Arc 0: Prelude 4 - To Dream
imagination /ɪˌmadʒɪˈneɪʃ(ə)n/
the act or power of forming a mental image of something not present to the senses or never been wholly perceived in reality.
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For the first time in almost a decade, Zachary Ashworth genuinely smiled.
He finally found a reason to truly cling onto. It was time to leave the lone cave and start walking a new road, a new road with someone of the same stitch.
As if, somehow, his words brought about a magical meaning, the rain came to a halt. One droplet after the other, it completely stopped. What came after was a beauty of a sight. The dark clouds dissipated as the bright sunray seeped in slowly from each gap, till the grey sky had disappeared, leaving only the sky in a cascade of twilight. It had happened so quickly that none had the words to describe it.
The girl put out her hand to check if the rain was truly gone. Realizing it was safe, she folded back her umbrella after shaking the remaining droplets off. However, it was then that she had noticed that the bright light of nightfall wasn’t the only thing in the sky.
She tilted her head upward.
With her mouth agape with joy like a child, she pointed at the sky. “Look!”
Zachary, who was taking his sweet time to recover from that long run back from the station, raised his torso back up and followed to where the girl’s finger was pointing. To his surprise, he was met by something fantastical; something he hadn’t truly seen before in the real world… a rainbow.
It was bright and colorful with its usual wide curved shape, but it was much more faded into the sky than to how it was depicted clearly elsewhere. This was reality, after all, nothing was as fantastical as it should be.
Even then, the girl gave out all her wondrous reactions toward this rare event.
On the other hand, Zachary still felt nothing from it.
Yes, he recognized it to the full extent, but to him, it was anything but colorful. Just another black and white image along with the rest of the world he perceived. He looked at the girl’s dazzling childlike expression and her eyes that reflected the light of the sky. And then his gaze turned back at the sky and the rainbow, which were still painted in the colorless dusk. It was a desperate attempt, of a dreamful kid, to see the world through her eyes.
「It’s not like something in me will change with just a few different words.」
Despite his thoughts now, he had expected himself to have a change of heart when he made the decision to come back and tell the girl of his dream. Usually, in fiction, this would be the point the character’s mentality changes for better or worse, as it was a character shift after all. Yet he could not bring himself to disappointment.
Fiction was fiction. And this world was this world: reality.
But, unbeknownst to his closed-minded self, the girl was about to make it something more. She was truly going to inflict change.
After admiring the scenery of the sky for no more than a few minutes, the girl turned her focus back on him.
“So…,” she smiled with elegant confidence, “Are you really sure that’s what you want? To see a bright-colored world, I mean.”
Zachary lacked the words to express himself, due to him exploiting his exhaustion. But he didn’t lack the motivation, he wanted to be completely honest with himself, and he was dead-set on achieving his goal. He did not run through hell and back only to back away when the opportunity presented itself.
He nodded with a resolved look on his face.
“I see…,” the girl placed her index finger right under her lower lip and looked away for a moment, as if she was thinking about something, “Alright! Meet me at the tram stop east of the school. Tomorrow. Right after school. Deal?”
“Huh?!”
Zachary gave off a dumbfounded expression. He had no idea what the girl was planning. They had just met and she was already thinking of their next meeting. For someone who barely interacted with anyone in recent years, this was bizarre.
The girl got off her feet and took one lousy, yet large step after the other, as if she was a kid playing hopscotch.
She approached Zach with ease, “You wanna make it to the competition with me, right?”
「The competition…」
He was caught up in his own thoughts that he had completely forgotten about this golden opportunity — it wasn’t exactly one as he had to earn it, but it was an opportunity nonetheless. A writing competition was being held soon by none other than his shining idol, Myung, which had her “meet and greet” event coincide with. It was the perfect chance; a chance to meet the author that inspired him in many ways and learn from her, and a chance to prove his worth in the literature world.
The girl leaned downward and still looked at Zachary with a smile, breaking off his train of thought.
“We’ll need to broaden our horizons!” She spoke with much enthusiasm as she placed all her fingers against each other.
Without notice, the girl reached for her small bag and pulled a small, slightly torn piece of paper, before handing it swiftly to Zachary, who was still dazed by her abrupt and continuous actions.
“I’ll give you the deets later tonight. M’kay?”
Just as she showed up earlier that day with fantastical energy, she decided it was time to leave and quickly walked away. She waved her hand and arms back and forth for a grandiose farewell, till she had completely disappeared from his line of sight.
Zachary stood in his place, with the paper still in his hand. He was quite shaken by the events that took place that day, but more in a dumbfounded way than a fearful way. It was as if he expected something more to happen out of his “life-changing” decision. But he was only met with this sudden chain of actions and reactions from the girl.
