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Donut 1288

The affector, who's colossal late-eighteenth-century proposal for a dairy-building in the shape of a tremendous robed milking cow - complete with giant, operable “cowbell” and a milk-jug watchtower balanced on its hump - never got built, idly wonders what's your best, or most important, or more coveted-by-your-peers physical feature.

(Note: For more information about the affector, see: Lemagny, J. C., Visionary Architects, Boullée, Ledoux, Lequeu (1968).)

The affector zeroes-in on your naked flesh, regardless of any clothes you might be wearing. Disregarding the others (the Director, who’s rather absent-minded at the moment, but with us nonetheless, so what if he’s going into rigor mortis as we speak; and the assemblage and the, um, exposed digestive system (EDS), I guess, which is looking reeeealllly weird like right now, by the way), the affector looks at you, and wonders. To him you’re naked, and he’s scanning your naked body from head to toe, searching, seeking, inquiring every square inch for any feature that could possibly make you a hero.

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The affector has often possessed particular somato-formal qualities rooted in either function or aesthetics. Her thirteen-inch waist, the result of much self-sacrifice and flagellation as a young girl in a nineteenth-century French “home for young ladies,” once made the affector famous.

(Note: A portrait of the affector with the caption, “The 13 inch waist of the famous Mlle. Polaire” appears on page 6 of volume 3 of John Willie's Bizarre Magazine, 1946.)

In her case, societal pressures resulted in an artificial deformation of the given body for purely aesthetic purposes. Contrary to this, the affector's invaluable travel experience as an 18-cross-ridge, half-meter long Caribbean remora attached to the hull of the Santa María in late September, 1492, was made possible by a natural adaptation phenomenon that came into effect for purely functional reasons. The gradual evolution of the spiny first dorsal fin resulted in the sucking disk that makes the Echeneididae family stand out in the fish realm.

individual-artificial-aesthetic-heroic vs collective-natural-functional-unheroic