Back in the RV again, Harvey and Carroll were tearing up the highway. It was a different feeling than before; urgency, panic, desperation. Mostly coming from Harvey the energy was infectious. “Son of a bitch! Why would he do this!? I thought for sure he’d be coming back down! That he’d have that big bastard knocked out! A quick statement of what went down and boom! We’re licensed!”

Carroll pulled at his hair in the passenger’s seat, trying to wrangle it but finding the silky, strangling net that he commanded to be mostly out of his control. Anyone looking at the RV rolling by would doubtless be disturbed, seeing him encased in the writhing, living golden mass. “I don’t know! I thought he knew the plan but the second he got hit it all went out the window.”

“Can’t you keep that shit under control!? It’s getting too close to the steering wheel, Care!”

“No! I feel like I’m gonna have a heart attack, man. Maybe if you could keep your cool!”

“Nope! Not even trying! What’s tracking say?” Harvey changed lanes aggressively. A driver, startled by the movement, looked over and saw Carroll’s red goggles glint in the sunlight, demonic pinpoints of light inside a golden cloud. He ran off the road and into the grass, stopping just short of a picket fence.

“Harvey! You just ran a guy off the road!”

“Impossible; there’s still a lane on my right! Tracking!”

Jerking the ruggedized laptop in its swinging arm over to himself Carroll checked the weird dark web messenging software that Harvey was using to communicate with his contact. This unknown figure was using it to show them the trajectory of their quarry and projected a landing point for him (again, that’s the Big Original Gangsta). “Uh! Unchanged! Rural landing point, east of Lake Placid.”

“Lake’s a big place, Care. You got coordinates?”

“Your contact says it’ll be obvious, actually. He’s positive B.O.G. will miss all bodies of water. Just … look for the crater?” Carroll quickly started to type back, asking for clarification.

“Crater? Look for a crater? I hadn’t even thought … how big of a crater!?”

“Waiting on him to say.” Just in time Carroll got a reply. “Oh! Uh… Holy shit.”

“What? Don’t just say shit, I’m already wound up!”

“Rounding off it’s like six-hundred twenty meters. What is that in feet? Force of over six-and-a-half megatons? Is that a lot?”

“F-fuh…” Harvey left his body for a moment, feeling a hard clench in his chest as anxiety just about took over he shook his head hard to keep control. He drifted in the lane but shook his head again. “Keep it together.” Luckily onlookers didn’t see a man entirely in control of his faculties and, because of this, other drivers were keeping their distance. “Johnny! Dammit, the channel is still open, man! If you aren’t still in fucking space then you should be able to hear me! You get your ass upstate! I don’t know why you took our perp into low earth orbit but he’s about to hit the ground with the force of a nuclear fucking bomb!”

“A nuke? A nuke…” Carroll was fighting shock himself. “I … oh lord, I gotta find out.” Typing rapidly, typos flying, Carroll almost prayed, something he hadn’t done since he was a child. “Please…” he pleaded, as close as he’d come.

“Yeah. Yes. Like … bigger than atomic. Like he’s gonna hit harder than we hit Nagasaki and Hiroshima together during World War II, Carroll. Fuck. How are we gonna… This could be the end!”

Send. Carroll corrected some of that; he had to. This secret genius that Harvey had been using was good but the gibberish Carroll had typed was just too much. “How can you even think of our status, Harvey? If we caused such loss of life, like a giant bomb … we don’t deserve to be ‘heroes’. Fuck, that … that big bastard, he was right.”

“Right? The Big OG?”

“Yes. He said … we’re not heroes. I didn’t want to believe but…” Carroll trailed off. A reply. Reading, Carroll breathed deep and exhaled with a shudder.

“Care?” Harvey was finally sobering up himself. Realizing the level of destruction they’d contributed to causing his priorities were shifting.

“I think we’re okay. Your contact says the impact point is miles distant from any human habitation. It will disrupt wildlife but the worst that might happen is damage to Holcomb Pond? Oh, now there’s a chance it might hit this pond. And … he’d be under a few hundred feet of mud and water.”

