“Honestly, all those trashy romance stories overexaggerate the process, most of the time. In general, as long as you don’t look, like, horrible and show yourself to be a decent person who is interested in having some fun together, many would have replied with a nod, barring the prudish ones.” - Saying tentatively attributed to the Silver Maiden, veracity often debated.
“You’re going to want to push those shells against each other at the junction, then pry them apart at a slight distance,” said Aideen once she was close enough to the white-haired elf struggling with his food to be heard properly. “You see, their shells grow into a natural curve that hooks into each other, so it’s a lot harder to simply pull them apart. Instead, you want to push them together to unlatch the hooked parts, pry them apart along the vertical, then pull them apart.”
“Oh!” exclaimed the elf in surprise – from his voice, Aideen pegged him as a youngster, somewhere between their first and third century, most likely – as he tried what Aideen suggested and the shell of the crustacean split apart with relative ease. “Many thanks for the help, Milady! This spiky bastard had been stymieing me for a good while just now.”
“Think nothing of it,” replied Aideen with a smile in return to the grateful nod the young elf gave her. He also invited her to seat herself across from him on the table, an offer she accepted as she slid upon the opposing chair and lounged herself in a relaxed pose. “You’re new in the region, I suppose? I can tell you’re from the Lichdom like me.”
“Oh yes, indeed, ma’am. Nice to meet someone from home in foreign lands like this,” he replied spiritedly. Aideen had used the Lichdom’s local tongue for her last sentence, something that the young elf had not missed out on as he replied in the same tongue fluently. “It’s only my third time out in the world at large, to be honest, and the first time I managed to convince my parents to let me go around on my own for a change. They’re a little… on the overprotective side, if you get what I mean?”
“I understand the feeling. Sometimes to parents you’d remain their little baby boy no matter how old you get. I can’t say it’s a bad feeling, but sometimes it does get a bit grating when you’re already an adult,” replied Aideen with a smirk on her face. “I see they’re both overprotective and willing to splurge when it comes to your protection,” she added as her eyes caught a tell-tale silvery glint behind the collar of the elf’s tunic. “Not everyone would be so willing to pay to have a mithril undershirt woven for the safety of their child. You have loving parents, to say the least.”
Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.
“That they are, ma’am, though like I said, I sometimes hope they would view me as a grown-up instead of thinking of me as their little baby boy all the time,” replied the young elf with a wistful sigh and a shake of his head. He clearly understood his parents’ care for him, and merely wished for more acknowledgement from their part. “Then again, my own path might take me far afield, so I might as well enjoy the closeness while I’m nearby, I guess.”
“Headed down the path of the wandering ones, huh?” asked Aideen with a raised eyebrow. Some elves had strong cases of wanderlust from an early age, and they often traveled far from their homelands, most never returning other than for short visits until the day they passed away. It was not a common affliction, but not particularly uncommon either.
“I believe so. It always… pleased me to see new lands, a change in the scenery, if you will, after a period of time or so. I do not believe I am intended to stay at any one place for too long,” replied the young elf with a smile. “My parents do understand my disposition, if they fuss quite a bit about my remaining safe and all that,” he continued with a slight shake of his head. “What about you yourself, milady?”
“Just returned from abroad after a long trip and headed back home, is all,” replied Aideen nonchalantly to the young elf’s query. “At the moment I’m just going around town while looking around for some good food, and with some luck, a good lay for the night as well,” her words were almost punctuated by a surprised cough from the young elf as he nearly choked on his ale. “Why the surprise?”
“Just… not too used to people being that open about their intentions, I guess? Maybe that bit of the romantic in me that still thinks that heading to the bed should be after a lengthy courtship session where two people get closer to one another gradually and all that?” replied the young elf with a slightly embarrassed blush on his face.
“I mean, if you prefer that, that’s your call, of course. Nothing wrong with being romantic” replied Aideen with a mirthful chuckle. “I’ve just outgrown that phase myself, I guess. Sometimes you just want to look for a good, fun night between the sheets with some stranger and be on your own respective ways the next day,” she continued shamelessly. “Less fuss that way, and no need to worry about commitment and the likes.”
“An interesting viewpoint, milady. I can’t say I find it displeasing either. You have a point that sometimes we do fuss over things like that a bit too much,” replied the young elf thoughtfully. “Though one point I feel like I should debate about is the fate of any children that might accidentally come to be from such unions. I would feel sorry for them if they had to grow up without one of their parents because of it.”
“You could always stay until they grew up, then. Either that, or use contraceptives,” replied Aideen with a smirk. “There are many ways to go about it and not be an asshole of a parent. Want to give it a try?” she added with a wink.