Arc 0: Prelude 9 - What?
dream /driːm/
an aspiration; goal; aim.
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Zachary stood.
He stood there — a week after that bizarre occurrence at school — right in front of the scoreboard. His body stiffened. His skin crawled. His legs nestled like logs. His chest barely shuddered. His mouth quivered, and his lips were dry. His toneless eyes gawked. There wasn’t an ounce of life within him.
The results were out.
“...”
【MELANVALE WRITING CONTEST SCORE SHEET】
【#1 - Lauren Cherith : 208/210】
【#2 - Anju Tilden : 184/210】
【#3 - Yeong-gi Baek : 179/210】
“I… I won?!” Lauren gasped.
But her voice immediately faded away, Zachary was fixated on something else. His eyes spiraled up and down, left and right, scrutinizing the entire list that consisted of all contestants’ scores.
「Zachary Ashworth…」
In his mind, he constantly recited his name, waiting for the moment his eyes would lock onto it.
「Zachary Ashworth…」
The list went on and seemed like it was never-ending. He was already past the fifties and into the seventies.
「Zachary Ashworth…」
And then… the list ended.
Out of three hundred contestants, only a hundred of them were listed on the scoreboard. Two hundred people, with dreams and stories to tell, were completely unaccounted for — not even an honorable mention for some at the bottom. Two hundred kids were left in the mud, including Zachary Ashworth.
Not a glimpse of emotion dwelled within him. He could do nothing but acknowledge the facts, the cruel fact that anyone like him would break down for.
Lauren had won. Zachary was forgotten.
“T-This is really my name?! It’s unbelievable!!! I’m in first place! I won, I won, I won, I won,” Lauren cried with joy.
Her striking accomplishment had rendered her blind to her surroundings. She was still struggling with the fact that she had come out on top of everyone else. By winning the contest, not only will she get her story officially published, but she would be granted the chance at writing a full novel with the help of a publishing company, and possibly a helping hand from her idol, Myung. This was her great chance to become an actual author.
However, she wasn’t the only one thinking about the possibilities.
Zachary shivered at those thoughts. All those awards, those opportunities that were going to be granted to his friend, things that he desperately wished for and worked hard to get, he wasn’t getting even a taste of it.
He and his story were thrown in the trash.
When Lauren calmed down and came to the other realization that Zachary wasn’t anywhere on the list, she placed her hand on her mouth in shock.
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“(Oh? Oh no, oh my god…,)” She spoke under her breath.
Even with her victory, she worried for her friend.
“Zach… I…,” she tried to find the words. For the first time in her life, she felt that she lacked the words to offer comfort, “I’m so sorry… I didn’t…”
She tried to place her hand on his back to ease his tension.
But Zachary turned and knocked her hand away with the back of his hand.
The irises in his eyes had shrunk to a terrible extent. Tears were dropping.
Lauren was equally shocked from that push, but she tried to understand his grief, “Listen, I know we made a promise. But I have no hand in this and you know it. I understand what you’re going through. You were—”
Her words then came to a halt, and instead something else came out.
“gùð agdo oðdeox tiihot oþþahd onhpò”
It was back.
The noise was back.
Of course, it was back. It had been slowly growing ever since the meeting.
Zachary felt the world around him spin. His vision had become distorted. The noise was crawling back into his sight.
It was covering her.
The noise was covering her, the girl that took his hand and promised of a road they could together. But now she was running, slipping away, and he couldn’t keep up with her. In reality, however, he was shunning her out.
「No, shut up, you worthless dumbass.」
He screamed back at his thoughts in his mind.
Nothing had changed, he hasn’t changed. Every time that fact would come crashing down on him, he would try to avoid it, but now it was right in his face. He had to face it. He had always been nobody special, that was who Zachary Ashworth was. Why should he be mad now? Why should he be mad about something that he knew was inevitable?
「I’m worse than a pile of trash.」
It was disgusting, his mind was disgusting, he was disgusting. He believed he should be happy for his friend. She had done so much for him, but he was the one that brought himself down. She was a star that tried to light his path, but he cowered away in the darkness. He had no place in that bright-colored sky.
There was no place for someone whose heart burned with envy for those he once trusted.
“Ipiates…”
Lauren’s voice echoed again. There were no words to be understood.
「I’m worthless.」
Coming with this conclusion, and realizing what he was truly like, he raised his fist and punched himself on the face. It hurt him, but he believed it should have hurt him more, he deserved worse.
Lauren backed away. However, he couldn’t see her face, he didn’t know what look she had on. Was she scared? Was she shocked? Was she smiling?
「No!」
Gathering control of his surroundings, Zachary picked up his feet and dashed out of the place, running away from everything.
He had to run away. There was no place for him here.
Into the outside he went, the sky was clouded. Rain dropped down on the streets vigorously, yet he kept running.
He ran…
...and ran…
...slipped…
...stood back up…
…and then ran again…
Somehow, this all seemed familiar to him.
And of course, why wouldn’t it?
This was the same thing he did the first day he met Lauren and spoke with her. He ran away that day through the streets deep in the rain. However, it was still different.
That day, he returned back to her with hope.
But now…
If he returned back to her now, then he would be clinging onto false hope, onto a lie that he has been telling to himself over and over.
「Nothing’s changed. I’m still that hopeless idiot.」
No matter how far he thought he had come, he was still at the bottom of the pit. There was no place for a change in him. Change went against his nature. It was why he felt uncomfortable at times, why he struggled, why he believed it was all a dream. Because that was all it was… a false dream.
Zachary stood out in the rain, drowning in hopelessness.
“For once… just for once!”
He wondered if the droplets dripping down his cheeks were his tears or if that was simply just the rain doing its magic and sorrow for him.
“I want to want! I want to do something for myself!”
He lacked the luxury to cry.
“...”
He walked again, lost in his thoughts.
「I…」
“Get out of the way!”
All of a sudden, a voice screamed into his ear, the only voice that still carried words somehow. But before he could turn around and react, he felt a hand touch him on the back and push him away.
However, the push was too late. There was no escaping the inevitable.
And that was when he realized he had walked right into the middle of the street.
He had been so caught up in his own stupid thoughts that he failed to notice his surroundings. In the end, it was him and his bleak mind that led to his demise.
A huge, bright light emerged, approaching both him and the one who pushed him at high speed, followed by a loud screech.
「So this is the end…」
*CRASH*
That was the last thing Zachary Ashworth saw… light.
「Finally…」