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Twenty
1. Swinging

1. Swinging

Maria took hold of her daughter by the arm hugging her firmly to her side. She had caught her doing something she knew she wasn’t allowed to do and there was no excuse for this behavior. The little girl, who Maria saw fit to name Christian, could barely keep her footing on the ground as her mother rushed her inside. She knew what she did was forbidden but she just couldn’t help herself.

Christian dreaded what would happen next and soon her suspicions turned out to be true. Coming into the house Maria led her disobedient daughter to her room where she placed her inside, letting go of her arm like a dogwalker letting go of a leash. 

Finding herself in a familiar room Christian felt a sensation run through her chest, it was the sting of knowing that she did something wrong. She wanted to apologize, maybe that would relieve her guilt, but she knew that what was done was done and there was no taking it back. 

Maria looked down at her child, her expression somehow both blank and stern. The little girl didn’t need to see her mother’s face to tell that she was in trouble, she could tell by just the slightest change in Maria’s composed posture. “Christian,” said the woman. “Do you know what you did was a sin?”

Christian nodded her head; she couldn’t bear to look up at her mother. 

“But yet, you chose to do it anyway?” Maria shook her head, what a disappointment her offspring is turning out to be. Slowly she knelt down and pulled Christian’s face up to meet hers, there would be no looking away from the truth. “Do you not know that the Devil targets the weak? When we allow ourselves to go astray, chase our desires, or disobey our parents- they know. Do you know who they are?” 

“The Devil and the Lord?”

Maria nodded. “The Lord knows when you have sinned, and the Devil knows too. While one looks away from you, the other sets their sights on you. Do you wish for God to turn his back on you?”

“No, no, mommy I don’t!” 

“Then why did you knowingly sin by disobeying me?” Maria let go of her daughter’s chin and turned towards the door. “I will pray to God that he may be merciful to you, my daughter, for only by his forgiveness will your soul be saved now.”

That sensation, the sting of guilt rushed through Christian as she lost her composure. “Mommy, I’m so sorry! I was bad, I know I was bad, I want to be forgiven!” Maria did not face her daughter as she slid the door shut behind her. She could hear Christian’s desperate pleas but did nothing to answer them as she slid the bolt shut and the click of the lock sounded. “I won't ever go back there I promise! I promise! Please don’t keep me in here, I don’t want to be in here!”

“You will stay here until you can confess your sins at the next service. That way you will not be able to tarnish your soul any further.” Maria turned to go, but for a moment she stopped. It was as if she wanted to say something else but as quickly as it came it left and Maria went about her business. 

In the room, little Christian knelt at the base of her locked door, her room now her prison. Wiping the tears away from her face she hoped in her heart that her mom would come back, and she would hear the twist of the lock open again, but she knew that would never happen. Picking herself up she walked over to her bed and buried herself into her pillow. She wished that she could be the good girl her mother wanted, be the girl that God desired her to be. But she couldn’t help being bad and she didn’t know why. 

Turning onto her side she peered out her tiny window to the yard outside her house. In the corner of the property sat an old rusting swing-set that stood opposed to the setting sun. It was run down, banged up, and dented but it still looked like the seat and the swings themselves would be able to work. Maybe that was what drew Christian to disobey her mother’s wishes and try it out.

In the brief period that she had gotten to try it, Christian had the greatest fun of her life. She imagined herself flying with every upswing and with every downswing she saw herself diving deep into the ocean, where all the fish swam around her. For a moment she had forgotten that her mother had told her never to go on the swing, for a moment she forgot about all her cage and any notion that what she was doing was a sin. For a moment she got to be a child, and those moments were few and far between. 

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BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZZZZ

A hand reached up a lazily switched off the blaring alarm. The noise was coming from a phone that at the time of purchase was considered new but now had long since passed into outdated. The hand belonged to a woman whose hair was presently covering her entire face and veering dangerously close to being eaten in the confused daze of waking up. The woman grumbled as she practically flung herself off the bed, if she stayed there any longer, she knew she wouldn’t be able to resist the thought of going back to sleep. It was like a siren’s call of warmth and comfort, but a call that would likely damage her reputation at work if she answered.

“Babe, are you alright?” Called another voice from the other side of the bed.

The woman winced; she must’ve been too loud getting up. “Sorry, Jess. Just going to work.”

