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Tunnel Rat: Causing Trouble in Two Worlds
Chapter 177: Don't bring a Mace to a Spider Fight.

Chapter 177: Don't bring a Mace to a Spider Fight.

Gangrene took three long strides toward his troops and glared up and down the line. Some of them were looking at him oddly, and it infuriated him. One started to open his mouth to speak and then thought better of it. "Shut it! Prepare to charge on my order." He raised his mace high, activated its destructive aura, and turned around. He saw the big guard running as fast as he could to the entrance to the Hollow.

Tallsqueak was standing in front of him, only a foot away. "Sorry, but does the Parley stop when we each take three steps away from each other? Or just three steps in any direction? It matters because if the rules specify 'away,' then you can't attack me. We are still in a Parley and aren't fighting yet."

Gangrene's snarled at his clearly insane adversary. "I'll give you a hint: I'm about to kill you." He swung his mace at Tallsqueak, who ducked and struck a feeble blow at him. He barely felt it through his metal cuirass.

Tallsqueak did a backward somersault, then scampered further away quickly. He pointed at Gangrene's troops. "And you forgot to call the charge. I don't think you can try to invade another Hollow unless you officially call a charge. Probably in the rules somewhere. Do you want to go look them up?"

Gangrene glared at him and shouted to his soldiers. "This one is mine, and mine alone! Kill the dwarves and take the Hollow. CHARGE!" The soldiers ran straight ahead, ignoring the general and his smaller adversary. Many of them would have loved to watch, but not one of them would have put money on the General to lose. Several had decent Identification skills, especially the scouts. They knew Tallsqueak was Level 10, and he was rumored to have both fighting and arcane abilities. But that wasn't enough.

On the other hand, Gangrene was Level 19 and a veteran of several wars. He was skilled in many types of weapons, martial abilities, and several Earth Aspected magic spells. This fight wasn't even going to be close. As Tallsqueak summoned his bone armor, the General was covered in layers of stone and hardened earth, several inches thick.

Gangrene's voice sounded deeper once he was encased in stone. "I'm sure you plan to delay me and give your troops a chance. That isn't going to happen. I'm far too powerful a foe." The ground sprouted stone spikes to impale Tallsqueak, who leaped upwards to avoid them. He landed on the ground several feet away, counting to himself.

Milo smiled at him. "I came to that conclusion as well. That's why I attached two Series K 'Shipbuster' limpet mines to your armor. Surprise!" He put his hands on his ears and turned away.

Milo hadn't wondered at all why Barnacle had mines and cataclysmite in her backpack. The Engineers were crazy, and the Scavengers were worse. Her pack had been filled with an assortment of exploding death. The limpet mines were used against ships. The flat, dish-shaped mines would be stuck on the side of a ship or submarine, and the timer set. Milo immediately fell in love with them and took two of them with him. They were currently on the front and back of Gangrenes steel cuirass and underneath a layer of rocky armor. If anything, the Earthen Armor spell was about to make things worse by containing the blast.

General Gangrene had earned himself many enemies during the wars, some of them technically his allies. His paranoia about assassins was legendary, and his survival strategy was to be very, very hard to kill. The Claw Warrior class gave him 3600 health. That was augmented with the Enhancement Increased Health 7 for another 2900 health. His STR and CON of 30 gave a bonus of 3000. With a few other abilities thrown in, the General had over 10,000 health, making him very difficult to kill.

The Shipbuster mines didn't care about any of that. They easily punched through his steel armor, shattered his Earthen Armor, and hit him harder than anything had ever hit him in his life. Brittle Bones shattered into hundreds of pieces, victims of a spell Milo had cast earlier. The twin explosions should have eradicated Gangrene's torso, killing him instantly. But decades of leading armies and conquering throughout the underworld had given him many magical items. As pain tore through his body, the General saw infuriating notifications scroll past his eyes, even as those items kept him from death.

[An explosion has destroyed your Dark Steel Cuirass of Defense.]

[Helm of Concussive Protection has shattered but prevented your brains from being scrambled.]

[Amulet of Enorica has allowed you to cheat death and kept your spine intact. Its miracle dispensed, the amulet crumbles to dust.]

