“At least you have time,” Alice said. “If you had procrastinated for a year and she said you had a month left to live, I would have beat the shit out of you.”

I winced. “Yeah… that would have been, uh, not the best.”

Alice paused as she turned away from glaring at me to look at the streets we were passing. “Left on Maclay, then a right on the second stop sign.”

I followed her directions, which went from a main street thoroughfare to a suburb. I turned at the sign she indicated, which was a cul-de-sac. Despite it being the early afternoon, the street was packed with cars. “Where do I park?”

Alice hummed as she scanned up and down the street. “There,” she pointed at a driveway that only had one car in it.

“You sure? You know them?” I asked, but moving to park in the driveway.

“We own the whole block,” Alice said. “Tony’s wife is back east with her folks so no one will complain.”

“The whole block?” I asked as I put the car in park. We exited the car and I followed her to one of the bigger homes at the end of the street. The house was currently blasting upbeat music to the neighborhood.

“Well, all the houses on the street,” she said. “When the family moved here from Mexico in the fifties, we managed to snag a couple of houses, then kept grabbing more as people moved out.”

I glanced up and down the street. “I like that,” I said.

“Right?” She said with a big smile. She pointed to a house not far from where we had parked. “That’s my place. You can crash there if you start seeing double.”

She was alluding to my problem with alcohol. “Oh I’m not drinking tonight,” I said. “Once was enough.”

She shrugged, not convinced. “Sure.”

“Really,” I insisted.

“No yeah,” she said with an overly sincere nod. “Yeah, no I get it.”

“It was literally one time,” I muttered.

She elbowed me with a grin as we approached the front door (wide open) and stepped into a room from the eighties. Old cigarettes (and maybe new?) dominated my sense of smell, mixed with the faint scent of laundry detergent. From the foyer, I could see a hallway that had brown patterned, linoleum floors, dinged and dented wooden furniture, family pictures everywhere, and yellow drapes. An old ceiling fan struggled to operate, giving credit to the suggestion that it was moving air. Under the ceiling fan was a living room with old white carpet, a leather couch, a wood and glass coffee table, and three recliners circling a very large flat-screen TV. One of the recliners was occupied by a kid around nine years old, playing a shooter on a PlayStation.

“That’s Julio, my baby brother,” Alice murmured to me as we paused by the entrance to the living room. In a louder voice: “Julio! There’s a party happening! Turn that off and be social.”

“Food’s not ready yet!” Julio called back, not looking away from the screen.

Alice rolled her eyes and we continued. To the right was a stairway going up and a long hallway next to it that branched off several times into what I assumed to be bedrooms, bathrooms, and closets. To the left was a dining room that opened into a large kitchen, where several people were preparing food and chatting animatedly. Sitting at the dining table was an older woman talking with a woman of similar age, both smoking and using the same ashtray.

“Mamá!” Alice said, interrupting the conversation to hug the closer of the two women. There was a quick exchange of Spanish before they released each other. Alice’s mom turned and gave me a once-over, affecting astonishment.

“Is this him?” She asked, her accent slight.

“Mom, this is Colm,” Alice said, gesturing to me. “Colm, this is my mom, Maria.”

“Nice to meet you,” I said as I shook her hand. I was surprised by how strong her grip was.

“You as well,” she said, releasing my hand as she said something to Alice in Spanish that made her blush.

“Mamá!” She said, pretending to swat at her.

The other woman said something as well, making both of the older women burst into laughter, and making Alice blush more deeply.

“Colm, this is my aunt Carmen,” Alice said through her teeth. “Also stop speaking in Spanish, it’s rude.”

I raised my hand to Carmen with a little nod. “Pleasure,” I said.

“Just having a little fun with Alice, dear,” Carmen said with her own return wave. “We’re happy to have you.”

Alice pulled me away from the two older women, who resumed their conversation in Spanish. We crossed the dining hall and through an open sliding door into a big backyard. The grass was healthy and well maintained, there was a children’s play set off to the side (big enough for a pretty big slide) and several tables that looked like outdoor games. I spotted ping pong among them.

