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Chapter 116: Clean Pants!

Something near Milo had died. It was very close and very stinky.

As Milo woke up, the smell hit him hard. Something rotten and foul was nearby. He eyed the desiccated skeleton, but it was long dead, the few scraps of skin and fur left on it were as dry as paper and the bones yellowed with age. Milo saw the skeletons of a dozen small scavengers nearby, mostly underneath where the skeleton sat. Whatever poison this person died from hadn't faded, even in death. He went to sit up as the smell became worse, and he realized he was the source. All of his clothing besides the Runed Cowl were rotted and stinking and he was covered in filth and dried sweat. His mouth was bone dry, his teeth felt fuzzy, and his breath made him gag. Water from his canteen only helped a little. He couldn't stand to be like this.

He moved to a corner of the room, removed his clothing, and used some of the ancient bedding and his water bottle to scrape off the worst of the sweat and grime. Another blanket he tore to a smaller size and knotted about his waist. This room was large and seemed to have no exits, but one spot on a wall seemed suspiciously bare. He carefully searched for a hidden catch, then again for some other trigger. If the way to open a door was trapped, it made sense there was a way to disarm it. He found a pebble-sized knob of rock high on the rocky wall that could be depressed, and while holding it, pressed the other button. With a click the 'hidden' door opened. He carefully opened the door and entered, hearing the sound of water. The natural chamber beyond was lit by a magical lamp that hung from the ceiling. The soft light was steady with none of the fluctuations that a flame would make. Most of the chamber was taken up by a small pool of water fed by a small waterfall that poured down one side of the room. The water filled the pool, with the excess running down a spillway into another cave.

Milo didn't care if something was lurking down there, he was taking a bath! He brought the Runed Cowl with him. This wasn't the first time they had taken a bath together. A small depression held what might have been soap long ago. What was left was enough to help him get clean, along with sand from the bottom of the pool. He scoured himself and the cowl until he didn't smell anything, then carefully dressed in the blanket and cowl, tightening his belt to hold the towel in place. He noticed he had to tighten the belt another notch as if he was thinner. Looking at his arms and legs, there was a noticeable difference, with his muscles standing out more, and his fur looked...silky? Fluffy? He worried he looked like some stuffed toy now.

Stuffed toys still made Milo uneasy. He hadn't understood the concept well when he saw pictures of children with stuffed bears, unicorns, and lions. But he had heard of taxidermy and jumped to an unfortunate conclusion. Sometimes when they were small, one of their keepers would put on a children’s show for them, when it was time for them to sleep for a couple of hours. Milo had watched something called Muppets on more than one occasion. Seeing a 6-year-old girl in a photograph holding a stuffed Elmo had terrified him. But he grew suspicious when a search showed hundreds of them for sale. After discarding the idea that someone was breeding Elmo's to turn into stuffed toys as not cost-effective, he figured out how they produced teddy bears and rap-with-me-Elmo's. Everyone but Nina had laughed at him. She had been equally horrified.

The next cavern proved to be a mushroom farm, overgrown with large crops of every poisonous mushroom on Milo's list. The water spread to keep the soil in the cavern moist before the excess drained down a small hole in the wall, covered with a rusting grate. Near the entrance, Milo saw several sacks in good condition, along with rusted gathering tools. He left them for now. There was no reason to harvest anything if he had no way out of here.

Walking back through the short tunnel he examined the wall carefully and was rewarded with two more secret doors. Whoever had built this place had liked his secrets. He left them for now and went back to the first room, put his old clothes on the remains of the bedding, wrapped it all up, and then dumped the foul-smelling bundle of clothes into a hole in the soft dirt of the mushroom cave, burying them, and hopefully their smell.

He took the old blanket back with him and laid it on the ground, gathering up the bones of the withered skeleton carefully, using some of the tools he found in the mushroom cave. He had no idea if it was still toxic, but he was playing it safe. The bones were brittle and pitted, falling apart and turning to powder. The tunic the corpse had been wearing fell to pieces, dropping the broken rib bones in a pile.

The pants, however, were in suspiciously good condition. Milo held them with tongs and shook them out over the blanket. Dust and dirt seemed to fall off of them. A desiccated leather pouch burst, scattering gold coins and a dozen small rubies on the ground, along with an ornate ring. Milo set the contents of the pouch aside, tossed the pants aside, and carefully wrapped up the old bones. He found a corner of the mushroom cave and dug a small grave, mounding the dirt over it. There wasn't much else to do, or words to say.

Another hole was dug, and the bodies of the dead vermin were buried as well. Having cleaned up the room as much as he could and disposed of possibly toxic corpses, he started carefully examining the room. One end was dedicated to some sort of alchemy. Dried bottles of ingredients with faded labels were everywhere. A rack on the side held potion bottles, some of which were dry, but a dozen blue and red fizzy potions remained. They identified as Overcharged Mana Potion, full potency. and Vigorous Healing Potion, full potency. All of the potions had notes written on them detailing how many weeks it would take for them to mature and be useful. The tags were barely readable. Those would be going with him.

There were a series of journals, but written in a language and alphabet Milo didn't know. They probably were in code as well. That's how he would have done it. The thin, cramped handwriting was hard to read as if the author wanted to put down as much on each page as possible. He could probably figure out the journals given enough time, and some hints at the alphabet or language. It would be a fun side project. He put those with the potions. The other dozen books were dedicated to either mycology, poison and how to cure it, or the anatomy of spiders. All good reading material.

