Ansa had been showing me the layout of the fortress for the next few days. There were two taverns; one was near the east wall, and the other to the west, and Melior's noblemen and their respective guardsmen were divided between those taverns. It was the only way to fit every man, though some never returned to their rooms, and instead spent the night at the local brothel, which itself was placed near the marketplace. The marketplace ran up and down the main road from the south gate to the great hall, where Kænn resided, and I found that ingenious, as any visitors who came to visit Öranc could buy their wares and leave without having to lose their way. The rest of Öranc was filled with homes and shacks, which I had said before were filled to capacity due to the raids from Lüs Colinus, though it was expected sometime soon that those who sheltered from neighboring settlements would be released safely to their own homes, and those that were forced to house those guests would be relieved.
Ansa was in a bad mood today, contrary to his normal self. I, personally, did not care about how he was acting until it became too much to bear, and so I asked him what was wrong. He muttered something about what I would know or care about such matters and I told him to try me, and so he did.
"The disrespect," he growled," the dishonor. That man..."
"Who?" I asked, irritated he would not control himself long enough to be civil.
"The bastard Hagan. He is without title, no reputation, barely a hair on his chin, but has the balls to call me worthless. A whore's son, he said. Cocky little shit didn't even say it to my face. The disrespect..."
"And have you talked to him?" I asked with a sigh.
"There will be no talk. Men have repeated his words to me. I will ask him, and if he lies or tells me the truth it will not matter. Though his suffering would end if he speaks true."
"What do you mean?"
"Ah, he's a dead man, to be sure. But he can save his honor," Ansa scratched his cheek," his afterlife would just be better if he wasn't a coward."
"Such nonsense," I muttered, and Ansa turned to look at me.
"I do not disrespect your beliefs, though I do not know what they are, so do not disrespect ours," Ansa said," Kænn asked you to watch and learn, not to express your opinions, pup."
"Do not direct your anger at me," I growled at him," let us just go find the man and be done with it."
Ansa scoffed at that. We had stopped in the shadows of the south gate, watching for no particular reason the comings and goings of travellers and the guards who let them pass. It only took him a moment while he chewed on some bread to fill his stomach, and then he threw what was left into the dirt.
"We will find him," he said through his mouthful," Harar!"
One of the men who stood at the gate looked over at us, then turned to say something to his companion, I know not what, and came to approach us. He removed his helmet to reveal black hair that was braided in three random spots and settled on his shoulders loose otherwise. His green eyes scanned me when he stopped in front of us, but then he dismissed my presence and looked up at Ansa.
"What is it?" he said. His voice was about what I expected from someone who was just as aged as Kænn.
"Tell me where to find Hagan," Ansa demanded, and Harar seemed to stir in his thoughts a moment before he nodded.
"Come," he turned, then shouted at the gate," you men stay put. Rand is in charge until my return. I will know of any mistakes."
Harar led us down the main path, but then we veered right past a stall that sold leather and furs. I knew then where we were going, and it was not long until it was confirmed to me that we had been heading toward the tavern where Melior stayed, and I thought that was curious, but did not voice my concerns as I believed they were not cared for. I did learn something in that moment, and it was that humans were just as guilty of unchecked anger as the drakes of whom I grew to know, and their ferocity in that pursuit just as dangerous.
We arrived, as I expected, at the tavern, and the delegates from Lüs Colinus and those of Öranc seemed to be able to stand one another; at least, they were able to drink together, but I felt as if that course would lead to a more bloodied one, though in the past few days I had heard of no news that would lead me to believe they would behave in such a manner. I have seen on Dractalemh what truths lay behind a barrel of ale, and heard the truths rise from the stomach and crawl out of every mouth that spewed words under its influence, and I have witnessed first-hand the tribulations that followed; but today, ale would not play a part in what would come, and I will have witnessed, for the second time, death claim a soul for the afterlife, and whatever afterlife was believed for the victim to suffer or praise to become their home.
"Hagan!" Ansa shouted, but I did not know who Hagan was. I saw many faces turn, and I watched as Ansa tried to find Hagan." Where is the wretched worm?"