[Teflon's ring of Hefty Healing has been activated, and all three remaining charges have been used, healing you for 1500 points of damage.]

[Your current Health is reduced to 4,120.

You are mostly deaf. Permanent disability. -10 to PerceptionYou are bleeding for 120 points per round until you receive healing for your open wounds.

Your speed is reduced by 40% until you receive healing for broken ribs.

Brittle Bones will cause you to take additional damage from blunt impacts. Important Note: This Includes Explosions!]

The general shook his head back and forth, trying to clear his vision. His ears were ringing too hard for him to hear, but he could see his soldiers charging at his enemies. The dwarven mercenaries were firing their cursed guns, but his soldiers were un-killable with three pieces of battle cheese inside their bellies. Some would die once the battle was over, but sacrifices had to be made.

Gangrene struggled to stand, cracked ribs grating and blood oozing from many wounds. Taking a deep breath, he used his Second Wind5 ability to restore 670 mana, stamina, and health points. The health was useful, but it was the mana that was essential. The general only had 1100 points of mana, and his Earthen armor spell took 600 points to cast. But with it protecting him, he could finish this fight, and healing potions and regeneration would keep him alive. And importantly, the armor would seal his wounds and keep him from bleeding to death.

As the layers of rock and earth moved up from the floor to encompass his body, he was struck from behind. A harpoon punctured his shoulder and punched out the front of his body. The shock of the damage made him lose control of the spell, and the mana used in the disrupted spell evaporated. The pain made him angry, and he snarled as he turned and looked behind him. Tallsqueak was perched on a rock fifty feet away, encased in bone armor, his long tail whipping back and forth. Gangrene charged at him, and his adversary threw two skulls at his feet before leaping to the side. Gangrene kicked one of the bombs away; the other exploded at his feet. The damage was minor, but the dust and debris it kicked up made him lose sight of his adversary.

Gangrene had faced dozens of assassins and fought them in darkened caves and smoke-filled buildings. His opponent would try to approach from his blind side, using his lack of hearing to sneak up. A lifetime of fighting told him where his enemy would be. He spun, and as something dug into his side, he hit Tallsqueak with his Mace of Armageddon, knocking him to the ground, dead or stunned. He hurt too much to follow up his attack against his stunned foe.

[Shadowblight has struck you.

You are Poisoned and are taking ongoing damage.

You have lost 150 health from the blow.

Your mitigation is reduced by 50 points until healed.]

Poisoned? His resistance should stop that! But he could feel it. Spider venom, eating away at him. He took a breath and then walked two steps to where Tall Squeak lay on the ground. He had expended over a thousand points of stamina on that blow, triggering its Crushing Death ability. He was surprised Tallsqueak's head was still on his shoulders. It was time to rectify that...

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Three minutes before...

Gilad stared at his rival. "And just where do you think you are going?"

Arlothe gestured toward the entrance to the outer caverns. "For a short walk with a few of my students. I've been told that Tallsqueak is off to talk to the caravan's leader. I'm sure a fight will break out, and I'd hate to miss it. I'm starting to like these larger combats. Dueling is fun but not as enjoyable as frying spiders."

The Tail Master shook his head. "We were here first. My fighters are prepared to enter combat as soon as the signal comes."

Arlothe bowed. "Of course, old friend. You go first. We'll catch up." The storm mage was happy with being in the second rank. That was the advantage of magic. You didn't have to be in claw range to throw a lightning arc at an opponent.

Shouts and a voice like thunder shouted 'Charge!' from the cavern. Gilad was racing immediately into the tunnel, followed by his thirty fighters. Arlothe was just a little behind with a dozen students, half from Clan Emerald Wyrm. Their staves were charged, and their eyes were glowing. Cremona's hands were glowing bright green, and wisps of condensed poison curled around her claws. Unlike her husband, she would be happy to get up close where her hands would dissolve flesh and armor.

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

As the caravan guards grew close to the dwarven mercenaries, they were stunned by the explosion that took place on the far side of the cavern. Tallsqueak was standing near a crater where General Gangrene was on his hands and knees, covered in blood.

