I was bullied everyday. My bullies called me ugly, fat and made me embarrass myself in front of everyone. Though they were right.. I wasn’t born handsome and I had always been a fat pig. I want to vomit when I see myself in the mirror.
Why? If only I had been more handsome.. if only I hadn’t been a fat useless pig!!
I had already given up on life. The only thing that is considered good that I had plenty of in my life was money. My family was widely known for having very talented singers, models or actors. Of course I was the one exception.. my sisters, brothers, parents and everyone else in my family. They were all beautiful. My entire family was ashamed to be related to me, my parents just gave me a good sum of money and made me move out. Every month they gave me $5000 for free. Which is amazing.. but that just made me even sadder. As they knew I was so incompetent that I couldn’t even work part-time. No one wanted to hire an ugly fat pig with gigantic pimples. Like for example in the convenience store, I would just scare the customers away. Anything that had to do with even socializing was not suitable for me. That’s how ugly I was.
I might as well end it now.. I can’t endure the pain anymore. The pain that I get from being punched and kicked by bullies hurt less than the pain knowing that I’m useless.. knowing that no one would have even glanced at my grave a second time if I killed myself.. knowing that they would care a lot more if one of my bullies died.
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I slowly opened my eyes and saw the clock.
7:20 AM
Time for another day of hell. I’ll just hope for the best I guess…
I slowly stood up and could feel the pain in my stomach from Friday. I was relentlessly kicked by some small crooks, of course no one budged an eye for me. They probably thought I was so disgusting that I deserved it. Words can’t describe how ugly I am.
Anyways, after eating a bowl of cereal and brushing my teeth I went to school. My school was a pretty good university in Tokyo, and my grades were actually above average. Meanwhile walking to the school I saw a beautiful slim blonde girl. Her name is Ayase. She was amazing, she was kind to everyone and even talked to me. I admired her, many people in my position would be romantically interested in her. But I’ve already trashed the feeling of “love” since it will never happen for me.
The only good thing about me is my family, as they have a lot of influence and is very famous. But people would probably prefer to get an average looking guy with an above average salary instead of a fat ugly pig with a good salary. And to be honest, my family wouldn’t even care about who I was married with if I’d ever get married. So it would not provide as many benefits as it would with, say my cousins. As they are very handsome and talented actors, models and singers. I’ve actually noticed that my singing is better than many in my family. But I haven’t showed anyone it as I already know that I won’t get to perform anyways because of my looks.
If only I was even average looking! I could have been something!
Those were my thoughts several times a day. If only..
I wonder if the gods had something against me, or if I just had the worst luck. Many may argue that I was still lucky that my family was famous. But it’s actually the reverse, you just feel more inferior.
“Hey piggie!” said Haruto. His name was written as Tender Sound. But for me, hearing his voice was like hearing the devil saying “Hey you, come down to hell”.
I started shaking, this was one of my bullies. He always made me give him my lunch money.
And of course he had “trained” me to kneel when he greeted me and say “Greetings, Haruto-sama.” I kneeled down and didn’t even lift my head. He put his foot on my back and twisted it a bit. I groaned in pain but endured. I’ve already experienced this plenty of times.
“Yo, I need some money for the arcade? You’d help a friend out right?” said Haruto demonically. Though he smiled replesendently and acted like we were best friends and had known each other for a while. I smiled wryly.
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“Of course Haruto-sama.” I said while handing him over 1000 yen (9.2 usd).
“Thank you Riku-kun!” said Haruto happily. He put his arm around mine and we walked like that to school. Then he saw his best friend or partner in crime Asahi and ran over to him instead.
“Yo Asahi!” he said. “I got some money for the arcade from piggie.”
“Nice bro!” said Asahi. They bumped their fists and laughed. “Let’s go directly after school. See ya outside the big tree?”
“Yeah!” said Haruto cheerfully. They both smiled like they weren’t aware of the fact that it was the money our Riku had brought today to eat lunch with.