I tuned my senses. I tried to find some sort of emotion or energy that was darker than the rest, but it was difficult. Each man here had a sour taste for their enemy of whom they had to drink with. Ansa, knowing I was talented at tracking, looked to me for a moment but I shook my head, and that was when Harar spoke.
"Hagan, you will come," Harar ordered," or death not be the last thing you are afraid of."
"I am not afraid," a voice said from the crowd of men. A man pushed his way out and challenged our presence with his stance, his sword breaking the dirt open as he thrusted it into the ground." What is it you want from me?"
"Your vile and cowardly tongue," Ansa growled," do you deny what I have heard?"
"I do," Hagan said, and he challenged Ansa's furious eyes while Ansa tied his brown hair back.
"Do you now?" Ansa said, then he plucked a band from his arm and threw it to the ground in front of Hagan, who hesitated. I did not know what it meant, but the others who watched seemed to crowd around in a circle. Their energy switched from dark to light, and I knew they were excited to see what happened next. I glanced behind Hagan and noticed Melior, who was watching with an expression that made me think he, too, was entertained.
Hagan snarled, then took hold of his chainmail and removed it over his head.
"I do not deny it," said Hagan," I believe you to be worth less than a normal man. If you did not know Lord Kænn from childhood you would be no one. I doubt you and your command, you are not fit for it. In fact, Ét vonadr þú rotnaí Syndógaud a mærum!"
The crowd called insults and sneered at that remark, but I had no idea what he meant. I did, however, hear the name Syndógaud, who was the god of the dead, and it took a moment from there to realize he had cursed Ansa in Syndógaud's name, and that was an affront even to the drakes.
Though I was not very keen to hear about the trials of man, I did, however, favor my time with Ansa, and so I thought highly of him. I put my hand on the hilt of my sword, the one Kænn gave me, but Ansa hit me in the chest with his hand. I let go and Harar put a hand on my shoulder, then dragged me back a few steps to make room for the fight to begin. Ansa drew his sword.
"I will show you what it takes to command," he said, then raised the sword in his right hand to level with his cheek. Hagan responded by sliding his right leg in the dirt ninety degrees backwards so that his left hand held his sword to the front. It was quiet for a moment, then Ansa poked his sword forward in a furious slash, and Hagan parried it upwards. The crowd began to roar, each man favoring one of the fighters, and some started placing bets. I found that rather curious; the men here must have been starved for entertainment.
After his sword clashed with Ansa's, Hagan's arm wheeled back and he thrusted it forward, but Ansa turned and it missed completely. He used the momentum to roll around Hagan's back and then kicked him in his rear. Hagan stumbled for a moment, but then turned furiously while bringing his sword arm down, and Ansa took a step back. The sword cut the air, and Anda slashed right, barely cutting Hagan's hair. I tuned my eyes to notice the blade had barely a centimeter skimmed past Hagan's nose; something that could be considered lucky, but I think Ansa was just trying to scare him for now.
Hagan growled as he stepped backwards, trying to read Ansa's stillness. It was but a few seconds, and then Ansa yelled, then charged at Hagan with his sword drawn high. Hagan waited, and when Ansa was close, he thrusted his sword from below to pierce under Ansa's ribcage, but Ansa had feigned his blind fury. He turned his chest sharply and the blade skimmed past his tunic, and Ansa brought his sword-arm down to hack at Hagan's neck.
It was a brutal cut; the sword had lodged in the bit of spine that rested in the man's neck, halfway through his body. The blood seeped and sprayed, staining his clothes. Hagan, dying, grabbed the blade with his right hand; I don't know whether it was to attempt to remove the blade or out of confusion, but then he dropped to his knees and Ansa pulled hard, tearing the sword out and slicing the muscles it rested on. My ears had tuned with my eyes, and I could hear the fibers under his skin and the shards of bones in his spine move with the steel as Anda removed the blade, then Hagan dropped to the ground, lifeless in his pool of blood. Ansa grabbed Hagan's sword-hand and closed the fist tight, and I knew this part of their beliefs; he wanted to see Hagan again in the battle hall of their afterlife. Earlier I had scoffed at Ansa's beliefs, but I did not do it here, out of respect.
