Chapter 5

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Mom always said she wanted a smart son.

But was born a beautiful one.

On the other hand - who would have thought that all this could be real!. I was applying for a job as a delivery boy! Not a mystery-thriller hero!

I wrapped myself more tightly in the blanket, tucked my knees together, cursing my belly, and stared again at the bags against the far wall. The ring and the cape were next to them. Something had to be done about all this.

The worst thing is that I kind of understand that all this really happened. But what I really miss is a note from the psychiatrist and the test results saying that there were no hallucinogens in my blood. Although it is possible to calm down in a much simpler way, all I have to do is go to my phone, open the app, and slide the switch to "on".

I've done that before and the worst part was that with the warranty on, I didn't want to turn it off at all. Why? I remember that it is very unpleasant, and besides, everything is clear - it's for my good!

The second time I turned it off by inertia - I had to activate the ring, didn't I? And then I sat on the floor again, squealing sadly. It wasn't so agitated any more, it was just a bit of a shock... again...

I turned it back on, caught my breath, remembered that I hadn't activated the ring again, and called myself an idiot. I turned it off.

I put everything by the wall, climbed on the bed, wrapped myself in a blanket, and there I sit so beautiful. How can a phone app affect a real... more or less... person? I guess if I turn on the warranty now, the thought would be in the vein of "nanobots" and "Hypno-exposure." But without it, the only thought is, did you sign the contract? Did you sign it? And now your little soul is being controlled by demons!

And the phone is just a magic object.

Brrrh, what nonsense, I bought it myself.

Maybe I accidentally got a sample from the secret labs?

Yeah, and the customer with the wolf face was from the labs, too? And the woman who gave me rotten food, too? Although the guy in that department did say something about hallucinogens. But how did I manage to get into all this?

It's one thing when everything happens in a manhwa with an ordinary Korean - his mother is sick, always, he has a younger sister who needs to be enrolled into the most expensive university for some reason. Community college is too difficult for her.

It's quite different when everything happened in the home country. Casual passerby, well, I could have chosen a different delivery, couldn't I? Without the system?

Or... are they all like that?!

Uh-huh, and they fight. Losers are taken out of town in bags, which is why they are so big. Although I would argue about "taken out," we do carry some "meat," don't we?

I sighed again. The hallucinogens aren't going to help me cram a block of six 1.5L bottles plus five 1L juice packets into that bag, and that's only half the order! But it did go in, didn't it? And, remarkably, no one around here was surprised - were they also taking out a warranty? Consequently, I am dealing with a phenomenon. And my show is not "comic", but "supernatural".

At least it's not "snuff horror".

The phone bleeped, and I jumped in fright, but it was just a reminder of the mandatory wearing of a mask by all couriers. Everyone wears one anyway, some around their necks, some on their sleeves, what more do I need to remind them? Okay, just sitting around wasn't an option, either.

Standing up, I approached, very carefully, the bag. How do I check its real capacity and carrying capacity? And if I had to check it, what would it get me? An ordinary beginner's artifact... what will happen if someone from the outside finds it? Nothing will happen, there were a lot of people sitting in the hall, but I was the only one who saw the sign. And I was the only one who saw the spider under the tree.

Hmm, but I only saw the spider in the app and then sign in person. How so?

I was hesitant to wiggle my hand over the artifacts, but I made up my mind and took the ring. I had been carrying the bag for two days, and nothing extra had grown, so I could move on to the next stage. After convincing myself of the reasonableness and necessity of another idiotic act, I first examined the ring from all sides, finding nothing. Then I pointed the "scanner" at it.

Teleport ring: 178/200

Would you like to activate it?

Yes/no

I'm about to activate it, and I'll be teleported somewhere. I'm not so beautiful! Putting it back, I checked my bags and cape again. No change, so it's permanent. At the sight of the bags I suddenly had an idea - if they could really hold something bigger than themselves, then why not check on the bags themselves? One bag into another and see what happens!

