done. If she was lucky, she’d at least have her life spared.

 Best to tear the bandage off quickly, and prepare herself for whatever punishment was coming.

 Tensing her core and sitting up cross-legged in her camisole, Lycoris tried to recall how she felt while apologizing to her commander, and spoke with a slightly trembling tone, “My… my utmost apologies f-for my behavior, Mother. I am aware that my actions were foolish, reckless, and put the entire Empire at risk.” Not that she felt torn up over the idea of the Vampire Empire collapsing. “I overestimated m-myself, and ended up completely out of my depth. And, um… had to be rescued by someone claiming to be your twin sister. I’ll… accept any punishment, or pay any price.”

 She bowed her head and closed her eyes, bracing herself for her mother’s fury.

 But there was no lashing, gripping, or even movement on the ruler’s part. Lycoris timidly opened her eyes after the silence dragged on further, curiosity getting the best of her.

 Lilianna was staring at her.

 There wasn’t any surprise on her face, just displeasure and disappointment. When Lycoris met her gaze, she crossed her arms and put a palm to her cheek.

 “Is that all?”

 “…H-Huh?”

 The Exaltare inclined her head and spoke quietly, “If that is the extent of your thoughts, then all you have accomplished is proving the adage that a fool and his head are quickly parted. We do not need to hear from you to know that there was no merit to your actions. We are more than capable of seeing that for ourselves.”

 She spoke calmly—if callously—like this was any other lecture, but there was a slight hoarseness to her tone that Lycoris hadn’t heard before. Though she shed no tears, the weight of Lilianna’s anguish was as a particularly dense lump of raw mythril in her gut. It might’ve been easier to bear if the Exaltare had just broken her fingers or slapped her or…

 Lycoris understood that wasn’t the point, however. She realized what her mistake had been. Both of them knew an apology wouldn’t undo the damage she caused. Lilianna was attempting to at least turn this into a teachable moment, rather than dole out a rote punishment after receiving an obvious apology.

 But that could only happen if Lycoris actually explained why she had done what she did, even if she knew it was a mistake already.

 “I thought that if I were to lose the only retainer entrusted to me, it’d demonstrate I’m unfit for rule, and in such a case it’d be better for me to either rescue her or—”

 “But you didn’t rescue her. You failed, Lycoris. A pawn is merely a pawn,” Lilianna’s brow darkened as she lowered her head, “and to even consider throwing away your own life is the most foolish, idiotic, stupid and vile sin you could ever commit.”

 “Wh…Wha…t?”

 It was the first time she had ever heard Lilianna speak of something even approaching virtues or sins. It was true that she didn’t really want to die, but giving her life for the sake of another was the best way one could hope to die.

 “If you truly wished to save her, if you genuinely believed that you were in the right, you would not have given up on convincing us. Did you not swear that you would trust in us, and allow us to trust you?”

 “What are you talking about?” Lycoris tensed up and raised her voice, “The moment I tried to bring it up, you shut me down immediately. You told me it was a lesson in ‘acceptable losses!’ What was I supposed to say to something so inhumane!?”

 Lycoris was completely dumbfounded by her mother’s words.

 No, not just dumbfounded, but insulted. Lilianna claimed that she lacked conviction in her own beliefs. That she didn’t truly want to save Athena. She might as well have said that Lycoris didn’t believe in the Goddess.

 The girl quivered in anger at the thought, but the woman remained calm.

 “We do not recall you having any such difficulties voicing your complaints when it came to other matters.” She waved her hand, gesturing to the bottle and glass on the bedside table behind Lycoris.

 “Because—”

 “You are being dishonest with us. No, perhaps you are being dishonest with yourself, too. In either case, we do not appreciate it.” There was a cold fury in her tone, threatening to freeze Lycoris’ heart in her chest.

 “Wh… What do you mean?”

 “You hold less value in your own life than that of a lowly maid.”

 The temperature of the room plummeted, leaving Lycoris feeling as though she were sitting atop a glacier rather than a warm and comforting bed. It was as though the very core of her being had been seen through.

 “You have acted with reckless, selfish ‘selflessness’ at every opportunity presented. You chose to starve yourself, rather than seek aid or alternative ‘til you could no longer conceal the agony you were inflicting upon yourself. You rushed off on your own, without even trying to convince us of her importance. You chose not to command the guards, even knowing that you could impersonate us. And you could not even bring her back. You would have lost your life, if not for Rosa. You are far, far too precious for that!”

 A single tear rolled down Lilianna’s cheek, her knuckles going white as blue blood trickled from her hand onto the bed sheets. Her anger was palpable, crushing, suffocating, and…

 “Ah… B-But…”

 “If you truly wished to save her, then why not wield every tool at your disposal!? Why jump to throwing yourself away!? Do not value my daughter so poorly!”

 Lilianna’s shoulders trembled as her mastery over her emotions began to slip.