He turned his attention to the large book on the table. It wasn't written in code but was extremely complicated. The pages were heavy, made of thick parchment with roughly trimmed edges. They still turned easily and the heavy book seemed to be in good shape. Other people had added comments and notes in the margins, often filling up any available space. A popular book with many people owning it over the years. Turning to the index, he saw a list of chapter headings:

The author's content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

Chapter 1: Czardian measuring systems and how to translate to standard magical terminology

Chapter 2: Milking Froxbeetles for their venom, and how to remove Froxbeetle larvae from your lower intestine if you get bitten.

Chapter 3: Making Royal Jelly from Wasp berries.

Chapter 4: Creating the correct compost for growing the elusive Golden Puffball mushroom and the deadly Red Spotted Eye-Rot mushroom

Chapter 5: Lesser Elixir Vitae: A sovereign cure for all poisons and toxins.

Chapter 6: Creating a potent Spider-bane poison from Red Spotted Eye-Rot. (Read Chapter 5 first!)

The front of the book had a confusing title: Woodchucks and Beavers of the Smoke Lands by Damien Franklin

He shrugged. If it was your book, you could call it what you wanted. He wondered what chapter the beavers were in. He didn't have time to read it now though. He summoned his Smugglers Stash and loaded potions, books, gems, and gold into it. He looked at the ring and the pants. Maybe if he washed the pants, that would take care of any remaining toxins. He really didn't want to show up to fight practice wearing a blanket. He examined the pants, suspicious about how clean they were.

[Cleansing Pantaloons of the Agile Skulker

+2 to Agility

Extra Skulky: -4 to any perception checks to a creature trying to detect the wearer.

Self-Cleaning and Self-Repairing. One size fits all.]

These would do! He rinsed them off in the pool, watching the water run off the black pants, leaving them immediately dry. He put them on, amazed at how comfortable they felt. He rinsed the ring, scrubbing it with soap. It was a signet ring of some sort, but with a low profile that could be worn on the inside of his hand to obscure it. He tried to identify it, but it seemed like the ring was fighting him. He suddenly had an intense feeling of danger and being watched. He turned around quickly, and then again, feeling as if someone was looking at him. Then, as if the unseen watcher had made a decision, the feeling went away. Glancing at the ring, he had no trouble identifying it.

[Signet Ring of the Scout Master

+10% to avoid blows you are aware of.

+3 Ranks to Sense Danger skills.

Storage area 1: 12 Potions.

Storage area 2: 50 arrows, spears, javelins, shuriken, or other ammunition.

Storage area 3: Up to 10 pounds of clothing.

Storage area 4: Up to four gathering bags, of any type.]

Milo had heard of Scout Masters. They were the people that taught scouting to young whelps and how to always be prepared, weren't they? And there had been the note in the forums about one of the Hollows having a Scout Master. With a ring like this, he could see how they were always prepared.

He put the ring on his finger. Immediately he became aware of a large amount of dirty clothes, some jewelry, 12 empty potion bottles, and two empty gathering bags. Concentrating on the bags, he watched as they appeared in front of him. Each bag was the size of a small backpack and looked like a simple cloth bag with a drawstring.

[Master Gathering Bag

Weight: 1 pound

Capacity: 100 pounds of material. Limit of 1 cubic yard.]

These would hold a lot of mushrooms! He should only take a little for now though, as he still didn't know where the other tunnel went. There was no sense wasting them. He quickly picked several of each of the poisonous varieties, and two dozen of the Rot-Eye and put them in one sack. Likewise, he took several of each cooking mushroom and two dozen of the Golden Puffballs. There were several beds each of the Rot-Eye and Puffballs. He tied up the bags, and with a thought they disappeared. His next step was to find a way home. Never Lost was giving him an idea of where he was, so hopefully he could figure a way through the caves and back to the Hollow, instead of into Spider Territory.

He couldn't get over how much better he felt. It wasn't only being cured of the poison. He felt great in every way. Curious, he checked for messages from the System and saw his improvements. No wonder he felt better, and he didn't miss his little slime buddy at all. One less thing to worry about.

[Congrats on not being dead from Spider Venom or an overdose of strange chemicals you found sitting around!

Status Update:

Practice pays off, your fighting skills are improving. So has 'not dying from poison'.

Skill: Claws of Alta-Viator has improved to Rank 7

Skill: Tail of Volat-Repat has improved to Rank 7

Skill: Dodge has improved to Rank 7

Skill: Fleet of Foot has improved to Rank 6

Skill: Strong Poison Resistance has improved to Rank 6

Skill: Stealthy Skulking has improved to Rank 6

You have used a Tier 6 Elixir to purge poisons, toxins, impurities, parasites, and mutagenic symbiotic slimes from your system

-You have lost the Skill: Pudding-Based Regeneration. The creature trying to turn you into slime has been cleaned from your body.

-Bone density affected by damage from mutagenic symbiotic slime has been restored. Gain +1 TOU. Your TOU is now 9.

-Perk: Pretty Good Regeneration has been increased to Perk: Strong Regeneration

-You have gained +2 CHA because of your soft, shiny fur. Your CHA is now (2).

You have gained +5 Enhancement Points.]

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Several Hours ago...

Milo tossed and turned in a state of delirium as the potent Elixir tried to cure him while the poison tried to kill him. Besides the poison, the Elixir found something else hidden inside of him. At one point he choked and then vomited forth a large blob of white ooze.

Dejected and hurt, Ooblipimilo gathered himself together until he appeared as a 12-inch high version of his ex-host made of pale jelly.

He wobbled along with each step, determined to master the art of walking. He had plans! He would be back! He'd grow in power and return to show his host just how much they needed each other. Or maybe he'd just eat him...that would be fun.

Ooblipimilo made it to the pool room, but an errant step from a wobbly leg sent him tumbling into the pool. From there he was swept into the mushroom cave, and down to the drain. He got stuck for a while on the grate but was eventually pushed through. He tumbled into the darkness thinking: "I'll be back!!"