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Tap tap tap my hand tapped nervously on the table in front of me as I stared at the judge. A reasonable tall black guy with a stern look on his face that told me that my slightly loud nervous tapping wasn't making him any more sympathetic to my case
"Do you have anything you want to say to the court," he asked stone-ly, his eyes conveying to me that legacy was very unlikely.
My hand stopped mid tap as I looked over to the jury of my "peers" a bunch of adults from the really cute brunette who I'm pretty checked me out at the beginning of the proceeding, to the old women who started off with a smile and reminding me of one of those grandmas I've seen on tv to a scowl reminiscent to what you get if someone farted in an elevator and didn't own up to it
Not that I could blame her, the entire trial went a long while into making me seem like I was one step away from psychopath which I didn't really appreciate, I'm clearly more on the sociopath scale if nothing else.
"Just one thing your honor," I said standing up the cheap suit that my really terrible public defense attorney got me. I pulled my suit down and opened my mouth already knowing what I was going to say.
"If you guys could vote to not send me to jail that would be great," I said, giving my best charming smile. I don't think that it had the intended effect. The judge got even more stone-y and the jurors, even the hot brunette, looked kind of shocked at my brazenness.
Not that it mattered really. to say that I had really screwed the pooch would be understating the level of bestiality that I had gotten into. Bad metaphor aside, I wasn't exaggerating. I was found beating that piece of a shit foster dad of mine up after he decided he wanted to try and do some "Aggressive cuddling" with my brother Vinnie when he was drunk.
Some of the other foster kids tried to get me off him but I wasn't letting up until the guy was dead if not wishing he was at least. the ruckus of me screaming profanities and him just screaming woke some of the other adults who managed to drag me off him. One account of aggravated assault and battery.
To make things worse my track record didn't really paint the picture of someone who isn't the slightest bit of a delinquent. Multiple cases of theft. a couple of cases of fraud. another case of assault, though that wasn't really me. Hell the fact that I might be going to jail first out of the two of us was something I didn't see coming. Vinnie was the fly of the handle, smash it until it does what you want in our duo. I was more of the laughing diabolical in the background, holding onto a grudge for years until I made you wish that you never broke my laptop, You know who you are.
I turned and glanced back to the small crowd, the only one I recognized is Mrs. Ardin. Mrs. Ardin is the wife of that shit hole I beat the shit out of. hah. Vinnie was here earlier but he left sometime after the child shrink called me a "Demented unruly thug who manipulates and threatens people to get his way " but before some of my old teachers talked about some of the "incidents" that occurred while I was at that school. including one kid's entire locker being filled with spiders of various sizes. another kid had his internet history posted online and embarrassing pictures of him printed on the front page of the school newspaper. and finally something I am really proud of, the entire school and faculty were mildly Carrie-d with ten gallows of fruit punch hooked to the school's sprinkler system. Nothing that they could prove I did explicitly but enough to get me on multiple watch lists.
that wasn't even counting the cop who arrested me, some of his buddies that caught me in the random con once or twice . or even some older guys who weren't exactly excited to see me but happy to see me go to jail, as the recited stories of stuff that I did that the cops didn't know about.
My idiot lawyer rarely lifted his head from the massive stack of files letting the prosecutor essentially just have fun with the entire thing. I tried to be my own Lawyer but the judge would just get his scowling stone-eyed look and slam his gravel down. making me sit down as I just got more and more royally screwed.
The jury left to make their verdict and I just knew that when they came back I was going to jail, and probably not for a short amount of time. So I did the only rational thing you can at that time.
I went to the bathroom.
I wasn't kidding when I said I had to use the bathroom and considering I was about to get a cavity search and spent up to the next five years showering with a bunch of other dudes worrying that the trope of dropping the soap bar night be true.
With the public defender not even noticing that I left me and the guard responsible for me went to the bathroom. The one closest to the court had a sign saying that it was out of order, which the guard was less and happy at. Luckily I know how to make a really compelling case.
"Think of this as the final wish of a condemned man," I said facing him before he could demand we just go back and wait for the jury. "You saw that trial in there this might be my last time to take a piss by myself. can you really deny me that?
"Yes." the guard deadpanned.
Secondary tactic.
"I have 20 bucks in my wallet now and i'll give it to you if you take me to the bathroom. " I plead already feeling the pressure on my blatter. After the convict, me they'll put me in shackles and maybe let me use the bathroom then but probably without guards with actual guns instead of the rent a cop with the billy club. With him, I can take a piss and enjoy the last moment alone. Delusions are important you know.
The guard looked at me curiously before glancing at the closed bathroom, to the door of the courtroom and back at me. "Fine. '' he said, gripping my arm as he walked nearly dragging me down the hall. We turn left and then head down some stairs into the creepy dark dank basement that is that of a public building. the lights flickered a little bit and I felt like I was the geek that dies in the first half of the horror movie. You know the one who realizes that they're in a horror movie but dies just as they realized that while in said horror movie they should be in the woods or at that summer camp, or in that creepy basement.