“Wildlife? So … no people?” there was a note of joy in Harvey’s voice.

“Well, not unless someone’s camping. And it’s not a campground. There is one nearby…”

“Whoo!”

“And a lot of animals will die for sure.”

“Fuck yeah! No people will die! We’re off the hook, Care!” Having slowed to the speed limit Harvey stomped the gas pedal, redoubling their speed.

“But the animals!”

“Fuck Bambi, Carroll Avery! We’re getting our Hero License today! Oh, hey…” behind them a siren sounded and a New York State Highway Patrolman whipped from out of his speed trap to close the distance on them. Harvey pulled over quickly, slapping his helmet closed.

“Shit! Harvey, shouldn’t we try to look like civilians!?”

“Not today, Care. Game face on!” Rigid, gripping the steering wheel, Harvey rolled down the window in anticipation. “C’mon, dammit, Statey.”

“Harv. Calm down.”

“I’m not Harv right now, dammit. Get in character–” the patrolman strolled up to the RV window.

“Hey there, you know why I stopped–holy shit!” at the sight of Harvey’s helmet, the scowling, skull-like armored gas mask with the red pinpoints glaring out at him, the officer put his hand on his gun.

“Officer Logan, listen carefully.” growled the Bouncer.

“Jesus…” muttered Carroll.

“How did you know my name!?” asked officer Logan, forgetting that it was printed on the front of his uniform.

Forcing his voice to a deep, grumbly point of ridiculous Harvey reached back, swinging the rugged laptop back their way. “We, along with our third man, just finished engaging a supervillain and his criminal gang. The gang is in custody back in Asbury Park but their boss is about to crash to earth near Holcomb Pond in Sentinel Range. We need an escort.”

Logan immediately realized it was the same kind of laptop used in his own cruiser and began seeing these two weirdos as less of a threat. “I know where that is but it’s two hours away at the speed limit then it’s just … game trails…”

“We have forty-five minutes until touchdown. Can you get us there?”

Somehow, some way, Harvey managed to inject such certitude, such veritas into his voice that the trooper, perhaps not the most experienced in the Patrol, felt compelled. “We’re gonna find out. C’mon!”

Running back to his cruiser Logan didn’t flinch as the RV tore out behind him, it was slow and sluggish compared to a police car after all. Passing them quickly he waved a hand, indicating that they follow. “This … this is crazy! Harvey!” Carroll whimpered.

“I know!” shouted Harvey as the needle approached one-hundred. He’d paid for an engine upgrade but never expected to put the big monster at such a speed. It felt dangerous. “But this is ideal, it really is!”

“In less than an hour a six or seven-hundred pound man will be striking wet ground. We’re not shaving more than half the drive time off, with or without this cop.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“And he says game trails?”

“How far off the road is it?”

Studying the map, tracing the latitude and longitude provided, Carroll grit his teeth. This wasn’t his forte at all. “Uh … I dunno. Less than a mile, I guess. River Road, East but your contact said it was East past the pond.”

“Care. It’s fine. Look at that shit.” Nodding forward Harvey indicated their police escort. Law’s on our side, brother. We’re good.”

—-

For Carroll the trip was terrifying. Every significant curve had threatened to capsize the top-heavy RV. His hair, having already been refusing to calm down, now gripped the entire trap door in the bottom of the RV, tentacles pressing on the asphalt any time they started to lean and terrifying other motorists. Still, he kept outwardly calm or, at least, seemed calm if you didn’t pay attention to his breathing.

They’d been driving for forty-five minutes. At this rate, according to the GPS, they were actually cutting forty minutes off the trip but, still, that was about a half hour of a supervillain laying there recovering or, worse, dying. Carroll couldn’t help but feel concern. “Harv … you think the Big guy can survive falling from low orbit?”

“Who cares!?” cackled Harvey, fully engrossed in his manic episode. Glancing over, however, he saw real conflict on his partner’s face. “I, uh, Care … he’s a bad guy.”

“Yeah, a criminal, I know. But … I looked into it. There’s not like a whole bunch of gangland killings associated with him. He mostly just … scared people into compliance. If the androids were considered people by law he’d be a kidnapper but I don’t think a judge would agree to that.”

