The scar was a circular blotch, an unrecognizable pattern as if someone had splattered paint against the canvas that was her skin. Kaid traced it gently with his primary index, going over the sensitive ridges back and forth like a pendulum. The same swaying motion was in his thoughts, part of him feeling guilty such an injury had come to her because he was distracted, and another part trying to rationalize it was war. In war, people got hurt, people got killed. None of it was ever fair.

Kaid's life had never been fair, always controlled by unforeseen forces, as if he was a puppet and didn't even know it. The woman curled against him was a puppet master, her own Oblivion tailored to such an act, yet Kaid was unsure if she was one of those unforeseen forces controlling his limbs. Ever since Mara, Kaid knew a miniscule section of his mind was hesitant around her. It was hard to tell if the string she had around his heart was love, or just her way to control him. She had always given him free will, like a deity in the heavens, but maybe he was predestined to do something for her, to be with her.

A love such as this could be written in the stars, or it was just the result of two forces colliding violently in space to create something of beauty.

Jessamine flinched slightly, probably due to his touch which alerted Kaid to move his hand away and up to her stomach, feeling it rise and fall with her awakening breath. She, however, moved his hand back down, letting him know it was okay.

"Sorry, thought it might still be a bit fresh and sensitive," Kaid whispered in her ear, his other hand gently stroking the red strands above her, so he wouldn't pinch the strands between them.

"It's alright. It's more of a mental pain, I think. It doesn't hurt, but part of my brain believes it should hurt. It...it's hard to explain," she whispered, soon shifting to turn around, facing him, "how are you? You woke before me, did you have a nightmare?"

Her hand moved to his neck, feeling his gentle pulse, fingers gently tracing the lace of his shirt. It was the first respite she's felt these past few days, a moment where they could talk. They had a lot to talk about, but it felt like any time she broached the subject, something else would arise that needed to be handled. Things were calm, for now. Jessamine knew while waves could be calm and gentle, a gust of wind was all it could take to bring about chaos once again.

"No," he lied, knowing the nightmares were growing more persistent and dangerous. They didn't go away. They only grew and grew, to the point Kaid felt going on the verge of insanity. He could hardly sleep. He had locked that usurper blade in a lockbox underneath his bed, fearing that in his sleep he'd possess it and hurt her. Or, vice versa.

She didn't need to exert any effort to see his lie. She could see it in the darkness under his eyes, the way his pupils shrunk upon the question (when normally they'd dilate when gazing at her), or the uneasiness in his voice. There was an ache in her heart whenever he did lie about it, but she wondered deep down if she deserved such hypocritical pain.

"Kaid, it's tormenting you, haunting you. We should go speak to someone, see Cadize or-"

"And what would he do?" Kaid retorted harshly, not knowing if she read his mind to see behind the lie. He didn't know anymore. He couldn't tell, and that was the worst part of it all. She hated entering minds, but it was an itch that was so tempting to scratch. Yet, she knew the consequences of doing so. Would they even stop her?

"I don't know. The mind is a scientific mystery, but Cadize knows it better than anyone. If anyone might know a solution, it could be him," she explained, taking a deep breath, slowly moving her hand away, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pushed."

"No," he shook his head, inching closer to her, "that was uncalled for: the way I spoke to you. I'm just...tired, overwhelmed, stressed. And I'm still grieving, I think."

"What you've been through is something most men couldn't even imagine to happen in their wildest nightmares. It's unprecedented. Take as long as you need, Kaid. If you need a break from all of this, need to go soak up sand and sun in the Southern Isles or the mountains of Scale, do it. I want you to process this grief and stress without rush, without the feeling you need to swallow this all down to return to duty," she whispered, moving her hand back up to cup his jaw, fingers tangling gently into his beard, "I just want you to speak to me. I've lost count the amount of times I've stupidly cried in your arms because of how safe you make me feel. I want you to feel safe in mine as well."

"I do," he affirmed, "I do feel safe with you. I just...I thought this would go away on its own. You already have so much to worry about: the funerals, the meetings with Vrah, the upcoming hunting season-"

"Kaid, you will always be my priority, I hope you know that," she gently interrupted him, eyes gazing into his, "I would drop the most urgent of delegations, meetings, anything for you, for anything you asked."

"You're an Empress, your people come first," he disagreed, shaking his head.