I sighed when I saw them. I was already used to them exploiting me to get money for the arcade. But I was jealous of the fact that they had someone to hang out with. I’ve never had a proper conversation that didn’t involve me either having to work with someone in school or bullies taking money from me.
Must be nice to have a friend…
While I was spacing out and insulting myself I hadn’t noticed that a beautiful slim blonde girl stood in front of me. “Hi Riku-san!” the girl said cheerfully.
I looked at the girl. I felt my eyes coming to life. It might sound weird as we’ve only exchanged a few words before. But she was the only one who conversed with me without the intention to hurt or take advantage of me.
“Ayase-san, hello.” I said smiling a beautiful smile. The smile would make any girl fall in love with the boy if he had a bit above average face. Of course the killer smile didn’t really have that effect with Riku’s face.
“You have such a beautiful smile Riku-san!” said Ayase. She smiled back. Riku could feel his heart shake to the core. If only he had been more handsome, he would have been “allowed” to love her. The reason he felt like that was that she was worlds apart from him. Everyone liked her, she didn’t even need to approach anyone. She was the main attraction in the school. For a good reason too, she didn’t discriminate.
“T-Thank you.. you too Ayase-san..” I said shyly. I wasn’t used to people complimenting me. People just insulted me.
The bell rang and everyone started to go in.
"Oh my, looks like we have to go. Well I’ll see you around Riku-san!” she said happily. She waved to him and ran inside the school building. I stood still and watched her go into the building.
“G-Goodbye..” I whispered.
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After a long tiring school day I went back home. I sighed and took out my key and opened the door. In front of me appeared a cat. It was a beautiful bengal cat, looking like a hybrid between a tiger and leopard. With its beautiful fur, it looked majestic. I bought it for $5000. I saved up for it as I loved cats. They didn’t require too much attention but were loyal and kind. And most importantly, it acted as a friend and it didn’t mind me being as ugly as an ogre.
“I’m home Lewis.” I said warmly. I picked Lewis up and patted him on the head. He meowed and went into the kitchen and purred. Lewis sat down next to his bowls and meowed again signaling that he wanted food.
“Alright, give me a second.” I said. I took out some wet cat food and poured it into his beautiful bowl of porcelain. Then I ate some instant ramen and went to sleep. It had been a tiring day as always.
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Recommended song to listen to: Teqkoi x Ondi Vil x Mishaal - Addicted
I woke up with tears in my eyes. I had remembered something, there was always someone who had protected me when I was little. My biological mother. My step mother was like my dad, she despised me and actually she had all the right to do so. But my biological mother was beautiful, she loved me for who I was but had sadly past away. Everytime I had dreams about her I cried. I looked at myself in the mirror once again.
Ah shit, here we go again is what I wanted to think. But today I felt extra miserable. Every time I thought of my mother I became depressed. I glanced at the kitchen knife. My eyes were bloodshoot.
Should I do it?! Should I fucking do it?!
My hands were shaking intensely. I looked at myself in the mirror again. I roared angrily and punched the mirror, making it crack. My hands started bleeding and I groaned in pain. Several small bits of glass were stuck in my hand. I continued punching the mirror until I couldn’t see myself. I glanced at my hands and they were almost fully red. I laughed a bit.
No one will care if I die. So.. I should die right?
I slowly walked towards the kitchen knife smiling a twisted smile. I was shaking in fear and anger.
I don’t really want to die, but I don’t really want to live either? And with this face.. I can’t endure this anymore. This is all just needless suffering. WITH THIS DAMN FACE I WILL SUFFER FOR THE REST OF MY FUCKING LIFE ANYWAYS!! IF I HAD JUST BEEN NORMAL LOOKING! WHY!? WHY!!??
I started punching the wall intensely and without stopping for 15 minutes. My hands were totally destroyed and I was gasping for air.
Heh.. I’m also weak haha.
Then I passed out because of blood loss. Luckily that day was my birthday, so some of my family members came to visit. So they brought me to the hospital.
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I woke up and screamed in pain. My hands were utterly destroyed and my sanity had almost been broken.
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