“Let it go, man. You can’t think like that. No, not every supervillain is pure evil but they’re criminals.”

“Nobody sentenced him to death, Harvey.”

If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

“Yeah, well, he tried to kill you and he tried to kill me. I’m not sorry Johnny threw him into space, Care. I’m just not. I’m just happy Johnny couldn’t really throw him in the sun! This way we have evidence that we did something.”

A flash and a streak hit the sky, tracing a line almost straight down to the North and East. Striking the ground, a dark cloud could be seen to form and settle slowly. “There he is.” said Carroll. Did that look survivable to you?” In front of them Officer Logan’s cruiser wavered in its lane before accelerating back up to almost one-hundred miles per hour.

Harvey thought hard about what to say in reply. “I’m gonna say yes, Carroll. He fell from the height of a weather balloon, not an asteroid, okay? The force wouldn’t even be that ridiculous in the g–fuck.” The shock of the distant impact hit them, a faint sensation vibrating up through the RV’s chassis, but the fact that they could feel it at all was incredible. “The force would be less, okay, if he weren’t so invulnerable.”

“Hope so. I’d rather have a live apprehension than a corpse as the reason I get my license.” said Carroll. “At least give the man a chance to pay his debt to society.”

—--

Reaching a roadsign that stated “Holcomb Pond Trail”, a packed clay patch where nothing grew on the side of the road, the wannabe heroes parked behind their police escort. Walking back from his cruiser to them he shouted: “I called in backup, told ‘em we might need a helicopter. Life Flight. They’re probably twenty minutes out and the copter not far behind them.”

“Well done, officer. So you know the area?”

“Yeah, my pop and me came out here a few times. The pond’s pretty easy to see, probably twenty minutes of walking.”

“I think we can speed that up. Mandusa?” Bouncer clapped his hand on his partner’s shoulder.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. I can carry us. Uh, Logan, is it? This is gonna be … a little weird for you.”

Hair whipping out to become huge, more than twenty feet across, Mandusa gripped his partner and the officer before raising up and moving rapidly through the trees. “Whoa! No shit, weird!” shouted Logan. The trail beneath them hardly mattered and the height afforded them let them all see the crater even before the pond. Raised above the wetland plain surrounding, depressed, deep down into the earth, the crater was fully a hemisphere. A titanic bowl the size of about two-hundred fifty football fields.

“Ho-holy shit. Why’s it so big?” asked Logan as they climbed the lip of the crater. It was a fraction of its diameter tall, less than fifty feet, but enough to be impressive.

“This is what happens when something falls from space, officer Logan. At least when it doesn’t break up at all.” They reached the lip of the crater and started moving down. Dissipating heat created a slight updraft and the soil at the top was dry, becoming more wet, more like the surrounding landscape as they descended.

“Steamy.” muttered Carroll. “I wonder how hot he got coming down.

“No idea.” replied Harvey. “You could see fire as he fell. Just the atmosphere burning, I guess. Sure as hell came down faster than he went up.”

Static hit both of them as a familiar voice was heard. “Man, where am I? I think I at least see houses down there.”

Carroll was the first to reply. “Jo–, uh, Megadude! Can you hear us?”

“What’s going on? Are you … do you guys have those hidden superhero earpieces?” Officer Logan seemed instantly smitten, even more impressed by this than Harvey’s previous big superhero act.

Scoffing, with a tone intended to make it seem like it’s no big deal, Bouncer cocked his head towards Logan. “Yeah, basically.” then, directly forward. ”Megadude! We read you! Where are you?” Finally, using his suit’s eye tracking, he opened verbal commands. “Cut external sound.”

“Dudes, uh, I got no idea. It’s dark but there’s lights under me.”

“What?” Carroll stopped cold in his spider-crawl down the crater wall.

“Keep moving Carroll and let me talk. Nobody without an earpiece can hear me right now.” Carroll rubbernecked, nodding to his partner. “Maybe talk to the cop. Johnny, if it’s dark but you’re hearing us you have to be off the eastern most point of Canada or something. Keep going west, try to home in on us.”

