Don’t think about it. Revin told himself repeatedly. He tried not to picture what was happening to his parents. What sort of torture they suffered. He honestly couldn’t guess. Jebuthar and Narazoth seemed so fair one moment, and so cruel the next. What would Narazoth allow to be done to his own people?

What did Revin do to his own saurians?

Stop it. Focus.

The memories played out regardless. The machine that ripped away souls. The deaths of his ceratops at the walking fortress. Was Revin that much different? Willing to sacrifice the lives of his beasts to achieve his goals?

These thoughts helped distract Revin from the cleaning and stitching Shifra did on his face. She had cleaned the wound, applied some healing and numbing paste, then got to work on his knee.

Shifra shook her head. “You pushed too hard.”

Revin said nothing. Pain was becoming a familiar companion.

“I know you feel guilty about what happened to the saurians,” Shifra said.

Revin cocked his head, looking at her. “Who told you what happened to the saurians?”

Shifra looked dumbfounded, “Well, when you first got back… Omrai said…”

Revin cocked his head. “We didn’t tell you what happened when we got back. Did someone else?”

Shifra looked at Revin in confusion. “Someone must have told me,” Shifra said.

An idea came to Revin. Something… supernatural. He scrunched his forehead but focused on relaxing. “Ok, how do I feel now?”

Shifra cocked her head. “You’re acting strange.”

“Just, trust me,” Revin said, “What am I feeling?”

“You look a little silly.”

Revin didn’t respond.

Shifra let out a sigh of exasperation, “Fine, you’re intrigued.”

“How can you tell?” Revin said, still scrunching up his forehead.

“I don’t know,” Shifra said, “You look it.”

“Really? With my face squished like this?”

“What are you getting at Revin?”

“How about now?” Revin said, letting himself concentrate on the pain of his leg, but remembering how Omrai had just treated him, what Beadoróf had said.

Shifra concentrated. “You’re angry and frustrated obviously.”

Revin stopped making his faces and just looked at Shifra. “How is it, that these emotions, which are hidden by the goofy looks on my face, are still obvious to you?”

Shifra’s brow furrowed. “I don’t know.”

“Have you always felt frustrated around your father?” Revin said.

“Most of the time,” Shifra said, “Yeah.”

“Are you sure it isn’t all the time?”

“Revin, what are you so excited about?”

Revin smiled “I… I think I just figured something out… something important.”

She finished wrapping his leg and tightened it. As soon as she was done Revin sat up.

He smiled at her. “Something… strange is going on with you and your father, can’t you tell?”

Shifra looked confused, and her cheeks reddened in embarrassment as Revin stood, getting up from the medical bed.

“Revin, you’ve been through a lot, you’re starting to sound-”

“No, Shifra!” Revin said, smiling a little as he got up, “if this is what I think it is, then we have a miracle, one that might really help us.”

He nodded at her, about to go.

“Wait!” Shifra said. She grabbed a polished stick with a nob at the top from the side of the tent. “Take this, I had one of the soldiers make it for you while you were gone.”

Revin smiled and took it. He leaned on it, feeling slight relief in his knee.

“Can you tell me what you’ve figured out?” she said.

“Soon,” Revin said, “I have to talk to Omrai first.”

He smiled, nodded again, and left the room.

✦✦✦

Revin walked into Omrai’s tent, leaning on his new walking stick. Omrai still looked frustrated. But Revin didn’t care. “Do you have any idea what’s going on here?” Revin said with a smile.

Omrai glared. “What are you talking about?”

Revin smiled. “You know, I’ve figured out why you’re such a good fighter, and why you’re usually such a good people person.”

Omrai glared.

“I was just talking to Shifra-”

“Don’t talk to Shifra,” Omrai said, “Don’t talk to anyone. You’re done. I’m sending you to the capital.”

Revin looked surprised, his excitement fading. “Come on, I have something important-”

“No! We’ve been on too many false trails. I’ve seen enough of my men die because of your stupid ideas.”

Revin’s smile evaporated. “I want to figure this out.”

Omrai stood up, looking furious. “I was right about you from the start, you’re a selfish child . You are incapable of helping me win this war. You are unworthy of the powers that God has given you, and you are unworthy of courting my daughter.”

Revin glared at Omrai. “I’m not trying to court her! If you would just listen for a second and get your head out of your-”

“You’re forbidden from seeing or speaking with her again.”

“What is wrong with you?” Revin shouted.

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“You can’t control your emotions Revin!” Omrai snapped, “You send me on chases after men that can’t help. The knowledge you give is useless to win this war. My people are being conquered, and you are just a distraction.”

“Didn’t you hear Beadoróf?” Revin said, trembling and tightening his fist, “I am your salvation!”

“And are you the salvation for those saurians that you killed? Those men who died because you hesitated? You came to me, promised to help me win this war. But you can’t. How are you going to master a giganoto when you can’t manage a crushjaw? Or even a yutaraptor?” Omrai let out a disappointed breath. “Get out. I’m no longer your Trial-Lord. Our partnership is over.”

The Trial-Lord connection in Revin’s mind stretched, then finally snapped, bringing back the headache he’d gotten from losing his saurians. Everything was gone. The hallway between his and Omrai’s minds was gone. His hands trembled.

Omrai looked away.

“I’m not selfish,” Revin said, “I’m trying my best. You can’t expect perfection from everyone.”

“Trying or not,” Omrai said with a frown, “your recklessness will get us all killed. Just like you did to those ceratops. Just like my men in every battle where I’ve trusted you. Go home, Revin. You need not concern yourself with our war any longer.”