"I wasn't anything until I met you," she refuted back, "for years, I've struggled to figure out who I am. Everything I was to be was directed by someone else. When everything collapsed, so did I. I was left with nothing, I knew nothing. I clung to survival like a buoy, and I kicked and fought anyone else trying to hold on with me. All I did was fight to survive, it wasn't until the day I met you that I felt I could try to live. I've learned more about life, more about myself, in these months with you than an entire lifetime, an entire childhood. Empress I may be, I am only here because of you. Therefore, you come first. You will always come first because it was with you my life truly began."

"You give me too much credit," he swallowed slightly, feeling his heart ache at her words.

"I give you far too little. You're very important to me, the most important thing. I could live this life, as perfectly happy as I am now, without its luxuries and glory and royalty, as long as I had you. I thought I had lost you, and feeling that pain was worse than the blade forced into my side," her lip quivered slightly.

"I feared you to be dead, I thought you were dead. I wanted to burn that camp alive, wanted to kill every soul out of anger. The anger I felt most was towards myself and I...I couldn't bear the thought of a life without you. Life holds no meaning to me without you. Your hand will be the one I hold until death takes me, if anything he will have to pry me away from you," he whispered, leaning close to kiss her lips gently, "I love you."

"I love you too," she smiled against his lips, "in a world full of unknown Oblivion, invisible magic all around us at work, the idea of true love doesn't seem so fantastical to me. In fact, I know it's real."

"Mm, now you're reaching," he teased slightly, wanting to lighten the mood, "oh wait, you're serious."

"Remember that book you read about portalists, about the one who could portal to his wife based on connection alone and not location?" Jess asked, seeing him nod slightly.

"Yeah it was like a historical romance novel, the sex in it was a bit dry-"

"You're shitting me," she furrowed her brows, "you didn't tell me it was a fictional romance."

"Yeah," he laughed slightly, 'I thought you knew that. I do read those, from time to time. Why? Did you...wait, that's not how you found me, is it?"

"It is. It took some convincing but, yes. Bridger let me enter his mind, and I thought of our connection, between you and me. And it worked, it took us right to you. Without it, I don't know if you would be in this bed with me right now. I don't know how long it could've taken to bring you back to me," she whispered.

"That...actually makes sense, how you found us. The entire camp was under the belief it was impossible. And you did the impossible," Kaid spoke, absolutely stunned that it had worked, and that she had such faith in an idea based on a fictional book, "where'd you get the keys for the enchanted cuffs?"

"I..." she paused, knowing this was another thing that was causing him grief, even if they hadn't spoken about it, "I know about Mara. Gods, Kaid, I had no idea she was part of the Confederation. I didn't hurt her. If you hadn't told me anything about her, about who she was, what she was like, I might've. But when I realized it was her, and that the child I saved was hers...I immediately told her where to go, where to hide and keep that kid safe. She threw me the keys in return."

Kaid blinked slightly, that revelation also shocking him further, "And she let you live?"

"Yes. I think we came to a silent understanding of each other. I came there for one purpose and that was for you and Christine. She's there for one reason, and one reason alone, to keep that child fed and alive."

"She leads them, Jessamine," Kaid blurted out, perhaps realizing maybe he should have kept that to himself.

"I...are you serious? How is that even possible? I thought she was dead," Jessamine sighed, realizing just how complicated this was. Her worst enemy, at the moment, was someone Kaid deeply cared about. She hadn't even known she was standing in front of the woman responsible for the assassination attempts, and the death of ten of her soldiers a week ago. It didn't seem something Mara could do. Yet, she must be a different person than she was all those years ago, the same as Kaid.

"It's complicated, I think. I really didn't want to speak with her after I heard you were killed. Perhaps I should have, I could have gotten intelligence, some sort of answers-"

"That's not your job. That's the job of a certain someone..." Jessamine retorted bitterly, "It's in the past, Kaid. There's only brighter days ahead. We will deal with Mara if we have to, as diplomatically as we can. I know she means a lot to you, and I won't bring harm to her, or her child. We'll work it out, my love. I say it's another rough few weeks but it'll all be over soon. We'll let Cadize take a look into those nightmares, form an alliance with Lungor, and spend the rest of our days drinking wine, playing piano, and sailing into the sunrise."

"You make anything sound believable when you're confident," he smirked slightly, feeling a bit better. He couldn't let what Mara said get to him. They were near the end now, the shoreline in sight. If Jessamine had faith, then so should he. Right?

"Confident and seductive, that's how I was trained," she smiled, her tone a bit bitter given the truth behind the words, "after all, I had to partially seduce a Confederate prisoner to get more information where you were being held. I hope that doesn't make you jealous."