 The fury behind her words pierced Lycoris to her core, reminding her of memories she’d desperately tried to suppress, the disappointment and fury of a mother all too unpleasantly familiar to her.

 But the basis for it—no, the entire argument was completely inverted.

 And yet… In the end, the words Lycoris spoke in response were no different from her childhood.

 “I just… wanted to help. I didn’t want to be a bother. I… I wanted to be useful… I wanted to save her. I… I don’t wanna die… I don’t wanna be a monster…”

 Tears welled up in her eyes, as the distant, nightmarish past intertwined with the hell that she had crafted from her own inner demons. She didn’t want to hurt anymore, she didn’t want Lilianna to throw her away.

 Like a furious monohorn, Lilianna pounced upon Lycoris and pulled her close, squeezing her slightly too tightly for comfort. Lycoris couldn’t place why, but she couldn’t keep her emotions in check.

 Why am I crying? Why can’t I calm down? What’s wrong with me? Is it because I’m a kid? Or is this how girls are? It was like this last night, too…

 “Stupid, stupid, stupid child! Damn those humans! I’ll kill them all for what they’ve done to you! There’s nobody more important than yourself, okay Lycoris? Engrave that upon your soul. That’s a teaching more worthwhile than any bullshit dogma that fallacious ‘Goddess’ and its followers could impart! You’re not a monster, you’re my precious daughter, I never want you to throw your life away for anything, got it!?”

 Oh, right… it's because she loves me.

 Hiccups turned into sobs, and Lycoris clung to her mother, burying her face against that fragrant warmth. Having never experienced these sorts of feelings during her forty-five years as a man, she couldn’t contain the overwhelming ache inside of her chest.

 Together with her mother, she cried loudly and ugly, like a “little child.” In a display that’d be the drama of a millennium if either of them were seen, both mother and child wept openly as they hugged each other. Lycoris’ thoughts were a jumble of anxiety, confusion, and relief that her mother wouldn’t abandon her over such a mistake.

 Once their eyes had run dry and all Lycoris felt was stinging rawness, Lilianna separated her from her chest and tenderly wiped the tears away. Her mother caressed her head, tracing her fingers through her hair with a shaky sigh… before frowning.

 Even after shedding all her tears, Lycoris kept trembling. She knew that what she’d done demanded some form of chastisement; her mind filled with worst-case scenarios.

 “*ahem* Our apologies for shouting, Lycoris. It’s clear that you… understand where you have erred, but we still worry that your priorities may be skewed in other ways harmful to yourself. The price for recklessly acting on your own is naturally, the loss of freedom. Henceforth, you shall heed and obey our every demand; consider this a lesson in learning that we have nothing but your best interests at heart. Additionally, you are to remain in your room unless supervised by us or the maid. Until you have proven that you value your life and position to the extent that we deem only proper, these conditions shall hold. Understood?”

 “A-Ah? W-Wait, but—”

 “No buts. We’ve already been far too lenient, and that has only resulted in our beloved daughter endangering herself.” She paused for a moment, tapping her chin thoughtfully as she glanced toward the entrance to her room. “We shall naturally supply you with a means of summoning your maid on the off-chance she isn’t perpetually hovering right outside the door, despite our orders for her to rest.”

 Lycoris could’ve sworn she heard a gasp of surprise from somewhere, the mental image of a startled Athena wrapped in bandages causing a laugh to bubble up out of her. If she was already healthy enough to be eavesdropping under the pretense of doing her job, Lycoris had little to worry about. Somehow, that’d been enough to ease her concern over her mother’s harsh—but fair—punishment.

 But she still had one more thing to say to Lilianna. Her excursion had made one thing crystal clear, and the end of that nightmare had felt… prophetic, in a sense. Or perhaps a sign of her subconscious being more honest than she wanted to admit.

 “Um, Mom?”

 She pulled herself back from Lilianna with some measure of reluctance, sitting a short distance away atop the luxuriously cushioned bed.

 While she still found it hard to feel anything but disdain for the monsters that’d taken innumerable human lives, Lycoris at least wanted to return the feelings given to her. To repay kindness with kindness.

 Emma, Seraphine, Rosa, and her mother had all proven that vampires were just as capable of that as humans were.

 “Yes, Dear?”

 “I, um… Thank you, for being so patient with me… I’ll… do my best to live up to your expectations, as your… daughter. I…” she choked up again and briefly fell silent.

 Though the path she once walked had come to its end, her life had not ended alongside it. Her mother truly wished to give her a future. She hadn’t realized just how grateful she should’ve been for that.

 Perhaps it wasn’t the sort of family that she’d originally imagined, but… a lithe willow could bend and endure winds that would snap a rigid oak.

 So long as she allowed herself the same flexibility and accepted her newfound place in the world, Lycoris felt that she might survive the uncertain, tempestuous future awaiting her…

 “I love you too.”