And before he could take the proper time to process it all, she was already gone.
“What… just happened?”
He remembered her words, and how a certain thing she said did not align with the question she first asked when she met him.
「Wait a minute…」
“She does know about the tramway!”
Instead of snapping his fingers for coming to that revelation, he frowned in frustration for the time he spent meaninglessly explaining something that she already knew.
「She was playing me this whole time…!」
“Just who the hell is this girl?”
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“Lauren Cherith…”
Zachary mumbled as he held the piece of paper high up while taking a look at it. It had the name of the girl and her number written on it.
He had spent a good half an hour in his room, sitting near his desk, trying to remember where he had heard that name before. As far as things went, she was just the girl who had her eye on him for quite some time now. And yet, he felt that something was missing, that there was more to her than meets the eye.
It wasn’t a thought, it was a fact. Her actions made it so. She might have shared a mentality with him to some extent, but she was much more outward with her feelings and desires than him. That miraculous girl was a perfect fit for an honor-student-type of character in a teenage story.
However, it was when he realized that the simple joke was more of a reality than he had originally thought, that it all clicked in his memory.
「There’s no way!」
A dazed smile formed around his face.
That girl was the ‘Lauren Cherith,’ the prize student of his school. She was an American exchange student that enlisted the year before, and, from that brief encounter that day, seemed to have been still in the school considering it was the new year.
As he recalled from the many stories he had once heard about her, she was a three-time award winner of the ‘Writing Bee’ competition back when she was in elementary school and a two-time award winner of the annual ‘Magical Story Jars’ contest in middle school. The stories about her ended there, however.
Guessing by the order in which she had won, it seemed that she had yet to win or enlist in any competition after those three prizes. This time it looked like she was aiming higher than ever before, as she wanted to join the new ‘Wonderworld Fantasia’ competition hosted by Myung, even going as far as getting him as well on the ride.
It was here that he found a peculiar gap in her resolve — at least, from what he knew about it. Judging by her track record, she was a winner and anything but the opposite.
Zachary tried to rack his brain as much as possible to find an answer to his question: Why would she go as far as get him to want to join the competition with her when they will be competing against each other? Why help a rival? Did she think too low of him that he wouldn’t surpass her?
「Am I looking too much into this?」
That was the norm for him, to riddle his mind with doubtful thoughts.
“But really…,” he mumbled to himself once again, “She really is different.”
He placed his palm on his face and sighed deeply.
Each time he thought about it, he realized more how much of a gap there was in experience and perspective between him and the girl, despite being roughly the same age. He remembered the time he spent thinking of his decision in the station before he ran off to confront the girl, he wanted to remember the feelings he felt, the desire he wanted.
Were they truly genuine?
He knew he felt something, yet he couldn’t shake the doubt that it might have been an illusion in his head.
「Can I really change?」
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Tired of all the overthinking, he tilted his chair to the left and right, emptying his mind from all the useless assumptions. He moved his torso forward and rested both his elbows on his thighs while keeping his hand as a support for his head. He looked around his room to try and distract himself, but seeing as it was just a library, there was not much to see but books everywhere — and he wasn’t in the mood for reading.
But then came the distraction… a dangerous one.
“...”
Zachary’s eyes widened with fright.
It was the entrance to his room.
The door was closed.
There wasn’t anything particular about a closed door… if it weren’t for the fact that he always kept the door to his room open. As a matter of fact, he preferred to keep all the doors to rooms he frequented to be open at all times, despite his inept nature that would seem to indicate otherwise.
“...”
He stared at the door for quite some time, never to keep his eye off it. And as he did, he felt his chest tighten and his breathing get heavier. His mind was burning with the question of who closed his door.
Just then… as his gaze prolonged for more than it should, the door got closer.
It was an unbelievable sight but… the door, the inanimate object, was moving, and not in the manner of it tilting back and forth due to the wind.
No—
The door, in its closed shut state, moved from its place, disconnecting itself from the wall. It inched closer in a straight path. There was no sound. No hard screech against the wood as it moved, and it was all the more terrifying. Perhaps it was simply Zachary being pulled closer to the door, but that wasn’t the case.
The door still moved.
Zachary felt a chill pass through his arm and run down to his spine.
With each passing second, it was getting harder to breathe normally. No matter how hard he tried to slow it down, it just got heavier and faster. He felt a lump in his throat and an itch on his hand.
In an effort to outsmart it — or to prove to himself that this was simply an illusion — he moved backward with his chair, and yet… the door advanced. He tried to stand up but it was then that an immense, terrifying pressure dropped down on him like a boulder.
“Stop…” He averted his gaze.