"Fuck me, if that's the kind of torture you offer, perhaps I need to get on your bad side," he teased.

"Oh, be careful what you wish for. When this wound completely heals and all of this is put to rest, I'll make you eat those words," she laughed with delight, kissing him one last time, letting her tongue dominate his very briefly.

"I'm not the jealous type," he whispered, tempted to start something but they had already spent most of their morning talking, with little time for anything else.

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

"Yes you are. The good news is that I am yours, always. You have destroyed me in the best way possible, places where I once tasted blood in my mouth, now all I taste is you," she hummed contently, running her fingers through his curls, "are you sure you don't have anything else to talk about? We have time."

"No," he whispered another lie, kissing her forehead, "let's just get through this. It feels impossible but with you by my side it also feels so much easier."

There was not as much time as she thought. Time could be stopped, pulled, slowed, quickened...the only thing he couldn't do was create time. And like life, all things had to come to an end eventually.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The storm echoed throughout the cathedral, a roar of distant thunder mimicking the cry of the dead. Vitross rained most of the year, storms were a common occurrence. Yet to have one so powerful amidst a funeral, it reflected a darkness these dark clouds and seas controlled. This place held a comforting terror, one that even colorful mosaics and stained glass couldn't conquer. The only comfort for Kaid here was Jessamine, who's hand trembled slightly upon the podium.

"These ten brave men in front of me all died with honor. All of us walked in with intentions of peace, but were left amongst chaos instead. None of them could have been trained better, better equipped, or mentally prepared for what had come to pass that day. Despite it all, they fought to their very last breaths. Peace demands a greater sacrifice than war. These men died to protect such prospects of peace. Each of these ten are awarded with Vitross's highest honor, the Black Cross. Surviving members of each family will be given a pension. While no money can equate to the value of the lives lost, this palace will ensure their sacrifice will never be forgotten, nor the lives and people they left behind," she took a deep breath, "This funeral will end with the stories I've compiled of our sacrificed soldiers, hoping they will resonate for what they stood for."

Kaid stood in the back, his throat tight. All the grief he was holding back was swelling in this moment like a tsunami. He pulled back, hoping he could swallow it all down but he knew he was going to break open at any second. Kaid could feel eyes on him, glancing across the gothic hall to see Payne watching. Everyone else was watching the Empress, yet the gaze of the man responsible for these deaths mocked Kaid, as if demanding he cry and make a scene. This man spectated a war his sins were responsible for, and instead of fighting with them, he retreated. There were eleven dead souls in this room, and only one of them was a coward.

"Finally, we end on Sebastian. No last name, yet such a fact never could stop him. Sebastian was a kid lost at sea, unsure of how to navigate. He had all the tools, the passion and desire, but lacked the privilege of assistance. It wasn't until a kind hand outstretched itself to him, that Sebastian was able to show his worth and potential. Despite insults from his own guardsmen, being called a street rat, Sebastian possessed a trait which Vitross values more than others: perseverance. His character, his kindness to those who despised him, and his determination to become a Guard should inspire us all. His pension will go straight to the orphanage he continued to support, even after being adopted as a Guard.

"It is not the mistakes of the past that define us. What we do when life is on the line, when sacrifice and duty are intertwined amongst storms of evil...the light is so much clearer. Vitross has always been shrouded in darkness, welcomed by it. The mistakes amongst such shadows can be casted out by a single act in the light. All these ten men did such that day. A single act of courage, of love, of duty...all of that can eradicate the storms inside us all. So let the storm rage today in their honor from the outside. Let the rain drown us like tears. Let us be reminded in this weather that there is a sun behind it all. It may not shine this day nor the next, but it will one day. It may provide a miniscule shine, but nevertheless it is always certain to shine, and never stop shining no matter how dark it may seem. I thank you all for attending this ceremony. Any requests, beckonings, or inquiries can be met with my assistant Kassandra for any needs for the families."

When Jessamine stepped down, the sniffles of tears sparked. Mothers, wives, and children clung to the caskets with tears greater than the rain tapping the glass windows. Kaid felt his chest heave, watching the group of orphans huddle around Sebastian's casket, hands touching the stone gently as if offering prayers. Christine and Kassadnra moved to Kaid, both of them hugging him tightly out of love, knowing how he was feeling in this moment. Each embrace only made him grow weaker, his defense falling apart.