That's how the end of universes comes when the bottom staff starts playing around with the equipment. I'll check tomorrow.

I took a package of puffs and an apple out of my bag and looked out into the hallway. It was quiet, no one was there. On the wall, two doors away from mine was a plan of the dormitory, and I followed it into the kitchen, where I found an amusing message:

Whoever steals utensils from this house shall be cursed!

Well, okay, you've convinced me. I won't take any chances.

While the kettle was boiling, empty thoughts flashed through my head with no content. Before, I would have thought I was tired, but now I don't even know. What if there are thought parasites sucking everything out here? Or is it the effects of the shock? Or maybe the fact that I switched the warranty on and off a few times has damaged my mind? Come on, nothing shakes the spirit of the person who went through "Dark Souls" on the keyboard!

The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

On my way back to my room, I remembered something and looked up at the stairs. At least two more floors. At least six more floors in a two-story house. Okay.

3-in-1 coffee again, food from the store again. Dinner at home now, there's meat and a delicious side dish! No, I won't cry... I'm an adult now.

As usual, the food calmed me down.

I laid everything out next to each other on the bed and began to study the app with a clear eye. To begin with, it turned out that the navigation was much more extensive than what I had used under warranty. It was a pity that most of the tabs were simply inactive.

So, let's say - I thought the app was glitchy at first, but it only comes on at certain points. Like what? Well, I took the bag and it started working stable. So next to the system items?

Nope. The first day I ran like that, and it worked! But it only turned on when I approached the addressee. So the addressee is part of the system, too? And all these obscure people with obscure things are somehow obscurely involved in all this?

Let's start at the beginning - I carry strange things to strange addresses, and I do it in strange ways. And the weird thing is, with the warranty on, I think everything that is happening is perfectly normal, even finding plausible explanations? What should I assume?

That Daddy would be sure to pick on me if I told him that I earned some of my money delivering magical ingredients to witches.

On the other hand, the witch was caught by men who knew him. What does that mean? That he knows a hell of a lot of people, but I already know that. Besides, people are working with us on the delivery who don't see the writing on the wall and don't notice that a third of their colleagues have legs like satyrs. "They Live," it turns out, is a semi-documentary. The parent has nothing to do with witchcraft, and he's a very down-to-earth person. Besides, how do you prove that miracles exist to someone who can't see them?

Especially since they can affect the mind. Muggle scare spells, that's for sure.

I leaned back against the wall, twirling the ring in my fingers. No, magic and all that is great, but in half an hour and with only one little tantrum, I just accepted it all? Even hysterical, if to think about it, more along the lines of "how dare they manipulate me!" than "geez, I could have been eaten!"

I think it was all because of cartoons. My parents watched the Soviet ones, the realistic ones. I got stories like the one about the revived utensil that sank to the bottom and worked in fast food. I grew up knowing that if you tap on the bricks with a magic wand, it will open a doorway to a magical world!

How can you worry about reality after that? It's a habit from childhood, there's nothing you can do about it.

Or are the walls just soaked in a sedative medicine?

Although, of course, it's all a bit stressful.

The warranty is with me as long as the phone is around. But it's possible to step away accidentally, isn't it?

I tried to remember when the phone was out of range... I couldn't. Now you can go out in the street without your underpants and it's okay, but you can't do it without your phone, you start to panic.

That was a clever idea.

Sighing (alas, not hard enough - for a heavy sigh you need five or six more pies) I continued to study the application. Almost immediately I got the "System-level insufficient" message.

Insufficient, you say?

I looked at the ring, then put it on my little finger, reasoning that I could live without it in case of emergency. I pointed to the camera.

You have been assigned the status "D1" - new tasks are available!

I scratched the back of my head, thinking first that I should take a shower, then I started to think. I didn't activate it, did I? Just put it on and the status went up? I hate games without a manual.