It kept on its slow march toward Zachary. The closer it got; the bigger in size it seemed. Cracks were starting to appear on the door’s wooden surface, however, they were not of decay. They were claw marks, giant, horrifying claw marks carved recklessly onto the door. It was as if a beast lied hidden within and was rattling its cage to escape.
After maintaining silence throughout her movements, it finally made a noise.
*creaaaaaaaaaaaaaak*
The door slightly nudged itself open with a loud and prolonged screech, just enough to show what was behind it. Zachary shifted his gaze back. There was nothing behind it. No hallway. No light. Nothing, but complete darkness.
Zachary held onto his chest. He almost tore his shirt apart from how tight his grip was and how he kept pushing it away. His heartbeat was in a spiral. One moment, it would be the beating of exhaustion, and in another, it would be one beat closer to death.
Looking at that void behind the door, he figured what it was. It was a tale as old as time. Stare long enough into that void and one will be swallowed whole by it, never to see the light again.
But he wasn’t going to let that abyss stare back at him.
He did not want that.
He did not want a world of complete darkness. He wanted just the world as it was, the normal world, the bright-colored world.
With no sight or sound, that would be a fate worse than death.
He instantly turned his head away and closed his eyes.
「It’s all in your head. It’s all in your head. It’s all in your head. It’s all in your head. It’s all in your head. It’s all in your head. It’s all in your head. It’s all in your head. It’s all in your head. It’s all in your head.」
“...”
Right at that moment…
*RING* *RING*
His hand shivered violently from all the buzzing against his chest.
It was his phone, which he had held onto this entire time. Still, with his body rolled up like a scared little child on the chair, he looked at the phone to see who was calling him at this time.
One glance… one glance at the caller ID was all it took to blow everything away, to break him out of that nightmarish world. He was back to the mundane world, the ridiculous world that he desired for the most at that moment.
【Lauren from School】
【(01524) 1018 2104】
Despite saving her contact with that name, there was only one girl that went by ‘Lauren’ that Zachary has ever met in his life.
He quickly raised his head back up and looked at the entrance to his room. The door was still closed but it was back to its place. The darkness had disappeared. The silence was cut off by the continuous buzzing of the phone.
Everything felt normal at that moment.
Letting out a huge sigh of relief, he jumped out of his chair, to which he was held captive before, and roamed around the room while keeping the phone ring to itself. He held it up for a brief moment to look at it once again.
「My savior…」
“I’ve never felt happier before in my life to receive a phone call.”
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Why would the girl call at this time though? He wondered.
It had been an hour since he had returned from their wondrous encounter. He remembered how she mentioned she would give him a call later in the evening, but the darkness of night was barely even here. The skies were still coated in that mystical pale tint of orange.
His train of thoughts caused him to walk in circles.
It was a simple phone call, it’d be ridiculous not to answer it for so long like that. But his mind wavered and wavered.
Should he answer, he will be dragged further down this “rabbit hole” that may or may not result in success. Should he not pick up the phone, perhaps the girl will forget about him and everything will return to the way it was.
Before he knew it, his thumb slid the “answer” button and opened up the call.
For a second, he panicked, “Oh oh! Uh… Hello!” He quickly placed the phone on his ear, he spoke with a humorous tone, “I thought you weren’t going to call till the evening.”
“{Hey…!}” Her lulling and vibrant voice came through the phone, “{Ah, I just felt like calling you now. It’s not good to keep things off when you have the chance to do it earlier, amirite?}”
“Yeah, totally, I get it!” He immediately agreed with her words, even though his mind wasn’t entirely in the right place at that moment.
「What the hell are you saying, idiot?」
He lamented his erratic behavior from the inside. Just spouting those few words was enough to make him feel like he was one of those other kids at his school, and he surely did not want to be lumped in with them.
“{Anyway, I figured I’d give you a little heads up about where we’re going tomorrow.}” She shifted the tone of her voice to a firm one to emphasize her seriousness, but even then she couldn’t hide the amount of spirit held within. “{Annnd, I wanted to know whether you’ll be up to it or not. Don’t wanna end up going by my lonesome after all.}”
“We’re… going somewhere?”
Hearing that brought confusion to Zachary’s mind. He knew very well that they were going to go someplace. But the way the girl had put it out into words made it seem like there was more to it, which worried him greatly.
「And weren’t my words enough to convince her I was in?」
“{It’s not just somewhere…,}” the girl chuckled, “{It’s… I better keep it a surprise. But I need to know that you’re fully committed no matter what.}”
When it came the time to confirm his determination once again, he felt his tongue stutter before saying anything.
He was hesitating.
It genuinely surprised him. After all these thoughts to himself, his idiotic mind was still stuck in that corner of the past.
「I… I want to do this! I chose this!」
“Yes! I did not risk myself catching a cold in that weather only to back out now,” He tried to hide his stress with a laugh.