“It’s not just your war. My parents are Narazoth’s prisoners now.” Revin closed his eyes. Visualizing his kind mother, tortured by Jebuthar. She didn’t deserve that. Nor did his father. “It’s my war too.”

“And if you think you are going to win it, then you are far more naïve and delusional than I thought.”

Bitterness boiled in Revin’s throat until it spewed forth in a flurry of raging words. “You’re just a stupid old man! Who bows to his younger brother like a coward! Who can’t even see what’s going on with his own daughter right in front of him.”

“Get out before I throw you out!” Omrai shouted, standing from his chair.

Revin glared at Omrai. And before either said another word, Revin left.

✦✦✦

Revin sat on his cot and massaged his head in his hands.

“Revin,” he heard a voice say from the tent door.

“Come in,” Revin said.

Kaiato stepped into the tent, holding on to Birdy.

Revin breathed out a sigh of relief. “Kaiato! Thank you!” Revin reached out. Birdy jumped to him, sitting on his shoulder. He still wasn’t connected to him, but Birdy had come willingly anyway.

He looked at Kaiato. “How’d you find him?”

Revin remembered when he’d lost his connection. It had been miles away from their camp. Last, he’d seen Birdy had been wandering, unsure of where to go.

“I’m a sharpshooter,” Kaiato said, patting his rifle and scope.

Revin nodded, “Well, thank you… I’ve lost everything else.”

Kaiato cocked his head and sat, “What do you mean?”

“Omrai isn’t my Trial-Lord anymore,” Revin said, frowning.

Kaiato’s eyes widened. “But we were getting close!”

“Close?” Revin said, unbelieving. “Oh… you don’t know how the meeting with Beadoróf went.”

“I heard some of it,” Kaiato said. “Who is he?”

“He’s a monk like me, from the east. Jebuthar’s his Life-Lord though, so we can’t rely on his powers either… He says if I can’t master a giganoto, we’re done for.”

“You can’t even master army-trained tyrannos, how do you expect to master a giganoto?”

“I don’t know.” Revin lowered his head. “Omrai said he’s sending me away, after what I did to those ceratops. I mastered all sorts of beasts back on the island but…”

“It seems you have a choice to make,” Kaiato said.

Revin looked up.

“You can give up or do what you came to do.”

“I don’t know how!”

“Read your book,” Kaiato said. Pointing at the Sephitaron, which sat in the corner of the tent on top of Revin’s bags.

Revin raised an eyebrow at Kaiato. “Why are you telling me to read a book you don’t believe in?”

“Why are you so hesitant to read it?”

Revin was taken aback. “I… I’m not hesitant.”

Kaiato shook his head, “There is truth to be found in many places, maybe something in there will help you. If you look.”

Kaiato left the tent before Revin could speak another word. Revin turned his attention to Birdy, scratching his feathers.

He tentatively reached out with his mind, like an embrace with an old friend. He was afraid of the sharp pain left from Omrai’s breaking, but he only found Birdy’s affection. It felt good to have someone in his head who liked him. He looked in Birdy’s eyes as the winged lizard chirped cheerfully, their mental connection fully restored. Birdy lay down on Revin’s pillow, closing his eyes. It had been a long day of exhausting fight, and Birdy quickly fell asleep.

Revin turned to the Sephitaron and opened it. Not to where he was reading last, but a random page. He needed some help. Some guidance. Before he read a word, he sent a silent prayer skyward. Maybe Father God was there… and listening. He hoped and started reading.

‘For pride is a sin, one better seen at a distance, far from oneself. Pride envieth, pride seeketh to bring down, pride seeketh to elevate oneself, and pride causeth contention,’ Sephitaro said unto them, ‘and you have been prideful with each other, my followers. Seeking to claim a greater place in The Highest than your brethren.’

Light rain pattered the roof of his tent.

‘In order to master your pride, you must master yourself. In order to master yourself, you must be willing to submit to another’s will. Some of you are chosen to lead others, this is right and good. Some of you are chosen to follow others, this is also right and good. All are followers and all are leaders. Pride will consume you all, faultfinding and murmuring amongst those who follow, unrighteous dominion and raising oneself up above others amongst those who lead.’

Sephitaro sat on the rock, and his followers sat around him, wondering at his great word.

‘If I can follow the words of Father God without question nor complaint, and if I can lead without condemning or raising myself up in pride above you, can ye not do the same?’

Revin looked up from the verses. Goosebumps rolled over him. Something nagged at him. Some sense of… more.

What am I doing wrong? Revin thought. What am I missing?

Father God, he prayed, I swear I will follow whatever command you give me, just tell me what to do.

He waited.

And waited.

He felt nothing. No feeling. No revelation. He cursed and smacked his cot, scaring Birdy awake. Why couldn’t he make any sort of connection? He had lived these teachings his whole life! His father claimed to receive knowledge directly from Father God frequently, so why couldn’t Revin do it? Just once when he really needed it?

Why didn’t he know what to do?

Kaiato said I’d know what to do…

He didn’t read any more that night. He didn’t wait for Kaiato to return. His body was sore, and his head was a thunderstorm.

He performed his tea ceremony with more respect than he had before. After finishing, he lay in bed, looking up at the roof of the tent, watching the canvas ripple from the impacts of the rain.

Father God, he thought for the hundredth time, Should I go and seek out a giganoto?

Again, no answer. His father had always said waiting and listening was important.

He felt nothing.

He closed his eyes, wondering if he should at least try to find the giganotos. If not attempt to master one. From what Beadoróf was saying, they really needed them to win the fight. He didn’t know why, but they needed them.

He fell asleep as questions rolled around in his mind.