To the left was an absolutely giant grill that could probably handle an entire cow’s worth of beef. A man about my age was manning it, a beer in one hand and tongs in the other. There were several small groups of people mingling—

My instincts warned me of something approaching and I stopped following Alice. She turned and gave me an odd look. “Colm?”

Two young men suddenly appeared before I could react. One grabbed her from behind while the other one planted a big kiss on her forehead, then messed up her hair like you would a little kid. Once done, the man behind her let her go and both men ran away like kids who stole candy, hooting like they just pulled off the greatest prank. Alice started shouting in Spanish as she tried to restore her hair with mixed results. It still looked good, but also looked like she had been in a wind tunnel.

She sighed. “Those were the twins,” she explained. “I’ll introduce you to them if I don’t kill them.”

“Fair enough,” I said.

“Also,” she said, trying and failing to pat down her hair. “Why didn’t you warn me?”

“I was trying to parse what I was getting,” I said. “I’ve narrowed my future sight to warn me about danger, not… noogies.”

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

She gave up on her hair and took me over to the grill. She waved as people noticed her and called out greetings, but didn’t stop until the delicious smell of carne asada was blanketing the area like a—

“Is that tacos al pastor?” I blurted.

On the far left of the grill, which had been previously blocked by one of the groups of people, was a tower of meat. It wasn’t as big as the ones you’d find in a restaurant, but by god was seeing one on a grill amazing.

“You bet your ass,” said the man at the grill. His relation to Alice was clear, but I was surprised to see he was a good deal shorter than she was. In fact, so were the twins. “Obviously we have a man of taste, here.”

“Colm, meet Tony, my big brother,” Alice said. “Tony, Colm.”

He slid the tongs he was holding into the pocket of his apron and shook my hand with a strong grip. He was a handsome man, with strong features and wide eyes. He had a wide, expressive mouth like Alice (a trait they shared with their mom). He kept his beard trimmed into a sharp goatee.

“Pleased to meet you,” I said.

“Back at ya,” he said, snatching up his tongs and turning over a few pieces of meat. “Alice says you saved her life on that cruise last year.”

I shrugged. “It was a back-and-forth thing, really,” I said, not really sure how much Alice had told him about the incident.

“Did you really punch a shark?” He asked.

I laughed. “I did, knocked it the fuck out.”

“Get outta here.”

“Honest to God,” I said, raising a gloved hand.

Tony glanced at his sister with a raised eyebrow.

“I didn’t actually see it,” she said, turning to me with a raised eyebrow. “You also did way more impressive shit on that island.”

“Yeah, but nothing as instantly recognizable as punching out a shark,” I said.

Tony nodded.

I liked him.

“Hey, can you keep him out of trouble for a sec?” She asked Tony. “I want to say hi to abuelita.”

“Sure,” Tony said.

“What am I, a dog?” I asked.

“Nah, a dog would have a leash,” Alice said with a wink before hurrying off.

I watched her walk away for a moment before shrugging and turning to watch Tony cook.

“I’m guessing she didn’t tell you about how special our parties were?” Tony asked.

I had a sinking feeling in my stomach. “Someone’s not gonna push E on me, are they?”

Tony snorted out a surprised laugh. “No, nono, thank God. But you know about her gift?”

“Her mind juju?” I asked.

He nodded. “Did she tell you it’s hereditary?”

I opened my mouth in a silent “Ah.”

“Yup,” Tony said, giving me a quick glance. “She’s been basically holding up the mental equivalent of a ‘PLAY NICE’ sign above your head and slapping everyone’s fingers away, so to speak. She handed me the ball… but I’m a lot less polite than she is.”

He jerked his head in the direction of the closest group of people. Most of them were young, and right as my eyes landed on them one of them winced, dropping their drink. They rubbed their head and gave Tony a dirty look before turning to go to the drink station. I turned back to Tony, who waggled his eyebrows at me.