“{That’s great! I’m glad you’re still on,}” she was back to her excessively loud and energetic tone, “{Well, that’s all for now. It was fun talking to you, Zach.}”
His eyes widened after hearing her words. But before he could respond, the call had already ended.
She had hung up on him.
Despite her friendly attitude, it seemed she was really not one for saying proper goodbyes, even on the phone. He looked at his phone to confirm that the call was over.
「That was kinda… pointless?」
He was already dead-set on doing everything in his power and going beyond to change and get his story somewhere. The days of clinging to the background were over. But as he thought of that, his mind shifted elsewhere.
“Zach…”
He mumbled to himself, remembering the way she had nonchalantly called him by his nickname at the end. He didn’t have the time to properly react to it then.
Although that didn’t stop him from being weirded out by her behavior, she was acting as if they were best friends already — that nickname drop was the cherry on the top. Perhaps this was her way of making friends and making herself memorable.
Those short interactions with her definitely left an impact on him.
From one thought to another and then back, Zachary dropped onto the chair and sighed deeply. He was back to thinking about his decision.
「I wonder if I really did the right thing.」
With his mind moving onto another thing once again, he found himself looking back at the door. He remembered the fear from before, and how he hated it; how he hated for the doors to be closed. However, this time, he wasn’t going to let fear get the better of him.
This time, it was anger.
He loudly scoffed before he got up to his feet and rushed to push the door wide open, “How many times have I said not to shut my door?!”
In his fit of rage, he was suddenly met by a maid standing in the hallway, who immediately jumped back in surprise from his aggressive bolt out of the room.
Despite being visibly shaken by his actions, the maid quickly bowed down. “I deeply apologize for my hasty action, young master. I thought that you might have needed some quiet time for yourself. I am very sorry, sir.”
「So it was… her?」
If she didn’t wear the signature black and white maid attire, he wouldn’t have taken her for one. She looked awfully young to be a maid, about his age or so from what he could determine. The look of distress and regret on her childlike face made him feel quite bad about rushing out like that.
“I was assigned here recently, so I didn’t know better till a minute ago. I rushed back here as fast as I could.” She continued her apology, “But I know such a thing is not an excuse, and I am very sorry for that. Please forgive me, young master. I promise you with my life it won’t happen again.”
“Uhhh…”
Zachary was more concerned about what they taught the maids here rather than the apology itself.
It was as if she had committed a great sin against his family. Yes, he was angered by the fact that his door was closed. Yes, it brought him stress. But it was just an honest mistake from a young and inexperienced maid.
He rubbed his forehead and sighed, “It-It’s fine. But listen, just… just keep it in your head at all times from now. Never close the doors to the rooms I frequent in this house, please.”
“Yes, yes, I understand very well. It will never happen again and I’ll make sure of it with anyone else who doesn’t know.” She elegantly bowed instead of frantically leaning her torso down like before, “Thank you very much for your kindness, young master!”
「Kindness…?」
After this frantic encounter, Zachary was left in a state of disarray. He turned his head away and wondered when he had become kind again. He would always turn away the maids and ridicule them for their mistakes at every chance he got.
Yet things went differently this time… quite differently.
「Is her influence rubbing off on me already?」
He had thought of the girl, he had thought of Lauren, and how her brief aura of light was the only thing of genuine color he would ever see in years. She was a girl who seemed similar to him in so many ways, yet she was still different from him. She had a different outlook on her life, facing the colorless world head-on and reaching for the greater colorful one.
「Guess it might not be so bad, after all.」
He let out a quiet laugh and looked back at the hallway…
...only to find the maid still standing there with an innocent, yet woeful expression on her face.
Zachary’s eyes widened, “You’re still here, huh?”
“Oh? My apologies. You did not dismiss me, so I had thought that you desired something else.”
“Uh huh…?” He tried to follow her logic, which was fairly simple — he just did not understand the ethics of this upper crust world he was dragged into. “Then… I uh… guess you can go now?”
“Right away, sir!”
She bowed down in respect with a smile on her face, before walking away.
As she was gone, he was left with his thoughts once again.
Five years.
Five years he had been in this grand house, and this was the first-ever genuine interaction he had with someone in the house, even if it was a maid. He felt a strange feeling like he was proud of himself in some way.
He took that thought with him to his room and sat back again on the chair next to his desk. He moved it around to face the entrance as a precaution.
The door was wide open.
Everything was fine.
Tired of these thoughts and words circling around in his head, he leaned his back against the backrest and reclined the chair — a position like this was miles better than sleeping in a bed for him.
He placed his arm on his forehead, just slightly covering his eyes, and slowly let out a deep exhale.
「Hang in there…」