Two-Screws nodded his head at Sledgemonkey. "Glad I didn't take that bet; he did have explosives with him."

Sledgemonkey laughed. "An Engineer always takes the right tools for the job." He clicked the safety off of his rivet guns and started firing.

"I'll say this for these caravan lads; they don't go down easy!" Two-Screws had started shooting as soon as the soldiers had started moving. He'd wondered what Senior Engineer Milo was up to, following close behind the general. Then he'd seen the unmistakable shape of limpet mines and had sucked in his breath, waiting for the explosion.

He saw the general disappear in a blast of rock and blood. That boy wasn't playing around at all! Then again, thinking about what he'd used to kill the snake, that had been more like a love tap!

Two-Screws wasn't happy with the rate at which he was dropping enemy soldiers. The problem he was having was the damned shields. The rivets lost a lot of energy punching through them, and it took half a dozen hits to drop one soldier. He should think about using explosive ammunition. Undeterred, he worked his way down the line as they charged closer. Sledgemonkey was doing the same and finally getting his gun appropriately calibrated. Behind him came the sound of the dual chain guns on top of the spider. Four engineers and two scavengers had made it a group project to rebuild them properly. The huge bore weapons were synchronized, and their rate of fire had doubled. Sledgemonkey had brought out a thousand rounds of ammunition to fuel them. The long belts of high-caliber shells coming from the storage in his Arcane Workshop.

Two-Screws took a glance and saw that it was Vary on the gun. The youngster laughed hysterically as he raked the guns back and forth across the advancing line. His guns punched through those shields with ease, and he had dropped several soldiers to the ground already. Barnacle snored on, too drunk to even wake up and missing the fight. The spider stirred, saw ratkin charging her, and roared to life. Past battles as a mercenary and her time in the Rat Wars mixed in her drink-addled mind.

Vary tried to hold on and keep firing as his mount suddenly charged into battle. Tons of mechanical spider impacted the line of armored ratkin, and it was the soldiers who lost. Robotic legs speared bodies, and sharp fangs poisoned them. On unsteady legs, the Iron Spider staggered through the battle. Vary gave up shooting the guns and concentrated on not falling off or losing his hold on Barnacle as he worked the foot peddles, trying to steer the spider into more of the enemy.

"Fire in the Hole!" Narwhale sent an explosive shell into a close-packed group of warriors, killing two of them outright and wounding four others who were getting up slowly. Boom-Boom hurried to load another shell. Half of the soldiers were dead, but the rest were too close for comfort. The cannon would only get one more shot, and then they would be overrun.

Sledgemonkey's gun jammed. He cursed for a moment and then pulled the sledgehammer off of his back, charging up its head for his first swing. Not content to wait, the old dwarf slammed shut his helmet and lumbered at the charging ratkin, his mechanical armor picking up speed as he countercharged. His first double-handed swing knocked down two soldiers and killed another. The force of the charged blow sent the body flying. And then he was fighting against several cheese-frenzied ratkin warriors. Two-Screws was beside him instantly, his weapon killing a ratkin aiming a blow at the Senior Engineer's back. The two went back to back and got down to the dirty work of killing enemies. Brutus was nearby. He had taken his battle cheese and swung his heavy halberd near where the two dwarves fought. Each swing hit a caravan guard and knocked them down, injured or dead. Others jumped back to avoid the swings of the long weapon.

Narwhale didn't want to leave her wedding present, but after her last shot, Boom-Boom threw her over his shoulder and turned to retreat down the tunnel. He was stopped by the sight of a horde of charging ratkin led by an old veteran with glowing fists and tail. He wisely got out of the way, and they returned to loading the cannon, watching wave after wave of ratkin from Limburger Hollow throw themselves into the fight against the armored caravan guards. Gilad leaped high in the air and landed among his enemies. He hadn't cut loose in decades and had begun to doubt himself. But he felt younger now. Nightly fights with a powerful cheese fiend had awakened old skills and given him back his confidence. His claws cut through armor and bone while his tail shattered skulls. In this battle, he was once again the Tail Master who had led his armies to victory over the spider clans.