Jess uttered what seemed to be an affirming grunt and slipped back into her dreams. The woman sighed and got on with her morning routine, but this time making sure to be extra quiet. Jess was a notorious insomniac and any sleep that she got was a luxury that shouldn’t be squandered. ‘Operation Make Coffee Silently’ was in full effect and it went off without a hitch. Soon, after some intense tippy-toeing, the woman made her way out of her humble apartment and off to work.

Unfortunately, she wasn’t the sort of girl that could afford a fancy car, it was a miracle that she was even able to afford a place to stay that was halfway decent. So she had to rely on the dutiful kindness of strangers, people who went by the fashionable name of “bus drivers.” It wasn’t the most glamorous way to travel in the early hours of the morning, but it got her to work on time.

Work was another matter entirely, both the bane of the woman’s existence and the only way it was sustained.

The Super-Super Market was located downtown in a place that once was full of business, until of course the mall came and drove it away. Then when the mall went downhill the entire area seemed to drive out business all on its own. However, capitalism is nothing if not stubborn and the unfortunately named Market still stands. But in the woman’s eyes, the worse thing about the store was the horrendous neon puke-colored outfits they were required to wear. The collars itched like crazy the color made it seem like they filming on a green screen all the time.

As she came in through the back, she remembered the last piece of the atrocious attire. From her pocket, she produced a cheap plastic name tag that displayed her name in clear bold text so that anyone except the blind could see it.

“Chris.” It read.

The place was deserted as usual with only the stray roaming costumer lurking about like some sort of predator waiting to strike- only instead of prey, they were hunting for the clearance section. Chris got to work stockpiling the new stuff that had come in. Coffee filters, adult diapers, and dog food, all were the standard fare that she had come to expect.

“Hey!” A strong hand grabbed the side of Chris’s arm. Surprised she nearly sent a box of hemorrhoid cream flying through the air but was able to hold onto it with the sheer power of her will and the thought of how weird that would have looked. “You’re on register today.”

Manager Jake, a short and stubby man, had a habit of sneaking up behind people when they least expected it. The first time it had happened to Chris, she nearly slapped him into next Sunday but the need for a job kept that from coming true. It was not intentional, in fact, he never seemed to realize that he was doing it despite the facial expression and the cursing.

“I thought it was Dale’s turn on the register.” Chris bemoaned.

“It was but he’s not going to be able to make it today.”

“Ah figures,” She couldn’t help but reply. Dale was always a no-show and Chris couldn’t help but wonder how he hadn’t been fired years ago.

“I was just told he died this morning, poor kid.”

“What?” For a moment, guilt washed over Chris for thinking such negative things about her newly deceased coworker.

Jake let out a curdling giggle. “Ah, I’m just kidding. The kid got the Flu, he’s fine.” Chris was relieved but her pride didn’t allow her to show it. “Gotcha pretty good there, didn’t I?

“Yeah, you sure did, Jake,” Chris said with as much conviction as she could muster to get this conversation over with. “Good one.”

The sting of guilt subsided quickly as Chris took a deep breath, she really hated that stupid feeling. Chris brought herself to the register and settled down into place. She hated working in the front, dealing with the requests and the demands of other people wasn’t something that pleased her. Once an old lady had walked in and paid a $67 bill entirely in nickels and pennies. Chris probably would’ve quit on the spot if she wasn’t focusing on counting.

Thankfully business was slow, and customers were scarce but not completely absent. Two customers found their way into the line. The first was a man who was purchasing 8 containers of spray-on deodorant and a can of green beans. “That will be 34 dollars, sir,” Chris said imaging the many possible reasons behind such a purchase. “Next in line!”

An older woman stepped up in line and Chris waited patiently for her items to appear on the conveyor belt. But after a pause, she looked up to find that the woman didn’t appear to be carrying anything at all. Customer Support Chris kicked in. “Hello, ma’am, can I help you with anything?”

“Yes, I believe you can.” The woman’s voice was stern and proper, and very familiar. “You see, around 4 years ago my child ran away from me and my home. I was wondering if you could help me find her?”

Chris stood still, still as a statue and replied in her proper customer-friendly voice. “I’m very sorry about that, but I really don’t know how to help you.”

The woman stepped closer and looked Chris dead in the eyes. “My lost lamb, I’ve finally found you.”

Chris’s heart shook and her breathing slowed, how had she found her? “Mom?”

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