Chapter 13

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"This is unbearable!"

"You agreed to it, so work."

"Pervert! Do you even know that that's not what girls are for?"

"Bend over... more. Hey, are you going to bend at all, what did I pay you for?"

"I'm already bent out! I can't do it more!"

"And you do your best. And look at me with a smile, I want to see the joy on your face!"

The girl snorted angrily and sagged, and then grinned her fangs in such a promising smile that my phone almost fell out of my hands. But it didn't, so I continued the photoshoot.

It's not every day you get to shoot a real cat lady stretching in bed.

Actually, the brothel was last in line. I wanted to check the prices of spices first. I guess it was the history lessons and the memory of the bland porridge from the local diner. But then I had to admit that higher-class places might be better with pepper, and who knows how much more fragrant spices are in demand in a world full of non-human races. A Beastman with his sense of smell wouldn't like pepper, and an elf might die... probably.

Condoms were also on the list. I put them at the bottom of the list, and only because the writers of the post-apocalypse are convinced that they're indispensable. So I went to the brothel to find out about direct supplies.

Already in the place, looking at a couple of customers and five girls, I realized... if you can still find something for a halfling man, it's harder to find something for a minotaur. Individual orders are expensive, and there's no profit in it. And then a catgirl came down the hall! That's when I knew what I had to do!

To my joyful cry of "This one!" it was replied that Mistress Mira was leaving and could only spare fifteen minutes, so if I had enough... The implication, apparently, was that I would proudly pay double for an hour at once. I'm supposed to be an overconfident young man by my age, right? That's okay, I'm not proud, five minutes was enough for me. I wanted pictures of an exotic woman, I got them!

Although, my money in this institution was only enough to look at.

And judging by what she was wearing now, it was the right choice.

"Isn't the outfit too warlike?"

Mira (I wanted so badly to call her "Mir-r-nya-ah") tapped her finger on the scabbard, which had an iron sign attached to it. I took a picture of it, too: the divided shield had four parts. A sword, a staff, a book, and a bow.

"So you're an adventurer..."

"Yeah."

"And you come here for fun?"

"And for money. You can make some extra money if you don't have orders."

She was getting dressed, and I was filming this fascinating process at the same time.

"And what if the client is unpleasant?"

"I'll kill him."

Well, that makes sense.

As I was sorting pictures, I didn't notice when Mira, having completed her outfit, came up to me and peeked into my phone... put her arm around me... stroked my shoulder... Then the girl's hand rested on my chest, but before I had time to imagine something appropriate to the situation, I was taken by the throat and my back was pressed into the wall:

"You only paid by watching!"

"I am!"

"You made my pictures!"

Mira half-sniffed and half-purred, and I would have been frightened... if she'd pulled out a weapon. She didn't even let her claws out.

"You know what I do with clients like that?"

She even tried to lift me, but for once the weight was working for me. So I clung to her paw, lifted my head higher, and wheezed:

"Claim your share?"

"Half!"

"Ten percent."

Mira froze, and then hissed as she tried to pick me up again. Again it didn't work, and she just kicked me to the floor. And then she sat on top of me and purred: "Half, no less!"

"Here... great service... I didn't order this."

You can learn a lot about yourself at times like this. For some reason, I couldn't be afraid of this girl's fluffy fur and flattened ears. She jumped up from me and pressed me to the floor with her knee. I had to make a concession:

"Ten percent. Twenty if you bring a female friend."

The adventurer thought about it and suggested: "Ten friends at once and you give it all?"

"Neck... let go..."

Her eyes are beautiful, amber.

Mira let go of her neck but still had her hand on the chest. It's perfectly feline behavior to choke a mouse, then let it go and wait for it to start fluttering again. Okay, I'll flutter: "The realization is mine, the delivery is mine, the processing of the photos is mine - there's no normal light, no ambiance! And you want half at once?"

"I want!"

"Suck it. You get a tenth of what I make from selling pictures."

She tapped her finger on her lips thoughtfully and suggested: "Are you going to sell something else along with them and make money on it? Half!"

"Just out of respect for your beauty and perseverance, fifteen percent."

"Are you looking for death?"

I carefully moved her knee to press in the right place, settled back, and explained: "I am looking for an adequate companion."

She immediately grinned her fangs, let her claws out, and slowly swept them over my face: "Maybe ten is your share. Besides, if I just kill you, I have nothing to lose."

"Well, you'll lose an unknown amount of money that you could have earned with my help. And you'll start to wonder how much stuff you could have bought with that money."

Removing her claws, she tapped her finger on her lips again and stretched out: "You're too calm. So is there something up your sleeve?"

"Like you don't have any?"

She took her knee off me, which was kind of disappointing, and stood up. Then she bent down, pulled me to my feet with a jerk, and shook me off: "So thirty percent and ten percent for the friend?"

