Chapter 97 – Badges and Badgers

Hawkley had come back with the most enigmatic trinket that had come with us from the Undercity: the mysterious broach. He handed it to me with some reverence. “Be careful with this one, young master. No one will touch it. It’s a badge of summoning, but what it summons? That bit’s up for debate.”

I tilted my head. “I thought it was a brooch. That’s what Annalisa said, anyway.”

“Did ye hear what I said? Lad! This could summon a mouse, or it could summon a god of the depths! There’s no telling.”

I looked over. “Sorry, I understand. It’s just… she was so certain.”

“Not to be rude, Darcent, but your friend’s idea of fashion is… novel. She wouldn’t know a matching vest and trousers if they stepped into the fighting pits with her. I wouldn’t take what she says as gospel when it comes to accessorizing.”

I took the badge-not-brooch and looked at it. “Thanks Hawkley. Have a drink before you head back up hill. On the house.”

He tipped his hat and made his way to the side of the bar with the high chairs meant for dwarves. Meanwhile, I pulled out the four of knaves and reached out for Annalisa, telling her to meet me on the edge of the unsheathing.

I made my way east, spotting my partner coming down from the tailors of the middle city. She’d gotten herself a new waistcoat, which looked sharp enough to make me doubt Hawkley’s words. I showed her the badge.

Annalisa’s eyes lit up. “Hey! You got it back! Did you find out what it does?”

“I did,” I said. “That’s why we’re testing it at the unsheathing.”

She took the badge and held it up to the light. “Does it protect against the glow-steel sickness?”

“No. It summons a creature. And since Hawkley didn’t know which one, I didn’t want to be in a populated area when I tested it.”

“Smart! That’s why I let you do the planning.” She thumped one fist into her other palm. “And I’m along in case it’s something we need to stuff back through the brooch, right?”

I didn’t think it worked that way, but technically she was the portal mage, so I didn’t say anything.

We crossed over into the outer parts of the unsheathing. I pulled out the two of towers and fortified us both. Hopefully that would also ward off any effects of the lingering glowsteel miasma. “Hawkley said it was actually a badge.”

“Hawkley should stick to selling bits of wood and wands and overpriced ink.”

The unsheathings aren’t exactly crowded, but they aren’t exactly empty, either. Monsters tend to find their way up from the undercity where the roads and sewers haven’t been repaired in a few generations. Not to mention the unfortunate pets that wander it and mutate, and the people who do the same. There’s also half-orcs in unsheathings. Remnants of the Teeth had taken refuge in the glow-steel afflicted regions, but there was really only one half-orc left in the city I was worried about. I found an appropriate building and scrawled wards on the four corners to dissuade any attention from passers by both human and otherwise. Then, I ducked inside and fanned out my deck behind me, ready to summon whatever spell the situation required.

Annalisa began to warm up with a series of kicks and punches, throwing little “ha-ha” noises in as she threw each one. Dragons above, she was getting fast. I could barely follow her movements, and her fists could crack bone or brick. Someday I’d have to ask her why she did that little huff with each punch, and why sometimes it was a “ha” sound, and sometimes a sibilant “shh” noise. But for now, I focused on preparing the summoning. Part of me whispered that this was a bad idea. The much larger part of me that I listened to more often was extremely curious.

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I put the badge on the ground and stepped away, then siphoned power into it. I’m not great with magic outside the deck of wills, but you don’t need much to activate most magic items. Anna stopped her shadowboxing to watch, barely breathing hard.

The badge rattled on the ground. It vibrated, then began to spin. A ringing filled the air, loud enough to hurt my ears. It sounded like one of those bells you call a clerk with when no one is at the counter, but it was like someone was hitting it over and over, with a hammer. Annalisa covered her ears.

I cut the siphon of power, but the badge already had everything it needed, apparently. I almost called the two of storms to undo the summoning, but with a pop, a portal opened up, and deposited a writhing mass of cloth and limbs splayed out in all—wait, it was just a guy.

The two of knaves came to my hand, and I charged it, just in case. Anna had frost glowing on her fists and horns.

This guy, this… extremely average-looking person, scrabbled around on the floor until he found something. A weapon? No. Just a pair of spectacles. He put them on and stared up at us in alarm.

“Good Dragons above! Where am I? Who are you?”

Anna raised her fists. “Careful, Darcent! He could be a mage! Don’t let him cast a spell!”

“My name isn’t Darcent! And clearly he’s a mage because he’s just sent me through a portal!” the man protested. He ran a hand over his head to smooth down his thinning hair. He looked pale.

I sighed and leaned down. “I’m Darcent. She was talking to me. Who are you?” I took a handful of his robes in my hand. They were fine cut—but not too fine. Well off, but not noble.

“I beg your pardon!” he said, snatching them back. “Shouldn’t you know? You brought me here, after all.”

I offered him a shrug. “I’ve at least told you my name. And I’m not going to hurt you.”

“Ah. True.” He adjusted his glasses. “Fineous, they call me. Yes.”

He stuck out his hand and I took it, catching the inkstains on his fingertips. I nodded behind him. “My partner over there is Annalisa.”

Fineous straightened his spectacles. “Annalisa of Dunnemarsh? The prize fighter? The Lady Blue?” He turned back. “But then that would make you…”

“The Barrow Knave,” I finished.

“Oh, crumbs. What do you want with me?”

“That’s a fair question. Depends on what you can do for us, I suppose. What are you? Wizard? Seeker?”

Fineous deflated. “Nothing so romantic, I’m afraid. I’m a clerk. I work at the city badging office. I issue passes to city properties and inventory customs inspection stamps.”

Badging office? I reached down and collected the badge from the ground. “Do you recognize this?”

His eyes lit up. “That’s my badge! I can’t believe you’ve found it! I paid a huckster penny mage to enchant that badge to always return to me, but the fraud absconded with my silver and I lost this badge down a sewer drain the very next day. Turn it over! The scoundrel even etched his initials on the back, that’s how you can tell it’s mine.”

I could sense the chaotic magics swirling in the badge, much more than the work of a simple penny mage. As Fineous suggested, I flipped it over and read the simple, scratched initials at the bottom corner: K.D.

Curious. What had happened here? I collected my deck and slid the two of knaves back in, trading it out for the three of storms. I sent my will into my newest card, and the inner workings of the spell linking the badge to the badging officer unfolded in my mind’s eye. Once I realized what I was looking at, I began to laugh. “Oh. I see what happened. A huckster perhaps, but not a powerless one.” I scratched my chin. “Actually, I think he must have been a rather powerful practitioner to cast this spell. But he was also sloppy and got it wrong.”

“How do you mean?” asked Fineous.

I tapped the badge against his robe. “The enchantment doesn’t return the badge to you. It summons the badger to wherever this badge is.”

“Amazing!” said Annalisa.

“Not amazing!” crooned Fineous. “I want my money back!”

“I have to agree with Fineous,” I said, blunting Annalisa’s enthusiasm. “Imagine if we’d gotten desperate enough to use it in the undercity.”

The clerk paled even further, biting the tip of his thumb and hem-hawing. “Ooh, this is horrid. Can I at least have my badge?” He held out his hand. I quickly pulled the badge away.

“Slow down there, Fin. You said you issue passes to city properties?”

“Yes, but I would never—”

“Before you answer, bear in mind we can use this to summon you anywhere.” I narrowed my eyes. “Anywhere.”

He gulped and looked between myself and the badge. “Where, pray tell, are you intending to go?”