Ansa wiped the blood on Hagan's trousers. Coin was passed around, and some men stood in silence to remember Hagan for what he was, but I believed what Ansa believed, and Hagan died for his pride and disrespect.
Melior found me a moment later at the bar of the tavern, where Ansa, Harar and I ordered drinks. He bowed with respect, then asked to pull me aside and I agreed, much to the ire of my companions, who did not trust the Sülræan.
"A hell of a fight, would you not say?" he asked casually, and I shrugged.
"I've seen better," I said," though I have yet, until the last few days, to see a man chopped in half or beheaded, so, that was fairly interesting to witness."
"You must be, say, eighteen or... or twenty now," Melior said," you are old enough to be used to these things. Your demeanor says so."
"My demeanor is just who I am, lord," I said, matter-of-factly," it has nothing to do with what I have witnessed and what I have not."
"Fair enough, I concede," Melior replied with a short chuckle. He looked over my shoulder, then placed a hand on my back and guided me farther into the corner of the room as if he wanted to speak privately, and we sat down at a dimly-lit table.
"How do you feel about Öranc?" he asked me, and I stared at him.
"It is cold," I lied, as I did not feel the cold," wet from snow, and loud. Though it is beautiful, I must say."
"Indeed, beautiful," he agreed, but then he leaned in," but would you like to see Lüs Colinus? There is no snow, mind you, and it does get cold otherwise, but when the sun sets, all the beauty in the world could not compare to the golden fields and blue rivers."
I continued to stare at him with caution. I put my arms on the table and leaned in closer.
"Are you trying to ask me something?" I said softly," because I would rather you asked me outright than to dance around the truth." He looked at me seriously for a moment before he laughed.
"The impressions these Vyndcas left on you!" he said cheerfully," but of course, I cannot deny. After I saw you conjure fire, I could not resist."
"Resist what?" I asked him.
"I would like you to work for me," he told me, truthfully," I would like you to be my oath man."
I stayed silent for a moment, then turned to look over my shoulder at the bar.
"I am under Falkend's care," I said, unsurprised at his request, then returned my gaze to him," and I cannot leave his care. You must ask him, but I doubt he will agree. I must return, I am under Ansa's guard, and he will want to return soon."
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Melior frowned. I stood from the table, then bowed my respects as I was taught, and went back to my companions, leaving Melior to stew in his thoughts. I sat down next to Ansa, instantaneously taking a long drink from my cup of ale. When I slammed the cup down on the table and wiped my mouth with my sleeve, Ansa read my mannerisms and prodded me.
"What was that about?"
"Nothing."
The next day came and Falkend woke me early. I rubbed my eyes as I climbed out of bed, but the white lion did not budge, nor have the courtesy to give me a bit of privacy, and insisted that I got up quickly or else. I growled at him, then asked what he meant by that and he slapped me in the back of the head.
"Your training begins today," he rumbled," and you have work to do around the hall. The Lord Kænn was gracious enough to let you stay in his hall, under his roof, and so you have little time to train and more time to do chores. So, I will use you for the time I can."
I groaned at that, but I feared getting hit again, so I quickly put on my tunic and trousers. He handed me my sword and I laced the straps around my waste, then we left the room.
As soon as I pushed the main hall's doors open and we walked out into the cold I became surprised, then frustrated. The sun was not yet risen. I turned to complain but Falkend pushed my face with his large hands. I grabbed onto his wrists and tried to fight him but he picked me up with ease and took me down the steps, then threw me into the snow.
"What in the hell is your problem?!" I yelled at him, and he growled at me.
"Keep your voice down and keep walking."
I knew arguing with him was futile, so I huffed my frustration and turned to continue down the main path. We followed it until the south gate, whereupon Falkend, in his hood, muttered something to Ansa, who was stationed there for the later half of the night watch, and Ansa let us pass with no argument. We left the fortress and continued into the woods nearby and did not stop. I waited for Falkend to say something but he did not, so my frustration built in the silence. The snow was wetting my clothes until I could feel it on my skin, which did not bother me, but I wanted then to go back to bed where I was not in the snow, but in the comforts of tranquility that was sleep. I had time to think in our quietness, and I supposed that Falkend was testing my patience, and I would not let him win, for he knew I was extremely impatient and wanted nothing more than to hit me again.