I take it off - "C2", I put it on - "D1".

I do the same, but cover the camera with my finger. The result is the same, the changes are displayed regardless of whether the app sees me or not. Of course, everyone knows that phones eavesdrop on us. But that they also control us with extra-sensory perception is news.

Consequently, it can be considered proof that the application responds to changes... in reality... and, yes, it affects reality itself as well.

Where do they give out rewards for revealing a world conspiracy?

I spit on caution, and I turned on the warranty, and almost nothing changed. Except that half the tabs were gone, the one I wasn't good enough for. I looked at the ring and tapped the back of my head against the wall, turned off the sedative, and poked my finger into the screen.

Yes.

System item activated!

The avatar man caught the ring flying by, put it on his finger (the slot on the side immediately went dark), and then pointed to the ground in front of him, where a blue spot appeared. Then he also pointed somewhere in the distance, an orange one flashed there, and he waved his hand at me, stepping demonstratively on the blue one. Clap, he materialized on the orange, and then a second later, clap, clap, clap again.

Do you mean this thing here is a portal gun?!

Are I in heaven and my dreams are finally coming true!

I jumped up and without thinking, I put the ring on my index finger, then poked it on the floor in front of me... and yes, there was a blue spot, about five centimeters long. It was like shining a flashlight, weak and in the daytime. Okay, where to now, over there by the wall. Poke - orange, of the same luminosity, almost invisible even in not the brightest room.

And step...

So someone was really being sacrificed there?

It turns out that if you bang your head against the wall, you get some sensible ideas.

I rubbed my forehead and stared at the ceiling, and made a mental note to do magic tests next time, thinking about the consequences. Killing myself against the wall at the beginning of my superhero career was too much. On the other hand, this shake-up... literally... I just needed to finally come to my senses.

To hell with it! What's more important is...

So you're saying that catgirls exist?!

I wanted to jump up, but all I managed to do was roll over on my side with a grunt, then rise carefully, waiting out the turbidity in my head. Yeah, if I jumped like that in front of everyone, there would be bad rumors. Which meant what?

So I need a cloak of invisibility. Or a hat, or something, so no one would see me bouncing around town. Of course, a messenger's cape alone would make the eyes look away... hey, and really, who even looked where they go after the order. No, though, it's just psychological... or is it? Okay, we'll figure it out.

On my way to bed, I left the ring on the table just in case.

So, tell me, dear app, what kind of item is it anyway? And why didn't I see in the warranty that most system "items" have a hidden characteristic?

Okay, a teleport ring, one hundred meter jump, two hundred charges. "Reloading possible at the order desk" - and it only costs a thousand points. Expensive, man! On the other hand a finger here, a finger there, not in a hurry - three seconds to activate, a hundred meters at a time, the total... Great, now I can take a stroll at a hundred kilometers an hour. Or run faster than a race car. But still slower than an airplane. Really, why would I want to rush anywhere?

Bleh - it popped up again that new tasks were available. I have not yet had time to deal with the "С-class", and already pull me on the "E"! Do they have such a shortage of couriers?!

Or...

I looked at the ring.

Or a very large turnover for unnatural reasons.

Suddenly I thought I should call my mom because she's worried.

I couldn't, my phone didn't see the network, only the courier app worked. Am I in another world right now? Or in a subspace pocket? Or do they just turn off all communication here, throwing the courier out into the street? And there they sort of unobtrusively send him an offer to work for another hour or two...

No way!

After visiting the restroom, I returned to my room, looking out the window at the green and very shady courtyard. No sounds, nothing to distract a tired worker. I wanted to know everything, to try everything, to be everywhere, but my gut told me it would be better to do it tomorrow. The courier has a lot of time, so we'll figure them out in the process. The ring gives you a chance to escape from somewhere in time if you get a client from the ogres, so thank you, unknown colleague, for such a setup. You're a lifesaver, and I'll thank you on occasion!

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