They were followed by the mages, who immediately sent searing arcs of electrical energy into the caravan guards, aided in their targeting by the heavy metal shields and armor. Muscles spasmed and flesh cooked inside metal armor that added to the damage the storm magic could do. A choking green mist settled on the heads of many guards, and more than one collapsed as venom overwhelmed their pitiful poison resistance. Cremona darted through the fight, slashing and moving away.

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Beyond the fighting, in the center of the cavern, General Gangrene lifted his huge mace above his head, preparing to bring it down on Tallsqueak's head.

Milo was sure he had got his head stuck in a subragator. Nothing else could have hit him so hard. Only his rune-hardened bones had saved his skull from being crushed. He cleared his head just in time to see Gangrene raise his mace. He wasn't going to be able to dodge. Rocks pinned him in on one side and one of the General's legs on the other. He did the only thing he could, interposing his weapon between himself and the downward swing of the mace.

Gangrene laughed as Tallsqueak tried to block the swing with a spikey stick. The Mace of Armageddon slammed into the makeshift weapon of bone and wood. The thin weapon bent, and Tallsqueak felt his shoulders dislocate as his stiffened arms held his weapon. But the mace couldn't break the Nigh Invulnerable spikey-stick, and its force was redirected as Shadowblight bent and then straightened. The Mace of Armageddon rebounded and struck Gangrene in the forehead, knocking him backward and stunning him. He barely saw the notification flash by.

[You have been stuck by the Mace of Armageddon. (Frankly, we are surprised you're alive. But you do have a hard head.)

Your skull is fractured.

You have a concussion.

Your health has been reduced to 2,156]

Milo sat up, calculated how to regain the use of an arm, and then slammed his shoulder into a large rock, popping one arm back into its socket. The pain was intense, but he needed at least one arm if he was going to finish this fight. It felt like it took forever to stand, and his vision was fuzzy. A dozen feet away, Gangrene also managed to stand up. He smiled through bloody lips and broken teeth. "No one has ever taken a blow from my mace and lived. You are a more worthy opponent than I thought. I'll keep that hard skull of yours and make a mug out of it."

Milo slashed with his tail at Gangrene's face only to have the General block with his mace. Tallsqueak rolled to the left, standing up further away, and launched a Harpoon of the Winds, hitting Gangrene in his leg and making him stagger. Blood gushed out. Gangrene's arms fell to his side, and his eyes unfocused. Milo saw him take a step backward and almost fall. Barely able to hold onto his mace, the General brought up a hand to brush blood from his eyes, and Milo used the opening to surge forward and bring Shadowblight around in a long arc that scratched against the general's leg. The skin turned black as poison spread.

And then it was Milo's turn to be hit, as the General laughed and his tail slapped hard against Milo's head and knocked him down. Milo saw three of Gangrene, and all three of them were winding up for a one-handed blow with his mace. He tried to roll, but nothing in his body worked, and he couldn't clear his head. The Mace of Armageddon came down, and Tallsqueak brought up his weapon in a feeble attempt to block with one hand.

The enchanted mace stopped before it completed half of its arc. Gangrenes' arm was held in the strong claws of the Hero of Flowertown. Larry grabbed ahold of the mace and yanked it out of the surprised Gangrene's hand. Larry looked at the General. "Buttercup and Rosie don't like you." Larry punched Gangrene in his face, completing the work started by the Mace of Armageddon. Cartilage flattened as his large snout was rearranged, and several teeth came loose. "Larry doesn't like you either. Larry thinks you are a BadBadGuy." Larry continued to hit Gangrene until he collapsed.

Milo sat up. Larry handed him some red jelly beans, and he chewed them down. His head stopped spinning, and he felt better. Across the cavern, he saw the ongoing battle. "Larry, people need help." Larry saw where he pointed, nodded, and ran off to be a Hero. Milo staggered upright. Gangrene was unconscious but still breathing. Larry hadn't killed him, but he was close to death, blood pooling around him. Milo wasn't going to take any chances. Shadowblight came down once, then again, and again. Gangrene died, and the weapon purred, happy with itself. Milo felt tired. He sat down to rest for just a moment.

Across the cavern, the battle ended as the last few caravan guards surrendered rather than face the wrath of Larry.