"Fifteen for the ones where you are, and ten from the pictures I take with your help. If you're a model, that's one line of income, and if you're an agent, that's another."

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

"All right. But let's make a contract on a guild artifact."

"Your place or mine?" I flipped through the app, opened the tab with the coat of arms of "merchants" and demonstrated, and then I warned her: "You just do not count on a big income," she grinned in earnest, and I quickly corrected. "I mean, you're certainly pretty, but a lot of competition, it is popular and we have plenty of artists, better than me. I saw you and immediately realized that this is an opportunity! But any profit is the result of a lot of work, you know. There is no light, no interior, how do you want to compete with those who are engaged in such a thing for years? We have some serious work to do..."

I rambled my excuses at a pace, the girl's clamped ears straightened, and I exhaled softly. I had to watch my tongue. I could miss a moment for teleportation, you know.

I looked at Mira again and coughed: "By the way, now that we are partners..."

"Money first."

Fail, but it was worth a try.

We walked along the road, talking quite peacefully, though Mira didn't let go of my hand. I mean, from the outside it probably looked like she was hanging on me, but I was being escorted. Only when we had written down the terms on a sheet of paper, which we placed on an artifact box in the Guild of Adventurers, after which the treaty dissolved into thin air, did the girl let me go, even stroking my cheek with a wish: "Now go and make a lot of money for me!"

Then she turned and walked away, wiggling her hips. Oh, man, I forgot to take a picture of the best part! I wondered how her feet were made - like animal feet, but how does she walk like a human? Well, next time.

After confirming that there was now a permanent contract on the app and that the porcelain status progress bar was three percent full, I put my phone away and inquired of the foxy manager: "Where's the old junk sale here?"

"The trade of slightly second-hand, but quite worthy of an adventurer, is conducted in the Guild's warehouse, young lord."

Trade was already in full swing. There were plenty of people, non-humans, and strange creatures. There were about fifty different types on the table, but so far the struggle was over something I wasn't interested in. The first to haggle were the lots with the really high-quality items that the reputable buyers had come for. The prices were not outbid, even the goods were presented very briefly - the town is small, all their own, it is clear to all, who came for what. I, for example, did not target the precious weapons and shiny armor, and the baskets, which piled outright junk. For one thing, there isn't much money, and for another, where would I put a magic bow? Even if it is enchanted to be resistant to water spells? I would like something simpler.

I stepped aside and unzipped the cloak, took a seat on the bench against the wall, opened the bag, and pulled out one of the two packs. I didn't really want to take anything with me when I hiked through unreal, though the apothecary asserted that the bag protected the contents. Rotten food would give you diarrhea, but what would happen to magically transformed food? Grow horns? I don't want it.

But going without food, not knowing where I was going to end up, was even scarier. So a "city" loaf, two sausages, an apple, and tea are poured into a bottle of mineral water. Spartan conditions, but where to go.

While there was a sluggish trade for some unusual sword, I leafed through fresh updates. But they wouldn't let me eat in peace: "Excuse me, dear colleague, for interrupting the meal. How much are you selling the bottle for?"

Next to me sat a man of the most amiable appearance, smiling in the most pleasant way. He was dressed, by the way, in a richly embroidered camisole, with a merchant's guild sign on his lapel. It was a gold badge. How did he recognize me, my "clay" only showed in the app?

I took a sip and looked at the bottle questioningly. It was an ordinary plastic bottle that I'd peeled the label off of.

"I don't know... I haven't traded that yet. If you compare it to auction items, how good is it?"

He, continuing to smile pleasantly, estimated: "Two, maybe three batches from the middle."

All the goods were laid out in a line. The top ones were separately on the tables, so you could walk up and look at them. The middle ones were on racks. The ones that interested me were drawers and baskets.

"How about from the end?"

"Four baskets of junk."

"Deal. You haggle. But there's one thing about this bottle, it's not from this world, at first," he nodded, understanding. "And secondly, it has been to a place of wild power. Perhaps it has. I can't vouch for its durability, nor its safety."

The merchant threw back the hem of his caftan and took out from his small purse on his belt a case with a magnifying glass. He looked carefully at the bottle on the bench (the glass began to glow in the process), smiled, and then nodded.

"Your point is correct, but I am interested in this product."

I only now realized that the three adventurers, standing with their backs to us, were somehow very still. Are they shielding a protected client from the gaze of competitors?

We shook hands. He had a tenacious grip and a calloused paw. I thought I was going to have to wait, but one of the guards walked over to the auctioneer, they whispered briefly, and the steward asked loudly: "Are there any bidders for lots thirty-first through thirty-fifth at one and a half percent of the starting price? No? Sold to the honorable Arcevash."

The baskets were brought to us, I moved the bottle to the buyer, we shook hands again, and I began to move the heroic junk into the bag. The merchant watched without interest as I piled a whole heap of goods into one relatively small bag. When he was sure that the deal was done and stood up, he smiled with superiority: "Colleague", you should not only ask your customers about the prices of your products!"