A few moments later and we came to a clearing of snow, where the trees bordered all around and a small pond of ice housed in the middle. I looked into the ice and saw the water ripple from beneath, a clear sign the ice was thin and should not be tread upon.
"We can stop," Falkend rumbled from behind me, then removed his hood," we will begin here."
He stood still in his largeness, peering down at me with a furrowed brow, as if he was trying to read me. I looked up at him, confused and tired until, finally, he spoke.
"I wish first to see what magic you attune to most," he said, then lifted his left arm from under his cloak and pointed at the pond behind me," lift your arm over the ice."
I looked at him in puzzlement, but he growled, and so I did what I was told. I lifted my right arm over the ice and heard him tell me to close my eyes and breathe, then asked me what the first thing that came to my mind was. My mind was blank at first, but then an image of my mother appeared, and so I told him.
"Focus on that," he said calmly," what do you feel?"
I let her image take over, and I felt calm, and so told him how I felt. He asked me to be sure, and I waited a moment before I nodded.
"What I will ask you next may be difficult, so do not be dismayed if you can't at first. You must focus. We will be here until it works," he instructed," you must channel that feeling down into your palm, then release it from the pores of your skin."
He was right; I found it particularly difficult to channel that feeling into my hand, as it felt different than channeling energy or tuning my senses, and I voiced my concerns.
"Energy and emotion are two different entities," he told me," energy is much more easy to manipulate. It is a tangible force that emits from the movements of your body, while emotion comes from the mind. Do you remember how you felt when you caught the assassin?"
"I do," I replied, and I began to understand. Falkend could tell, and so he continued.
"The drakenfolk descended from the dragons of old, and therefore are predators in the animal kingdom," Falkend explained," there are more than one way in which a drake can unlock their fire, and it usually stems from their nature. Take your sister, Vysedda, for instance. Her fire came from desperation. When attacked by the bear, she had no options, and so needed to defend herself. That is her nature. She is not one who wishes to attack, but, rather, defend. Your fire was unlocked through your primal need to hunt, as well as fury is your nature, as you displayed in the great hall."
"Fury?" I asked.
"You may be calm and uncaring on the outside, young prince," Falkend stated," but inside you are a warrior and a hunter, as your father was before you."
"How does this connect to magic?" I asked him, and he took a calm breath in.
"Your fire began through emotion, but came out as energy," he explained," now you can use that energy at will, you only need to remember how it felt. But magic is more complicated. You must focus solely on emotion and be able to check it, or it will be uncontrollable. Calmness is a great emotion to start with, as there is no need for balance. So, for now, you will use the calmness of your mind. Meditate on the feeling, and let it run like a river down your arm and into your palm."
So I did what I was told. What Falkend explained made it easier for me to understand what to do, as I believed I was trying to convert my emotions into energy, therefore blocking the emotion when I should have let it flow. I put out my arm again over the ice and closed my eyes, then a moment later I felt the calmness overtake me. Now I just needed to channel that feeling into my arm rather than let it course through my body, which proved to be difficult enough to cause me frustration, and instead of calmness in my arm I felt the fire of energy in my hand, which began to melt the ice.
"Damn it," I growled.
"We have plenty of time," Falkend said," we will stay here until you get it right."
We were there until the sun rose. I felt as if I was no closer to getting to where I needed to be, but Falkend was patient and unwavering, and so we continued until it was time for us to return so I could do chores around the hall.
"It is only the first day," he said as we returned through the trees and back to the south gate," in time you will get it, I am sure."
I spent most of my time doing chores contemplating what I could have been doing right and wrong. I found I was unable to rid myself of the idea of magic, and as soon as I was done with my chores did I leave the fortress again and bring myself back to the pond, whereupon I meditated over the ice in an effort to get the feeling of calmness into my palm.