"Hang in there, big guy, we're here for you. Always," Christine whispered, giving him one last hug.

Jessamine spoke with Kiev and other Guardsmen, waiting for eventually everyone to leave and say their goodbyes. Certain people had to be dragged out by their loved ones until the only two left standing were Jessamine and Kaid. The only sound that remained was that continuous echo of thunder. The Empress walked over to him gently, seeing the beams breaking, the cornerstone collapsing to let the entire bastion of his heart collapse. When her arms wrapped around his neck, she felt him break.

Uncontrollable sobs flooded her neck and fringes of her black dress, the sounds of his cries muted by the continuous thunder and her bodice blocking the noise. Kaid felt an overwhelming sadness, a grief he couldn't put into words as if he lost a son. A son that he had killed, to try and save Jessamine, a boy who shouldn't have had to die. But he did. He was dead. He was fucking gone. No time could bring him back. All the memories he had of the boy, laughing as he wore his oversized Guards uniform, or the first time he had tried tea and hated it. Or the smirk on his lips when Kaid finally admitted to loving Jessamine.

None of that would ever return to him, just be branded onto his heart as a memory.

"I'm sorry Kaid, I'm so so sorry," she whispered ever so gently to him, letting him cry into her shoulder as her fingers clung to him. She knew this had been coming. He had been holding on to it all for so long, it wouldn't take long to come crashing down. And all it had taken was her embrace for him to feel that edge of safety to cry to. Kaid had been strong for so long, for everyone. For his friends, for these orphans, for the people he served, and most of all for Jessamine. Now, he wasn't strong enough to keep himself standing tall and that was perfectly fine. Jessamine was right here to comfort him, to let him air it all out. There was no place she'd rather be, no other person she'd want to comfort. Grief was merely an echo of love, a sadness stemming from the ending of happiness. Yet Sebastian's light would still resonate in Kaid, because Kaid had been the one to provide it.

Kaid had never known grief like this to feel like fear. With Mara, it was fear of never escaping Caladin, of coming to terms with his lifetime imprisonment. But this...this death, it made him afraid to feel this way for all he held dear. Kaid had never known until this moment how thin the vines of sanity were. He had seen so many quick to anger in Caladin, quick to kill from this rage that couldn't be quenched. The things he learned of Jessamine, who had unspeakable guilt. All of it came right now, feeling the fraying of his mind and emotions, knowing all it could take is a final snap to tear it completely.

That's what he was afraid of.

"I couldn't save him. I killed him. I took his life away from him, he was just a fucking boy," Kaid sobbed, feeling the tears continue in a stream he didn't know would ever stop. He collapsed to his knees, burrowing himself into her torso, crying amongst her hands gently tangling around his head, keeping him close.

"It's not your fault, Kaid. It's not. You tried, you tried so hard. I tried to get him to stop, I didn't have enough strength. Sometimes we aren't always strong enough to save those we love. Despite that, he died knowing you loved him. That's the strength he needed to face death," she hushed, cooing softly, "this life is cruel, unforgiving. I promise, I will make them pay with peace. I'll do whatever it takes so these children will not know war, nor will their future children know such. I promise."

Oh how far away it seemed, the days where war seemed like such a prospect, a collision that couldn't be avoided and one she wanted to initiate head on. And now, she wished to reroute that entirely. Kaid had changed everything, against every prospective plan that had involved him.

Kaid sobbed until the tears ended, emptying his heart and soul into the embrace of his Empress, who held him until it was all over. Kaid knew he hadn't been able to escape the inevitable. It had been a wound he had hoped bandages could salvage, but the outpouring of grief was always meant to overpower it. He was just grateful to have support by his side. He eventually pulled away, eyes red, nose slightly swollen, and the wetness staining his mocha skin.

"There he is, there's that beautiful face," Jessamine smiled softly, glad she was able to help calm him down, "you'll be okay. I know it doesn't feel like it. The grief will never go away, only be muted. Just know that it's normal. The greater the love, the greater the pain. So when it hurts badly on certain days, it's just him reminding you of the love you shared."

She knew all too personally of grief, of feeling responsible for death. While her actions against her father were more a catalyst rather than a killing blow, Jessamine had always felt a guilt and grief resulting in her mother's death. She had thought killing her father would change that, but it only worsened. It only got better when she met Kaid, when his light and love calmed it all.

"I ruined your dress," he mumbled, gazing at the dark stains his tears left at the beginning of her shoulders and mostly at the area below her bosom.