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luckily I wasn't in the said basement of a horror movie, I hope. those kids in those horror movies probably didn't think they were in horror movies either.
We walked down the hall to a small bathroom that looked and smelled like inside of a gas station burrito.
But I asked for this and was paying 20 dollars to be alone for the last time. So I sucked it up and went inside. it was too small for both me and the guard so he stayed outside. Seeing as I made maybe in retrospect a very big deal about taking this time for myself i decided to do just that. but before I could, you know to take the moment. Crack... Thud
Finding that suspicious, I tried to open the door but there was something heavy laying against it. I shove it a little more before it gives.
Of course, what I saw was enough to make me just walk back in. In front of me next to a knocked out and bleeding security guard was Vinnie, my extremely impulsive brother dragging the security guard away from the door.
"What the fuck. " I yell, dropping to the ground to check the security guards' pulse.
"Shhh, do you want to be caught." Vinnie whispers, shouts at me not even taking his eyes off the security guard. "It would really suck if I went through all this trouble to break you out and we get caught because you don't have an inside voice."
finally, after a minute of fiddling around his neck because I only have tv shows and movies to go off of I finally find this guys pulse I take the second to take a deep breath and center myself to avoid giving myself an aneurysm
"Ok, so ill reiterate. What the fuck are you doing? "I said barely containing my anger.
"I thought it was obvious," Vinnie stated before letting the guy's feet fall on the floor before clapping his hands. "I'm breaking you out."
"Yeah, I can see that," I replied, my breathing techniques already failing me.
"Yeah well, I realized that since you were going to jail for protecting me the least I can do is break you out.
"Do you know how dumb that sounds-" I started to say before a massive sound like glass breaking in the 4th dimension. right after the sound left a blue box appeared in front of me out of nowhere.
Hello, Sentient life of this universe. Your universe is two minutes from being completely integrated into the World Break System where over 5 trillion other separate universes have been integrated into and been given access to the system in order to further their growth as sentient beings. As long as a being meets a certain threshold they should receive access to a system that takes into account their entire being.
"What the fuck is this" Vinnie said jumping dropping the guy's leg with a loud thump. It takes me a second to really even hear him as I was too busy looking over what the blue box was saying.
"I don't know, you see a blue box saying that the end of the world is happening in two minutes.” I say way more calmly than I had any right to be. Considering that I had spent the last couple hours getting told what a terrible person I am, was surely heading to jail, got involuntarily roped into a half baked break out, a plan that my impulsive brother has come up, which means that knocking out the guard and running away is probably as far as he got. Learning that the world might just be ending as well is just the strawberry on top of the smoothie. Not a big fan of cherries FYI.
For the planet named by its inhabitants as earth, there is good news and bad news. The good news is that your species has made great strides in technological advancements allowing a key component in integration. The bad news is that the magical energy in your planet is almost nonexistent. to correct that the system will be opening multiple Fractures to allow that magic to combine with this world. Beware of the sentient life that theses Fractures-
Further information prohibited at this point in time.
"The end of the world might be a right. " Vinnie said, staring into space reading his own box. Him saying that, and another just showing up from nowhere went to convince me that this wasn't just some hoax. It might be some shared delusion that came from the toxic mold of this place but I've never heard of toxic mold giving you very clear hallucinations of floating boxes that describe the end of the world. The last line in its creepy red not making me feel any better about what happening.
While I was contemplating the chances of us just being horrible poisoned my brother does what he always does in times of crisis, and takes action. Like when we were selling knock-off bags and when the cops started questioning me on the legitimacy of that enterprise and he started a fire in another stall to give me time to get the merchandise and cash in my bag. Or when I was working with some less than savory fellows and some ‘college guys' decided to throw a rock through one of the guys new fancy trucks. Vinnie may be impulsive but that tends to save my ass more times than I can count. After reading the box he quickly reached down to the passed out security guards pockets
"What are you doing," I said bending my knees to get a better look at him. I just received notice that the world was going to end and granted I wasn't happy that my brother just decided to break me out.
That being said I don't really plan to spend the end of the world in a jail cell.
Initiating World Break System. In 60s 59s 58s 57s .....
Vinnie glanced upward before continuing his search through the security guards' pants. pulling out a baton. taser a pair of handcuffs with a key and a knife and holder that was totally not regulations.
30s 29s 28s 27s 26s 25s
"We don't know what is going to happen in the next 20 seconds and I figured it is better if we have something we can use to defend ourselves,'' he said grabbing the handcuffs and club and shoving them in my hand.
10s 9s 8s 7s
"fuck your right." I saw my eyes keeping an eye on the box as it slowly ticks down to 0.
"We don't even know what to expect," I said, forcing my eyes away from the box to look at my brother one more time before the world ended. He was holding onto the knife on the taser so hard that I thought the taser might break.
"Vinnie"
"Yeah"
"I never got to pee"
Initiate World Break. Good Luck