It was a hard battle; my frustrations battled with the image of my mother in my head, and I found I was unable to keep calm long enough to mold it, and so I let out a furious yell that could have shaken the trees. I looked down at my reflection in the ice and saw not myself, but my father, and it appeared as if he was talking to me but I could not hear what he was saying. I realized then that I was torn between the expectations of my father and the nurturing serenity of my mother, and I wanted to give up.
"Give up..." I growled," just what Falkend would want, isn't it?"
My frustrations grew too large and the dragon's fire I felt before combusted into my palm. I punched downward and broke the ice in an attempt to rid myself of the anger, but I still felt it. Nothing was enough. I wasn't enough.
"Fuck this," I growled," I don't even know what the hell I'm doing here anyway."
I turned to walk away, sulking with my eyes in the snow trail I had made upon arriving. The snow began to fall in an effort to remake the blanket I had torn, and it was then that I looked up and noticed Kænn was standing in front of me with his arms crossed behind his back. I said nothing.
"You seem to be in turmoil," he said softly," is there something I might do to ease your mind?"
"No," I growled simply, but he ignored that. He moved past me to inspect the damage I had caused to the ice in the pond. I began to walk again, but his next question had caused me to stop in confusion.
"I was going to bring fish," he said," from the rivers to fill this pond, when the springtime came. What do you think?"
"Why?" I asked him," what's the point?"
"Indeed," he said, and I turned to look at the back of his head. He turned his head slightly to look at me, and I could feel peace radiate from his body." Why do anything at all, hm?"
"Enough," I barked at him," I don't need your sympathy!" He ignored my outburst.
"If I brought the fish here, I think the people of Öranc would appreciate it," he said, then raised an arm," they wouldn't have to go so far to the rivers to see them. They could stand here, as we are now, and watch the fish swim in blissful ignorance of the world, and I think that would put anyone's mind at ease. Such tranquility, don't you think?"
"What do you know?" I huffed at him," what in the hell could you possibly know about peace? You are at war, are you not? And you said before, you've never been at peace, so what could you know?"
He pondered what I said for a moment, then bent down and put a hand into the water where I had broken the ice.
"Almost ice again," he said," did it really matter that you broke it?"
"Shut the hell up!" I yelled, and I could feel the heat rise up both of my arms this time.
"So angry, and yet, what does it do?" Kænn turned, finally, to look at me. His face was soft, as if he didn't care what would happen to him in this instance. I felt as if my blood was boiling.
I drew my sword, my arms in flames now. I ran at him and raised the sword over my head. I don't think he expected my speed for the expression on his face, but he easily dodged the downward swipe I made, and I heard him draw his own weapon from behind me. I turned and, using the momentum, swung my blade blindly, and it clashed with Kænn's loudly. The flames that wrapped my arms singed his tunic, but he was not phased.
"What does the anger do for you, young Tallam?" Kænn bent forward, pushing the sword down, and I admit he was stronger than I anticipated. I forced myself to push back, but when I did, Kænn had loosened his pressure and my sword skirted up his blade. He grabbed my leg and lifted, causing me to face-plant into the snow. I pounded the ground, then swiped my hand with a furious roar, and the flames that hissed in the snow sprawled through the air at my opponent, who ducked underneath the flames.
My eyes turned sharp, and I was ready to pounce at the old man, but Kænn was quick and had the tip of his sword at my throat. I was panting, but Kænn was still as a stone, his narrow eyes piercing into my own.
"What did it do for you?" he said coldly. I yelled at him wildly, but I began to feel a wetness on my face that was not snow, and the fire in my arms dissipated. I felt my cheek amid the choking noise I didn't realize I was making and found I had began to cry.
"What is this?" I asked shakily.
"How do you feel now?" Kænn said," did your anger work?"
"N-no," I admitted in my defeat, and he pulled back his sword, then thrusted it into the snow. He bent down and offered his arm, to which I hesitated, but then I clasped it and he pulled hard to lift me from the snow.
"Are you done with your frustrations?" He asked me, and I pondered for a moment, but then nodded," try your magic again, but this time I want you to imagine what I have imagined. Place the fish in the pond."