"You did no such thing," she replied gently, "what can I do for you, darling? The day is yours. We can spend it however you like."

"I think...I think I just need a walk," he sighed, "by myself."

"Okay, that's perfectly fine," she smiled, knowing alone time was important. Having those moments to reflect were just parts of the relationship. Being alone, being together, there had to be a balance. Jessamine knew he'd be alone, and when he got lonely, he'd come back to her. And she would be there for him, whenever he returned.

"And maybe after, you could play some piano?" he asked, knowing that was up to her and how she was feeling.

"It shall be done. I will be awaiting your return, with a warm fire roaring in the room, piano ready to be played, and a warm cup of tea," she rubbed his shoulders gently, "whatever you need, I will provide. All you need to do is ask. We're here for you Kaid."

"I know, thank you Jess, without you I..." he paused, not capable of finding the words. He didn't need to finish them though. Jessamine offered him one more embrace, squeezing him tightly as she stood on her toes before giving him a kiss on the cheek. She waited as he walked out, the storm of before now mere droplets of rain rather than an outpour.

Kaid walked and walked, his eyes down at his feet, glancing at the limestone ground that grew in darkness the closer he got to the sea harbor. His mind was scrambled, any form of meditation stemming from the walk almost making it worse. He didn't know how long he had walked, going in circles or just following the edges of the cities, avoiding any patrols. He knew this city so well, having a compass in his mind, but now it felt like it just kept spinning, no direction being noted.

And then it stopped upon a presence that seemed to be following him. Kaid turned, glancing at the man. Esthero: the man inside Mara's camp who had known about the blade. Kaid reached his hand to his backside, feeling the outline of his sword hidden amongst his kaftan.

"Tsk, no need to start a commotion. I know today might be a bad time, but Mara demanded I speak with you," he spoke calmly, hands raised slightly to show he was unarmed.

"What do you want? What does she want?" Kaid asked bitterly, not in the mood for this.

"Should you need to reach her, there is a Sender here, Tony. He connects with a Sender in our camp. Letters can be sent there if you wish to work with Mara. She also wanted me to make sure you were alright, that you are unharmed," he explained.

"I'm splendid, thank you for noticing," Kaid sarcastically replied, "I want what my Empress wants and that's peace. Mara and all the people you associate with want the opposite."

"She has what you want, what you desire most. Your proof," he hummed, making Kaid pause. No. It wasn't enough. It could be made up. It could be a false document. Nobody knew what Kaid wanted, what he truly wanted. Maybe they could help him get it, but that wasn't an option.

"None of you know what I want," he laughed, shaking his head, "take your offer elsewhere. If I ever see you, or any other Confederation member in this city, I'll turn you in myself."

Kaid felt the twinge in his mind, an attempt to enter it but he immediately forced it away, gazing at Esthero. So, he was the mind witch amongst their ranks, a rare male one at that. He was the one responsible for Sebastian's death, for everything that had transpired after...Jessamine's wound, her pain. Fuck.

"Oh...I see what you want. I do have to let you know, that's not a very wise decision. Has your Empress seen this? Does she know what tears your soul?" he asked, mockingly, "Jessamine won't help you with that. Nobody will. That war you will wage will be yours to battle alone."

"Get out of my fucking head!" Kaid screamed, "I will fucking kill you. Leave, now!"

"As you wish, Kaid. I meant no harm," he nodded, backing away slowly, "you know how to contact us. And you will contact us, that I guarantee. You can only run from the lies for so long, but don't lie to yourself that you want peace. You've never known it."

When Kaid reached for his sword to pull out, the second he glanced back up, the Uhkhtarian was gone. The grief in his heart evolved and morphed into rage. There was only one place the chaos started, one place he could get his answers, one place the lies couldn't hide. Jessamine had said to Bashir that only reconciliation was the way to move forward, to forgive but not forget. But there was one place he couldn't forgive, one place he could no longer let people suffer.

Caladin had to be burned to the ground, all prisoners released, all guards disposed of. Kaid would not rest until that was fulfilled. He knew it was where the nightmares would stop, where peace could really be achieved. Once that place was conquered, then he could move on, he could forgive. He cared not for his past, for his family, only his future. And there was no future with Jessamine in sight, without Caladin being destroyed. It wasn't about usurping an Emperor or Empress, it was about a place that haunted his mind like a graveyard.

Oh, how wrong and foolish he was to think this wasn't accounted for.