I silently found the second bottle in my bag, looked at Arcevash, twisted the cork, and took a sip. The merchant smiled even more pleasantly and sat back down: "On the other hand, at your young age, you already have such a trading ability! You are on your way to the platinum rank, and soon I will be telling everyone that I saw you at the beginning of your brilliant journey. I'll check it out, okay?"

Luck, my luck is definitely developed. I wanted to eat in the yard so no one would disturb me - who would see my precious bottle? I calculated on one basket, but I got four.

While the guards were covering us with their backs, we agreed that a share of the sale of the second "flask of flexible glass" would be waiting for me in the guild cashier's office. I was pleased to see another three percent increase in level and noted with some surprise that my level in Delivery had also increased, I was now a "Messenger, 5 lv". I'll be twenty by retirement, no less.

Before I put the phone away, I glanced around the crowd of vendors. As expected, there were plenty of disembodied among the adventurers. Horns, hooves, wings, and tails, as well as some ghostly armor, ghosts hanging over the shoulder, and other wonders for every taste. One guy, in particular, seemed interesting, now bargaining for some kind of helmet: his "second" arms and legs were made of twisted mist tails, which made him look really weird in the scanner.

"Is something wrong?"

The merchant and his partner continued to smile pleasantly, apparently in anticipation of the miraculous appearance of the third bottle. I only shrugged and turned the screen toward him. His smile twisted, and he quickly hissed at one of the bodyguards, grabbed my arm, and pointed to the other. The bodyguard, a shoulder-length, green-skinned half-orc, looked into the scanner and grinned, and started making his way toward the "twisted" one.

The rest was a bit of a shock: without a word, the half-orc clapped the adventurer on the shoulder, grabbed him, turned him toward himself, and thrust his broad dagger right between the victim's collarbones. And then with a jerk, he broke the body of the "twisted" up to the waist.

There was no blood. Only the stench of something rotten, the body of the victim of the sudden attack fell to the floor...

And above it was left standing already in the flesh of what I thought was a virtual rendering.

"Demon! To arms!"

Arcevash moved quickly toward me, wrapping one arm around my shoulders and holding the other out in front of him, and a hemisphere of bluish fire covered us. Other shields flashed in the hall, and some cried out in terror and ran for the exit, some shouted incantations, and an ax and knives and a bench were thrown at the demon, but he dodged, jumping from side to side and waving his long arms in the process. One adventurer was unlucky and another swing went through his body. A piece of something translucent ended up in the demon's paw, and the victim collapsed without even a cry.

It was getting hot, literally, because the fire shield was enclosing us in a kind of oven. It might be safe, but it was uncomfortable. I pulled my bag up and snagged the strap, and I put my arm around my colleague, too, then poked my feet, pointed my finger toward the street in the open door, and stomped on the teleport spot.

Everyone's falling for me today, but Mira is somehow nicer.

"Excuse me, colleague."

"Marius."

"Very nice to meet you!"

We jumped up and looked in the direction of the guildhouse. The fight was heating up, the city guards were running past, some gray-bearded man in a mage's robe appeared in the teleport slam, and there was the clatter of hooves. Not a rider, but a centaur, in the truest sense of the word, rushing past with spears in each hand. I looked at the horse's croup and thought, automatically, that I should find out how centaur ladies wore bras. Only on human breasts or on the horse's body, too?

Yeah, I shouldn't have gone to the brothel.

"I don't think we can do anything to help them."

"I agree."

"Then, dear friend, let us each go about our business."

"Yeah, have a nice day."

He turned his head, trying to find me, and I just jabbed my finger under the feet, then to the side. No, let the heroes fight the demons, and the couriers have to deliver. I did my job, which was to give them a target. I also learned that not everything that's not embodied is worth looking at. Yeah, well, I'd been warned about that...

Buzz.

System approval raised to E-4

I wondered if it was the merchandise in my bag or a chance encounter with a demon that had caused it, and then I dashed for the exit. I'd had enough of miracles; I'd bought the goods, I'd had my fun, and now I was going home, to my cozy room. I'm not looking for magic flowers, I'm not selling anything, I'm going home! I'll stay home and watch soap operas for a day. Or even two days!

But by the twentieth jump, when the city walls were already out of sight, I calmed down a bit. Yeah, that was close. Who knows if the messenger's cloak would protect me from the demon's touch. But I got away in time, with a profit. It's okay, Marik, it's not great, but it's very...

Buzz.

I looked up at the sky. Maybe I should turn off my phone. I'll sleep in the woods, or I'll hop over to the inn and sleep there, and in the morning, when everything calms down...

Buzz.

Prepared to curse in advance, I checked my phone.

The event is available!

Reward - x2 on all system missions for five days!

I have a bad feeling about this.

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