“You don’t have to worry none,” he said. “You got pretty good defenses up and the only people stupid enough to pry are the young ones, and between me, Mom, and Alice, they’ll learn to keep to themselves before dinner. But I figured you should know, just in case.”

“What’d you do to him?” I asked.

“Made him think about horse cock,” he said, a big shit-eating grin on his face.

I laughed. “That’s fucked up.”

He nodded affably and produced another beer from under the grill, offering it to me. I waved it off. He downed the rest of the one he had in his other hand and opened the new one, resuming cooking with the consummate skill of someone who regularly did it.

I wasn’t completely mollified by his assurances. I’m sure Alice meant well, but she should have told me she was taking me to a party full of telepaths. I would have refused to come, which is why she didn’t tell me. I’m going to have to have a talk with her about that.

Aside from the general anxiety of being surrounded by literal mind-readers, I began to have a good time. Alice came back and started to introduce me around. Only about half of the people here were of the Martinez family, the rest were friends or partners. I learned that anyone marrying into the family, man or woman, took the Martinez name. Lupe (Alice’s grandma) said it helped keep everyone connected, and with paperwork.

I also learned that I was a bit of a celebrity. Alice had been vague about my part in our ordeal on the cruise ship, simply saying that I was the only reason anyone had survived. I guess she was right, but it was also… I mean, my being on the ship was the reason everyone had been in danger. I didn’t correct her, as I didn’t want the conversation that would follow, but I found every opportunity to change the subject when it came up.

Then someone pointed out the Foosball table. I love table soccer. My favorite trick is the Booger Shot, so named because you pick (stop) the ball, roll it, and flick it (into the goal). I soon dominated the table. After an hour it became clear that I was too good and needed a handicap, so I played without a teammate. I no longer dominated, but I also still didn’t lose.

“Oh I’m going to put some hours in,” Gabe said, one of the twins. “Next fiesta you come to, I’m going to BEAT your ass.”

I laughed. “Hell yeah,” I said. “I look forward to it.”

Then food was ready.

Holy shit.

If I didn’t know Tony was already married, I might have proposed. I said so.

“Don’t give me all the credit!” Tony said from down the table. We were sitting at several folding tables that had been set end to end. “These fine ladies did all the prep work,” he gestured to his mother and aunt.

“Offer’s still on the table, ladies,” I said, shoving a taco in my mouth. That end of the table laughed loudly.

Conversation flowed in two languages up and down the table, and generally, people did their best to make me feel at home. And for a brief moment, while I was wolfing down many, many tacos, I forgot to be anxious. It was incredible.

But then of course something ruined it.

I heard raised voices coming from the direction of the house. I glanced at Alice, who shrugged and continued eating. I followed suit and tried to pick up the conversation I was having with Camille, Guapo’s (the other twin) girlfriend.

The voices didn’t die down, in fact, they got louder. Tony wiped his mouth and went to see what the fuss was about. By now most of the table was rubbernecking, trying to figure out the commotion was. I picked up that most people didn’t recognize the raised voices.

After several minutes Tony came back and started speaking with people. He’d asked a few questions and then move on. I noticed he was only talking to people with guests. Soon he made it to me.

“Hey, sorry to bug you, but there’s an older white couple outside saying they are looking for their son, a guy named Liam Hayes,” he said. “I keep telling them we don’t have anyone here by that name but they keep insisting…”

Tony's eyes went wide as I robotically got up from my seat, moving into the house. “Colm?” Alice asked, concern in her voice.

I walked through the house and into the front yard, where two people were standing in the small walkway the cars left room for in the driveway. They were of similar height. The woman had a long face, tired eyes and gray hair wrapped in a loose bun. She had a light orange cardigan over a white blouse and pastel red slacks. The man next too her was an inch or two taller, built like a retired rugby player. He was wearing a white polo shirt and tan slacks.

“Liam!” The woman cried, rushing forward to embrace me in a hug.

“Hi, Mom,” I said. I turned my gaze to the man. My father. My voice was flat with barely controlled anger.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”