“Home in how? And what’s ‘West’?”

Not expecting such a helpless response Harvey sputtered for a moment. “I … okay. Listen, I’m going to activate a beacon, okay? Just … fly, listen to how far apart the beeps are. If it’s faster, right direction, slower, wrong direction. Got it?” Cutting all audio momentarily Harvey set the beacon and the beeping began.

“Oh yeah! Whoa, I hear the thing. Weird!”

“Great. Yeah, hey, you gotta meet us and fast, okay? When the cops ask us why the hell the supervillain we’re apprehending fell from space and destroyed a giant patch of land I need you telling them how it was the only way to stop him, okay?”

“Huh? Villain. Wait … that big guy with the white hair came down?”

“Yes, Johnny. Of course he did.”

“But I threw him in the sun!”

“No, I … Johnny, you must not realize this but the sun is very, very far away. Years away! You cannot throw people in it!”

“I can’t?”

“No!” Still silent to the outside, Harvey still shuddered and twitched as he shouted and failed in his efforts as he tried not to gesture.

Officer Logan glanced over and Harvey struck his own chest, as if trying to clear something out of it. Carroll spoke up: “is that fog down there?”

This got Logan’s attention. “Yeah, I guess. Or … with the heat, steam maybe?”

Harvey kept on. “Listen, never do that again and please, you have to get here or our plan to be real heroes fails. Got it?”

It took a moment but, finally, Johnny came back. “I’m sorry, Harvey.”

“Tell me you got it, Johnny. I need this.”

“Yeah … got it. Beeps are getting faster. I’ll, uh, see you soon I think.”

“Uh, Bouncer … you seeing this?” and Carroll pointed down to the dark shape taking form beneath the cloud cover.

Opening up external audio again Harvey allowed those around him to hear him again. “I do.” Scanning, his helmet sensors identified their target; the Big Original Gangsta, back in their sights again.

“Is he … he’s alive, right?” asked Carroll, face etched with concern.

“I don’t have an X-ray or anything to look at the fat wad’s heart beating from a distance, Mandusa. We gotta get closer.”

“Mandusa? Wait, that’s your name?” Officer Logan looked over at Carroll, stifling a laugh.

“Yes, officer. Please remember that when you’re filling out your report. We’ll need that to get our license.”

“Ohhh no way. You boys aren’t even licensed? Sure, I can help you out. Normally we don’t see nothing like this out here in the stix, y’know? Signing off on your license seems like a fair trade, gettin’ to see all this shit. Oh … and look at him.”

Finally, touching down at the bottom of the bowl, they found the B.O.G., reverted to his normal state, face down in a pool of water just a few feet deep. “Shit, Bouncer, he’s drowned!” Dropping both his passengers on their feet, Carroll quickly spider-walked to the giant, rolling him to his back and pulling him to the edge of the pool.

“Yeah, uh, we’re below the waterline now, boys. Here, I’m no EMT but I talk with them enough.” Logan stepped in, grabbing the Big one by the neck. “Hm. Rubbery and really really thick. Man.” Squeezing tight, grunting, like he was trying to strangle B.O.G., Logan held very still.”

“What’s he?”

“Shh.” Bouncer silenced his partner.

“There it is! Our boy’s got himself a pulse.”

“Why’d you have to choke him to know that?” asked Carroll.

‘Well he’s a big, bulletproof type, right? Fell from space and no visible damage. If you don’t compress a vein you won’t feel a pulse, son. Thought everybody knew that.”

“Yeah, Mandusa, everybody knows that.” growled Bouncer, aggravated at Carroll’s level of concern.

Meanwhile Logan was on his handheld radio. “Listen, I know the reception is shit, but it’s not that hard. Make sure the Life Flight has the attachment for flying horses, okay?” the response was garbled but Logan seemed to get it. “So you did hear! Yes, I’m serious. These boys didn’t tell me how big their supervillain was. Yes, I’m lookin’ at him. Big, fat, black guy with white dreads.”

“Did he have to specify black?” muttered Carroll. “Ow!” he then shouted, having been popped in the arm by Bouncer.”