I brushed my cheek with my sleeve and, exhausted, brushed past the old man and walked up to the pond. I stared into the newly-formed ice and at my reflection. I noticed, for the first time, a sad little boy who had barely become an adult, crying like an infant. I was embarrassed with myself, and I thought of returning to my quarters in the great hall, but Kænn put a hand on my shoulder from behind me, and I felt calm again.
"Put the fish into the pond."
I closed my eyes, then raised my right hand. My breathing slowed, and I saw my mother in my mind. She was more clear now, but instead of an image I saw her move as if she was here with me, at this moment in time. She looked as how I remembered her, though I had not been gone very long, but now she carried a tan sack, and she was humming. She walked in front of me, then bent down, and tipped the sack over the pond, and I watched the fish flop into the water. They began to swim, and she watched them, and I watched them, and the feeling of peace began to wash over me as if I had just dived into the water myself.
I channeled that feeling into my arm, then felt it in my hand, and when I opened my eyes I saw the ice was broken, and the water rose to my palm and overtook my hand. I began to laugh. I turned to see if Kænn saw what I saw, but he was gone, as if he was never there, but near the trees I saw Falkend, who must have been watching the entire time, and he had a soft smile on his face.
"Well done, young Tallam."
Falkend and I had been practicing for the next few days on controlling the water magic I had learned, and now I was able to use it freely. I did not know anything advanced, but I was able to guide it from the pond into my hand, farther and farther away from the pond each day. Falkend told me it was so I could pull the water from any source at any time, no matter how close or far away I was, and I did not know how useful it would be at this particular time, but I was happy enough to know I could do it.
Between our practices I continued my chores, but now I was more willing, and I had grown to appreciate every minute of my being in Öranc. Whether this was due to Kænn or otherwise I did not think about, but for the first time in as long as I could remember I felt at peace.
I appreciated my time with Ansa the most. I learned how an army would act within the confines of a fortress, and Ansa was a great teacher. Harar would be with us sometimes, and though his mannerisms were much more stern, he grew to be just as talkative as Ansa was, and we got drunk every other day at Melior's tavern, but why we favored that tavern I did not know.
"That Kænn," Harar burped in his stupor," what a man, yes?"
"What a man, i-indeed," I replied, just as drunk as he was," did I tell... did I tell you... I did tell? Did I tell you I could use mag... magic?"
"Plenty of... of times," Ansa slurred," now why don't... why don't you fill us up so-some more... ale, y-yeah?"
"Oh s-sure," I lifted my arms, but nothing happened," oh I... I don't... I don't know how to do th-that, just y-yet."
"Useless!" Ansa growled," I doubt... mmm... doubt that the bar l-lady would give... serve us...."
"Lady! Bar....." Harar shouted sloppily," Another.. 'nother uh.... round..."
The bar lady put her hands on her hips," No, ya drunken boars. Go home, now, I have more respectable customers."
"Stubborn..." Ansa burped,"... bitch. Fine... I-I have l... ale... at my... home. Let's... mmm... let's go th-there."
I fell from my stool, and between the snickers of my drunken companions did I feel them lift me, and we made our way out of the tavern, stumbling into the night. I was piss-drunk, and so I thought I was just hearing things, but my ears automatically tuned to every small noise when I was inebriated. I could have sworn I heard Melior nearby, and I slapped the arms of my companions and told them I needed to piss, so they dropped me into the snow and went on without me, muttering something about meeting at Ansa's. I did not think they would get so far, nor did I think I would.
Instead of pissing, I tracked down where I heard Melior's voice and, sure enough, he was there. I wanted to approach him but I heard something odd, and so my already-tuned ears grew sharper, and I drunkenly put my back to the wall of a nearby building and slid down into the snow where I closed my eyes to listen.
"Within the week," I heard Melior say in a hushed voice. I snickered, but for what reason was unknown.
"Yes, my lord," I heard another voice say.
"Bring only what I have asked, and we will take Öranc," Melior said," and kill every last bastard."
Suddenly, I felt I wasn't so drunk. I picked up some snow and sloshed my face in an effort to wake up a bit, but Melior had finished talking. Of all times to hear such news I could not be sure I heard him properly, but I picked myself up and rushed myself away to find my two companions.