“Oh, hey, uh … look! Our third partner has arrived!” Pointing up, Bouncer indicated a speck in the sky, approaching from the East. Barely visible, but Harvey no doubt had devices tracking him now that he was within range.

“Guys!” shouted Megadude as he came within earshot, a blast of air striking everyone as he stopped abruptly in the air just above them. “I’m so glad to see you! Every time I went down I was somewhere else and nobody understood me!”

“It’s okay, Megadude. Look, we were just going over things with our new friend, Highway Patrol Officer Logan, here.” said Bouncer as he gestured towards the officer.

But Logan was barely aware, examining B.O.G. up close. “What’s that? Oh, hey, the flying guy we were waiting on.” As he turned the wake of wind washed over the massive supervillain and his eyes shot open. “I was just checking out our friend’s outfit. Expensive stuff; like armor but it only protects itself. Ack!”

Shocked by the sudden motion officer Logan suddenly found himself looking down at the quivering mass known as the Big Original Gangsta. Clutching at the collar of the officer’s shirt, they made eye contact and Logan was sure he was about to die. Then– “Oh, Lord, what did they do to me!? It hurts! It hurts so much!”

The three heroes exchanged looks, in shock as much that their quarry was alive as they were in his show of weakness. “Now hold on!” shouted Mandusa. “Don’t play the victim! You tried to kill me!”

“I’m broken! Everything’s broken! I can feel it!” whined the giant.

Logan looked back at them and, struggling, pried his hand off one finger at a time. “Sir, you need to not move. Life Flight is on its way, okay?”

“Oh! God bless you, officer! These men, they came to my place of business and they … beat me savagely! I was helpless!”

“Place of business?” asked Logan, lip curling, as he backed away.

“Why yes, of course! My name is Tyrone Heathrow, owner of Heathrow cleaners as well as many other businesses around New Jersey. Surely you’ve heard of me.”

“Can’t say as I have.”

“Well … I mean, I’m a member of the Chamber of Commerce as well as the Fraternal Order of Police. Surely, if I could just speak to your commander…”

“Sir … are you aware you’re in Upstate New York? Like, the wild part, with all the parks? Almost Canada?”

Now Tyrone’s eyes flashed open extra wide. “Why … I’ve been kidnapped! Officer, you must arrest these men!”

“Cut the crap. I watched you fall from space, big man. I know you’re Altered and I know you’re crimelord Big Original Gangster.”

“Fucking pig!” shouted Tyrone, sounding much more like his Big self. “I’ll … aahhh! No! Oh Lord! Why!?” as his mass started to shift, to change him from man-ball to hulking brute, he snapped back to his natural form. “It really is all broken! All my bones…”

“Wish I’d left him face down in the drink. Asshole.” muttered Carroll.

“Uh, cop-man?” chimed in Megadude, and Officer Logan turned to him for the first time. “Just so you know, I didn’t mean for this to happen. He was just, y’know, really strong and stuff. I flew up with him ‘cause I couldn’t hardly stop him.”

“Yes!” broke in Bouncer. And we were considered about bystanders. I mean, a heavy hitter like Tyrone here, a Brick of the first order.

“And fuck you B.O. man! God, how you stink! I don’t deserve this! Oh, everything’s grindin’ together!”

“Anyway, the one big advantage our man Megadude had was flight. So he cleared the main danger off the field. Unfortunately Tyrone here fought free in the upper atmosphere. And, as you can see, traveled not just across state lines but almost across the border into Canada.”

“State lines? Damn. Damn, we’ll have to get the feds involved. Hell.” Breaking away Logan got on his radio again.

A flash in the sky, like another shooting star, and a figure was seen to descend. No falling super criminal this time though. No, but, instead, a very famous face.

“Oh no.” muttered Johnny, cringing back.

“I … Bouncer? Is that who I think it is?” asked Carroll.

“Yes it is, Mandusa. We’ve finally hit the big time for real.”

“Holy shit!” shouted Officer Logan, the last to notice the new arrival. “It’s the Solar fucking Scion!”